The new and (somewhat) improved Snot Rod still manages to cause chaos.

Chapter Twenty-five

The Combine Whisperer NOT

Doc wanted to help Prince move in but she insisted on going it alone. She really had nothing to move; she arrived to the town with just the paint on her back. He didn't think about that until after the fact. In a musical mood, she blasted everything from her nice interior stereo as she set about remodeling Doc's garage. She was considerate enough not to blast loud music when he was not there but Doc understood that he had a much younger mate and as such, Prince was still into loud music.

Everything from Kylie Minogue and Pink to Linkin Park and Ludacris poured from her lovely sound system. It could be heard coming from Doc's garage but no one complained. She needed some items so she went to a supply store that was owned by one of the tenants of The Shack. It was early still, barely 8:00A.M., and she didn't want to bother the Delinquents who were probably still sleeping.

Snot Rod was an early riser and would have gladly helped but he was not home. She had seen Snotty yesterday and was pleased by his new look. Everyone was.

x

Snot Rod's new appearance was quite impressive. Gone was the "bulky supercharger thingy" as Mia called it from his hood, this time relocated behind him, smack in the middle of his back bumper. It was discovered that it was not at all uncommon for superchargers to be situated on the hood if a car persisted, however it was not recommended simply due to the fact that it hampered a vehicle's ability to see properly. The usual – and proper as far as a mechanic saw it ‑ place for such a feature was mounted behind the car.

The barracuda looked like a totally different personality. Gone were the green eyes straying independently of each other off to the corners of his whites, making him look in two directions at once. Now he could focus like a real car with eyes should. As predicted, also gone was his sneezing. And as expected, his stuttering returned. But his friends seemed to not care about his newfound handicap. To them he was still their Snotty.

At least he had control of his flamers now and the other three were relieved for this. The damned flames; he could actually control them now. They could care less about his stuttering. It was true what the saying said: real friends didn't care; they stood by one and accepted one as was. For that Snot Rod was very grateful. He knew he wouldn't have to worry of being made fun of by the Delinquents as he had been as a child growing up, endlessly enduring the cruel taunts of other children about his speech problems.

The Delinquents had made clear to Snot Rod long ago when he first entered their click that he was one of them, regardless of what he was or had. Once the Delinquents accepted them into their pack, he was branded as a homie for life. Well, yes they did sort of pick on him for his newly-revealed stuttering, but it was in a good-hearted way. Snot Rod knew they weren't doing it to be mean to him, they picked on everyone and they picked on each other. He picked on each of them sometimes. True friends did that. Friends had to be able to laugh at themselves being made fun of from time to time.

And not that he was "ugly" beforehand but now that the supercharger was taken off of his hood, he looked quite handsome now that his entire face could be seen for once. He was still a muscle car. He had tested himself on the Strip this morning; as far as his speed went it didn't seem to make him go any slower with it on his back. Nor did it improve his speed. It just looked cool like his flames.

He also opted for smaller rear wheel tires, just slightly larger than his front ones, discarding the two monster truck-like behemoths he rolled on before. Now he wasn't leaning so far down in the front because of it. There was also another benefit that resulted from the new placement of his supercharger. It forced his front half up when he took off, causing him to do an impressive wheelie he could hold for several long seconds as he roared down the track. He would land on all fours, going at the same speed, and rage on. He was able to pop wheelies now, and monopolized that act. None of the other dragsters could do wheelies, tuners or muscle cars. And Snot Rod was a favorite at The Strip. No one treated him differently due to his stuttering.

x

Doc and Four Wheel both decided to escort him to the tractor pasture because it was such a nice morning, neither had nothing to do really and Four Wheel's shift didn't start until this evening. Everyone was still somewhat stunned by it all, just a few weeks ago Doc was this simple country doctor living the single life, now paired up with a girlfriend. Not just a girlfriend but what had to be the hottest babe on the showroom. He used to be a hermit, rarely leaving his garage unless someone needed his help, or if there was a case to do before McQueen showed up. He came out of that loner stage and turned social but stayed a bachleor. Now, he was somebody's MAN. Even he couldn't believe it.

"I NEVER thought I'd see the day when I'd end up with a live-in girlfriend Four Wheel, I tell you." Doc told the Escalade.

"Well it happens. When you least expect love ta' hit ya', dat's when it hits ya... That little car loves you Doc. I can tell you that." Four Wheel spoke in his classic wrangler-Texan style in reference to Prince. "Ya'll makes a mighty fine pairing that's for sure."

