Disclaimer - The characters of this fanfiction, as well as the 'Sons of Anarchy' world belong to Kurt Sutter, with the exception of 'Boo' Trager, who is an original character created by me. I make no profit from this work.
I apologise for the delay in this chapter; my internet went down at the weekend and I had to wait until today to get it sorted. I made the chapter a little longer for you guys to make up for that! Thanks so much for all the wonderful reviews for the last chapter – I was worried the ring thing was a little cheesy – that really made me smile! Anyways, enjoy this chapter dear readers...
Chibs and Boo were standing in the window at Jax's house, waiting for the VP to arrive home with his son for the first time. Unlike everyone else, who were milling around the living room chatting and drinking beer. Chibs longed to join them, but Boo wanted to watch out for the arrival of her stepbrother and nephew, so at the window with his girl he was. Boo had insisted that he join the rest of the party, but Chibs found that he was rather reluctant to leave her side. They'd had a shitty few months and now that they were okay again, the Scotsman wanted to savour every possible moment he could with his Ol' Lady, whether that be while making love to her on the chapel table, or simply standing at her side keeping her company while she waited for Jax, he didn't care. Every moment between them was precious. They stood, Chibs behind Boo, pressed up against her, chin resting atop of her head, arms wrapped tight around her, with their left hands entwined, ringed fingers pressed together. Chibs was contented to stay like that, holding his girl in his arms, forever...
"Oh! They're here!" Boo grinned, breaking away from Chibs as Jax and Gemma pulled up outside, baby Abel strapped in along with them. Chibs could only chuckle in amusement as his Ol' Lady raced to the door and stood waiting for Jax and Abel to come through, broad grin on her lips, hands clasped together in excitement. She was practically bouncing on her heels and Chibs felt like she couldn't look cuter for it. When Jax, Abel and Gemma walked in the door a moment later, it was on his girl that Chibs focus stayed, his eyes glittering behind his sunglasses as he trailed behind a grinning and jubilant Boo as she followed Jax and Abel round the room, her eyes never once leaving her baby nephew. "Jax he's beautiful! I can't believe he's finally home..." Boo cried in congratulations as she kissed Jax on the cheek, before pressing her lips gently to Abel's soft forehead. The brunette had surprised herself some by managing to hold back and simply look at Abel while the rest of the club came and greeting and congratulated Jax. Of course she knew that being last the congratulate Jax meant that spend more time with Abel...
"Congratulations Jacky-Boy!" Chibs nodded, patting Jax on the shoulder as he grinned at his VP, eyes moving to the baby in his arms. Abel; he not seen the boy since just days after he was born when he'd been just a feeble wee thing, hooked up to machines and monitors with almost no chance of survival... Now he was a strong looking lad, big and healthy looking with huge beautiful blue eyes that had the Scotsman totally captivated. He couldn't look away from them, from Abel. He suddenly found himself longing for Kerrianne, longing for the daughter he'd never see again. But more so, he found himself longing for a child with the woman at his side, with Boo. He was certain that now, after over four years together, that they were ready for a baby. He knew he was, but was Boo? "He looks just like yeh." He added, shaking his head ever so slightly to clear his mind as he reached out and stroked Abel cheek with his knuckles. Baby Abel gurgled happily in response and turned his eyes fully on Chibs, beautifully blue and sparkling in wonder and awe making the Scotsman's heart swell and melt all at once, making it ache with desire and want. He had to practically bite back the sigh of longing that threatened to escape his lips.
"Thanks Chibs, Boo." Jax grinned, nodding at each of the couple in turn, his heart practically bursting out of his chest with pride. He couldn't believe he finally had his son home, a day he'd long believed would never come. When Abel had been born, weeks early with no hope of survival, Jax had managed to convince himself that he'd be burying his son, not bringing him home. Now that Abel was healthy and with his whole life ahead of him, Jax couldn't be happier, especially since Tara was back in his life. Or more importantly, in his bed. Everything in his life was finally working itself out and while he still grieved somewhat for his late wife, he knew she'd brought her death on herself. After years of drug abuse that had not only affected herself but Boo, Jax and Abel too, she'd practically been asking for it to finally kill her. Jackson was more surprised that it hadn't killed her soon than he had been at her death in the first place... "You up for holding him Scotty?" Jax asked Chibs, smirk on his lips when he caught the Scotsman looking down at his son longingly... Chibs blushed a faint shade of pink when he caught the smirk on Jackson's lips, the cocked eyebrow and the look of knowing that glittered deep in his smug eyes. A look he'd obviously inherited from Gemma, it was so akin to his mothers own all knowing look! Chibs was certain that his VP knew exactly what was going on in his mind...
"Aye, pass him here then." He said with a grin, holding his arms out for Abel. Jax nodded and carefully shifted Abel in his arms so that he could pass him over to Chibs. He had for a moment, the vaguest notion that maybe Boo and Chibs would just run off with Abel – they certainly looked like they wanted too – but soon chased that thought away. It wasn't Abel that the couple wanted, but a child of their own. Jackson wondered if they were trying already, or had Abel's homecoming been the trigger for such thoughts and wants in both of them?
"Here Abel, this is your Uncle Chibs." He grinned as he eased his baby son into the Scotsman's arms, who took him carefully, holding in his arms with ease, arms making a perfect cradle for Abel, supporting his head and his body perfectly. Jackson pressed a kiss to Abel's forehead before stepping back and admiring the sight before him, Chibs holding Abel with such care and affection, looking down at him lovingly and in longing, brown eyes sparkling behind his glasses, a soft smile curling his lips up. Boo appeared at his side at once, wrapped one arm around his waist and rested her head on Chibs shoulder, her eyes focussed on Abel whose tiny little fist she held between her fingers. She too had a soft smile on her lips, a look of longing in her face... Jackson couldn't help but wonder how long it would be before Boo and Chibs had a child of their own. "Don't worry if you can't understand a word he says, no one else can." He added teasingly, whispering softly in his son's ear, a grin on his lips, amusement glittering deep in his eyes. When Chibs had first moved to Charming Jackson, as well as many other SAMCRO members, had had a little trouble understanding what Chibs said, often completely misinterpreting what he had said. Sometimes still, with the former medic's Scottish accent still being so thick, Jackson had to stop and think about what Chibs was saying just to make sure he'd understood him right.
"Very funny, I speak perfect fuckin' English." Chibs drawled sarcastically with a roll of his eyes. Jax merely chuckled and patted Chibs on the arm before kissing Boo and Abel alike on the cheek and sauntering off towards Gemma, who looked a little lost for not having Abel in her arms. It was pretty obvious to the VP that his mother both expected and wanted to play mom to his son and was a bit vexed to realise that he was planning on being there for his son and raising him himself. "Yer a handsome wee lad aren't yeh Abel? Aye?" Chibs cooed, turning his attentions to the baby boy in his arms as soon as Jackson walked away. Abel gurgled happily at the attention and the sound of Chibs voice, his brilliant and beautiful blue eyes staring happily up at his uncle. Chibs beamed, his heart melting, and kissed Abel's cheek tenderly before sighing deeply and resting his head atop of Boo's, eyes never once leaving the tiny bundle in his arms. Boo snuggled against him, her eyes too on the baby in his arms, a contented smile on her lips as Abel gripped and shook her finger with all the might he could muster. The Scotsman could get used to this: him and baby and Boo. A little family he could call his own, a loving wife and a darling child that they had created together, out of their love. Chibs knew that the time had come for him and Boo to talk about having children, for them to discuss whether it was something they were both ready for and wanted. He was sure it was.
