Chapter 25: Confessions, and Very, Very Poor Choices
Fareeha was just waking up when I began to stop outside her house. I remembered her speaking about something she wanted to grab before we went out too far. As we arrived, I sighed, leaning back in my seat, taking a quick glance at the house. It was fairly nice, a one story building, but a good exterior. Fareeha took a deep breath, and exited the car, ascending the steps towards her front door. While she was busy unlocking the door, I placed my head on the wheel for a moment, exhausted. I'd been driving this entire night, and I was fairly surprised we hadn't gotten into a crash with how many times I nodded off. Exhaling, I reached for my hat, and placed it on my head, taking a look at myself in the rear view mirror.
I looked like shit. I felt like shit. What was I doing? I should be back with the others. I should knock some sense into Fareeha. This isn't a good life. She needs to know that. Ana had already tried desperately to expose her to the harsh realities of being an Overwatch agent, but Fareeha is just as stubborn as me. If not even more stubborn. I haven't decided on whether or not I even support this decision, yet here I am, driving her from place to place, letting her get whatever she needed to out of her system.
Exiting the car, I followed Fareeha inside, taking a few steps towards the kitchen counter, letting Fareeha head off into another direction near an office of some sorts. I listened to her rummage through drawers, hearing her place things into her bag, zipping it back up. Waiting for a bit, I tapped my foot, trying to stay patient. After all, this might be the last time she's ever going to be in here. That's if I don't convince her not to do this. Ana is gonna kill me when I get back.
Noticing the silence coming from her, I headed towards her. I found her staring at a photo, amidst a very organized office with papers tucked neatly away, and medals and pictures of her mother and her. Looking at the photo, I noticed it was taken around a year and half ago, when I was still getting used to Overwatch. Ana had her arm around Fareeha, as they smiled, with Reinhardt and Torbjorn laughing in the back. Jack, Gabriel and Angela all smiled, standing to the left of her, while Jesse and I stood to her right. I looked slightly out of place, confused. I wasn't used to parties, especially a Halloween party. The place was decorated in all sorts of colors and pumpkins, lights adorned above us. Gabriel wore a surprisingly well put together costume, holding a pumpkin under his arm, which he wore on his head. I wore my regular gear, having completely forgotten about the whole event. Ana dressed up as a pirate, with a blue bandana, her brown eyes filled to the brim with joy. Reinhardt was a sailor of some sorts, a hat covering his white hair. Torbjorn was a viking, his long blonde beard in a braid, along with a helmet with two horns on top of his head. McCree was dressed as Van Helsing, even wearing a crossbow on his back, along with decorating his usual gear. Angela had a witch outfit, her hat hanging loosely off her head. Jack was a daredevil, his long flowing cape and American colors contrasting with his bright, perfect smile. Fareeha wore gray makeup on her face to seem like she was dead, though her dark skin was difficult to make pale.
A grin came to my lips as I thought of the party. It was good. I could remember us all huddled around a table as Reinhardt told us the tale of Dr. Junkenstien. What I wouldn't give to go back to those days. They were simpler times. No one wanted me for Overwatch. No past lives coming back to haunt me. No near death experiences. No heartbreak. Only family.
'Maybe one day, it'll be like that again.' I thought to myself.
"Hey, you alright?" I asked, and she looked up at me, snapping from the trance she was in. "Y-yeah, yeah. Sorry, spaced out." She apologized, and I shook my head. "Ya ain't got nothing to be sorry for. Take your time. I'll wait." I assured Fareeha, and she nodded. "Thanks Nathan, but I'm fine, seriously." She replied, though she didn't convince me. I could still tell she was bottling her emotions back up.
Smirking, I placed a hand behind a bottle that sat on the edge of the desk. Everything was so organized, and I couldn't help but feel the urge to mess things up. Whistling innocently, I slipped my hand back, knocking the bottle to the floor, as it shattered. Fareeha looked up at me, the same mischievous smirk decorating her lips, as she seemed to read my mind. Her hand grabbed the stack of papers, flinging them off the desk, as they plummeted to the ground, surrounding us in white papers. I took that as a challenge, grabbing the chair, throwing it against a wall, causing a loud thud, a new hole in the wall.
Fareeha rushed to the coat hanger, swinging it like a baseball bat, knocking everything in sight down, as she giggled in merry fashion, releasing her emotions. I smiled, the plan to cheer her up working, as I laughed, taking a bookshelf and pushing it down, the books colliding with the ground in spectacular fashion.
