Debbie418uk2 - Yeah, I feel the same way. It's neat to find out if they are seeing the same thing, something similar or something completely different, and how they work with everything. It's all a matter of what characters you prefer. Which are the highest on your favorites list. For me, it's John and Rodney, so I can imagines situations they're in better than Ronon or Teyla. Though Ronon is pretty easy to figure out. If it doesn't work, blast it! LOL

And here's some FUNK! LOL

I need to do more earthbound John incidents, I know. It's all a matter of what we can do. This was one of my first chapters, before I expanded and used more details. Like him being burned at the stake, so it was done before I worked on details and suspense. Thank you about the transponder. I was thinking of that, myself, that if they are scanning for him with the Daedalus, they could just beam him up, so I was trying to work out why they couldn't.

Snow'sLuckyCat - Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed it. Oh, that's great, I wasn't sure how the summaries would turn out, but if I wrote EVERYTHING, we'd have had a chapter three times the length of usual. LOL LOL, I thought that was kinda cute and it made me smile. I was going for him being dryly sarcastic, as usual, but it not coming out right for him.

Jasminesmommy - If you've ready Debbie418uk2's latest chapter then this is nothing. LOL. They usually are painful, or embarrassing...

Puddle-Jumper38 - Seriously?! Wow, I never thought of that. He surfs, doesn't he? And he doesn't like boats?? ....MUSE! Yeah, Kavanagh doesn't like them, especially Rodney, I think.

I thought the whole 'monkey output' thing was a cute way to put it, so I borrowed it for this story. Tag to Debbie418uk2's monkey chapters...

For those trying to keep this straight (Good luck with that by the way ;D)

1st chapter:Rodney's Really Bad Days (RRBD) chapter #45 "No Good Deed Goes Unpunished"
2nd chapter:John's Really Bad Days (JRBD) chapter #14 "Rodney's Revenge"
3rd chapter:RRBD chapter #51 "Buttons"
4th chapter:JRBD chapter #19 "Monkey Madness"
5th chapter: RRBD chapter #58 "Buttons Returns"
6th chapter: JRBD chapter #21 "The Revenge Of Buttons"

7th chapter: RRBD chapter #61 "Stuck in the Middle"

This is 'Funky Week 1'. ;)

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(John's POV)

"Out of solvent and lemon?! Where'd it all go??" Storming around the briefing room, I vaguely noticed when the others moved away whenever I moved near them. "I mean, I never thought we'd run out of lemon." Shaking my head, I sighed loudly and sniffed carefully before wincing. "Alright, so, doc… What else do you have to get rid of this stink?"

Carson was tending to Rodney's cuts, wearing a hospital mask and wincing as he brushed his hand through some more of the monkey's…output. I was kind of glad he was already done with me. "Sorry lad." His eyes narrowed as he bandaged the last of Rodney's injuries and practically leapt away. "But, uh… There's nothing else to use." He shrugged as he held his hands far away from him, waiting for a not overly-enthusiastic nurse to remove the gloves as another worked on his mask, a grin attached to her features as she took in the rest of us around the room.

"You can't be serious!" Rodney adjusted himself in his seat to be more comfortable, and some of the monkey feces oozed off him to hit the floor with a wet splat, making everyone in the room wince, except for Ronon who had a seat by an open window. "You can't expect us to walk around smelling like…like…" He made the mistake of sniffing and gagged. He looked about ready to reach up and pinch his nose, and even raised his hands, when he got a look at them and promptly dropped them back into his lap again. "Hell, I'd even be willing to take the lemon!"

Teyla grinned a little from the open doorway and shrugged at Elizabeth's betrayed look, as she was the only one really in the room with us, besides Carson, and at least he had masks to turn to, to help him cope.

"Unfortunately, there's nothing we can do."

"Well then, how about we find something to do." Rodney folded his arms over his chest and his jaw dropped and his eyes began watering. Coughing a little, he dropped his arms to his sides again with such force, the clump of output on his sleeve slid off and hit the floor with another wet splat.

Pursing my lips, I wondered how much of a raise the cleaning staff were going to ask for, for being made to clean this up. I also wondered if there was enough money on Earth to cover it. I knew there wouldn't be enough money on Atlantis. "Right, so, what exactly are we supposed to do?"

"Yeah, what he said! I don't know about the Colonel, but I have a pressing…" He paused and his face flushed. "That is, I have pressing business to attend to, that I need to be smelling like me again, for."

As I took in the blush, I raised an eyebrow and folded my own arms over my chest as I regarded Rodney a moment. "Well, what's this 'pressing business' that you have to attend?"

He glared at me. "I don't see what business it is of yours."

"Well, as the CO of the base…" I trailed off and waggled my eyebrows suggestively. "You know I'll find out one way or another. Besides, I really should know all this stuff, just in case it could affect base security in any way."

"I don't see how it possibly could…" He continued to glare at me, but sighed and shook his head. Giving me a look, I picked up on that he'd tell me later, and decided to let it drop.

"Sorry, like I was saying…" I turned to Carson. "What exactly are we supposed to do?"

"Well, you could always go back to the planet and catch me a monkey. If I can analyse it's body, I might be able to find out exactly is causing the smell and see if I can't reverse engineer a vaccine to counteract it. That might still take a week, or longer, though."