"Suits you that does." Boo said a moment later, grin on her lips as she looked up at Chibs. The Scotsman cocked an eyebrow in question, eyes only briefly focussing on Boo, a faint flush of something akin to, but not quite embarrassment tainting his scared cheeks. Boo chuckled at that before pressing a reassuring kiss to Chibs warm cheek and staring deep into his eyes, a soft yet nervous smile playing about her lips. Dare she say it, or did it sound to forward, too much? Sure they'd talked about children a little, and were going to so again now that things were better between them but what she wanted to say, what she was thinking was so out there, it made it pretty that she wanted a baby, that she thought them to be ready for the addition of a child in their relationship. "Holding the baby, looking down at him with such fatherly affections..." Boo muttered eventually, her own cheeks a flush with embarrassment, pink and burning, yet she kept eye contact with Chibs, kept the soft yet nervous smile on her lips. Chibs soon returned it; his brown eyes suddenly alight with surprise and amusement.
"Does it now?" he asked teasingly, a flutter of excitement forming deep in the pit of his stomach, mouth suddenly dry, heart pounding madly. It was obvious to Chibs in that moment that he wasn't the only one of them wanting a baby, Boo was broody too, she longed for a child of their own as much as he did. The Scotsman could barely contain his excitement, and couldn't help but think that in 9 months time it could be him and Boo bringing their first born home, to the grand welcome of the club and those associated with it. Boo grinned broadly at him and nodded before making a gesture that indicated that she wanted to hold baby Abel. "Here Hen, take him then." He grinned; easing Abel into Boo's awaiting arms. Boo let out a contented little sigh as she took Abel, the grin on her lips becoming broader still, stretching from ear to ear, eyes sparkling yet hazy with want. She felt so right with Abel in her arms, with Chibs smiling down at her, hand on her hip. God she wanted a baby so badly... Chibs ducked forward and kissed Boo deeply before running a finger down baby Abel's cheek, his scarred face threatening to crack into two he was grinning so hard. The sight of Boo with baby Abel in her arms, smiling down at him with such obvious motherly affection was fucking magical. It was obvious to the Scotsman that his girl not only wanted a baby but that she was ready for one too, that she was a mother already, just waiting for a chance to have a child of her own. Chibs felt the strangest sensation rush through him as he watched Boo coo and kiss at Abel, a mixture of excitement and nervous, anticipation and untold amounts of happiness. "I'm goin' teh go and get a beer. Want anything?" he muttered to Boo, kissing her quickly on the cheek as he stuck his thumb over his shoulder towards the kitchen. He needed something to wet his mouth, bone dry with the overload of emotion he was feeling and needed a moment to contain himself, to take a breath and process everything that was going on in his head.
"No, I'm fine thanks." Boo said with a shake of her head, so captivated by Abel she didn't even look up at Chibs. The Scotsman watched her for a few minutes, a soft and affectionate smile on his lips. God what he wouldn't give for the child in her arms to be their own...
"Be right back darlin'." Chibs grinned a moment later, kissing Boo on the cheek once more before sauntering off to the kitchen in a daze, his head clouded with thoughts and ideas about him and Boo having a child together, about what that child would be like. He wondered if their child would be smart like Boo, or strong and tough like him. Would it look more like him, or would it be lucky enough to be blessed with his girl's good looks; her stunning blue eyes and mesmerising smile? Would it be a boy or a girl? But most importantly, when would this little bundle of joy arrive? Chibs couldn't help but hope that it'd be in as little as 9 months... "Hey Gem." Chibs said, beaming at the matriarch as he joined her in the kitchen, planting a kiss on her cheek as he grabbed a cold beer out of the fridge.
"Hi Chibs, how you doing baby?" Gemma replied, giving Chibs a hug before pecking him on the lips, an all knowing smile playing about her own lips, a shrewd glint in her eye. She'd been watching Chibs and Boo since the moment that Jackson had walked through the front door and had been elated to see that not only was their relationship firmly back on track but that they seemed ready and eager to have a child of their own. Another grandbaby for Gemma to coo over and spoil rotten. The Scotsman she noticed, wasn't even looking at her, he was looking at his girl and at Abel, his eyes alight, warm and sparkling, soft grin on his lips that lit up his whole face.
"I'm grand Gemma, just grand." Chibs nodded, sighing contently as he watched a beaming, ecstatic Boo take Abel's tiny fist between her fingers again and kiss his knuckles gently, making the baby boy kick and wiggle in excitement, beam in amusement. His girl certainly had a way with the little lad. She was going to make a brilliant mother... "Bet yer glad teh see yer grandson home aye?" Chibs asked Gemma, turning his attention on the woman he was conversing with finally. Gemma simply chuckled and nodded at that.
"Yeah." She agreed. Although that was putting it lightly. She was utterly delighted, completely over the moon and words couldn't describe just how pleased she was to see Abel home, safe and well. But now wasn't the time for her to describe her joy at having Abel home – despite it being his homecoming – now was the time for her to give her stepdaughter and Chibs a friendly little shove of encouragement, to push them towards making the decision to try for a baby. A decision it seems that they had both already made. But still, a little shove would help move things along a bit faster. "You know, I've never seen such an empty-womb look on a face before..." she told Chibs, nodding her head towards Boo who was still yet to yet put Abel down or even to look away from him. She looked so happy, like there was nowhere else in the world she'd rather be. Like she was contented to stand there with Abel in her arms forever. But she also had a look of aching longing about her; there was a hint of sadness in her eyes, one that told Gemma that her stepdaughter wanted a child of her own, that she yearned to have life growing inside of her.
"Yeah, my girl's broody alright." Chibs agreed with a nod his gaze following Gemma's and finding Boo, sounding far more pleased with his own admissions than he'd like to. Not that it mattered, Gemma had a way of knowing things, of knowing what was going on in the minds of those she was closest too. She always had.
"Not just her sweetie, you as well." Gemma grinned, turning on Chibs, arms folded and eyebrow cocked in an amused sort of way. The Scotsman too had that look about him; he wanted a baby as much as Boo did.
"Aye..." Chibs nodded in agreement. There was no point denying it, he was feeling broody too, if you could call it that.
SAMCRO
"Chibs? What happened? What's going on?" Boo cried frantically as a forlorn and depressed looking Chibs walked through the door. He was pale, practically white, his deep brown eyes almost black with grief, filled with tears that threatened to spill down his cheeks and never stop. He seemed to be a state of shock and was startled by Boo's cries, looking up at her as if in disbelief that she was really there as soon as the sound of her voice filtered through into his brain. Boo knew that something terrible had happened for when she arrived at home an hour previously, Chibs was not following behind her on his Dyna and the screen of her phone was littered with missed calls and messages from him informing her only that something had happened, without any indication of what that something was. It had to be bad of course, for why else would have Chibs just sped off? Boo feared that something had happened to Tig, fears that were only heightened by the look on Chibs face.
"Donna..." said Chibs from the doorway, where he stood frozen, unable to move or say little more for he was in such a saddened state of shock and disbelief. He couldn't quite believe that Opie's poor wife was dead, despite the fact that he had seen her body himself, despite the fact that he had stood back and watched as Opie cradled her corpse and wept, grief pouring out of him for all to see. He couldn't understand who would want to kill Donna. He didn't know the woman very well but he knew her well enough to know she was sweet, kind and undeserving of such a brutal demise. He could only assume such a death was meant for Opie and even then the Scotsman couldn't even begin to contemplate who would want him dead. His mind was too much of a mess to think rationally and clearly... "Donnas dead." He went on when he realised he had left Boo without a real answer as to what had happened, tears finally falling free from his eyes as the reality of his own words hit him, as the truth of them finally registered. Donna Winston was dead; murdered. Gunned down in her husband's truck as she went to the store to get washing powder for Gemma. The Scotsman fell to his knees, dropped his head into his hands and simply wept.
