A/N: Hello my fabulous friends. So you liked yesterday's chapter? Me too.

Today's chapter is all about conversations. I think there's a lot that needs to be said, not just on this story or on the show, but between us and our loved ones. If you care about someone, tell them. Don't wait until tomorrow because there might not be one. Don't wait until it's too late show that you care.

So there's my soap box theme for the year.

I am so grateful to USA Network for saving my sanity. There's nothing better than waking up and everyone else in the house is asleep and turning on an episode of NCIS. It's so awesome. Oh, so my dad and I came up with the best idea ever. Ok so I'm homeschooled so next year for school, I should take a Critical Thinking class where I have to watch at least 2 hours of NCIS. It's great. We've got Professor Gibbs, guest Doctors, (Ducky), the class clown(Tony, of course), the intimidating but exotic young woman that every man wants but can't have except for Tony, lol (Ziva), the computer geek (McGee), the goth science fanatic (Abby), the yard duty (Vance). If only such classes were real.

Anyway, here we go. Enjoy!

Tony barged in through the doors of the hospital, and after ten minutes of interrogating a particularly determined nurse, he found his way to Ziva's room. Gibbs stood outside the room, leaning up against the wall. Tony slowed as he neared Gibbs.

"Boss," He said. Gibbs looked over at him. "What happened?"

"We were about to board a helicopter to take us back here before goin' back to DC. Sniper came before we got on. Shot her down. One bullet," He said simply.

Tony began to pace. "This is my fault,"

"Why is that, DiNozzo? Why were you lookin' for Connors? Who are you working for?"

Tony sighed and stopped pacing. "I've been undercover for OSP for a month and a half now,"

"You quit," Gibbs said.

"Which made me the perfect candidate for an undercover op. They needed someone who knew the ropes but was unattached. I fit,"

"You still part of NCIS?"

"Not officially," Tony said. "Connors was a contract-killer. He shot down at least a dozen people in the last four months. Always got away before anyone could get to him,"

"What was his connection to Ziva?"

Tony rubbed his face with one hand. "Elijah hired him. Three months ago. Said if he died before Ziva did to take her out,"

"Why'd he wait two months?"

"He has a long list of living clients,"

"Ah," Gibbs said. "Elijah was dying," He said.

"What do you mean? He was dying before he got shot?"

"Cocaine overdose. Wasn't a user,"

"So how'd he get it in his system?"

"Elijah had a bad case of migraines. Took pills a few times a day. An old enemy replaced the regular pills with ones dosed with cocaine,"

"Wouldn't he have died sooner?"

"The amounts weren't large, but it was enough to kill him slowly as long as he kept takin' 'em. The stress sped it up, but the bullet got to him first,"

"This 'old enemy'… He didn't have any connection to Ziva? No one else we know?"

"Nope. He's doin' time now,"

"Good," Tony said.

Gibbs nodded. He glanced back at Ziva's room. Doctors were swarming inside, discussing this and that in Spanish.

"Is she gonna be okay?" Tony finally said.

"She lost a lot of blood. Took her to the hospital onboard. By the time we got her on MedEvac, she had lost too much,"

"Is she gonna pull through?"

"She's always been strong. Until recently, anyway," Gibbs said. "Hasn't been getting much sleep. Distracted. Confused,"

"It's my fault,"

"Yeah, it is, DiNozzo,"

"Yeah. Thanks,"

"You know better than to expect me to lie to you. She lost her partner,"

"For the last time, I'm not dead,"

"That's not what I meant," Tony looked over at Gibbs. "You gave up on her. She needed you and you gave up,"

"I didn't want to," He said quietly.

"The woman loved you. How do you think that made her feel?"

"She didn't love me, Boss. That much I know," Tony looked down.

"You don't know crap,"

"Did she tell you?"

"She didn't need to. She's nearly died four times because of you,"

"She was only doing her job. And I only counted three,"

"The time she thought you were dead nearly killed her,"

A pang of guilt shot through Tony, only adding to the burden he had been carrying for months. Tony slumped down to the floor.

"You're right," Tony whispered. "She was right," He couldn't lose her.

"Yeah. I know," Gibbs said. Tony smirked, but then it faded as he closed his eyes in frustration and pain.

"I can't do this, Boss," Tony said. "Why do we always hurt the ones we love most?" He said softly. His voice was barely audible.

"You love her, DiNozzo?" Gibbs asked, though he already knew the answer.

Tony smiled and chuckled a little. "Yeah. I think I do. Didn't know 'till last summer when I was an agent afloat,"

"Then why didn't you call?" Gibbs asked, his eyes raging. "Yeah, I know about that too,"

"Figured I'd never see her again. And even if I did, I figured she wouldn't care. Regretted it the second I saw her though, with you, here in Cartenaga," He smiled at the memory, and at his foolishness.

"She was your partner,"

"And she was obviously busy,"

"Morocco," Gibbs remembered.

"And Rivkin,"

"Still, ya didn't know,"

"My gut," Tony explained. He ran a hand through his hair. "And when I did find out about Rivkin… Just thought any chance there may have been was gone,"

"You made a few stupid moves this past year,"

"I know," Tony said, his fingers linked around his knees casually. "You think she'll ever forgive me?"

Gibbs shrugged and then got up. "I'm headin' out for coffee," Tony nodded without looking up. "And DiNozzo: remember what your CO taught you."

Tony sat beside her bed all night. For hours she slept in a medically-induced coma, not stirring, not moving. And neither did her. He couldn't fall asleep. It wasn't that he was in an extremely uncomfortable folding chair and he had taken a fourteen hour flight from Los Angeles to Caternaega. It was knowing how much he hurt her, and how close he had come to losing her.

The doctors had said they wouldn't know how she was actually doing until she woke up, and this didn't help to comfort him at all. The weight of an airplane pushed his shoulders down, but his eyes wouldn't leave her face. It was still, almost peaceful. But it was missing something. Ziva looked as if she was missing a part of her; like she didn't want to wake up at all.

The next morning, Ziva's eyes finally opened. Gibbs was off aboard the Seahawk, yelling at Eli no doubt.

She turned her head to look at him. "Hey," He said weakly. Her eyes were full of hurt.

"Tony,"

"Hey," He said again, unable to think of anything else to say.

"Why are you here?" She asked quietly.

"My partner got shot,"

"I am not your partner,"

"But you're mine," She winced slightly in pain, both physical and emotional.

"I'm so sorry. This is my fault," His voice was about to break. Tears stung his eyes once again and he quickly wiped them away.

"Is it," Her tone was that of a statement, rather than a question.

"Yeah. I… I was undercover for OSP, unofficially. I was supposed to be looking for the guy that… the sniper,"

"Why did he want me dead?"

"Elijah's back up plan,"

She nodded a little. She couldn't look at him again. She could barely say a word. "Where is Gibbs?"

"Coffee. McGee too," He explained.

"Ah," Her voice was audible now, and she tried to sit up.

"You shouldn't do that," He said, standing and gently pushing her down, careful to only touch her good shoulder. He poured her a cup of water and she took it tentatively.

"I will be fine, yes? I will be able to go in the field again?"

"I dunno. Doctor should be in. I'll go find him," He walked towards the door.

"Tony," She said suddenly as he opened the door.

"Yeah?"

She didn't say a word. She didn't know what to say. For a moment they shared a small gaze, like the way they used to. He gave the smallest inkling of a nod, and left the room.

Ziva sat in her bed. There was so much she wanted to say to him. She wanted to yell at him. Scream at him. Hit him. Shoot him… Touch him. Cry on his shoulder and then hit him again. The man was so… so complicated. She hated that word. But it was true.