He and Doc observed Snot Rod interacting with the tractors. He had always been somewhat the odd ball of the Delinquents. For whatever reason, he really was into tractors. He was just one of those city boy types that was touched by nature and country stuff. He wasn't the only one for Wingo found the countryside and the desert landscaping touching also. But even Wingo was no big fan of "watching" tractors; he didn't hate the beasts; he just couldn't stare at them all day like Snot Rod did. He did find tractor tipping amusing and even joined Mater at times into toppling them. The first time he went tractor tipping with Mater, like Lightning he thought Mater had a boring life to find tractors exciting. But soon enough the purple-and-lime-green Silvia got into the game after watching Mater. Mater sneaking up and honking his out-dated horn, watching the lumbering creatures mooing and falling back, and Mater's ridiculously corny laughing amused Wingo.

But he itched to give it a try. Of course he had a horn unlike McQueen and his horn was cool. But he had something even better. Wingo pondered for a second, readied himself. His ladder-like spoiler was for show; he could lower it completely into his back. So, he swiftly retracted his tall spoiler down until only one row was visible, nearly level with the rest of his body. The side panels of his doors rapidly retracted back to reveal his holy grail of boom systematics in all of its glory. A neat little row of three Tang Band W3-1876S 3" mini drivers. Tucked away in his trunk was a glorious pair of W7 Series 14" 3-ohm subwoofers in addition to the bazooka tube and subwoofers on his doors. Complete with Pioneer flat speakers that lined the bottom of his undercarriage.

Mr. Wingo cocked a serious look. And with a furious sneer, he set the amplified bass of his stereo system at full decibel. He quaked some hip hop track out of his system. And with it, his entire frame lit up in a one-second flash as soon as the bass exploded from him he triggered all of his fluorescent lights to switch on, lighting him up in an awesome aura of color. So thunderous it was that Mater's bumper fell off. It was the baritone resonance of his bass that set the clumsy tractors off. All ten of them and it was so apocalyptic it even subdued FRANK! Frank burst out of the trees with a panic-stricken look before he toppled backwards. Even Lightning couldn't do that.

With an impressed Mater yelling holy smokes as he recovered from the devastating attack on his hearing, he was startled at what happened to Frank. Both he and Wingo fell out rolling in the grass. NO ONE had ever made Frank tip. Wingo the boom car could. The whole town was dazzled that he could and it surprised even him. Lightning had to give Wingo props. He wished he had been there to see it.

Wingo heard about McQueen's magnificent rev-out via Mater and would have loved to have witnessed it, but he admitted to Lightning he felt rather guilty about what he had done. It was funny but he still felt bad. The next day he reinstalled Mater's bumper on him. And truly guilty about toppling Frank, he went so far as to return to the tractor patch to "apologize" to Frank. Not that the combine could comprehend it was he who set off his shattering acoustics that sent him into panic mode; all he heard was a noise that scared him into bolting out of the bushes. Wingo was truly sorry about it and vowed to Frank never to do it again, "thanking" Frank for his understanding.

To be sure had the combine known it was him Wingo would have officially made his shit list. But it was still funny to Wingo how he fell over like that, a sight he wouldn't forget. He didn't know he had it in him either. Ahh... the power of boom systems. Great wonders indeed. While Wingo liked tractor tipping at times, still he couldn't hang out with them all day like his pal could.

Snotty on the other hand had grown fond of the grazing tractors, for whatever reason. All they were doing was grazing. And this excited him. Since Frank had gotten used to him, he freely allowed Snot to drive around the pen with them. Because of this, the Delinquents and the entire town began referring to Snot Rod as "The Combine Whisperer". No one knew how he did it; he just had a way of charming them.

Even Frank liked him, and when he was prone to his sneezing fits of the past, Frank would bellow in pure excitement when his flame thrusters ignited. He would talk to Frank, who seemed to enjoy his conversation. But that was about to become history. This was his first time visiting the tractors since his supercharger removal. For the most part the tractors ignored him as he quietly wandered around them. Frank had long ago taken a liking to him. Frank was happy to see him. That was, until Snot Rod tried to speak to him.

x

"H-hhh—h-h-h-h-h-h-h …You. Y-y-y-y-yy-YOU." Snot Rod was attempting to ask Frank "How are you doing?" but his stuttering was so severe that he couldn't get past two words. Four Wheel, a transplant from the Lone Star state who grew up on a tractor ranch outside of Dallas had a good idea of what was about to go down. He knew a thing or two about tractor behavior, in particular combine tractors. His family had several combine studs. He could tell by the look on Frank's face that things were about to go bad. VERY bad.