"Oh my god..." Boo gasped, hands clasping over her mouth as she leapt to her feet and went to Chibs, dropping to her knees beside him and throwing her arms around him. She'd felt only the most momentary relief when she realised that Tig was okay, unharmed and alive but that relief was quickly crushed by the news of Donnas death, by utter disbelief. What had happened to Donna? Had there been an accident or had something worse happened to her, something far more sinister? Boo couldn't believe that anyone would want Donna dead, she was such a lovely woman, meant no harm to anyone. Boo didn't know her all too well – she'd tried to talk to her a few times but had always been brushed off and besides, she struggled to get along with other women, she always had. Gemma being one of few exceptions to that – but from what she knew of her she knew that she didn't deserve to die. "How? I don't... how?" she mumbled frantically as Chibs leaned into her, arms going tight around her waist and pulling her close so that she was straddling him, knee's falling either side of his own, head pressed up against his cut. He needed to feel his girl in his arms, soft, warm and alive, needed to know that she was okay, safe and well, because he just couldn't help but picture Boo's body sprawled out on a white sheet, not Donnas, couldn't help but imagine it was his girl that had been the one to be gunned down...
"Someone... someone rolled up behind her as she drove teh the store..." Chibs explained tearfully, his cheek resting atop of Boo's head, eyes staring out into their apartment, not focussing on anything in particular yet seeing all the while Boo in her car, waiting for the lights to change, a vehicle pulling up behind her, the unknown occupant pulling out a gun, taking aim and firing... The Scotsman closed his eyes tight at this point, willed his mind to stop working the way it was, but still he saw her, his beautiful wee Hen, take a round of bullets in the back of her head, blood spraying everywhere as she jerked with the force of the impact, sparkle of life dying in an instance in her eyes as she slumped forward against the steering will, staring blankly out into nothingness, blood dripping down her pale face; dead. "Fired through the back window..." Boo couldn't hear anymore after that, she didn't want to listen a moment longer. She could piece the rest together herself...
"Opie?" she asked, knowing that Opie would be utterly and completely devastated, lost to grief. Boo didn't know the man all too well, since he'd been in prison during most of her years in Charming, but she knew that he loved Donna with all he had, she was his world, his light, his life.
"Devastated, utterly inconsolable." Chibs confirmed grimly with a nod of his head. Poor Opie had been... well devastated just didn't cover it, didn't even come close. The way he'd clutched at Donnas dead body, clung to it, entire form shuddering with the intensity of his sobs, had been heartbreaking. It had taken Chibs and Jax almost an hour to get him away from the crime scene and home to his children. The Scotsman hadn't hung around to see him tell his kids that his mother was dead, he just couldn't do it. How could he stand back and watch a man tell his young children that mummy was never coming home? "I can't help but imagine yeh in that truck Hen... I can't help but see yeh dead, laid out on the road fer the world teh see..." Chibs cried, tears spilling faster still down his scarred cheeks as his mind switched what he had seen that night so that it was Boo lying dead on the road, laid out on a sheet, bullet holes riddling her head. So that he was the one cradling the body of his dead wife, holding her like he didn't ever want to let her go, begging her through his tears to come back, the rest of the club merely watching on, unsure of what to do or say...
"It's okay Filip, I'm here, I'm alive." Boo whispered, smiling softly as she tilted her head up, cupping Chibs face between her hands so that he had little choice but to look at her, into her eyes, bright and sparkling with the life that was still very much inside of her.
Chibs didn't returned her smile, didn't feel very comforted by her words despite the fact that he could see her before him, flush with the blood that still pumped through her veins, warm and alight with life, despite the fact that when he put a hand to her heart, he could feel it beating soft and steady and when he put his other hand on the back of her head, he could feel that it was free from bullet wounds, that it was whole, undamaged, not caked in dried blood.
"But it so easily could have been yeh in that truck!" he snapped, closing his eyes and ducking his head, fingers curling tight in Boo's shirt and hair as he tried to calm himself, to free himself of the awful thoughts and images that plagued his mind. It could so easily have been Boo in that truck! What if someone had ordered a hit on him, what if said person had believed him to be borrowing Boo's car and followed it, shooting blindly though the back window before driving off without realising that the person they had taken out was actually not him, but Boo. "I don't know what I'd have done if it'd been you that was gunned down tonight... I don't..." he went on, eyes stinging as tears built up behind the lids. Chibs blinked a few times to let them fall free, sniffing hard as he caught sight of his girl, face pale, stark with shock and anguish. The Scotsman leaned forward and kissed her hard on the lips before leaning his forehead against hers and staring deep into her eyes, focussing on the way they glittered with life. "I can't lose yeh Hen, I can't." He said desperately, tearfully. He couldn't be without his Boo, not now not ever. She was as much a part of him as any body part, without her he just wouldn't be whole, wouldn't be complete. Without her he'd just wither and die because she was his heart, the one thing above all else that kept him going, that kept him alive. If she died, Chibs too would die, there was no doubt about that. He'd die simply because a person couldn't live without their heart...
"You're not going to lose me Filip, I promise." Boo insisted, although the words felt unwittingly forced for that was something she couldn't promise, not really. She had no real control over whether she lived or died. She could drop dead at any moment, for just about any reason and there might just be no way of stopping it. She could get ill, be in an accident... But then she might live until she was 100, might stay healthy and fighting fit until the bitter end. There was just no way of knowing and so for that reason, her words sounded somewhat hollow, something Boo was sure Chibs had picked up on.
"If yeh died I don't think... that'd be it fer me." Chibs told Boo, making the girls heart catch tight in her chest, her throat close and tense up with an overload of emotion, anguish and despair. She understood that Donnas death made her own that much more believable, much more possible to the Scotsman but he was now scaring her with the way he was going on. It sounded to Boo like he'd kill himself if she were to die and that was something she never wanted for her man. She'd rather he lived, found another, fell in love again...It'd be such a stupid waste of life if he killed himself. "I can't live without yeh." Chibs insisted forlornly, dropping his head.
"Good job you're stuck with me then aye?" Boo teased, trying to get a smile out of her man in return. However humour it seemed, wasn't going to get through to her man. He was really, truly afraid of losing her... Boo had never seen such fear in Chibs before, normally so strong and brave, and it unnerved her. "Chibs I'm young, I'm fit and healthy, I'm not going to die anytime soon okay?" she assured him as forced his head up once again, forcing him to look at her once more. She smiled when he looked up, pressed a chaste kiss to his lips.
"I know I just... with Donna... I can't help but think..." Chibs nodded, for how could he not think of Boo dying on such a night? He felt certain he wasn't the only one thinking such a way, sure that Jax was thinking of losing Tara, Clay of losing Gemma...
"I know, I understand." Boo assured Chibs with a nod of her head, for truly she did. If it had been Opie in the back of that truck, any one of the other guys, Boo knew she'd be where Chibs was, imagining the unthinkable, imagining that her lover was dead, scared that maybe he might soon be dead...
Chibs offered Boo the faintest of smiles as he wiped his cheeks free from the tears that had tumbled down them, took her hand and squeezed it tight. She understood... Of course she did, she was his beautiful wee Hen, his Boo, she knew him better than anyone. They were perfect together, him and Boo, so happy and in love. The only thing that could complete their lives further still was the addition of a child... Chibs had been planning on bringing the matter up before Donna had died but now... as ill timed as suggesting they try for a baby was, it was also perfectly timed. After seeing her with Abel he knew they were ready for a baby and after Donna... Chibs knew that life was short, and if they were ready for a baby, wanted one and knew it to be the right choice than why wait? The Scotsman beamed suddenly, nervously so, fear tainting the excited sparkle in his still watery eyes as he took Boo's hands between his own and kissed her knuckles gently.
"This is goin' teh sound like the most inappropriately timed suggestion ever but..." he began, trailing off with a nervous chuckle, eyes falling to the floor as he panicked momentarily that his suggestion really was too ill timed and that Boo wouldn't want to start trying for a baby the night of Donnas death. But then he caught sight of her stomach, flat under her shirt; empty and he couldn't help but think how overjoyed he'd be if she announced that she was having his baby, couldn't help but picture the soft swell of her stomach on top of which his hand rested, feeling for the subtle movements of their unborn child. "Do yeh think it's time we tried for a baby?" he asked looking up, grin playing about his face as he stared into Boo's eyes – widened suddenly with shock, yet sparkling with something akin to excitement behind the tears that lingered there still – his lips finding her knuckles again.