We began to destroy everything in sight, the destruction helping us both release some of the tension in ourselves, setting our bodies free. Flipping over furniture, cracking computer monitors, shredding papers, throwing glass against the walls, anything we could get our hands on. It didn't matter what it was. I surprisingly enjoyed it, as we laughed together, the entire experience containing a whimsical nature, despite how destructive it truly was. Fareeha seemed glad to do this, as if that's all she'd been wanting to do since she bought the place.
As we finished, she threw the final lamp on the floor, breaking it. We laughed hysterically, as she smiled, hugging me, relying on me to support her body as she giggled, wiping the tears of joy away on my shirt. I placed my hand on her back, looking at everything. I pitied whoever had to clean it up. "Oh I always wanted to do that!" She exclaimed between fits of laughter, as I smiled down on her.
"Feel better?" I asked, and she nodded, punching my shoulder playfully. "Much. C'mon, let's get going." She said, stepping over the remains of a desk, slinging her bag over her shoulder, and opening the door. Fareeha took one last look at the place, before smiling, leaving the place behind without another word, heading for the car.
I took a step forward to follow, hearing the crunch of glass underneath my foot, as I stopped, looking down, catching a glimpse of the paper under my boot. Moving my foot, I bent down to pick it up, reading the message. "Justice rains from above!" It read, as I flipped it over, looking at the photo. Ana was holding Fareeha, who couldn't have been more than five or six, holding her up in the air, as Fareeha spread her arms like the wings of a bird. I smiled, looking at the two laughing together. It reminded me of my mother.
Shaking the feeling off, I placed the photo in my pocket, heading to the car, as Fareeha honked the horn for me to hurry.
Angela's POV
It has been an entire day since Nathan disappeared with Fareeha, and Captain Amari hasn't ever been more worried. I suppose Nathan wasn't really the most trustworthy person, but I trusted him, though I can't exactly say why. He's always been good with Fareeha, and gotten a lot more responsible recently. A part of me feels like he's trying to turn his situation around.
I was also trying to turn his situation around. I had already met with Gabriel and Jack about letting him into Overwatch, and they insisted he could join, but he has to get permission from the higher ups, and people such as Mr. Petras. He'd have his work cut out for him in order to convince him to let him back in. Nathan didn't exactly act well in front of Mr. Petras during Jacob and Jamie's funeral.
Jack spoke with a few of them about Nathan's case, and put in a good word for him. Though he told me he was uncertain if it had any affect on them. Nathan was well trained, battle hardened, brave, heroic at times, and willing to put his life on the line to save others. Everything Overwatch was looking for in someone. But he also has shown a clear lack of self control at times, alcoholism, signs of depression and post traumatic stress disorder, and was a former gang member, responsible for the deaths of many. Quitting Blackwatch only made it more of an uphill battle.
Sighing, I heard a knock at my door, and I called out as usual. "Come in!" The door soon opened, revealing Jack and Gabriel, as they entered. Jack lacked his usual charming grin, and Gabriel looked even more frustrated than usual, his brows furrowed. This couldn't be good.
Both of them took a seat in front of my desk, as I focused my attention towards the two commanding officers. "Angela, we've got good news and bad news." Jack began, and I frowned, though curious. "Good news first." I replied, and Jack nodded. "Well, we spoke with Mr. Petras, and we convinced him to give Nathan another chance. He'll be able to speak with the higher ups and testify on his behalf on why he should be in Overwatch."
I smiled, my eyes widening. "That's great!" I exclaimed, though they lacked the same enthusiasm. "The catch is," Gabriel began, adjusting his regular beanie he wore. "The trial is in two days. And with Nathan disappearing off with Fareeha, it's more and more likely he'll miss the date. He's completely unaware of this. I doubt wherever he is he can just leave too, so in other words, we're fucked." Gabriel admitted, a look of defeat in his eyes as he thought about the situation.
"Well can't we try and reschedule?" I asked, and they shook their heads. "No. And even if we could, would that look very good for Nathan? Mr. Petras and the others aren't a forgiving bunch, and he's already pushed his luck. It's a wonder he wasn't fired in the first place." Jack explained, and I placed my head in my hands, annoyed.
