"Noah-"
"I know, I know," Noah laughed as he held his hands up in surrender. "I have to take off my shoes. See doing it right now." Even as he spoke he wriggled his feet out of his shoes which were caked with mud from outside. He placed the offending footwear on the mat specifically used for such purposes and made his way into the house where he proceeded in wrapping his husband into a tight embrace. "See I do follow the rules."
Luke kissed his husband's nose before pulling out of the embrace to retrieve the bags Noah had left at the door. It was the day before Thanksgiving, exactly a week after Noah's dad had been officially sent to prison. They were throwing a dinner party for their friends, and to Luke it almost felt like déjà vu. There was heavy rain, and it was expected to be a very dreary night. Luke had thought about cancelling the evening, but Noah and James talked him into going on with his plans. Robbie was excited about Thanksgiving, and truthfully Luke was looking forward to enjoying the holiday.
"Driving wasn't too bad was it?" Luke asked as he set the items on the counter. Noah was leaning on the island watching him a thoughtful expression on his face.
"It wasn't raining this hard when I left," he admitted. "But it was really bad when I came out the market. I was soaked, and I cranked up the heat just to dry off a little."
"Sorry," Luke said distracted by the ingredients in front of him.
"Don't be," Noah came up behind him and placed his hands on Luke's waist. "You need to relax," he whispered into his husband's ear. "Tonight is going to go perfectly okay?"
Luke tried to do as Noah instructed. He wanted to relax. This was the first calm day they had had in a long time and he wanted to enjoy it. He couldn't help but be anxious though. No matter how carefully he planned things something always seemed to go wrong. It was inevitable really. As if he wasn't meant to have a holiday free of peril.
"I want to believe you," he said turning in Noah's arms. "I want everything to be good tonight."
"It will," Noah insisted leaning in to kiss Luke softly. "Dinner is delicious, and you are happy and healthy and we're together. That alone makes this a great night."
Luke held Noah close and tried to relax. He knew his husband was right…and worrying himself to death was not going to help at all. He shared one last kiss with Noah before turning his attention back on the food. Noah went to take a shower, letting Luke know that he would be back to help in thirty minutes tops.
He could hear his husband faintly singing in their bedroom, and he just knew that he was laying out his clothes before disappearing into the bathroom. Luke focused on the food making sure everything was just right and ready for their guests. He turned the burners down low and slipped out of the kitchen. He could hear Noah singing in the bathroom, trying to make himself heard over the spray of water that was surely hitting his face. Luke smiled as he slipped out of his own clothes. He missed listening to Noah sing, and there was something else he missed even more.
Quietly he slipped into the bathroom and closed the door taking a moment to watch Noah's silhouette behind the shower curtain. His husband was beautiful and he couldn't believe he had deprived himself for so long.
Noah Felt arms encircle his waist as a body pressed against him, one hand reaching down to grasp his cock in nimble fingers. He moaned as Luke's wet hand moved up and down the shaft, reveling in the feel of Luke's body pressed against his. "I didn't know you were going to join me," he gasped as Luke used his free hand to cup his butt cheeks, his fingers sliding between the crack until he found what he craved. "You're trying to kill me," Noah moaned as a digit entered him. He had forgotten how good Luke was at turning him into jelly.
"I don't want to kill you, Noah," Luke said his voice husky as he continued to pump. I just want to love you."
"We don't have time for that," Noah argued weakly. "Our guests will be here…" his words were lost as he felt Luke replace the fingers. He forgot all about their guests, and it certainly didn't bother either of them that the water was slowly losing warmth. The only thing that mattered in that moment was each other and the passion that always loomed between them. There was always time for that.
Luke ran his hand through his still damp hair one last time before turning away from the mirror. Noah was in the kitchen checking on dinner and their guests would be arriving any minute now. He still had a satisfied smile on his face and he was sure that by the end of the evening everyone would know what he and Noah had been up to. He was far too happy to care.
The doorbell rang just as he entered the living room and he smiled when he saw his little brother standing at the door with baby Lucas in his arms. The baby was wearing a bright yellow rain slicker, while Robbie had the hood of his sweatshirt covering his head. Luke stepped aside to allow his brother to enter, stopping him on the mat so he could remove his shoes. "Let me take him," he said reaching out to take the squirming baby.
"I got a call from my mom today," Robbie said as he relinquished his hold on his nephew.