"A baby? Now? Really?" gasped Boo, all in a hurry, words overlapping as they struggled to make themselves heard. Had she heard Filip right? Try for a baby..? The timing of the suggestion didn't matter much to her; not really, it was not that which had shocked her. What shocked her was that while she certainly felt ready to have a baby she hadn't known for sure that Chibs was too and she most certainly wouldn't have thought he'd be the one suggesting such an idea in the first place. She felt sure she'd be the one asking him for a baby...
"Aye..." Chibs nodded, smile on his lips widening, making his cheeks ache, heart racing with pleasure when Boo grinned back at him. "After tonight well... life is short." Chibs rambled quickly, wanted to explain himself and his sudden decision to try for a baby as quickly as possible so that he might get an answer from his girl. An answer he was sure he already knew, but still he needed to hear it from her sweet lips. "I think we're ready, I think this is something we both want now." He went on, pausing slightly, eyes fixated on Boo who gave a swift and brief nod, tears in her eyes suddenly those of happiness rather than grief, cheek aching grin on her own lips. "Watchin' yeh with Abel Hen... I couldn't help but imagine that yeh were holdin' our child... I wanted him teh be our child." Chibs revealed, nervous chuckle returning, low and rumbling at the back of his throat, cheeks burning pink for his admission. He was strangely embarrassed by the admission that he wanted Abel to have been their child, or at least that he'd rather she had a child that belonged to them cradled in her arms. "Yer a mother already, I can see it." Chibs grinned as he ducked his hand under Boo's shirt and pressed it up against her flat belly. Boo groaned softly as Chibs hand, ice cold, pressed up hard against her soft, warm belly, the feel of it, coupled with his talk of them having a baby together sending a lusty shiver down her spine.
"Okay." She grinned nodding her head enthusiastically, grin on her lips becoming larger still as Chibs face, his entire being lit up in excitement, in happiness as her agreement."Let's try for a baby." Chibs didn't wait for her to say much else, he leapt to his feet and pulled Boo up with him, who screamed and giggled all at once, caught up in the excitement and magic of the moment. Chibs looked over his shoulder as he dragged his girl towards the bedroom, catching a brief glimpse of her, glowing with happiness, eyes sparkling with excitement and wonder, wide and the deepest blue. God was she beautiful... Chibs had never wanted her more! "Wait wait! One minute..." Boo gasped as the past the bathroom, digging her heels into the carpet forcing Chibs to stop in his mission towards the bedroom.
"What?" Chibs demanded as Boo freed her hand before heading into the bathroom, flicking the light on as she went, and rummaging in the cabinet. What the hell was she doing, looking for condoms or something? Was she mad? Chibs and Boo didn't much use condoms anymore anyway, so chances are there weren't any. Boo was on birth control and they only took the extra measure of a condom when she'd taken something that might interfere with the effectiveness of the pill: antibiotics, painkillers... Sex was much better without condoms, when they could feel one another, touch; skin on skin, sex on sex, feel the other pulsating lustily below or inside of them... "What are yeh doin' Boo?" Chibs asked, leaning against the door frame, eyebrow cocked in question as he shifted his tight jeans and watched Boo search the bathroom cabinet. She didn't give him an answer, but after a minute she produced an orange tub of prescribed medication and walked over to the toilet with it, opening it and emptying its contents into the bowl with an elated sigh.
"Flushing my birth control." She said as she chucked the empty tub to one side before flushing the toilet and watching the pills she had poured down there swirl away. What use was birth control when they were trying to get pregnant? Suddenly everything was that more real for the both of them; they were trying to get pregnant. They both wanted a baby, felt like they and their relationship alike was ready for one and they were going to do their utmost best to make one.
"We're really doin' this then huh?" Chibs grinned from the doorway. Boo grinned back, nodded.
"Looks like it." She said. Suddenly Chibs strode forward, closing the gap between him and Boo in one long step, arms slipping around his girl's waist before she knew what was going on. "Oh my god, Chibs put me down!" she squealed in delight, giggling and kicking madly as the Scotsman threw her over his shoulder and marched with her towards the bedroom. Chibs ignored her and continued to cart her towards the bedroom, Boo kicking and giggling the entire way, turned on by Chibs directness, by the way he pinned her to his shoulder by holding her thigh tight, right up by her tight wet heat which he flicked and teased with his fingertips.
"Clothes off then..." he grinned at Boo when they reached the bedroom, setting her down on her feet before standing back, arms folded, and looking her up and down, eyebrow arched perfectly in waiting. He wanted to stand back and watch her as she frantically removed her clothing, wanted to watch as her skin was revealed inch by oh so perfect inch, quickly as she was so desperate to have him inside of her. Knowing Chibs game, one they had played many a time before, Boo tore off her clothes as quickly as her trembling fingers would let her, shaking her hips free of her jeans as she unbuttoned her shirt.
"Hey, come on now this isn't fair!" she said when she was down to just her underwear plain black bra and frilly French panties, deep pink and brilliant purple. The sort of panties Chibs' favourite porn stars liked to wear; ones that never failed to get him going when he saw them hugging his Ol' Ladies perfect little ass so tight. His jeans hugged him tighter still for seeing her in those little panties, throbbing hard on pressing against the harsh metal of the zip in his jeans, exposed to his cock as he was wearing no underwear.
"What isn't fair Hen?" he asked Boo, head tilted to the side in question as he played dumb, pretending not to know what she was on about when he knew damn well that she wasn't going to take another scrap of clothing off until he started taking something off himself. She was cruel like that... As he tilted his head to the side, the Scotsman couldn't help but notice the wet patch in Boo's panties, right where her pussy was, couldn't help but get a chaste sniff of the smell of her sex, sweet and musky. Chibs groaned softly at that, eyes rolling into the back of his head a little; his horny wee lassie wanted him desperately, was wet and ready to take his pulsating, rock hard cock. There'd be no messing about with foreplay tonight; they needed one another, needed to fuck, to make love... needed to make life. Chibs wondered if it was a strange thing that he was so turned on by the fact that they were trying to get pregnant. Or rather, that he was trying to get Boo pregnant. He wanted to fill her with his seed, wanted to fill her empty womb with his child, their child...
"I'm here just in my underwear and you're all fully clothed!" Boo explained with a tut of impatient, pointing up and down Chibs form, still completely clad in the clothes he'd been wearing when he'd walked through the door earlier in the evening. As such as she appreciated how goddamn sexy he looked in his tight black jeans, button up shirt and leather cut he looked sexier still when we was naked, tattooed skin exposed, slink with sweat, glistening in the dim light of their bedroom, all in anticipation for their lovemaking, for her. Boo throbbed for her man even more just for thinking of him naked, for picturing his dick, erect and standing out from his body, ready to fuck her into the abyss. "I'm not taking anything more off unti-" Boo began when Chibs didn't move, at least not to remove any clothing. Instead he dove forward with a lusty growl, catching Boo in his arms as he went, sending them both tumbling to the bed behind her, the two of them giggling and moaning as their aching, lust filled bodies rocked and rubbed together. Chibs caressed Boo's hips with his fingers as he ravished her neck, cheeks and lips with kisses, working his lips up and down at a speedy pace, teeth nicking at her skin, tongue darting out and tasting her as he went. Boo, breathing haggard, coming out in rusty, harsh gasps and grunts, tangled her fingers in his hair, her head thrown back to expose her neck all the more. She loved it when Chibs did things like this; it made her nipples hard and erect within her bra, achingly sore and longing to be touched. Made her pussy so goddamn wet her musky juices practically trickled down to the bed below, her pulsating clit throbbing so painfully fast it was almost like it wasn't throbbing at all, but just constantly swelled and aching to the point where one touch from Chibs' coarse fingers would send her over the blissful edge of oblivion... And then as suddenly as Chibs started his assault on her neck, cheeks and lips he stopped, standing and stepping back, hands unbuckling his belt as Boo looked up at him in a lusty state of disbelief.