Snot Rod was still trying to conversate with the combine as if the hulking titan could understand any form of verbal communication. Snot Rod was trying to give the combine some "baby talk", but Frank was starting to screw up his face like Snot Rod's presence was beginning to bother him.

"Oh no…" Four Wheel moaned, now catching Doc's full attention. Doc saw it too. Though not a country-born soul like Four Wheel, he too had been around tractors as a child growing up. He had an uncle who owned a farm on the outskirts of Detroit. He, too, saw that look the combines had when they were getting ready to fight a stud for their females—the tractors. The noises that Snot Rod, in all of his innocence, were making were not being interpreted by Frank as an attempt to "baby talk" him.

In Frank's bovine mind, the jumble of syllables coming out of Snot Rod, as well as the facial expressions he made in his struggle to talk, was a threat. The combine was growing increasingly agitated by the barracuda's presence. Frank now took the sounds he was making as a challenge to his dominant position as the bull of his herd. He suddenly turned demonic, bellowing in fury, blade spinning. Snot Rod jumped in terror. Doc and Four Wheel were hollering at him to get out of the fence. Snot Rod high tailed it out, far ahead of the other two.

Frank was not interested in Doc or Four Wheel; it was the barracuda he wanted. The car had just threatened his position and laid claim to his tractors. And he needed to be put in his place. It was useless to shout but Doc and Four Wheel did any way, trying any way they could to calm the out of control combine as he barraged his way right through the fence and down the road after a terrified Snot Rod. All they could do was follow pursuit. Snot Rod skidded into the Shack where Boost, DJ, Tia and Wingo were still asleep. His mouth was wide open but no sound came out. DJ's snoring could be heard loudly as Tia nestled protectedly under him, equally knocked out but silent. But she and her suitor were so dead asleep neither heard the barracuda enter. Two at least knew it was him.

"Chrysler Snot Rod, it's too early dude." Boost grumbled before repositioning himself in the corner on his purple mat. Snot Rod inhaled deeply then spurted fourth an assault of indecipherable letters.

"FU! FUC-! FK! F..FUC-!" He was actually trying to say "Frank" and not the vulgar term for copulation.

"You got laid AGAIN, good for you now GO BACK TO SLEEP." Wingo mumbled loudly in his snooze.

"F-ffffFUUUUUUUUUUCCC-C! C-C!" Snot Rod's eyelids squeezed shut. He reopened them as he struggled to finish yelling the bovine's name. Aside from the flame-thrower's wretched stammering the only other sound that could be heard was DJ's noisy breathing that rumbled all over the garage room. Frozen on the spot from fright, Snot Rod's terrorized eyes fixated on the shape of the combine coming at him from the distance, eyes on him.

Squinting hard with absolute terror he finally managed to get the end of Frank's name out: *W-hhwWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNK!" As he screeched, a sudden and angry bellow jolted Wingo, DJ, Boost, and every one else in their garages up. Frank came upon the side where Snot Rod entered, combine blades scraping angrily against the building's side. Wingo jumped up now wide awake

"OH CRAP!"

"What was that?!" Startled awake, Tia was still confused. DJ hovered protectively over her. Making a split second decision, he suddenly shoved his face under her back end and hit the gas. His tires screeching murderously. Tia gasped as she was abruptly lifted off the floor by her end. DJ's back tires were smoking furiously as he spun his tires hard to force Tia down a hallway.

"DJ; what the- What? WAIT!" she struggle to regain her balance as she was practically rolling on one front tire.

"GET IN THE HALLWAY NOW!" DJ shouted at her with her almost sitting on top of his face. Tia was startled as she was plowed out into the hall by DJ. Rather undiginifiably. It happened so fast that she was forced to use her front wheels for support as he pushed her out of the back exit to safety. The hall was the safest place for her right now. If he plowed her outside where Frank was loose in his rampage he might run over her. There was pandemonium as startled occupants fled the building. Having secured the safety of his lover DJ skidded back in to face help his friends face Frank.

"SHIT SNOT ROD; WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?!" Wingo yelled irritably where Snot Rod was cowering in a corner. Prince and the store's owner heard the commotion and went out to investigate. She decided to act. She darted up to the combine, her doors outstretched. The minute Frank saw her, he began to calm down.

x

The large tractor began to regain his composure, momentarily forgetting about his rampage. Doc was on edge. He knew Frank well enough to know that when he got in these fits of his, it was best to leave him be and let him go on until he tired himself out. There was another reason he was antsy. He didn't like the way Frank was eyeballing Prince up. Almost like he was claiming the Lamborghini as one of his cow-like tractors. In a panic, Snot Rod had burst from the side of the building whimpering, stuttering so badly he was stammering. He couldn't even form entire words.

