Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Clary
My hand shakes as I rapidly knock on the door of my old home. Almost as soon as my knuckles leave the wood, the apartment entrance swings open. My mom stands there with a shocked expression adorning her features. Then she rushes forward and pulls me in for a tight embrace.
I was never used to my parent's displays of affections. Usually I didn't get a smile, let alone a hug. It feels awkward to be in this position, but I push that weird feeling aside and focus on the moment.
"Clary!" I hear a male voice exclaim from behind my mom. I pull away from her and look over her shoulder. My father stands there looking completely astonished.
"Hi, mom. Hi, dad." The words taste foreign in my mouth. But I swallow the bitterness and do my best to sound excited, or at least a little bit happy.
As both of my parents engulf me into yet another hug, I'm only thinking about one thing.
I miss Jace.
Was what I did right? Should I have left him on his own like that? What if he hurts himself? Or goes out and does something else incredibly stupid?
There's a part of me that wants to pull away from my parents, flip them off, grab my suitcase and run back to Jace. The weak part of me is begging me to let go of all logic and reasoning and just go get what I want.
But the other part of me is saying that this is the best for him. And for me. I don't want him to hurt me, and it's apparent that I can't handle his anger. He has Izzy, Alec, and even Simon to help him through this rough time. As soon as the big problems are taken care of, then I can run back to him.
So I throw all thoughts of Jace out of the way, and focus on the happy exclamations of my parents. My dad takes my suitcase out of my hands and sets it inside. My mom ushers me through the doorway while yapping about something. I'm not really paying attention.
I look around the apartment that I've been away from for almost two months. It doesn't look too different, but something seems kind of... off. My brows furrow as I look around, trying to place exactly what's wrong.
Then my mom opens her mouth and hollers, "Jonathon! You're sister's back!"
Cold shivers are sent up my spine. I do another look around at the apartment, and piece the clues together.
The stack of dishes by the sink is more than two people need. And my parents are complete neat freaks, so it's not like they forgot to do them. The futon in the living room seems to have become a permanent bed. The coat closet is slightly ajar, and I can see that it's turned into my brother's clothing closet.
I whirl around when I hear the sound of a door opening. I watch Jonathon emerge from my room- my room- and join us in the living room. There's a cold expression on his face, but it's quickly replaced my one of fake relief.
"'Oh, Clary!" he gasps, rushing forward. His arms wrap around me, a little too harshly to be considered a hug. I refuse to respond, and try not to wince. He pulls back and looks over me.
"I'm so glad you're okay!" Jonathon says, an underline of danger in his tone. "I was beginning to worry. Didn't want you to be gone too long, right?"
I don't glare at him, but I keep my face neutral and stone cold. Needing to show him that he doesn't get to me, I simply nod my head and turn around. I retrieve my suitcase from a corner of the living room, and start to head towards my room.
"I think we'll go out tonight!" I hear my mother exclaim. "As celebration for our family being whole again!"
Slamming the door open to my room, and quickly step inside and shut it just as harshly.
"It was never whole in the first place," I mutter, flopping onto the bed.
Maybe this wasn't the greatest idea.
-Superheroes-
After almost ten minutes of mild arguing with my parents, I was able to get family dinner night postponed to this Saturday. Today is Thursday and Magnus wants me working late tonight.
So that's what brought me here, standing in front of my mirror in my bartending uniform. I quickly throw my hair into a messy bun and carelessly apply makeup. Then I grab my bag, and go to exit my room. I fling the door open, and I'm completely taken by surprise to see my brother standing there with a wicked grin on his face.
"What," I hiss through clenched teeth. The bastard just chuckles and leans up against the door frame, blocking any escape route.
"You know," he says thoughtfully, "I was truly surprised that the only person you could find to hook up with is my mortal enemy."
My blood turns to ice. My fists clench and I stumble back a little bit.
"Wh-what are you talking about?" I stammer. His smirk is evil.
"I've got ears, Clarissa," is my only answer.
I try to calm my heart rate. I swallow, and bravely shoot Jonathon a pointed look.
"Well if you don't mind, I have a job to get to so-"
I try to slip around him, but his large hand grips my forearm. I wince at the pressure applied and try to pull out of his grasp.
"Let's not forget who's in charge here," Jonathon snarls.