"Stay put then." He winked, own breath coming in haggard gasps, face flushed pink with lust, sweat trickling down his forehead slowly, dripping down into his chocolate brown eyes, blazing with lust, want, need yet hazy too, everything in his sight clouded but her; his beautiful wee Hen, withering away in her underwear on the bed, wet, horny, legs spreading wide for him as soon as she'd pulled off her panties and discarded them carelessly to one side. His patience weaning, Chibs hurried with the removal of his remaining clothes, jeans falling free from his hips in the same instance that he shrugged off his cut.
"Leave your cut on Filip..." Boo groaned, voice thick with lust, eyes hooded as she stared up at him lustily. It was a common request that Chibs was always more than happy to oblige, she loved him to wear his cut – and just his cut – when they made love, turned on by the cool, smooth feel of the leather between her fingers, pressed up against the perfect mounds of her breasts... "Please, I want you so much more when you have it on..." Boo begged when Chibs discarded his shirt but did not pull on his cut. She wanted him to be wearing his cut when they conceived their first child; she couldn't really explain why she wanted that she just did.
"Well, since yeh asked so nice and all..." Chibs said with a heavy sigh, as if he wasn't all that keen on her request, as it were too much of a chore for him to wear his cut while they made love when in reality, he loved wearing it as he fucked his Ol' Lady, as he drove himself in and out of her or watched her bounce away atop of him, tight little pussy pumping his cock as her prefect, ample tits bounced along with her... The Scotsman shrugged his cut back on with a satisfied sigh before crawling to that wonderful place between Boo's legs. "God yer beautiful..." Chibs grinned once his eyes were level with hers, ducking down and pressing a chaste kiss to her lips as she unhooked her bra from the front, exposing her ample breasts to Chibs.
"So you tell me." Boo sighed in disbelief, shaking her head slightly as her man kissed his way down her chin, her neck, down her collar bone to her breasts, taking his time to kiss and caress at the inking of her chest; his crow, vibrant and colourful, marking her as his and his alone... He slipped his mouth over her rock hard nipple, sucked gently, tongue flicking over the hardened knot making Boo mew and squirm in delight below him. He repeated the action once more, before raking his teeth gently over the rosy bud, digging them in just a little. Boo shrieked and bucked her hips involuntarily, the hot blood that was cursing through her veins making every inch of her throb and ache for Filip as much as her pussy did. Chibs chuckled and dragged himself back up to eye level, too impatient to be buried deep within his girl to repeat the sweet torture on her other breast.
"So yeh are." He insisted, kissing Boo deeply as his fingers found hers, entwining them together, other hand finding her hip so that he had something to grip onto once he slipped inside his girl. Boo kissed him back frantically, desperately even, hand snaking around his waist as their tongues battled on, fighting to taste a little more of one another. Chibs, as usual, tasted like whiskey, overpoweringly so, the sharp, bitter tang all that was on his lips, not that Boo cared. Whiskey to her, was the taste of Chibs and she loved it, couldn't get enough of it, it was as intoxicating as the drink itself, drawing her in and making her drunk with lust. Chibs soon rather reluctantly pulled his lips away from Boo's sweet tasting ones, rested his forehead against hers and grinned. This was it; their first attempt at making a baby... Chibs slipped inside his girls waiting wet heat, slow and steady, groaning contently at the familiar feel of her pussy clamping down tight on his throbbing cock, the sensation sending thrills of pleasure of his spine. "Christ! Boo..." Chibs cursed once he was fully inside her, eyes flickered closed only for a moment as he adjusted to the sensation of being buried to the hilt inside his girl. When he opened his eyes again he was pleased to see Boo's eyes staring back up at him, wide and hazy with desire, glittering, dazzling crystals that had Chibs captivated. He didn't want to look away from them; he wanted to stare deep into her eyes as he made love to her...
Boo let out a long, blissful groan as Chibs filled her, eyes rolling into the back of her head as Chibs cock filled her, stretching out her tight pussy, hitting all the right places as it went. Chibs picked up and kept a steady pace, thrusting in and out of her slowly, yet hard, slamming back into her with such force each time that she could help but whimper, toes curling in pleasure, thrusts that she soon meet with her own as her legs, long lean and trembling, wrapped tight around Chibs waist. She didn't once close her eyes though, not even for a moment; just stared up into Chibs warm brown orbs, alight with pleasure, deep chocolaty pools sparkling with love.
"Don't stop..." Boo begged, voice scratchy and hoarse forced up from the back of her throat between the little whimpers and groans that passed near continuously from between her lips. She could feel her orgasm brewing in the pit of her stomach, a storm ready to surge through her body, taking complete control of it, spreading blinding, incapacitating pleasure to every part of her. "Don't ever stop touching me... Don't ever stop loving me..."she went on, pleading with her man whose slow and steady thrusts had meet an erratic pace as he too, felt the beginnings of his climax brewing. She didn't want Chibs to stop, not ever, she just wanted to remain where she was forever, below him, surrounding him, completed him. She couldn't bear the thought of his taking his hands off of her...
"Never!" Chibs growled in insistence, kissing Boo quick and deep, just for a second because he was soon caught in the grips of his climax, his load shooting deep inside Boo as he was overtaken by that blissful oblivion that only she could give him... Boo came not long after, pushed over the edge as Chibs rode out his orgasm, the tipping point being the way he spat a handful of Gallic curses in his thick Scottish accent. She screamed as she came, eyes clamping shut as she shook and convulsed with the power of her orgasm, fingers digging tight into the back of Chibs cut as she was tipped into utter ecstasy, entire being flooded with pleasure...
"Well..." she sighed breathlessly a moment later, glowing in the aftermath off their lovemaking, eyes heavy with the onset of sleep. Chibs nodded in knowing, kissed Boo's cheek as he pulled out of her and collapsed at her side with a contended sigh. Well indeed! That had been utterly fucking amazing..."That was... that was different." Boo muttered, to which Chibs could only nod. He knew what she meant about the sex being different, there was more to it now than just pleasure, than lust and need and want. Now they were trying to have a baby, were trying to make life and that just made their lovemaking all the more powerful and special, meaningful. "Love you Filip." Boo murmured sleepily as she cuddled up to Chibs, fingers pushing open his cut so that she could snuggle up to his bare chest. Chibs tucked her up in the cool leather of his cut, wrapping it around her warm body. Boo sighed softly and contently at that, the cool feel of the leather feeling blissful against her burning skin.
"Love yeh too Hen, so fucking much..." Chibs replied, planting a kiss into the dark spill of hair that had spread across his chest, hiding Boo's face from sight. He waited a moment – until Boo's breathing became regular and deep, indicated to the Scotsman that she'd fallen asleep – before tucking her curls behind her ear so that he could stare down at her contented face, still flush and glowing, as she slept. He wondered to himself if they'd been successful in getting pregnant this first time. Sure, Boo had only so far missed one days worth of birth control, but sometimes that was all it took... Before he drifted off himself the Scotsman slipped his hand onto Boo's flat belly, grin forming on his life as he gave it a little rub. Soon he hoped, there would be life there...
SAMCRO
"Juice told me that the witness that ID'd Bobby was a 17 year old girl!" Boo snapped as soon as Chibs was through the door, looking worn and a little shaken. She'd been home chatting to Juice online when he'd mentioned that the witness that Chibs, Tig and Happy were on their way to kill was a 17 year old girl. Boo's world had come tumbling down around her at once. She couldn't believe that her man could willingly kill a young girl of just 17 (although she could believe it off Tig and Happy) when he had a daughter that was very much the same age. When she herself was just a few years older... Problem was, Chibs was working on Clay's orders and he'd follow through with them pretty much no matter what they were, such was his loyalty to the club and to its president. So Boo knew it was probable that Chibs had killed the poor girl, and for what? Because she'd seen Bobby and Opie kill Hefner! Why couldn't they pay her off or scare her away? Why did they have to kill her? Boo felt sick, physically, mentally and emotionally, knowing that Chibs had killed an innocent young girl.