"Well we can't just sit here and wait! We should go get him back!" I retorted, and Gabriel snorted. "Good luck. He's already so far away, we won't get him back in time. And with how stubborn the kid is, he'll probably stay with Fareeha for whatever the hell they're doing."
Thinking about the situation, I looked in silence at the two men for a moment, contemplating what I could do. There wasn't much. I could locate him using his phone, but even with a tracker he's already got such a head start I may not reach him in time. I could try and text him, but I know for a fact he won't just turn around. Nothing can ever be simple, can it?
"I'll go." I stated, and they both stared. "Angela, there's no way you'll reach him in time. Besides-"
"I'll go." I repeated, cutting Jack off. Gabriel leaned forward, eyeing me curiously. "If you think you can get him, be my guest. Just be glad you don't have to be the one to explain his absence." Gabriel muttered, and I shook my head, looking at him in disbelief. He gave up much too easily.
"It won't come to that, I promise. We'll arrive on time. There is no way we're letting him miss this shot. Since when have you two been one to give up so easily? I expected better." I said, and Jack began to speak, but I quickly silenced him, the authority now resting with me, despite our ranks.
"We're getting Nathan into Overwatch. We've beaten slimmer odds, and we'll overcome this problem. Nathan deserves to be in Overwatch. He isn't meant to be stuck in Blackwatch. He's a natural born leader, with the skills we desire. Nathan never gave up on you both, so please, return the favor." I spoke confidently, as they smiled, looking up at me as I stood from my desk. "Well alright. Good luck, Dr. Ziegler." Jack said, and I nodded.
"Now if you'll excuse me, I have to catch up to Nathan."
Nathan's POV
"Reinhardt always made this look so easy." Fareeha muttered, taking another drink, nearly stumbling off of the stool she was on. I grinned, feeling properly shit faced myself, as I sipped the straight vodka in my glass. I was three quarters down the bottle, already barely able to walk.
"That's cause he's a rather..." I stopped, hiccuping. "Large...man..." I slurred, struggling with finishing the sentence, losing track of what I was saying. My entire body felt warm, my hands feeling fuzzy. I laughed, feeling completely delirious. I hadn't got this drunk in a while. The bartender here was kind enough to let me treat Fareeha to a drink, which was going well. I'd never seen the girl drunk. Hell it might be her first time. She giggled about something, swirling the ice in her beer around in the glass. I made sure she didn't take anything too strong. I didn't want her going to sleep on me.
This was just how most of my pursuits went. Though I was usually alone, and a lot more depressed than I am now. But I suppose confusion about what I'm gonna do with my life is just as good a reason as any to get drunk. Fareeha on the other hand seemed determined to become a soldier, and although I dropped quite a few hints about going back to her mother, she always refused. The girl really was stubborn. For now, I agreed to take her drinking, as she admitted she always wanted to have a drink with me. After all, this was to help her do everything she ever wanted to do before she goes and joins the army.
Frowning, I felt my phone go off in my pocket, looking down at it, seeing that Angela was trying to reach me. I hesitated, but decided I better answer. It might be important. "Howdy darlin'." I greeted, and I heard her sigh. "Well I can tell you took her to a bar." She muttered, referring to how I slurred my words, and I chuckled. "You'd be right. The gal wanted a few rounds." I explained, and she paused, before I heard her voice on the other end again. "Would you both mind staying put? I'm on my way to you." Angela asked, and I grinned.
"Didn't expect you to be so straight forward. I'll be back in a few days. We can uh... catch up then." I replied, and she scoffed. "Trust me, you're not that good." She teased, and I shrugged. "Ya seemed satisfied."
"Well...that's besides the point. Stay put. You need to come back to base, now." She added. "Why?" I asked.
"You're expected back at base in two days. Your trial that decides whether or not you can join Overwatch is soon. If you're not there, you can kiss your chances goodbye. Mr. Petras is not the forgiving type. We need you there so we can testify on your behalf."
"Mr. Petras can kiss my ass." I replied, hearing Fareeha laugh at that. "Never liked the man anyways." I said, and Angela sighed. "This isn't about your petty grudge against Overwatch's higher ups. This is about your future!" She snapped, and I paused.
If I'm being honest with myself, I don't know what I want to do. That's why I'm here with Fareeha. I have no clue what I'm gonna do with my life. I don't have some big idea, or reason to dole out justice. But a part of me likes wandering. I'm not really trying to find something to get behind in life. I'm not lost. I just like traveling, living my life. What chances do I even have to join Overwatch in the first place?