Frank immediately went ballistic on him again, charging straight at him, causing the terrified drag racer to dart back inside. Nearly running Prince over as he went after him, the combine charged straight for the entrance where he saw Snot Rod vanish, his huge blades whirling furiously. He rammed one end of it inside the entry way of Wingo's garage where he could see the barracuda cowering behind Wingo. Being the fearless little car that he was Wingo valiantly stood up to Frank, yelling at him to get out and flinging anything within reach of his wheels at the massive tractor. Commotion filled the Shack both inside and outside as residents took to surrounding the building, trying to get Franks attention.

"Prince NO!" Doc shouted as Prince once again spun around to Frank's side, distracting him a second time with her wing-resembling doors. She didn't seem to understand that Frank was viewing her as part of a harem. Either that or she didn't care about her safety. If enchanting him with her doors would calm him down she was willing to take that risk. Frank apparently thought that Snot Rod was now out to get what he had now claimed part of his herd-PRINCE. When he saw the butt-end of Snot Rod sticking out from behind a pile of boxes in Wingo's apartment he charged again and this time he bore clear through the wall, completely demolishing the entire north side of the Shack's lower floor.

Steve had just screeched up just in time to see a pair of identical 1961 Datsun 320 pickups flying towards him. Both were peach in color and nicely-chromed accents. These were the infamous Wilson Twins, notorious for their pranks and mischiefs, but their mortified looks told the police they had nothing to do with this.

"WE DIDN'T DO IT!" one of them screamed as they flew past them.

"How did he get loose?" Sheriff asked Steve as he watched the combine intent in razing his way into the Shack.

"He's after somebody that's for sure." Steve told him.

There were screams, yells, and curses as dozens of petrified occupants came screeching out of multiplex garage unit, among them Boost, Wingo and DJ. Completely disregarding the other two, Frank leveled his eyes on Snot Rod, who made the mistake of fleeing in Prince's direction. Frank beat him to it and parked himself right in front of Prince, bellowing with rage. Snot Rod was by now in hysterics, fleeing through the town with Sheriff in tow trying to get him away from Frank while Prince focused on Frank. She slowly started out of the town with a much more civilized Frank following her like a love-struck animal, moaning pitifully.

Doc wasn't having it. This here was HIS "tractor".

x

With a small parade of vehicles following closely behind Prince led Frank down the road back to his pasture as she talked to him, almost as if she was chastising an unruly child.

"Now that wasn't very nice you know. You scared everybody in the town! Bad Franky!" Her friendly berating was answered by a sorrowful moan and a pair of almost guilty eyes looking down at her. "I know, I know. What did Snot Rod do to you that was so bad, hm? Come now, I'm sure he didn't mean it. Now, did he?" Prince went on. Another pitiful moan. "See? I told you I'd come see you again! This was not quite how I planned to do it, but I'm here, see? Now, are we going to behave?" Prince gleamed at him as she led him into the open pen. He obediently went inside as she quickly turned around him and went back out, allowing Four Wheel to push up the broken part of the fence while Mater used his tow cable to wrap it into place.

"That'll hold him until construction can get out here and fix this. Provide poor Snot Rod don't return that is." Four Wheel breathed in relief. Prince strolled back over to Doc, leaning heavily on him for comfort. Doc knew that the huge tractor didn't know any better. Still he couldn't resist the playful teasing. He threw a little smirk in Frank's direction as if saying "See? I told you she's MINE. Didn't I?"

"What exactly did he do that got Frank so riled up?" Sarge questioned.

"Let's just say that, because of how the poor kid speaks now, the way he stutters, Frank took it as a challenge to his position as dominant male of his herd." Doc commented. Sarge couldn't hide his smile. Snot Rod was at last convinced by Sheriff, Lightning, Boost and Wingo that Frank indeed was now gone.

"Okay boy, I don't know what you did to that combine but it would behoove yew neva to do it again." Sheriff told him.

"Alll...*t-t-t-t-t-t-t-tt-t...** did. W-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-wwhhuuu-u-u-uuu-uuu.." Snot Rod's lips twitched with every letter that escaped his mouth. He took so long to even move on to the very next letter that all four cars were beginning to lift their windshields up in anticipation of what he might say.

"I... think I know what you're trying to say son. Frank ain't nothin to mess with like that. Just try to be careful how you talk to him from now on." Sheriff assured him. Snot Rod just nodded.

"I think Frank really likes you. He was actually trying to claim you as one of his tractors." Doc said with a smile.

"I'm afraid he can't. I'm already claimed property." Prince winked at him.