"Aye..." Chibs nodded solemnly, ducking his head as he dumped his hoodie, gloves and balaclava on the side. He'd been expecting this from Boo since he'd realised that the witness they were meant to kill was a young girl, knew his Ol' Lady would have more than a bit of a problem with his involvement in her death. He was never going to kill the girl though, and not just because he knew Boo would disapprove. She was just 17 years old, the same age his Kerrianne was, defenceless, innocent, just a child... How could he kill a child, a young girl that was the same age as his own daughter and not that much younger than his Ol' Lady?
"So you're telling me that the day after you suggested we try for a baby you went a killed a child?" Boo said, almost laughing in disbelief, her arms folded tight across her shaking form. There were tears in her eyes, clouded with torment and anguish and her lip was bleeding a little as she bit down on it in a vain attempt to keep herself together. She was fast falling apart and close to just breaking down and weeping. Less than 24 hours previously, she and Chibs had started trying for a child – after he suggested it no less – and now he'd just killed one. Boo didn't know where her world was anymore, where things were with Chibs. How could she be with a man that would so willingly take the life of a child?
"I didn't kill her Boo...I promise yeh." Chibs insisted firmly, stepping forward and sweeping Boo up into his arms, who relaxed into him in relief at once. She knew at once and without question that Chibs was telling her the truth and the relief she felt as a result was immense. She practically collapsed into Chibs the relief was so great and the tears of torment and anguish that had been in her eyes spilled over and dripped down steadily onto Chibs cut, a release of all the pent up emotion she was holding in. Chibs hadn't killed the witness, a poor innocent child. He hadn't killed a girl that was the same age as his own daughter, a girl not much younger than Boo herself just because she'd witnessed Bobby and Opie murder someone. Even if it meant sending one of his own to jail. Her darling Filip was a good man, Boo had always known it and she couldn't believe she'd lost that faith in him. Chibs held her tighter as she collapsed against him, one arm tight around her waist, the other curling up her back, hand holding her head close. The Scotsman kissed his girl quickly on the forehead before burying his face in her curls, tears filling his own eyes. "I saw her and... I pictured her as some old guy, a life easily taken but when I realised that..." he rambled tearfully, fingers curling tight in Boo's curls. He'd let himself believe from the off that the person they were going to kill was some middle aged drunkard or a cancer ridden old man so close to death the club were doing him a favour by taking his life. His job was easier that way, if he believed that than he could go in and kill the witness without a moment's hesitation but when he'd realised that the witness was just a young girl, no more than 18, terrified, naive and innocent, he'd known at once that he couldn't pull the trigger. The witness was just a poor girl that had been in the wrong place at the wrong time, why did she deserve to die for that? And the Scotsman couldn't help but picture her as Kerrianne, as the beautiful little daughter he'd left behind in Ireland that would now be about the same age as the witness he was meant to have killed. How could he pull the trigger when all he saw in front of him was his beloved daughter Kerrianne? "I knew I couldn't." Chibs assured Boo, not sure if his girl quite believed that he hadn't killed the witness. After all he'd been acting on Clay's orders and Clay's orders were to be followed through, no matter what. He was the president and he wasn't to be questioned.
"But you had to didn't you, you had to kill her?" Boo asked, curious as to how Chibs had gotten away with backing out of a direct order from Clay, worried suddenly as to whether or not her man had killed a child, against his conscience, simply because Clay had ordered him too. She knew deep down however, that he hadn't killed the witness, he'd probably left the dirty deed to Happy – who never thought twice about any kill, no matter who the intended victim was – or Tig – who never thought to turn down a direct order from Clay, no matter what the order was, no matter whether he agreed with it or not.
"I didn't kill her Boo I swear it, and I wouldn't have even if Jax hadn't come bursting in to stop us." Chibs insisted, not realising that his girl already knew that he'd played no hand in whatever had happened to the young witness. Boo, while being so accepting of the club, so understanding as to what that meant for her and her man, would never get behind the idea of killing a woman or a child. The men that died in the line of fire, in the wars SAMCRO waged against its many enemies were different. They choose the life they were in, knew they were in danger and would willingly kill any Son should they get the chance, and probably already had. Had probably killed many other people too, many innocents... Boo could accept that Chibs killed such men, but she'd never accept the killing of innocent women and children, or men for that matter, no matter what them living meant for the club. She'd rather see an innocent woman live and her man go to jail, then know that his freedom came at the expense of an innocent life. She had a good heart, a pure heart and it was one of the many things the Scotsman loved about her. "She was just a child... yeh really think I'm that cold?" he asked Boo, voice shaking in a mixture of fear and disbelief. Fear that his girl really believed as such and disbelief that she'd really think so little of him.
"It's okay Chibs, I know you didn't kill her, I knew it as soon as you said it." Boo assured Chibs as she rubbed his back. "You're too good of a man to have done something like that, even if it was for the club..." Unlike many of the rest of the club, Chibs was often able to put his heart first, was able to listen to his conscience and not just Clay's orders. If he was uncomfortable with a kill, a job, he just wouldn't take it and Clay, for the most part, accepted that and knew when and when not to give Chibs a job. The difficult kills, the jobs no one else wanted, they went to Tig and Happy. Chibs sighed in deep relief when he realised that Boo believed him, kissed her hard on the cheek and tightened his hold on her. He hated the idea that his girl believed him capable of doing something so cold... "So Jax... stopped you? Why?" Boo asked, rather curious as to why Jax had just burst into the safe house and stopped Chibs, Tig and Happy from killing the witness. She knew he'd probably be uncomfortable with the fact that the witness was a woman, practically a child, but if her death was for the good of the club than surely it was something Jax would be on board with? Jax was so loyal to the club, to Clay and the others that he didn't let anything jeopardise their future. What now was suddenly different? Boo wondered if it was something to do with Donnas death, if maybe he suspected Tig and Clay had something to do with it like Boo herself did. After Chibs had left her alone in bed that morning, she'd gone over again in her mind the details of Donna's death. She'd tried to piece together just who would want her - or indeed Opie - dead, and she found herself coming to the same conclusion again and again, no matter which way she looked at things. Clay and Tig believed that Opie had turned rat and so had decided to kill him, taking out Donna by mistake...
"Don't know darlin', he came bursting in, pointed a gun at Tig's head, then he sent me and Happy on our way and then he and Tig..." Chibs explained with a shrug of his shoulders. He didn't know what exactly was going on in Jacksons head, but frankly he didn't care. Jackson bursting in as he had meant that Chibs not only didn't have to kill the young witness but that he didn't have to be there to watch her untimely demise either. He just hoped that the VP knew what he was doing, going against Clay's orders as he had. The Scotsman was curious as to why Jax had singled out Tig out of the trio that had been sent to kill the witness – surely if he were that against the girl's death he'd have had it out with the lot of them, odds against him be dammed – but he could only assume that since Tig was the one pointing a gun at the girls head, then he'd have it out with him alone rather than get his butt kicked by Tig, Happy and Chibs alike. "Well I don't know what the hell went on between those two; they looked about ready teh murder one another though..." he added thoughtfully, for there had been a thick and brutal tension between Tig and Jax, hatred crackled between them, they had glared at once another with such venom that Chibs wouldn't be at all surprised if he found out they'd murdered one another.
"I don't understand..." Boo muttered softly, although things were becoming ever clearer to her. Tig had killed Donna by mistake, the bullets in his gun intended for Opie who he and Clay believed to be a rat. And Jax had figured it all out, just as Boo had. It was the only explanation that made sense, the only feasible reason that Jax would have stormed in and threatened Tig, looking ready to murder him, without giving so much as a thought or a look at Chibs and Happy...
"Yeh and me both Hen." Chibs replied.