He releases my arm, only to deliver a backhand across my face. Gasping, I stumble back. Cradling my cheek in my hand, I keep my eyes on the floor. I hear my brother laugh devilishly, than shortly after I hear him slam the front door.
Quickly, I scramble back into my room and grab my concealer. The mark on my face is bright red, and I do my best to cover the bruise that hasn't formed yet.
I struggle to hold back the tears that are threatening to spill over. I've been reunited with my family for a couple hours, and the abuse has already started.
The pain I feel is quickly replaced by rage. I throw down my makeup, grab my bag, and practically run out of the apartment. Stumbling down the stairs, I long for fresh air. But even when I jump onto the Manhattan sidewalk, it still feels like I'm suffocating.
"I need to get out of this place," I say to no one.
After checking the time, I realize I'm going to be late if I don't hurry up. Running through the uneven and crowded city streets in high heels is something I'm too used to. Luckily most people see a desperate, short, red headed girl ready to mow anyone down in her path, and they get out of the way. Those who don't, well, let's just say I never stop to apologize.
Breathing heavily, I finally arrive at my destination. I quickly flash the bouncer my employee ID card and run into the club.
Damn, it's crowded.
Pandemonium does half priced Thursdays, so it's one of the worst days to work late. So many people go in and out, most of the time I don't get to sit down until my shift is completely over.
With that happy thought, I make my way to my side of the bar, throw my bag down, and get to work.
Strobe lights flash, music blares, people laugh, but the only thing I have focus on right now is doing my job. Unfortunately, this proves harder than it sounds. Because there are so many memories here.
My eyes wander to the dance floor. They linger on the spot where Jace beat up that dick of celebrity who was creeping me out. Even though at the time it was a little too much to handle, I was still touched that he would defend my honor like that.
Snapping back to the present, I scramble to grab the right liquor to make this girl's Sex on the Beach.
Mmmmm... that's what I need right now.
As I make her drink, I remember a conversation that Jace and I had shortly after getting into our relationship.
"So when are we gonna... ya know," the golden man asks, wiggling his eyebrows. At first I'm confused, but I quickly understand. My cheeks start to burn and I hug my arms to my body, completely embarrassed.
"What?" he teases. I giggle, lowering my head so my curls cover my face. Jace reaches out and brushes them behind my ear. He tilts my head up. I'm met with his shining eyes. Jace observes my grinning face, and lets go of my jaw.
"I'm so confused," he states. And that sends me over the edge. I start cracking up. Laughing so hard, that my sides hurt and I almost roll off the bed we're stationed on. Soon, Jace joins in with my ridiculous laughter.
"You wanna have... sex," I'm laughing so hard I can barely get the word out. "With me? Are you crazy?"
Jace's laughter quickly dies. I calm myself, confused of why he stopped. I look up and see an almost angry expression on his face.
"Why are you so surprised?" he says softly. I cock my head to the side and give him a questioning look.
"Well, I mean," I stumble on my words, "I guess I've just never been good enough, you know? And doing 'the deed'," I wiggle my eyebrows at the word, getting a smile out of Jace, "is kind of like perfect love, you know?"
He's quiet, as if thinking about something.
"That's how you view it?" he asks. Not scared or embarrassed any more, I solemnly nod my head.
"Yeah, why?"
His expression is almost pained. Jace's mouth opens, as if he's going to tell me something, but he closes it and shakes his head.
"No. I don't want to talk about it," he mutters.
Grabbing his hand, I squeeze it gently and look into his golden eyes. "Jace, I told you before. You can tell me anything. I promise I won't run away, or hide under the bed. Okay?"
A couple moments later, he sighs. "It's just that... I've never really seen it as an emotional thing. Only physical. A distraction. A way to pass time. It was never an act of love, more like one of personal gain."
His gaze breaks away from mine, and an ashamed expression is on his face. I reach out and turn his face so I can look him in the eyes.
"But you're with me now," I say. "And I'm with you. This is probably the most emotional thing I've done in my life."
Lost in memory, I fill up the glass too far on accident. After a quick rude remark from the girl I'm serving, I hand her the drink and set off to my next thirsty customer.
Throughout my next hours of work, my mind stays on that conversation. Jace's words almost fascinate me now. A way of distraction. To take up time in the day. To get rid of the pain. The pain...
