Warning: Some intense scenes ahead which are suggestive towards sexual assault. If that makes you uncomfortable then please do not read. This story has been changed to an M rating to be safe.

In this Chapter and story in general Lydia is about 14/15, so she is very young.

Late 1809. Meryton, Hertfordshire.

Lydia sighed impatiently as she stared at the parlour door of the Lucas' home.

'Where was he?!' She thought with a panic. He had informed her that he would be here at exactly eight o'clock and yet here she stood at fifteen minutes past the hour and he had still yet to show. She desperately hoped he would appear for she had put ever so much effort into her dress and ensured that Sarah had spent longer on her hair than she had for any of her sisters. 'Oh, how she wished that he would be desperately impressed with her and declare her the prettiest woman he had ever seen.' Lydia thought with a small sigh.

She attempted to calm herself by letting her gaze wander over the crowd around her. Kitty was dancing with a rather bland gentleman, who seemed determined to break all her toes with his horrid dancing. 'Poor Kitty' Lydia thought with a giggle. To be stuck with such a foul partner! He was the most wonderful of dancing partners she was sure, so handsome as well. And he had shown great interest in her! Not Jane or Lizzy, not… well whoever would show interest in Mary or Kitty?

Lydia took another sip of her drink but stopped suddenly when she felt eyes upon her. 'He has come!' she cheered triumphantly in her head. As she turned to the door she saw that he in fact had yet to arrive. Looking about she noticed that the only person in the room currently gazing at her was Jane. Her soft blue eyes focused solely upon her, calculating her demeanour. Lydia shifted uncomfortably as she cowered slightly under her eldest sisters unwavering stare. 'Why was Jane staring at her so?' she had been acting ever so strangely the last few days. In fact now that she thought about it Jane had been acting like this since the night she had met him. Did Jane know of the attentions he had paid her? Was she jealous? The thought of Jane being envious pleased her more than she would care to admit, a slight giggle escaping her as she convinced herself.

'Oh Lord, Jane was jealous that she had captured his attention!' Lydia thought with no small amount of glee. Though everyone claimed that Jane was the most beautiful Bennet Lydia knew it not to be true. For if she was then why had he scarcely acknowledged her then?

"Excuse me ma'am but the gentleman over there asked me to give you this note." A footman said as he handed her a small piece of paper. She nodded her head before she shifted her gaze to Jane, who had thankfully been pulled into conversation by that awfully plain Charlotte Lucas.

'Meet me in the Library. Yours, J.'

Lydia quickly read the note and took a deep breath to calm herself before looking around to assure no was watching her. She quietly walked around the edge of the room to ensure that nobody would notice her quick departure. She giggled to herself once again as she made her way down the hallway towards the library. Thankfully all the guests had remained in the parlour and dining room, so she was alone as she hurriedly made her way towards Mr Lucas' study. She tried the door handle and was surprised when it opened for she knew that hosts usually locked certain doors as they held parties. Before she entered she checked the hallway once again before slipping into the room.

It took her eyes a few seconds before they adjusted to the darkness of the room. She felt blindly for something, anything to ensure she didn't fall or bump into something for no doubt the noise would alert someone.

"Steady there." A voice whispered in her ear as a hand found her waist. She let out a breathy laugh as she turned towards the voice, infinitely glad when the man lit a small candle by the fireplace. It made the room appear so romantic.

"Mr Whitley."

"Now my dear I ask, no demand you call me Jonathan."

"Jonathan," She repeated, her cheeks stained red as she gazed at the man before her.

"Never did a name sound so pretty," He stated as he reached up to touch a stray curl. Smirking as he felt her quiver slightly beneath his touch. "You my dear owe me an apology."

"Whatever for?" Lydia asked, her voice tinged with desperation as she leaned into his touch slightly. She dearly hoped she hadn't done anything to offend him.

"You and thoughts of you have driven me quite insane. For I have not been able to stop thinking about you since I laid my eyes upon you." Mr Whitley declared as he moved them towards the fireplace. Lydia stared at him unblinkingly as he took her in, his eyes lingering on the neckline of her dress. "For who could forget such a pretty thing? Tell me have you thought of me at all?"

"Oh Yes, constantly. How I wished to see you again but I knew nothing of where you were." Lydia admitted in a rush, her heart thumping against her chest.

"Good, for I dread to know what I would do if I thought you didn't think of me." Mr Whitley said as he leaned forward slightly, towering over her small frame. Lydia giggled as she reached her hand up to touch his label, delighted when he grabbed it, perhaps a little too tightly, and began to caress her wrist. "Tell me about your family?"