SAMCRO
Slowly but surely, as Donnas grave started to be filled in, the people gathered for her funeral started to make their way back to the clubhouse where Gemma and Mary Winston were holding a wake for those closest to the family. Chibs and Boo lingered a little longer than most, both for their own reasons. Chibs still, couldn't help but picture the night Donna died in his mind, couldn't help but see Boo sprawled dead and bloody across the street, couldn't help but picture himself at her funeral, lost so completely to grief that no one could get through to him, no one could get any sense out of him. Not since Boo's overdose, since before they'd even gotten together had the Scotsman faced the possibility of losing his girl. Not losing her in the sense of her breaking up with him, but losing her because she'd died, because of some random act of violence or retaliation for some blundered gun deal. Losing her completely, with no hope of getting her back... Donnas death had made him face that, had made the dangers that were a constant threat to his girl all the more real. He was determined that no such thing as Donnas death would ever happen to his girl, he was going to make sure of that. He was going to protect her from harm, from danger, no matter what. Because if she died, his beautiful wee Hen, there'd be no reason for him to exist anymore, no reason for his being. He'd not be able to survive without his Boo and so he was going to do whatever it took to protect her and keep her safe.
Boo on the other hand, although grieving somewhat for the woman she barely knew, was lost to her own thoughts and speculations. Jax's strange behaviour at the funeral, him turning up battered and bruised, looking like he'd been out all night half way through, and merely kissing a flower and placing it atop of Donnas' coffin before departing with Tara had only heightened her suspicions' about Tig's involvement in her death. It was becoming increasingly obvious to her that Tig had played some part in Donnas tragic demise. Jax's behaviour, his fight with Tig the night before, the way he glared across at Clay and Tig as though he hated them... none of it made sense unless Tig had, on Clay's orders, followed Opie's truck intending to kill his brother for apparently ratting on the club and killed Donna by mistake with Jackson working it all out to boot. Boo didn't care much if Tig had killed Donna, not really, she knew what his job entailed and knew that he often had to do things he rather wouldn't she just wished he'd said something to her. She'd asked him outright if Clay had ordered him to take out Opie and he'd assured her that he hadn't... He'd lied to her and Boo couldn't quite come to terms with that. She and Tig never lied to one another, they had the utmost trust and understanding in one another and Tig knew this. There was no reason for him to have kept the truth from Boo, no reason at all, she would have understood, like she always did. She wouldn't have judged him. But now she did, she judged him and suddenly thought so very little of the man who she'd placed on a pedestal from just about her first day in Charming. He'd lied to her, broken the trust they had between themselves and Boo didn't know quite how to handle that. So she decided that she'd give her guardian one last chance to be truthful with her, knowing how heavy the burden on his shoulders would be. She owed him that if nothing else. She just didn't know what she'd do if he lied to her again.
"I'm not going to come back to the clubhouse with you guys, I'm just going to go home and get some rest okay?" Boo informed Chibs with a tired sigh, rubbing at her eyes as she feigned a yawn. She knew if she told Chibs she was feeling ill he'd insist on coming home with her, preventing her from confronting Tig, but if she told him she was tired then he'd simply let her go home and rest while he joined the rest of the club at the clubhouse for a not so quite drink in memory of Donna.
"Yeh alright darlin'?" Chibs asked, a little concerned, as he wrapped his arms around Boo's waist and pulled her close, needing the reassurance that only holding her close would bring him, feeling her in his arms, warm and alive, breathing in her smell; sweet, reassuring and familiar. He needed to hold her and know that she was safe and well, alive and still his. Boo leaned into her man, held him back just as tight, knowing him well enough to know that he needed that, that he was yet again worrying about losing her, about her dying and putting her in the ground for all eternity. Silly paranoid Scotsman! Although she could understand his fear, his worries completely. She felt the same way every time he went out on a run, every time she heard that a SAMCRO Son had been injured... she always managed to convince herself that Chibs was dying, or that he'd died. She feared it every time and without question, it was horrible, utterly crushing, but the relief in knowing her man was okay always made the fear worth it.
"Yeah just... haven't slept much of late." She assured Chibs with a nod of her head, feigning another yawn before making the soft mewing sounds she always made she was sleepy nuzzling up to the crook of Chibs neck like she was moments away from falling asleep. Chibs chuckled affectingly and kissed her on the forehead, clearly buying her lame excuse of being tired. Boo was thankful for that, she hated lying to Chibs but knew she'd get no truth from Tig is he tagged along too. Knew that Chibs had utter and blind trust in his brothers', in Tig and Clay. He wouldn't appreciate Boo accusing his president and Sergeant at Arms of accidently murdering Opie's wife. Even if she was his Ol' Lady. "I'll see you at home later okay?" she sighed heavily, dragged herself away from Chibs embrace before flashing him a quick smile and pecking him on the lips.
"Aye Hen, feel better okay?" Chibs nodded kissing Boo on the cheek. Boo grinned and nodded at him before turning on her heel and heading to where she'd parked her car. Chibs could tell there was something bothering his girl but he put it down to a combination of grief and lack of sleep. While she'd never been close to Donna her death seemed to have him Boo hard, seemed to have really troubled her. Which seemed to be contributing to her lack of sleep as much as Chibs did... In the days since they'd decided to start trying for a baby they'd really tried for a baby. There was something about the fact that they were trying to get pregnant, that they were trying to make life that had them all over each other, all the time. Or maybe they were just taken advantage of a brilliant excuse to have a lot of sex... "Love yeh darlin'." Chibs called after Boo, raising his hand in farewell when Boo turned to face him, a grin on her lips, eyes sparkling in that way they did every time he told her that he loved her.
"Love you too." Boo replied, waving at Chibs before turning and heading to her car. She knew Tig well enough to know that he wasn't going to the clubhouse like everyone else; he was going home where he could be alone. He'd not want to be around everyone, around Opie, his children, Piney and Mary after what he'd done. He'd want to just sit at home in the dark, curtains drawn, bottle of whiskey in his hand and a sorry expression on his face. He'd sit like that and drink himself into oblivion, until what he'd done was just a hazy blur of colour and pain at the back of his mind, until he just passed out... It was Tig's way of dealing with things and it always had been. "Tig?" Boo called out as she let herself into Tig's darkened apartment. She knew he was in there, although she hadn't seen his bike in the lot, the sharp harsh scent of whiskey hung heavy in the air, thick with clouds of cigar and pot smoke. "It's me, Boo..." Boo added, knowing that although Tig couldn't have been home for much longer than ten minutes, he'd been home more than long enough to lose himself to whatever he was feeling inside, regret and anguish, grief, remorse... He'd be totally lost to it. As Boo predicted, Tig was sitting on his couch, a bottle of whiskey in one hand – already half finished – and a cigar in the other, a small lamp being the only source of light in the room. His dark, hooded eyes stared out into the room vacantly and didn't register the addition of another person in the room despite the fact that Boo walked straight past. He continued to sit there, vacant and lost in himself, staring out into nothingness until Boo rested her hand on his knee, squeezing her fingers tight to get his attention.
"Hey kid." Tig drawled after a second, turning to face the brunette the faintest trace of a smile on his lips. He'd been expecting Boo to show up since... well, since the night Donna had died actually. He was surprised it had taken her so long to turn up at his apartment. Knowing Boo like he did he knew she'd suspect him as having some hand in Donnas death, especially since just a few nights previously she'd asked him if he had been ordered by Clay to take out Opie. He had to convince her that he'd played to part in Donna's death, had to make her believe that someone else had tried to gun down Opie and taken out his wife by mistake. It was bad enough than Jax knew about Tig and Clay's mistake, Piney too, having Boo know too would only make things even worse for Tig, for Clay and for the club.