"Go back to the planet…" I stated, feeling my face slacken.

Rodney's face turned as blank as mine felt. "And catch a monkey…"

"HELL NO!" We both chorused, causing the room to bust up laughing.

Feeling my face turn red, I glared at some marines, and they had the sense to stop laughing when I quietly suggested I could send them back to the planet to do it for me. And considering they were all men and knew how the monkeys reacted to men, they wisely kept their appearances professional.

Rodney glared at Carson who was chuckling away quietly and sighed loudly, forgetting himself and folding his arms over his chest, only to drop his hand on the wet patch on his arm. Again his jaw dropped as his eyes widened and he looked in horror at the wet hand print it made as he pulled it away. "Oh, come on!" Dropping his hand on the table with a wet thud, he groaned and closed his eyes. "Who's idea was it to come to the meeting before we got cleaned up?"

"Mine." Elizabeth raised an eyebrow at him. "I wanted to know what happened, and figured it was safer than keeping you in the gate room, where Chuck might be threatened into dialling the date, so the marines could throw you guys back through it." Shaking her head, she groaned. "Trust me, I'm regretting that decision already." She paused. "Check that, I regretted that decision almost right away."

I wanted to grin, but I knew she was serious. I aw Ronon as he kept turning his head to the open window with a look that told me he was contemplating climbing out it and across the side of the tower to another open window. And I saw how Teyla had completely disappeared from the room, but knowing she wouldn't leave the briefing, I glanced out the door to see part of her back against the wall outside. Carson himself was edging for the door, and Elizabeth had taken to covering her face with her hands, trying to make it look like she wasn't feeling well, but just trying to block out the smell.

Or maybe she really wasn't feeling well, because of the smell.

"Well, other than that, it looks like you're gonna have to wait a week for the Daedalus to arrive."

"There's no way to speed things up, is there? Like, maybe Rodney and I take a jumper to the Daedalus, and get the treatments…?"

"And watch the Daedalus fall out of the sky like a dead fly?" One of the nurses asked quietly.

Elizabeth began to giggle at that. She tried to cover it as a hiccup, and blushed as she looked at the table, but her shoulders shook from the force, and we could all hear the giggles even though her face was covered by her hands.

Even Carson was shaking a little from the suppressed laughter.

"Hell, the Asgard don't even have noses and they'd probably be offended." The other nurse added with a grin and giggle.

Ronon was just grinning, and Teyla and ducked her head into the room with her own grin. "That might not be wise. We cannot risk you injuring anyone on board the Daedalus." She was, of course, addressing myself and Rodney.

"What? You think we're gonna hurt them?" Rodney looked at her, shocked.

"I was not speaking of physical harm." She stated with a pointed look at our….messy selves.

"One whiff of you and they'll probably jump out the airlocks." Carson put in with a dead serious expression. "And we need those supplies. Besides, do you really think you can handle a week of close quarters with each other?"

"On a regular basis, it could be….interesting." Rodney didn't sound too enthusiastic.

"Fun… Awkward… Annoying…" I listed off all the words besides 'interesting' that spending a week with a smelly Rodney would be, to me. "Maybe even suicidal…"

"With this smell, I don't see it." Elizabeth was blunt and to the point, despite the grin on her face. "Look, until we get the solvent in, I think it would be better if you two stay on Atlantis."

"That's the perfect defence." Ronon was grinning. "No Wraith in their right mind will attack Atlantis with these two here."

"Not necessarily. They might eventually evacuate the city just to get away from us. Or dial up the gate to a Wraith-infested planet and toss us to them." Rodney rolled his eyes.

"The Wraith would die of food poisoning." Ronon put in easily. "No more Wraith. It could work."

I glared at him and barely bit back a growl at that. "Gee, thanks buddy. See if I invite you over for more Hercules."

"With you smelling like that, I think I'll survive." He waved and grinned before turning back to the window.

With a loud sigh, I shook my head and stood up from the wall I'd been leaning against. "Well, can we finish this meeting already, I'm getting kinda hungry." I saw the looks everyone was shooting me and sighed. "Can you blame me? I missed out on breakfast this morning and it's almost time for dinner. Even this smell's not gonna stop me from eating for a whole week."

"Me, either." Rodney put in.

No one looked surprised.

Standing up slowly, Elizabeth raised an eyebrow as her eyes scanned my body slowly. "Alright. We're dismissed, but before you go eat, I suggest you boys bathe. It might not do much for the smell, but at least you won't be…" She winced as I felt something slide down my leg and 'splat' on the floor. "Dripping…"

"And maybe the salad won't turn brown from the smell alone." The nurse added in with a look as she turned and walked out of the room. "No, check that, the salad would still probably turn brown...

The other nurse nodded and followed her. "First dibs on the yogurt before they get there and it curdles?" She laughed and leaned against the other nurse, who was also laughing, as they walked down the hall.

"A shower sounds like a good idea." I waved to Elizabeth on my way out. Feeling my face heat up and glaring at the girls' back, not to mention planning how to get them on the clean up list for that room, I beat a hasty retreat and a b-line to my room for a nice, hot shower…or three. Of course, it did occur to me that this smell could have it's upsides. At least there'd be no line at the mess hall.

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Hope you like it.

R+R Please

Thank you

Tenshi