"My family? Oh they're all so dull and dreary." Lydia replied with a nonchalant shrug, far too focused on the hand on her wrist.

"Appease me my dear," Mr Whitley said more forcefully.

"Well I have four sisters: Jane, Lizzy, Mary and Kitty and then mama and papa." Lydia answered blandly as she gazed at the handsome man before her.

"No brothers?"

"No, just sisters." Lydia answered as Mr Whitley leaned in, she could feel his lips touch her forehead before lingering there.

"I heard that your father owns Longbourn. Quite a pretty house. A pretty house that contains a pretty girl."

Lydia giggled before nodding her head. "Yes Longbourn is our family home." Lydia answered as she continued to stare transfixed at the man before her. Mr Whitley nodded before he leaned in but pulled back suddenly. Dropping her hand and walked towards the door, he placed his palm on it before taking a deep breath.

"Please forgive me, that was wrong. I let my passion for you almost get the better of me." He said as he kept his back turned from her. Lydia rushed to him, placing a trembling hand on his shoulders though he still refused to turn to her. "You must accept my apology Lyd, Miss Lydia. For I wouldn't forgive myself if I have done something that has caused you to think ill of me. It is just…"

"What?"

"I know this is only our second meeting but I already feel so strongly about you. The mere thought of you makes me feel things I have never felt before and they scare me." He admitted as she turned and took hold of her wrist once again. His large hand completely covering her own.

"I know, I feel it too. I have thought of nothing else since I met you. I could barely sleep last night thinking about tonight, of seeing you again." Lydia confessed as Mr Whitley took a step towards her, smiling down at her, his eyes glinting in the candlelight.

"It warms my heart to know that you think of me as I do you. Please excuse my forwardness but I must see you again. For if I don't then my heart would surely break. When would you grant me my greatest wish?"

"You are not leaving are you?" Lydia asked in a great panic.

"I must my lady. Give me a day and time to be in your presence again and I shall be there."

"Tomorrow evening? I could go for a walk after seven. There is an old cottage behind the Smyth field. Do you know where it is?" When the man nodded she continued, a thrill running up her spine. "I could meet you there if you wish, it is not too far from Longbourn and nobody uses it."

"Perfect! I am looking forward to it already. Though the time spent from your company will pain me, the thought of seeing you again shall be a great comfort." Mr Whitley lamented as he kissed her cheek, his lips hovering over hers for a few moments before he rested his forehead against hers. "Sweet dreams Lydia." He whispered before moving to the door and leaving, not sparing her a glance before he left.

Lydia stood there for a few moments before she allowed herself to fall into one of the seats by the desk. She placed a shaking hand over her erratic heart and knew she would barely sleep that night.

It had been a few glorious weeks since she had agreed to meet Mr Whitley in the cottage behind the Smyth field and Lydia could hardly believe her luck. He had been so kind and attentive. Always showering her with compliments and bringing her the loveliest of gifts. Like the gold chain he had given her with a small charm on it or the beautiful bracelet that shimmered in the light, which was so delicate that she was afraid to even wear it. He had implored upon her not to wear them in front of her family for her parents might not understand or her sisters might get jealous.

She smiled happily as she got ready to meet him again, for their nightly meetings where the highlight of her day. She wondered what they would talk about tonight as she decided which bonnet would suit her best. Mr Whitley was so interested in her it was thrilling. He inundated her with questions about herself and her family. Encouraged her to talk of her home, for example when she told him a tale of her sisters he would demand that she explain the rooms of Longbourn and what they contained in detail so that he could gather a better picture in his mind of what was happening. He also requested that she not ask any questions of his past for it pained him greatly to speak of it. Telling her, with his lovely eyes shining, that he would not think of the bad times, especially in the presence of an angel. She had laughed when he said it though the sincerity in his eyes made her believe his words. Causing her to blush and promise not to ask him anything that would hurt him.

She loved him. She was sure of it. It thrilled and terrified her for she had never been in love before but she knew that he was the man with whom all her dreams where based. He was so good and kind and always made sure that she was comfortable. He had told her on a number of occasions that she was the most special person that he had ever met and that when he got the chance he would march into her father's library and demand her hand.

Wasn't that romantic?

He was also very passionate, though he had never forced her to do anything she was uncomfortable with. Often telling her that their love had no bounds and that silly social conventions where not made for people like them. She could still remember the first time he had kissed her. It was a little over a week after they first began to meet in the cottage. She had been just about to leave when he had placed a gentle but firm hand on her shoulder and before she knew what was happening he leaned in and placed his lips upon hers. She had only ever dreamt of being kissed so the actual thing was rather overwhelming. When he had pulled back he had smiled gently at her and wished her safe journey home and pleasant dreams, watching her as she went. She barely remembered her journey home.

