In order to ensure that everything would go smoothly, Jeff did two things. First he told Adam, Matt and Chris that they should not all kill each other so they could get the ultimate revenge on Mr. Shannon Brian Moore by getting him into a dress. The second thing he did was that he went ahead and scheduled the weddings to take place as soon as he possibly could. He knew very well that the longer they put the things off, the greater the chance that there would be a horrible ax murder before the ceremonies could take place. And the last he checked, ax murders were bad. There was just blood and guts and brains and death. It was all too gruesome for his taste.

"So who is getting married first?" Adam asked. He, Jeff, Chris, Matt and Gil were all sitting at the kitchen table, trying to get everything sorted out. The weddings were in just two days and things were getting chaotic. "I mean, the weddings can't go on concurrently. I don't need Matticho over here stealing Jeff and mine's thunder with their unholy matrimony."

Chris frowned. "Matticho?"

"Yeah, I found a name for you two on line. Isn't it awesome?"

"You are a freak," Matt declared. "But you do have a point. And I think Chris and I should get married first because we are awesome like that."

Jeff pouted. He wasn't really on board with that idea. "But Matt, I want Adam and I to go first so we can go have sex immediately afterwards."

Gil shook his head. "I could have gone without hearing that."

"Jeff, you can't go have sex right afterwards," Matt protested. "You're supposed to be my best man. You have to stick around for mine."

"But can't we take like a twenty minute intermission?" Jeff asked.

Chris groaned. "Dude, I just want to get this whole thing over with as soon as possible. Let's just do the ceremonies back to back and then we can get the reception over with and then you two can go fuck while Matt and I make sweet, passionate love."

"Hey, Jeff and I are perfectly capable of making love," Adam pointed out. "We do not just fuck."

"Although fucking is more fun," Jeff said. "I think fucking hard and fast shows a lot of love because you're giving it to your partner right then and there and not being a little pussy about it."

"Wow, I really wish you would stop talking about this," Gil said. "This conversation is starting to make me feel uncomfortable."

Adam patted the Legend on the shoulder. "Legend, you need to be able to talk to us about sex stuff. Jeff and I are very sexual people. If you want to be a prude, then talk to Matt. He's the kind of person who represses that stuff."

"I am not a prude!" Matt protested. "Just because I don't grunt and moan like a fucking dying llama when I fuck Chris does not mean that I am a prude!"

"I do not sound like a dying llama!" Adam exclaimed.

Jeff leaned over towards Chris. "Wait, what does a dying llama sound like?"

Chris shrugged. "Don't ask me. I doubt even Matt knows. I think he's just babbling bullshit to get Adam riled up."

"You know what? Don't bring up llamas just to hide the fact that you are a grade A prude!" Adam said. He pointed his finger at Matt like he was scolding a small child.

"I am not a prude!" Matt yelled again. "I will prove that to you right here and now!" He got out of his chair and took his shirt off. "Prude my fucking ass. I'll fucking show you that you're the real prude here." He started undoing his pants.

"What the hell are you doing?" Jeff said in complete disbelief.

"I'm getting naked!" Matt replied. "That's what I'm doing."

"Oh, like that's going to prove anything!" Adam replied. He also got to his feet. "I can fucking get naked too!" Just to prove his point, he started taking off his clothes too.

"Oh my God," Chris said in disbelief. He looked like his eyes were about to pop out of his head. "Is this what this rivalry has come to? How is a nude stand off going to solve anything?"

"Who cares about solving anything?" Jeff replied. He watched the spectacle in front of him with complete awe and fascination. "I'm just going to enjoy the show."

Gil sighed and started to vacate the room. "I am not watching this," he muttered. "This is more than I want to see."

Pretty soon both Matt and Adam were completely naked and glaring at each other. Jeff almost wanted to go make some popcorn so he could have something to munch on while he watched this, but he was afraid to take his eyes off of this even for a second. "Is it wrong that I kind of want them to kiss?" he whispered to Chris.

Chris shook his head. "I kind of want them to do that too. I think it would solve a lot of problems." He got a very serious look on his face. "But I think we would need to be involved in the whole thing. We can't get left out of the sex."

"You have read my mind good man." Jeff high fived Chris. "Whoever calls you dumb can go straight to hell. In my book, you are a smart man." He looked up and saw Adam and Matt glaring at them. "What?" he said innocently. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Guys, this is really not a good time to be going in there," Gil said.

"Why not?" Shannon asked. "Hunter said I had to tell them now and besides, they have company."

The door opened to the kitchen and Shannon, Shane, Ashley and Amy all walked into the room. Why two of Matt's ex-girlfriends were currently there, Jeff did not know. He just knew that Matt could not have turned any redder if he tried.

"Oh my God!" Shane exclaimed. "What the hell is going on?"

"Why are you two naked?" Shannon asked.

Amy just shook her head. "I think the real question is why aren't Chris and Jeff naked?"

Ashley nodded. "I agree."

"Dad!" Matt yelled. He jumped behind Adam to hide himself. "Why did you let them in here?"

"Dude, do not stand behind me!" Adam yelled. He jumped away from Matt like he had a disease or something. "Your dick is out and my ass is vulnerable. That is just not happening."

"I wasn't going to do anything you mook."

"Did you just call me a mook? What the hell is a mook?"

"It's you!"

"Guys, be nice!" Jeff begged. "I need Shannon in a dress to brighten my wedding day!"

"What?" Shannon yelled. "Jeff, what the hell?"

"Is this the wrong time to announce that Hunter is making almost everyone who ever knew you guys come down here for a big ass bachelor party?" Ashley said.

Chris groaned. "Hunter is throwing us a party? Oh great. We're either going to end up in jail or we're going to witness a donkey show go horribly, horribly wrong?"

Jeff looked at Chris in confusion. "What?"

Chris shook his head. "Trust me, you're better off not knowing."

"Okay, whatever," Jeff said. He got up to search for the popcorn. If he and Chris weren't going to have a foursome with Adam and Matt, he might as well get a snack.