THE ADVENTURES OF A CONSULTING TIME LORD

by Soledad

Episode 03 – A Study in Pink

Disclaimer: Both Dr. Who and Sherlock belong to the BBC. I'm just borrowing them to have some fun.

Author's note: The various artefacts on Ianto's inventory list have been identified courtesy of the Props list on the Sherlockology website.

Part 25 – Inventory

"How is the 221B project going?" Mycroft Holmes asked from his butler… archivist… librarian… whatever, who'd come to fetch him from the Diogenes Club.

"Excellently, sir," Ianto politely held the door for him open, so that he could settle in comfortably. "Mrs. Hudson was more than willing to let me move the things of your…" he paused for a significant moment before continuing, "brother into the flat already. She might even be gently persuaded to allow us to replace that truly awful mauve wallpaper in the living room, as long as she wouldn't have to pay for the redecoration."

"Consider it covered," Mycroft said in a somewhat bored tone; then a warning glance appeared in his eyes. "And be watchful with those emphatic little pauses of yours. Sherlock will notice them. He's not an idiot, you know."

"If you say so, sir," Ianto replied with bland disinterest.

Mycroft closed his eyes for a moment. He had nothing against a well-nurtured grudge, but Ianto really needed to be more subtle about it. Not that people would wonder why he disliked Sherlock – he wouldn't be the only one – but they would wonder why he, as Sherlock's brother tolerated such a behaviour from the side of someone who worked for the family.

"Do you have a list of the items that supposedly have belonged to Sherlock for a decade?" he then asked, deciding to discuss Ianto's behaviour in depth another time.

Ianto wordlessly handed his boss his smartphone with said list displayed on the small screen before starting the engine. There was, most efficiently, a picture linked to each item on the list, sparing Mycroft the necessity to physically take a look at them – or at the flat itself.

"A Prior ZoomMaster65 microscope," Mycroft murmured. "Base model… good choice, very good choice indeed. There are fancier models, but with a magnification between 3.5x and 225x, coupled with the choice of three different base stands, one can study almost any specimen with this one."

"Sometimes you just can't beat the classics, sir," Ianto commented.

"Very true," Mycroft scrolled down the list, ignoring such irrelevant things as furniture, floor lamps and mirrors. Then something small-ish caught his eye. "A black globe? That's unusual."

"It's free spinning and very decorative, sir," Ianto pointed out the advantages of said item. "And the dial on top allows one to calculate daylight hours around the world, which is suitably useful for detective work, I'm told. Besides, shouldn't be a Time Lord – even a former one – always conscious of, you know, time?"

Mycroft closed his eyes for a painful moment. "Mr. Jones, has anyone told you that your sense of humour is of the most atrocious sort?"

Ianto shrugged. "Jack seemed to like it, sir."

"Yes, well, I'd thank you if you didn't compare me with Jack Harkness, Captain of the worst puns and innuendo," Mycroft said dryly. "And while we're at it, what's moved you to purchase a bust of Goethe for my brother?"

"I thought he'd perhaps identify with Goethe's renown as a polymath, since he seems to believe he knows everything better than other people," Ianto replied. "I also got him an annotated copy of Goethe's The Theory of Colours, in which the author examines the reactions and perceptions of humans to colour. Thought he might find it interesting."

"I see," Mycroft said slowly. "You are aware of the fact, of course, that Gallifreyans have different perceptions of light and colour?"

"Quite so, sir," Ianto said. "But you've both got human bodies now. Knowing how he's supposed to react might help him to actually do so, even if his subconscious happens to send him different signals."

"That's an excellent idea," Mycroft admitted, slightly annoyed that it hadn't come from him. "And I like the periodic table and the photo of Mendeleyev. Nice touch. Nice touch indeed."

"Well, you gave him an avid interest in chemistry, sir," Ianto reminded him, "not to mention a somewhat explosive history of disastrous experiments. I just added the background details."

"Well done, Mr. Jones, well done," Mycroft scrolled further down, frowned and took a second look at the next item. "Can you tell me what on Earth is a bison skull doing mounted on the wall of my brother's future living room? A black bison skull, wearing headphones?"

Ianto chuckled. "Anthea had to hide the surveillance cameras somewhere, sir."

"I hate to point out the obvious to you, but that's probably the first place where he'll be checking," Mycroft said.

"Exactly," Ianto replied. "Which is why the actual surveillance devices – tiny little Torchwood-issue ones – are hidden within the skull itself, providing us with an almost 360-degree view of the living room through the eye and nose openings."

"You're a sneaky bastard, Ianto," Mycroft said with a touch of genuine admiration.

He could see Ianto's smile in the side mirror. "I do my best, sir."

"How did you get a black bison skull anyway?" Mycroft then asked.

Ianto smiled again. "It was a fairly ordinary skull when I purchased it online, sir. We had to spray it black, though, with a special isolation layer, so that interferences from the telly or the mobile phones won't compromise the working of the cameras."

"Good thinking," Mycroft gave the portable, wide-screen Samsung LE 32B450 LCD-TV an appreciating glance. "Nice telly, by the way."

"Thank you, sir. Some of the old furniture from the main living room has been moved downstairs to the 221C flat, as it wasn't fitting for a young man. After the suicide/murder case it's unlikely that Mrs. Hudson would be able to rent the flat out for a while anyway. And if she can, at least there would be a couple of comfortable armchairs that previously weren't."

"Good," Mycroft said. "Has my dear brother agreed to take the flat? He can be… obnoxious sometimes, just to be contrary."

"There are things not even the chameleon arch can change, I see," Ianto replied with a grim smile. "He didn't give me a final answer yet. I think mostly because he's reluctant to accept financial help from you and can't touch his funds without your approval. But he seemed to like the place, so it's a question of finding a suitable flatmate, I think."

"In which case we should keep a close watch on all potential candidates," Mycroft said.

Ianto nodded. "But of course, sir. Mummy and Anthea are looking into it. Having control over the whole CCTV network is such a useful thing. Even if it is, you know, basically illegal."

"Legality is fluid," Mycroft replied airily.

As the traffic lights had just turned red and he had to stop the car anyway, Ianto allowed himself to turn back and give his boss a direct look. A rather sober one.

"That's exactly what worries me, sir," he said. "Wasn't that how Torchwood fell? A precedence has already been made; what makes you sure that you'll always be able to keep things under control?"

~TBC~