When I said no one dies that was kind of a lie because I meant to say that ALLY doesn't die.
Austin's POV
There was nothing.
I didn't know how to feel. My Ally Dawson was gone, swept away by the harsh river. She was here just a moment ago, and then...she was just gone.
I stood there for some time trying to make sense of it. She did it to save me. But that didn't mean it wouldn't kill me. I was dying on the inside, mentally. I should have been the one to fall down that cliff.
We called 411 after that and told them to come as quick as they could, and they did, taking off the man's mask and they told me his name was Jimmy Starr; otherwise known as Kira Starr's father. They had been after him for years. He was took to jail, handcuffs around his wrists.
Was he the man that killed Ally's parents? Is that was her eyes got so big when she said we had to leave? I didn't know.
On a similar note, what was Kira talking about? I know that Ally and her family would never kill anyone. It had to be a misunderstanding!
I wanted to ask Elliot, but I didn't want to disturb him. The only person that was taking this worse than me was him. He faced the back of all of us, on a big rock. I could tell he was crying. I've never seen him cry, and it honestly broke my heart, as if it wasn't broken the moment I witnessed the love of my life fall backwards and into the river. Ally had always told me that her brother didn't love anyone or anything, including her. But if he didn't, he wouldn't be crying like this. It was living proof that he loved her, but I guess he just didn't have the best way of showing affection.
Piper had tried to comfort him, but he angrily shooed her away. Carrie had told her not to take it personally. She could barely get the words out. Ally Dawson was her best friend; it must have been hard.
But Cassidy, Piper, and Dez were the ones that were actually holding it together, as if they hadn't seen Ally just die in front of their own eyes. And if I was being honest with myself, it was because they didn't know Ally like Elliot, Carrie and I did. They didn't know her biggest secrets. They didn't know her real self. They didn't know her like a book.
I hadn't cried yet, surprisingly, and the memory was still fresh. I just couldn't cry. I felt completely numb right now from my head to my feet; my blood went cold, and I was pale everywhere; excruciating pain hit me that Ally was gone. She couldn't have survived that fall, she too fragile. That's why I thought if I fell it'd be less painful. Maybe I'd survive, and it'd all be okay. I just would want it to be me. But we can't pick and chose our own destinies.
I tensed slightly when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I spun around to see Dez, expression clouded with sadness. "We should get back," he said quietly, still not letting go of my shoulder.
I wanted to scream "no" at the top of my lungs and rant on how unfair this all was.
But I didn't.
I didn't want to stay here, but at the same time I did. Part of me had a small feeling of hope grow inside me that Ally was alive, and I wanted to found a way down the cliff safely. There had to be a way down to where the river and I met, and walked close together in search for Ally.
But I didn't.
I didn't scream in protest. I simply nodded my head, swallowing my tears, forcing myself to move my numb legs. It's as if I was learning to walk again. I had been standing in that same place for hours in seemed like. My feet made creases in the mud that was forming back into dirt.
Everyone followed Dez except Elliot, who remained on the rock, his hands in his face. He was mumbling words under his breath. The only thing I caught was "It should have been me." I couldn't imagine what he was feeling. First he lost his parents, now his sister was gone.
I shivered. Gone.
I tapped on Piper, who was just ahead of me. She turned, waiting for me to say something, but I didn't say anything; my head tilted to where Elliot was. She knew what I was saying: talk to him. If anyone could talk him down, it was Piper. Yes, he pushed her away the first time she tried, but she was persistent. And I knew by now she wouldn't drop the matter if one of her friends were distressed.
We walked back in silence to the car. Dez lead us, Carrie and Cassidy walked side by side, and I fell behind them, head down.
Talking one last look at the lake, I turned back and crawled into the car next to Dez and Carrie, that had to sit close together in order to fit all of us. Cassidy was that last to squeeze in; we all guessed Piper would sit up front to comfort Elliot.
"I miss her," Carrie whimpered. She was still crying. Dez cuddled closer to her in comfort. There was nothing else he could really do but be there for her.
Nothing else was said as we waited for Elliot and Piper to come back, and a few moments later they did, hand in hand. Elliot's eyes were red and puffy as he got into the car and Piper made her way into the passenger set.
And we drove away.
I looked back, even though I knew I shouldn't have. My hand met the glass in the back of the car. Goodbye Ally Dawson, I said silently.
