Shocked and hurt I started to cry on the couch.

Ari really believed that I wanted Eli to rape me. Ari really believed that I wanted to cheat on him. Damn that bastard! Could he not see what was right in front of him? I love him! Why can't he see that? Why couldn't he see that I didn't want to be raped by Eli?

"Why?" I whispered to myself. Why didn't he see that? And why couldn't he see he was scaring the hell out of me? "I hate you!" I screamed to the air. "I hate you Ari!" I yelled and put my face in my hands.

Tears came down my cheeks and fell to the floor. Angrily I stomped up and went to the kitchen. "Little bastard offspring of a whore." I muttered to myself as I yanked out a wine glass and a bottle of white wine.

I popped the cork off and poured myself a glass. I was just about to put the glass to my lips when I froze. 'Wait, I'm pregnant! I can't drink! Fuck why did that little horny, clingy, bastard have to get me pregnant!' I thought as I threw the glass of wine.

It shattered on the floor by my feet.

"Stupid little mother fricken son of a mother whore! Knocked me up and accused me of wanting to have sex with his father! Uh!"

I screamed and shouted as I cried. I felt so angry and sad. I ran past the glass and into the bedroom. I locked the door behind me and cried on the floor. "It's not fair!" I sobbed. I laid on the floor and prayed for sleep to come as I continued to sob.

"Not fair!" I cried again as sleep took me.

I woke to feel someones knuckles gently stroking my shoulder. It felt warm and nice.

"Mmmhhmm?" I mumbled as I rolled over to see Ari leaning over me. He stopped stroking me and stared at me. "What?" I barked suddenly furious with him. "What do you want?" I demanded as I stood up to look him in the eye.

"Caitlin, bashert I want you to forgive me." He reached a hand out towards my cheek and tried to stroke it but I slapped his hand away in anger.

"Shut up you stupid bastard! You think you can come back after you break my heart and just expect me to forgive you? Stupid bastard! And stop using that stupid word! Bashet! I am not your soul mate and your not Jewish! Why are you using that term if your not Jewish, your a Muslim!" I screamed at him.

Th moment I said 'Your not my soul mate!' Ari had started to get tears in his eyes. Now they were coming down his face. Good. Now he knows what it's like to cry over someone you once loved.

I reached into my shirt and exposed the bullet necklace. Angrily I ripped it off my neck and threw it at him. It clanked against the wood floor and landed near his feet. "I hate you Haswari! I hate you for breaking my heart TWICE!"

As fast as I possibly could I turned and headed towards the bathroom. I locked the door behind me even though that little bastard would probably pick the lock.

For minutes I sat against the wall and thought about what I had just done. 'I meant it. I meant it.' I just kept saying that over and over in my head. Was it true?

(Flashback)

I'm fingering my bullet necklace after Ari had left again. I hate it when he leaves, I love him. I always want him to stay longer and I can never sleep after he leaves. He's all I can think about. A smile crept on my face as I went over to my dresser and took out my drawing book.

I turned the pages until I found my favorite one. A drawing of Ari and his smirk.

I sat back on the bed and stared at the drawing. I hope he's careful on his missions. Smiling I thought back to a few hours ago when he was about to leave I had yanked his arm back to where he face me and had given him a kiss.

Then I muttered into his lips to come back alive to me. He smile at me gently and kissed me back. "I will." Was what he said before he walked out the door.

I loved how he'd sneak into my apartment at night and surprise me with his visit. Every time he came he cooked, cleaned, and made me feel loved. It felt good when he did these things. He'd do all kinds of things with me I knew he never did with others. Some nights we'll sit on the couch and watched a movie, and I lay my head in his lap and he always strokes my hair somewhere in the middle or at the end of the movie...which is always a big distraction.

I smiled as I fell asleep with the drawing in my hand that night.

I opened my eyes and started crying. It hurt, all of it.

'I hate him. I'm not his soul mate.' I thought. But I couldn't take it anymore, I couldn't take lying to myself.

Thanks for the review! I'm kinda unsure about his chapter...will you guys please tell me what you think?