"Let's face it Angie, I ain't got a future. I'm a lost cause. The sooner you accept that, the better." I answered finally. "So that's it? You'll just throw this chance away like all the others? Look, if you wanna blow every single chance that comes your way, fine. Just don't come crawling back to me when you realize how much wasted potential you have."
"Angela, you're making a huge mistake. Overwatch isn't for me." I stated, seeing Fareeha frown at me, saddened by that.
"How huge? What like blowing this great opportunity you have? Like getting drunk every night? Like being kicked out of Blackwatch? Like ruining your whole life? Huh, that huge?!"
I stopped, my face reddening, a familiar sting of embarrassment and hurt hitting me. How could she say that? That's how she truly felt about me? I thought maybe she could understand. But no. None of them do. Not her, not Jesse, not Ana, not Gabriel, nobody. Nobody understands me.
I heard Angela's breathing hitch, like she regretted what she said. I could tell she wanted to apologize. "I-" I quickly hung up, interrupting her before she could speak. I had heard everything I needed to. All of a sudden, I didn't feel drunk. I felt perfectly aware of the pain I felt, as I reached for my bottle of vodka, ignoring the concerned looks I got from Fareeha.
"You alright?" She asked, seeming completely sober. I nodded, keeping the bitter hatred I felt bottled up inside. I won't snap at her. She's not responsible for that.
I soon found myself engraving my name into the counter with the edge of my knife, in the middle of finishing up the final "n" in my name when I noticed Fareeha trying to ignore a man who had approached her at the counter. I watched, eyes analyzing every single movement the man made. I was just waiting for the signal, raring to go. "I'm fine, thanks for the offer." I overheard her decline the man's offer, his brown eyes meeting Fareeha's.
He leaned in, and I noticed Fareeha clench up her fists. She was ready for a fight. "Aww come on, lemme buy you a drink." The man offered, his hand sliding towards Fareeha's, as she quickly withdrew her hand back. "Hey. The lady said no. Walk away." I stared him down, grip on my knife tightening. He snickered.
"What are you gonna do old man?" He laughed, looking at Fareeha. "What is he your father?" He asked, and I was starting to hate that shit eating grin more and more by the second. I stood up, others in the bar noticing. A few in the corner behind me rose from their seats, probably with the other man. I prepared for a fight.
"You could learn a thing or two about respect. Perhaps I should teach you a lesson." I cracked my knuckles. He stepped towards me. "I suggest you sit down, before you get hurt." I looked down at Fareeha, who winked at me. I smiled, watching as she slammed her glass into the side of his head, shards of glass and beer flying everywhere. He held his head in surprise, as I charged, slamming him into the wall behind him.
He yelled in pain as I gripped his shirt and slammed him back into the wall. He attempted to punch me, but I sidestepped it, placing one arm behind his elbow, the other pushing his forearm back, breaking his elbow quickly. I smirked as he held it in pain, as I broke his nose with a swift jab, before sweeping his legs out from under him. I could hear Fareeha taking care of a few others behind me.
I felt arms wrap around my waist, as someone attempted to slam me into the floor. I elbowed him, then stomping on his foot, forcing him to release his grip in response, before cracking him in the back of the head with a stool. He slumped over quickly.
Fareeha was busy slamming one man's head into a table repeatedly, not noticing the man running at her from behind. I quickly kicked a chair down in front of her, causing the man to trip, stumbling into the wall beside her. I watched, allowing Fareeha to knock the man out. We both smiled, looking at the carnage around us. I laughed, hugging her tightly. "That's my girl." She giggled in return, as I patted her back softly.
Feeling bad about the property damage, I withdrew three to four hundred dollars in cash, slamming it on the counter. "For your trouble." I offered a warm grin to the bartender, as we left the bar, arms around one another, leaning on the other as we stumbled back towards our car.
Stopping, I chuckled as Fareeha giggled in excitement. "Ah that was so fun! I can't believe we actually did that! Thank you so much!" Fareeha said gratefully, and I nodded. "No problem. Just, answer me one question." I replied, and she nodded. "Sure."
"Do I really look that old?" I asked, feeling concerned about my looks. I wasn't aging that bad was I? I mean I have been pretty stressed lately. It didn't help as Fareeha only laughed in response, and I suddenly felt very self conscious about my looks. I followed her, desperate for an answer.
"Is it the beard?!"