I just couldn't except the fact that she was gone. I wanted to look, even if it wouldn't get me anywhere. I wanted to at least find her body, I could care less and out Kira. I know it sounded mean, but Kira was the one that caused all of this; she was responsible for Ally's death, and, technically, her own.
The majorady ride home, I looked out the window with a dull expression. My eyes sunk, but they didn't close, only blinked every so often. Cassidy opened her mouth to say something many times, but she always closed it a few seconds later. Eventually she gave up on talking, and she leaned on me and fell asleep. I kissed her forehead, thankful for her warmth.
The rest of the way wasn't really any different. Cassidy was still asleep, and Carrie had stopped crying and fell asleep top on Dez, he was sound asleep too. I squinted my eyes and realized Piper had fallen asleep too on the window.
Elliot and I were the only ones awake. "You really loved her, didn't you?" he finally spoke up, voice weak. "Ally, I mean," he said in a rush, as if I didn't know what he meant the first time, and I did know exactly who he was talking about when he mentioned her and love.
"Y-Yes." I was surprised my voice came out as strong as it did, despite my dry mouth.
He nods. "And she loved you. She proved it by saving you."
"She saved all of us," I correct him. If she didn't take the gun from Kira, we all could have died. She would have shot us one by one, and we'd all be dead; Jimmy and Kira would have gotten away with it and continue their bloodthirsty anbitions. They didn't care who they hurt, or who they hurt to get to the other person.
"I suppose." He nodded again.
I expected him to drop off everyone, but instead he went to his house first. "I thought-" I started to say my thoughts aloud, but he cut me off.
"I have something for you," Elliot said, opening the door and closing it softly so he wouldn't wake anyone. Me? I thought. What would he want to give ME?
I gently lay down Cass and she melted into the set and continued her peaceful sleep.
I stood on the front yard while Elliot went inside. I wondered if Vanessa was awake. If she was, he was going to have to tell her.
I glanced up at the roof. And I swear I saw Ally, standing there, waving at me with the sweetest smile. But I blinked, and she was gone. I closed my eyes tightly, but opened them when I heard the door closed, and Elliot made his way out, eyes pained as he held something in his hand.
I squinted.
Ally's songbook.
Oh God.
He approached me. "I want you to have this."
"Her-Her songbook?" I stuttered, then widen my eyes. "N-No I-I can't," I say quickly, gesturing my hands, shooing away the book that reminded me too much of the beautiful bunette.
"Please take it, I can't hold onto it. It reminds me too much of her," he told me, echoing my thoughts.
"No," I say again, shaking my head, feeling more and more weak in the knees. Part of me just wanted to take the book and run away with it, but the other couldn't even look at it without feeling the urge to cry.
"Please," he insisted, holding it up.
"Okay," I said softly, finally giving in. "Okay." Before I could take it myself, he put it in my hand and with my other hand, he gently lay it on the leather cover, and my fingers danced on the faded A.
"Take care of it, like you took care of her," he said seriously.
"I will," I promised, feeling more confident even though my voice made a terrible cracking noise.
"C'mon then," he said after a few minutes, shaking himself. "Let's get you home."
I lay awake in my bed, lipstick still all over my face from my mom kissing me, happy that I was alive. I didn't even tell her about Ally yet, I didn't want to make my parents upset.
I turned to my side.
Unable to sleep, I push the covers off me and turn on my lamp, looking at the songbook that was on my dresser next to my bed.
Picking it up, I open it up to a random page. It smelled of her perfume. Flowers.
I closed it, not being able to read it. I didn't have the heart.
I tugged it close to me, clutching my teeth together and scrunching up my face, feeling tears finally make their way down my cheeks.
It finally hit me.
I thought it hit when it happened.
But I realized that it wasn't when I stood there for so long that it hit me, or in the car, or even when Elliot gave me the book. It was here, in my bed, and the only company of Ally's songbook, I broke down.
I was no longer numb.
I felt everything.
The pain of Ally not being here was the worst pain I've ever felt, and it was going to be the worst in my lifetime. And I won't get over it until the day I die.
So...That happened...
There isn't really a lot here other than Austin's thoughts about losing his Ally (ðŸ˜).
The next chapter is the chapter before the last. It's been so much fun writing!
Please review and I will see you soon :)