"Oh yeah?" Luke gestured for Robbie to follow him into the living room. "How did that go?"
"I didn't really want to talk to her," Robbie admitted. "I am not even sure why she called or what she thought I would say. Do you think it was rude of me not to say much? I mean I really don't want anything to do with her anymore. That doesn't make me bad does it?"
"Not at all," Luke shook his head as they settled down on the couch. He made quick work of Lucas's raincoat and allowed him to crawl around on the floor while he focused on Robbie. "I can tell that your mother's actions hurt you a lot, just as they hurt James. And I am sure your feelings for your father are no better. You should never be ashamed of how you feel little brother. Did she try to make you feel guilty for not talking to her?"
"Yeah."
"Do you trust me when I tell you that you shouldn't feel bad?"
Robbie nodded, but Luke could tell that whatever his mother had said to him it really rattled him a bit. He placed an arm around his little brother and gave him a hug which you younger boy gladly accepted. They were just pulling out of the embrace when Noah entered the room and saved Little Luke from his attempt to go under inn table.
"Just where do you think you're going little guy?" He said as he blew raspberries at the baby who laughed with glee.
"The little man thinks he can crawl into small spaces without anyone noticing," Luke chuckled as he watched his husband toss their godson up in the air
"He couldn't wait to see you, Noah," Robbie piped up managing a smile as he too looked on. Noah blew one last raspberry before cuddling Lucas in his embrace and bringing him over to the couch. He settled down in the recliner with the little guy on his lap, his attention focused on his husband and their little brother.
"And what about you, Robbie?" he asked teasingly. "Were you eager to see me too?"
"Well," Robbie smiled, "I always love seeing you and Luke. I'm excited for Thanksgiving dinner."
"I sure hope so; Luke has been fixing a formidable feast worthy of his grandmother in there."
"The only thing missing is the Hubbard squash," Luke added with a smile.
"The Hubbard Squash?" Robbie asked with a frown.
"You'll see," Luke and Noah chimed in unison.
"I have yet to see this famed squash myself, Robbie," Noah chuckled, but it's supposed to be a Snyder rite of passage so to speak. Maybe Grandma Emma will let you help a little with the cutting."
"That would be cool."
"What would be cool?" James asked as he and Maddie entered the house. Maddie was holding a casserole dish in her hands and James balanced a cake box in his hand as he closed and locked the door.
"Noah said that I could help cut the Hubbard Squash tomorrow," Robbie explained. Luke stood to help with the food and James helped Maddie out of her coat. "And Lucas here decided he wanted to find a hiding spot under the inn table."
"That sounds like my son," James laughed. "The rain is still coming down out there," he said as he moved to join the boys on the couch. Maddie scooped her baby out of Noah's arms and started talking to him as she headed into the kitchen to talk to Luke. Peals of laughter met her ears from behind and she smiled, glad to see that this little party was getting off to a good start.
"Something smells good in here."
"Hey," Luke closed the oven door and stood up straight smiling as Lucas reached out his arms for him. "Hey there little guy, you couldn't stay away from your favorite uncle could you? No you couldn't," he cooed and took the baby into his embrace. Lucas blew a raspberry in his godfather's face and Luke laughed and looked at his friend. "I think everything is going to be ready soon."
"How are you feeling?"
"I'm fine," Luke said sincerely. He held on to Lucas with one arm as he checked the pots on the stove. "I'm doing better than fine. I think…I think tonight's going to be okay."
"Of course it is, Luke. It's just us…there's no one here to ruin it. And the storm is just a storm."
"So was the last one." His voice was so quiet that Maddie was uncertain that she had heard it. The look on her friend's face told a different story however.
"Luke," she said stepping forward to place a hand on his arm. "That was two years ago." Her voice was gentle as she spoke not wanting to dismiss her friend's fears but letting him know that he could move past them. "We're all together this time and I think this little guy is a good luck charm." Lucas giggled as his mother tickled, burying his head into his godfather's shoulder. "Nothing is going to go wrong. I need you to believe me."
Luke shifted the baby in his arms and turn to face Maddie abandoning the pots on the stove. "I want to believe you, Mads, I really do. But the last time I let my guard down it happened again. I don't like being this scared but I don't know what else to do."
"Try to relax." Maddie ran a gentle hand up and down Luke's arm as she smiled up at him. "I know this has been a rocky year, but it's almost done and we've survived it. And guess what."
"What?"