The throbbing on my cheek I haven't noticed until now hurts like a bitch. And now all I want is that pain to disappear.
I get what Jace was saying. About how focusing on other things rather than your own problems makes them easier to deal with. So I decide to work my ass off tonight, maybe get a few more tips than usual. That will hopefully get rid of the pain that my brother has caused.
People filter in and out. I barely notice who I'm talking to anymore. Thankfully it's too loud to create any small talk with the people I see. Since it's so crowded tonight, it's all hands on deck. I'm not serving people that I know today.
"Oh my God! You're Jace's girlfriend!" I hear a male voice exclaim loudly. My head immediately snaps up to meet a familiar face.
"Will!" I greet. Glancing around, I notice that at the moment the bar isn't too busy. I set down my towel and send a friendly smile.
"Nice to see you again, Clary," he says. "I'd like to introduce you to my lovely lady, Tessa."
For the first time I notice the pretty and delicate tall brunette. Her face is kind and youthful, but she's older than me by a few years. Her calm and quiet demeaner doesn't seem to fit Will's boisterous personality. But even after only seeing them for a few moments, I can tell that these two people are really in love.
Tessa disconnects her hand from Will's and holds it out to me. "It's very nice to meet you, Clary!"
I can't help but return her warm smile.
"So," I smile brightly, "can I get you anything?"
I start making the strawberry daiquiri and the rusty nail they both ordered. As I mix the drinks, I talk a little bit more with my new found friends.
Handing them the drinks, I'm suddenly stopped by Tessa's hand on my harm.
"What happened to your face?" she questions, a concerned look in her eye. I try to remain calm, hoping that I can shrug this one off.
"I don't know what you're talking about," I say smoothly. Will bends down, trying to get a better view of my face.
"Are you sure? What's that on your cheek?"
"Probably just the lighting," I say quickly, dodging the hand that he reaches out. Luckily this is a pretty valid excuse. The flashing lights in the club can cause some weird shadows.
I watch Tessa and Will exchange worried glances. Pretending to oblivious to it, I move down the bar to help someone else.
I don't see them for the rest of the night. The rest of my shift passes by pretty quickly. Barely talking to anyone, I help usher the last few drinkers out of the club. And with that, at three o'clock in the morning, my work is finally done. A wave of exhaustion washes over me as I slump into a vacant bar stool; my first break for the entire night.
Helping Maia clean up the bar takes about twenty minutes. Thankfully there wasn't too much of a mess left from the crowd.
Grabbing my bag, I walk towards the exit of the club. I decide the pain in my feet isn't worth it, so I take off my shoes and carry them. Even in the early early morning, the city is far from asleep. I pray that there aren't any people I'd have to run from. Without shoes on, that would be pretty painful.
I reach the apartment building. I rush up the flights of stairs. When I reach the right door, I silently open it. Sighing in relief when I notice no one is waiting for me, I tip toe through the kitchen to reach my room.
Slowly closing my door, I can only relax when it's fully closed. I throw my bag onto the ground, and flop onto my bed. Closing my eyes, I revel in how good it feels to just relax.
It's only when I take a deep breath that I notice I'm laying on something uncomfortable. Scrambling upwards, I squint through my tired eyes and see that I had planted myself right on top of a now crumpled letter.
A yawn escapes my lips as I lift it up. The light from the city makes my small room bright enough to make out the lettering on the envelope: Brooklyn Art Institute.
My exhaustion quickly disappears, replaced by rapid butterflies. I straighten up and stare at the envelope. The contents inside hold my entire future. My life depends on what is written on this letter.
Hands shaking, I carefully flatten it and rip open the envelope. I slowly take out the paper inside. I squeeze my eyes shut, not wanting to look at what it says.
Eventually I work up the courage to open my eyes. They fall on the words in the letter:
Dear Ms. Morgenstern,
We regret to inform you-
A/N: I can't believe it. I'm actually almost done with this story. Maybe four or five more chapters, or even less than that.
I'm so sorry that it's been FOREVER since I've updated, but school and sports have been crazy. Yes, I am a dedicated person who is hoping to get to college. So sue me.
Thank you for sticking with me for this entire time. I'm really thankful for all of you!
-SneekAttack101