"What the hell happened to you?" Boo demanded softly as she moved the lamp closer to Tig so that she could get a better look at his face, bruised and cut up, recently so. The bruising on his cheeks was faint but purple and red, recent and the cut on his forehead fresh, still raw, barely scabbed over. "Chibs said... did Jax do this?" she went on as she reached out and ran a finger over the wound on Tig's forehead. Tig shuddered softly at her touch, nodded once, curt and quick. "Why?" Boo asked, jerking her hand back. Although she already knew why, she just wanted to hear Tig say it. Wanting him to admit that Jackson had beaten the crap out of him because he'd accidently killed Donna...
"He didn't want me killing that witness is all." Tig shrugged near emotionlessly, dark eyes cloudy with the amount he'd had to drink in such a short amount of time looking anywhere and everywhere but in Boo's eyes. He could never look her in the eyes when he was lying to her... "What with her being just a kid and all." Tig added, taking a long swig of his whiskey before turning away from Boo, looking out into nothingness again. He didn't even have it in himself to even try and lie to Boo believably.
"No, it's more than that!" Boo snapped irritably, angry with Tig for both lying to her and for telling such a shitty and obvious lie. If it all came down to Jackson not wanting Tig to murder the witness than he wouldn't have pulled a gun on Tig, he wouldn't have just attacked his Sergeant at Arms. Happy and Chibs alike would have had to deal with him, would have been on the receiving end of his wrath. Which lead Boo to believe that he'd been out for Tig from the off, that he too had come to the realisation that Tig had accidently killed Donna and gone to confront him about it. "He would have had it out with Chibs and Happy too, not just you." Boo went on, snatching Tig's whiskey from his hand. She didn't care that Tig had killed Donna, not really. She understood why he'd had to, knew almost as well as he did what his place amongst the club meant for him, she just wanted him to be honest with her. They didn't have secrets, her and Tig, and they weren't about to start now.
"Yeah well he just had it out with me okay?" Tig replied with a shrug of his shoulders, discarding his cigar in the astray and standing up before sauntering around the room and dragging his fingers through his air in frustration, breathing in and out through his nose as he tried to keep his cool. Boo knew he was lying to her, knew that he'd killed Donna and knowing her, she wasn't going to drop the subject until she got the truth out of him. But he couldn't ever let her learn that truth, had to convince her otherwise. If she believed that he killed Donna, believed it and knew it for certain, then the consequences would be dire. She'd not be able to keep it from Chibs and Chibs wouldn't be able to keep the truth from his brothers... then soon word would get out that the mother charters president and Sergeant at Arms had tried to kill a brother behind the clubs back and taken out his wife by mistake. It was the sort of thing that would kill the club; not just SAMCRO but every goddamn charter along with it.
"Tig..." Boo muttered as she watched Tig wander aimlessly around the room, doing his utmost best to steer clear of her, to avoid her gaze. "Did you kill Donna?" she asked after a moment, knowing she had to be direct and just ask Tig outright. It was her only real shot at getting an honest answer out of him. How was she meant to get the truth out of him when she skirted around the issue in the first place? Tig stopped pacing around at once, leaned against the wall, his hands flat against the light blue wallpaper, his back to her, but didn't say a thing. "Tell me the truth please, I understand why... I mean I can understand why you did what you did." Boo insisted as she got to her feet. If Tig could just tell her the truth, just let it all out then things would be much easier for him. He was obviously tormented, plagued by what he had done so why could he not just let it all out, why could he not just tell Boo and have that shoulder to cry on that he so obviously needed? "Why you made such a terrible mistake." Boo concluded, placing her hand on Tig's shoulder, squeezing it tight in reassurance. Tig shrugged it off at once, turned with a heavy sigh and put a hand on either of Boo's shoulders', looked deep into her water filled blue orbs.
"Boo..." he sighed, knowing he'd really have to try with his lies to get her believing them, knowing that he'd have to look her dead in the eyes and hold her stare, keep his voice from wavering or his face from falling. Knew he had to believe his own words. It was the only way she was going to believe him, because she always knew when he was lying, always. If Tig could believe his own lies than maybe Boo would too.
"Just tell me Tig, please." Boo interrupted, not interested in any excuse or bullshit story Tig had to say. All she wanted was the truth, the truth that she already knew but wanted to hear direct from Tig himself and she was going to get it out of him. "Did you kill Donna, thinking she was Opie? Because you thought Opie to be a rat?" she asked. She didn't need to say that she knew he was lying, that she knew the truth already for she could see in Tig's eyes that this was something he already knew, saw it in the pain that flashed across his eyes at her questions, pain that darkened his blue orbs further still, put sadness in them, regret.
"No kid, I didn't." Tig said firmly, not once breaking eye contact with Boo, his fingers gripped tighter still on her shoulders as if this would help drive home what he was saying, as if it would make her believe his lies a little better. "It looks like Donna was killed by the Mexicans!" he added, spinning the line that he and Clay were planning to use on Opie and the rest of the club once it came time for retaliation. They knew they couldn't pin Donna's death on the Niners, not after Jax and Piney confronted Laroy. "Some wetback filth rolled up behind her and killed her because of what went down with the Niners the other day!" he went on, spitting his words as though he were disgusted with the Mayans when really his disgust was for himself. For not believing his brother, for killing Donna and for lying to Boo. Tig had never hated himself more than in that moment, he was a lying murdering scumbag that deserved to be locked away for what he had done, that deserved to be stripped off his patch and ink and excommunicated, banished from the MC. But for the good of his brothers, of Opie, the club, everyone – Boo included – he couldn't let anyone know what he had done, couldn't let Boo believe it either. He'd just have to live with it, with his hatred for himself. Better that than the whole club going to shit, every member's lives along with it. "They think we double crossed them alright! They were out for revenge." Tig continued, keeping eye contact with Boo despite the fact that it hurt him so to do so, despite the fact that he had to watch tears roll down her cheeks, see the pain of betrayal mar her pretty little face. "I did not kill Donna." He insisted, giving Boo shoulders a quick shake for good measure. He hated lying to Boo, he really did, but it was a necessary evil and one day, she'd understand that and forgive him for it.
"Tig, you don't need to lie to me." Boo said, not believing for a moment Tig's words. Nothing he had to say was going to convince her of anything other than what she already knew; that Clay had ordered Tig to take out Opie – behind the clubs back – for being a rat and that he'd taken out Donna by mistake."It's me, Boo, not Chibs or Juice or Bobby." She added, for Tig could lie to his brothers all he liked, he did it all the time, but he could never lie to Boo. He told her everything, he always had and for the life of her Boo couldn't understand why now was any different. Sure Donna's death was a major fuck up, it was bad, but that was no reason for Tig to lie to her! "I'll understand you know I will, just tell me." Boo concluded staring deep into Tig's eyes, imploring him to just tell her the truth, to stop lying to her and come clean about what he had done. Tig however, was hell-bent on keeping the truth from her.
"I swear to you kid, on your own goddamn life, that I didn't kill Donna." He said firmly, eyes breaking focus with Boo's when he swore his words to be true on her life. He just couldn't look her in the eye and outright lie to her when he swore his words to be true on her life. It was like he valued the lie he was telling over her life, like he'd willingly take the life of the girl he saw as his daughter if it meant keeping the truth to himself. Boo, unable to stand there and listen to Tig lie to her a moment longer shrugged his hands free from her shoulders and turned on her heel and fled the apartment, angry tears spilling down her cheeks, her heart aching with the knowledge that Tig was lying to her. It hurt more than she believed possible to have Tig lie to her, mostly because she'd always believed that he'd be open and honest with her, that he'd never lie to her and that she'd never believed that he would. Such a betrayal stung deep, the lack of trust he seemed to have in her breaking her heart. "Boo!" Tig called out as he attempted to chase her out of the apartment. But Boo just slammed the door in his face and kept going, not stopping until she was in the car and halfway up the street where she simply pulled over and wept.
I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter; I've been looking forward to getting to the end of season 1 and season 2 for a while. Big stuff planned for this season!
As always; reviews would be loved! They are extremely motivational and make my writing more than worthwhile.