"There weren't so many hospital stays this year." She winked and Luke smiled as he rested his forehead against the baby's.
"Thanks Maddie," he said a minute later. "I needed that."
"What you need to do is hand me my baby so you can finish our scrumptious meal. What do you say Lucas are you ready to come to mommy?" The baby laughed and turned holding his arms out for his mother to take him. Luke relinquished his hold on the little one and turned his attention back to their dinner. Maddie took a seat at the table and kept him preoccupied with little anecdotes about Lucas and her classmates at school. Noah and James joined them soon after with Robbie rounding out the group keeping them entertained with stories about him and his friend Laurie.
The constant sound of chatter was enough to help Luke relax. He served up dinner and was just about to take his seat beside Noah when the lights went out. Immediately he felt Noah's hand on his arm offering comfort and protection as he settled into his chair. He heard shifting as someone got up to find candles and Maddie tried to soothe Lucas letting him know it was going to be okay.
"Let me have him," Luke said reaching out for his godson in the dark. The little guy quickly tried to wrap his chubby arms around his godfather's neck. "It's okay little guy. There's nothing to be scared about okay? The lights are out, but your uncle Noah is going to make it light again and you're safe here with all of us. We're going to protect you from the big bad storm okay?"
James couldn't help but smile as he watched Luke comfort the baby. He knew that the words were soothing, not just for little Luke, but to his namesake as well. He watched Noah return to the table with the candles and soon the room was illuminated in a soft glow. The relief that came over Luke's face was witnessed by all, but somehow James didn't think Luke cared or noticed.
"So is this the point where we say grace and go around the room telling what we're grateful for?" Robbie asked as Noah reclaimed his seat beside Luke.
"Would you like to start?" James asked his eyes gleaming in the candlelight.
"Well," Robbie started looking around at the assembled guests. If anyone would have told him his life would change so drastically this year he wasn't so sure he would have believed it. Yet here he was actually surrounded by people who cared about him and he couldn't be happier. "I'm thankful for family. And I'm glad that you didn't turn me away, Jimmy. You took me in and gave me brothers and a great sister," he smiled at Maddie. I have a family now and I'm glad we're all here together."
"That's a great sentiment, Robbie." Maddie said as James hugged his brother. "I think I can speak for all of us when I say we're glad you're here too. This has been a crazy year, and they say the first year of marriage usually is. I'm thankful that we made it through year one, and we have this little angel," she said her hand reaching out to stroke her baby's hair. "I'm also glad that my best friends are here with us this year and that we can celebrate this day together."
"I'm glad Luke is here with us," James spoke up next. "The four months you were missing just seemed to drag on endlessly, and I think we were all starting to lose faith a little. Except for this guy," he said acknowledging Noah. "He never lost faith in you, not for a minute, Luke. So anyway," he said smiling softly, "I'm thankful for family. My brothers, my beautiful wife and my son.
"I'm thankful for family too," Noah said wrapping his arm around his husband. "I'm glad that I get to share this holiday with you, and I'm glad that the grim times are over and at the end of the day you still love me." Luke turned in his chair slightly to give Noah a proper hug prompting a chorus of awwws around the table.
"It's your turn, Luke," Robbie pointed out as everyone settled down. "I bet I know what you are most thankful for though."
"Do you now," Luke asked a fond smile touching his lips.
"You're glad that you're here." For a moment Luke could only sit in wonderment as he looked around at his friends, his family. This was what it was all about for him. These were the people he wanted to get back to, the ones he couldn't live without.
"I come from a big family," he said after a long pause, "yet I still felt like something was missing. Even with love all around me I didn't feel whole somehow. I wasn't complete, that is until I found you guys. All of you have made me feel loved in ways that I never felt despite my huge family. I don't doubt even for a minute that you guys care about me and I'm eternally grateful for that, so thank you."
Noah leaned in to kiss Luke on the cheek as everyone else made a toast to Luke before starting in on the prepared feast. The evening was full of talk and laughter despite the darkness, and Luke found himself easily having a good time. He joined in the conversation, snickering at jokes and making some of his own. Robbie had seconds of sweet potatoes while Noah helped himself to more cornbread stuffing. James teased that if he ate much more he wouldn't have room for the feast they were invited to the next day. Even Little Luke got into the fun deciding that it would be a good idea to scoop up his baby food and toss it at his mommy. Luke's laughter propelled Maddie to throw sweet potatoes at him. The offending food hit Noah instead, who in turn tossed turkey at Robbie. Before long a fully fledged food fight had ensued until Luke declared that he thought they threw more food then they ate. Still he was happy and satisfied with the evening.
