A/N:

Thanks Owley for reeviewing all the chapters and I'd like to say the same thing happened to me when I yelled at a squirrel the other day. Well because I really feel like writing and all of Owley's reviews I am giving you all the newest chapter...Enjoy.

~Chapter 24: Under without Question~

Mocking Bird Mocking Bird,

Sing your song,

Mocking Bird Mocking Bird,

Right what's wrong,

Mocking Bird Mocking Bird,

Their graves are here,

Mocking Bird...

My eyes snap open and I find myself sitting up screaming. I clamp my mouth shut and whip my head around, sighing when I see I am still in the cave. Four times, I fall asleep to the murmur of kind voices. Four times I'm brought to a realm of darkness where that same song is sung. And four times I wake up screaming at the top of my lungs. Why is that? Well it is because I have yet to die, though I sit in this cave bleeding away for four days. Too long, I've been alive for too long. I don't deserve to live because I am offically a monster; I killed my mother, i killed her in cold blood.

My dear, do not cry for everything will be right once more.

I shake my head as the same kind but sing songy windy voice whispers in my ear. Today isn't the first time it has spoken to me, it began talking to me once I killed my mother. WHich makes me think I have been sent kindness which tightens my heart, as a punishment for my wrong doing. Because I don't want or deserve the kindness of others.

"Go away kind voice." I grumbled.

No dear, I won't. Not while you're hurting, I am with you forever and I speak to you when you are in pain.

"I deserve to be in pain." I muttered. "I deserve to die."

You may think that now. But what about later.

I shook my head and looked down at the small pool of blood of mine, it grows slowly as I reopen my injuries that crust over. It grows slowy as I slowly bleed myself to death, giving myself a slow painful death.

"I bet if it wasn't for the help of the moon being hidden that I'd hurt Seth just as I hurt everyone else. I couldn't live with myself any more than I do if I hurt him, if I injured him. SO I bet I won't change my mind about death later." I said.

The voice is silent and I don't care, I don't care one single bit. I dip my index finger in the crimson liquid on the ground and bring it up to my pendent's gemstone. The small gem glowed sightly ad as I smeared blood on it, it flashed for a second and then the center slipped out. Of course my tail and ears appeared, though my tail lay limply on the cave floor and my ears drooped or were turn to where they lay against my head sadly.

Forgive yourself, because if you don't you won't forget and won't be happy.

"I don't want to be happy." I growled.

Silent Night,

Holy Night,

All is calm,

All is bright,

I slowly began drifting off to sleep again as the voice began singing my faverite lulluby that my mom would sing to me when I was little. At first I smiled, remembering the happier times of my life but my smile faded as quickly as it had come as my head touched the cool stoney foor. Tears welled up in my eyes as I listened to the song and as brief flashes of my recent happiness came. Eventually ending with tears spilling down my face as I slipped and fell into sleep.

. . .

Eventually I wake up, but I am not happy when I awaken. The rusty scent of my own blood fills my nostrils and the echoing images of that one night fills my vision. I, without getting up or sitting up, begin to crawl toward the black survival knife that was my mother's. There weren't many thoughts running through my head except for one...

suicide.

But before I reached the knife I stopped to place the center of my pendent's gem back in place, thus getting rid of both my tail and ears. After that I continued to crawl to the wall where I had thrown the knife on that night.

No don't do it. You have to stay alive, for true love. The voice nearly screeched in my ear as it realized what I was doing.

"I don't deserve to live." I said. "I'm a murderer and true love only exists in fairy tales."

True love is real.

"No it-it's not." I stuttered, eyes burning with coming tears.

You're not a monster. True love awaits you, dear.

I froze right there tears threatening to spill from my burning eyes and arms wobbly with unknown feelings that churned within me. What are these feelings? I looked down to see my arms push me back without my control over them. The knife got smaller as, without my control, I moved away from it.

"Let me do it." I whimpered.

No I cannot let you.

The voice was stern but very gentle and careing. It seemed to want to keep me alive as I do not want to.

"Please I'm a monster. I'll hurt everyone if I live." I sobbed.

Tears then swelled in my eyes and fell down my face and dripped silently onto the cave floor; a faint echoing drip filled the silent cave. I whimpered and cried for the voice to let me do it, let me stab myself. The tears sped up as the seconds passed and I sat three feet from the knife.

"Please." I repeated.

Sweetie, please don't do it. You must live you will be missed by more than you know if you do, you'll be hurting them even if you don't mean to.

My hands slipped, taking my arms out from under me; I collapse to the ground. I closed my eyes and shook my head as if the voice was alive and could see it. Silly as it may sound but for some reason I felt a gentle hand rest on my back and pat it gently.

Control is all you need sweetie.

And with that the hand disappeared and so did the voice. I opened my eyes and began crawling toward the knife once more. Control. Control is what everyone is telling me what I need. And if I keep listening to them, as they order me on what I can and can't do. That is not control over myself that is control from another over me. I collapsed a second time inches from reach of it.

"I have control" I muttered wrapping my fingers around the handle.

I roll over more tears spilling from my eyes and tighten my grip on the fatal weapon that could so easily kill a living being. The feel of the smooth black wooden handle made me begin to whimper; I pull it toward myself and lift it above my chest. I slowly angled to sharp curved blade to where it pointed to my heart.

"I'm sorry." I whispered.

I gently touched the point to the exact place where my heart was. As much as I wanted to die I wanted to live. Both wants make me selfish, and keep the monster in me in control. "Don't Magy." a velvety male voice says.

"I want to." I cried. "I can't hurt them anymore if I do."

Turning my head I look up to see a white skinned boy. His topaz eyes were gentle and he moved at a slow human pace so not to scare me. I did not move nor did I take my eyes off him, he had bronze hair and a kindly air to him. He reminds me so much of that nice doctor, Carlisle only he does not look like the doctor.

"I am Dr. Carlisle Cullen's adopted son, Edward." he said.

I gave him a sad smile. "Tell everyone I'm sorry Edward Cullen"

The next second cold marble hands have lifted me from the ground and I'm being carried out of the cave. I knew what I just did and that was the exact reasons why I fell limp and the vampire's arms. The knife had been lifted without me looking by my own hands and drien at full speed into my chest. I didn't hit my target, my heart, but I did hit close enough to kill me though it will take longer ; blood tried to trickle from out of the knife which was now lodged deep into my chest.

"Mocking Bird Mocking Bird,

Sing your song,

Mocking Bird Mocking Bird,

Right what's wrong,

Mocking Bird Mocking Bird,

Their graves are here,

Mocking Bird..." I sang with a silent sob right before fresh air and rain blasted me.

And that was the last thing I realized before I sank under...

A/N:

Oh and I almost forgot I reread all the chapters and realized ALice's vision of Cactus killing a human hasn't come true yet...maby I'll make it come true a week or see after he gets out of the hospital. *evil smiles*

Well until next time...

Stare at a rock. Sing Mocking Bird for no reason just to see what people's reactions will be to it. And be yourself...

-TwistedAnimal