Since then their physical expressions of love had continued. She had kissed him more times than she could count. Well, that was a lie actually for she knew that she had kissed him forty four times and each had been more wonderful than the last. Though at times Jonathan seemed more inclined to touch her than to speak she didn't mind for his touch was so nice.

"Where are you going?" A voice enquired from the doorway. Lydia jumped as she turned around, her eldest sister looking at her suspiciously.

"I am to take a walk." Lydia informed her as she moved to walk past, huffing as she had to squeeze her way through the doorway as Jane remained their unmoving.

"Give me a moment and I'll fetch my coat and bonnet." Jane said as she walked towards her room.

"No!" Lydia refused, cursing herself internally as Jane stopped suddenly and turned around slowly. "No, I mean I wish to walk by myself. I enjoy the peacefulness of being on my own." Lydia explained as she watched her eldest sister tilt her head slightly before moving towards her.

"Jane have you seen my knitting, I seem to have misplaced it?" Lizzy asked as she walked up the stairs, unaware of the tension on the landing, Jane shook her head as Lydia practically ran down the stairs. "Jane?"

"There is something wrong with Lydia." Jane stated as she moved past Lizzy and ran down the stairs quickly, moving towards the front door of Longbourn. As she stood on the front step of her family home Jane promised that she would find out whatever was happening with Lydia.

Lydia ran quickly away from Longbourn, 'Stupid Jane' she cursed in her head as she quickly made her way through the shrubbery that had grown in front of the entrance to the cottage. 'How dare she treat her so suspiciously?!' Lydia seethed as she tore her bonnet from her head and threw her coat angrily on the table.

"Ssh, calm yourself my love." A voice said soothingly in her ear. "Whatever is the matter?"

"Jane. Jane is the matter! You should see how she treats me. As if I am nothing more than a child. She follows my movements, hovers over me and always has to know what I am doing. Sometimes I hate her, I truly do!" Lydia said furiously as tears ran from her eyes.

"It is only natural to feel such a way towards a family member. She sees that you are happy and wishes to stop it. You must understand that she is attempting to break us apart, ruin our love. This is why I discouraged you so from telling your family. They wouldn't understand it."

"No they wouldn't, they don't understand it." Lydia agreed as she cried into Jonathan's shirt, moving with him as he guided her towards the small bed in the corner of the cottage.

"Then you must see that I am the only person with whom you can place your trust in. Only I understand you Lydia, no one else loves you like I do, do they?" When the crying girl nodded he continued, "No one makes you feel the way I do Lydia, do they?" When Lydia nodded again he moved her slightly so that her back was against the thin mattress. "You look so sad Lydia, you know not how that pains me, let me make you feel better Lydia, let me show you how much I love you." He said as he ran a hand up her arm, tugging her dress from her shoulder as he began to climb on top of her, her tears gone as she watched him with naïve anticipation.

"Lydia. Lydia." Kitty called for what was the fourth time that morning, glaring openly at her younger sister as she sat at the breakfast table at Longbourn, staring unseeingly at the bowl before her. "Lydia! Pass me the sugar."

"Oh Kitty, do be quiet girl. I had the most dreadful of sleeps last night and my poor nerves." Mrs Bennet bewailed as she raised her napkin to her eyes. Her husband not sparing her a glance as he entered the room, oblivious of his wife's distress.

"The good book tells us of rest that 'In peace I will lay down and sleep for you oh Lord will keep me safe." Mary said as she took another mouthful of porridge, unaware of Lizzy or her father's rolling their eyes at her.

"Oh hush Mary, there is no need for you sermonizing here!" Mrs Bennet exclaimed as she sniffed loudly.

"Lydia pass the sugar." Kitty demanded as she thumped her hand on the table in annoyance, Lydia despondent as ever, only Jane noticing their sisters' strange behaviour.

"I think we should walk to Meryton," Lizzy asked as she sipped her tea, briefly looking at their father's paper before he turned the page. "Do we have your permission father?" Lizzy asked to which her father shrugged in agreement, too engrossed in the latest scandal at Westminster.

"Meryton it is then." Lizzy stated as she sighed with boredom.

"Lydia!" Kitty called forcefully once again, their mother huffing loudly before she began to complain loudly about the state of her nerves. Lydia rose from her seat and walked quietly from the room, Jane moving to follow only to be told to sit by their father who was muttering to himself about 'dramatic daughters'

Lydia stood by the top of the stairs for a few moments before she quietly crept towards her mother's room. Closing the door behind her as she made her way towards the jewellery box, a shaking hand opened it and carefully removed a pair of pearl earrings her grandfather had bought her mother for her wedding day. She could feel the tears well up in her eyes as she took them and hid them in the neckline of her dress. How she didn't want to do this but Jonathan had told her that he would only need them for a little while and then after the men had left he would get them back to her as quickly as possible. He had even negotiated with the store owner to ensure they wouldn't be in the window so that someone could buy them. That didn't help her now though, not when her heart was aching. She knew this was wrong but Jonathan had confided in her what was to happen when those men found him.

"They'll kill me Lydia, I'm as good as dead now. But if I can give them what they want then they'll go away and then we can be in peace. I promise after this is sorted I'll go to your father within the week and secure your hand. But I can't do that with these men after me Lydia. It's my final step to redemption sweetheart. I'll give them the money and we'll be together. You don't know what I was like before I met you, before you saved me. I was an empty shell of a man but thanks to you I am saved. Help me please sweetheart, help me and we'll be together. I'll sort it out, they won't even notice they're missing."

She had tried to speak to him about getting the money from somewhere else but he was in such a state she couldn't talk to him. He kept saying that if she loved him then she would help him and if she wasn't going to then she obviously didn't care for him at all. She had assured him that she did love him and apologised to him if she made him feel that she didn't, swore on her family lives that she would do as he asked and that everything would be alright.

"Do you love me Lydia?" He asked as they sat a while later on the bed. She didn't like this bed much and didn't really like him either when they were in it. She had heard some women talking once, when she and Kitty had sneaked over to Maria's and listened to her mother and her friends speak of their husbands. Heard that men were supposed to be kind and gentle but Jonathan wasn't like that. No, he hurt her and was very forceful. She had told him several times that she didn't want to but he said then she didn't love him and she couldn't have him thinking that so she let him. She was rather tired of the bruising on her arms and the pain between her legs when she walked but she didn't dare tell Jonathan for fears he would be embarrassed or leave her.

"Of course I love you." Lydia said, though she would admit to herself that those feelings she had felt so strongly only weeks ago were diminishing by the day.

"Then show me," Jonathan said as he reached for the hem of her dress, Lydia could feel her heart race as she began to reach for his hand.

"I do Jonathan, I really do but please. Not today, I don't want to." Lydia pleaded though they fell on deaf ears as he began to undo his trousers. Lydia attempted to say no again but was quieted by the lips pressed against hers, her hands pinned above her head. She turned her head and cried into the pillow, wishing more than anything to be back home with her family.

She had given him the earrings three nights ago.

She had not seen him since.

She had waited in the cottage for hours waiting for him to return and yet he did not show.

But worse than that was Jane's behaviour. She had barely left her alone, walking the grounds of Longbourn until she had come home and then demanding to know where she had been. Lydia had simply ran as fast as she could to the house and locked herself in her room and had refused to leave since.

Of course her family had asked how she was, she had told them she had had the most horrific fight with Maria Lucas and wasn't feeling well. She had managed, through Sarah, to tell Maria of their supposed fight and to tell anyone who asked that she didn't wish to speak to her anymore as they weren't friends. She knew that her parents and sisters, apart from Jane believed her. She had heard them discussing how silly she was earlier.

Jane however had not believed a word and had set up camp outside her bedroom door. Whether it was morning, noon or night Jane could be found outside. She had told her parents that she found Jane's concern annoying and she was sure that they had told their eldest daughter to give their youngest some space. But still she silently remained. Lizzy seemed to clue into Jane's concern and had also begun to ask questions. Though she answered none.

He had tricked her.

She knew that now but how could she have been so silly? Not only had she given him her mothers beloved pearl earrings but she had also… Oh God even thinking of it made her want to cry.

'Stupid, stupid Lydia!' She thought as she gasped for air, the sound muffled by the pillow. Her crying stopped suddenly by the rising vomit in her throat. She barely managed to make it from the bed when she collapsed by the basin. Her sleeves and hair drenched with the vile liquid. Her crying and Jane's attempt to open the door the only thing that could be heard.

She cried harder as she felt a gentle hand on her shoulder and soothing words in her ear as Jane led her to the bed whilst Lizzy closed the door and locked it.

"Oh my dearest Lydia." Jane said as she led her distraught sister to her bed. "You must tell us what is going on." Lizzy demanded as she cleaned her hair with a cloth. Lydia nodded briefly as she looked at her eldest sisters. Feeling safer than she had in days for she knew they would take care of her, as they always had.

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