They cleaned up by candlelight, marveling at the fact that they somehow managed not to set the place on fire during their impromptu fight. The dishes were cleared, leftovers (if there were any left) were stored in containers and the group settled down for dessert. Little Luke fell asleep in his high chair as the adults and Robbie feasted on Caramel Pecan Apple Pie. The rain beating down on the roof set the soundtrack for the rest of the evening. James and Noah took turns telling ghost stories while Luke and Robbie huddled together pretending to be frightened in the candlelight. Maddie tended to baby Luke as he listened to her husband and her best friend try to out scare each other. The competition ended when Robbie asked about Thanksgiving at the Snyder farm. They were all excited about it, and Luke started talking animatedly about his family only stopping when he noticed that Robbie was trying to stifle a yawn.
"We should head home," James said standing from the table.
"No, not yet," Robbie whined tiredly. Luke had to chuckle, he sounded so much like little Ethan when he was sleepy.
"I think James is right," Noah added his two cents. Maddie stood and lifted the sleeping baby into her arms while James left the room to gather their coats. "Thanks for coming," Noah said embracing Maddie warmly. He pressed a soft kiss on her forehead and kissed the top of Little Luke's head.
"Thanks for a great evening," Maddie replied softly. She hugged Luke and gestured for Robbie to follow her. Luke and Noah each hugged Robbie before leading him into the living room where James was waiting with his hoodie.
"I can't believe it's still pouring," James commented.
"And the lights out still out," Luke said hugging his brother.
"It will be okay, Luke," James assured him. We're right next door if you need us." Luke nodded before stepping aside so Noah could give James a hug good bye. They followed the family out, standing just underneath the landing as they watched them trudge the few feet to their home. The only illumination was that of the flashlight James was holding in his hand.
"Come on," Noah said taking Luke's hand into his own. Before Luke could ask where they were going he felt the water on his head and looked up into the eye of the rainstorm. The cool water felt good on his flushed face and he shook his head and laughed before looking at his husband who was smiling at him. Noah's hair was already matted from the rain, but he didn't seem to care. "Do you remember the last time we did this?" He asked a mischievous look on his face.
"Actually," Luke said as he stepped closer, "As I recall we got caught in the downpour. We didn't quite walk right into it."
"Details," Noah chuckled, his arms wrapping tightly around Luke. "I just wanted to kiss you in the rain again."
Luke's hands easily found their way into Noah's matted hair as their lips met in a kiss that could only be described as sensual. It was wet and sloppy and very intense. It was all them, and Luke gloried in it. For one moment the rain was forgotten and all he could feel was his husband's growing need pressing against his own. He moaned as he felt Noah's lips pull away, a smile crossing his lips as their foreheads touched.
"I love you Noah."
They kissed again briefly before Luke felt wet lips on his nose. "Same here."
The Snyder kitchen was already buzzing when they arrived. Charlene, Angel and Emma were huddled over the stove, while Faith, Sage and Natalie tried to piece together the seating arrangement. Luke could hear cheering from the parlor and knew that the majority of the Snyder men were assembled watching the annual football game. Carly and Meg were mixing up something in a bowl all the while looking at a piece of paper which detailed one of Emma's top secret recipes. Lucinda was there as well leaning against the counter in her elegant way as she and Emma discussed their pigheaded children. Luke shook his head as he heard her mention his mother's name.
"Hello, Grandmother," he said kissing her on the cheek.
"Darling, I'm so glad you could make it," Lucinda said kissing him in return before greeting Noah, James and Maddie just the same. "And how are you, Robbie?" she asked tousling the young man's hair. "Are you ready for your first Snyder Thanksgiving?"
"Has the Hubbard Squash been cut yet?" Robbie asked. "Everything smells so good."
"Did someone mention squash," Holden asked as he entered the room.
"Hi Dad," Luke said stepping away from the group to greet his father properly. "Robbie here wants to cut the squash or at least help."
"You think you can have a firm grip on the hacksaw?" Holden teased.
"A hacksaw?" Robbie asked amazed. "You have to cut it with a saw?"
"Yep. That's why it takes more than one Snyder to do the job. Noah gets to do it this year too."
"I've been waiting for two years for this moment," Noah smiled placing a hand on Robbie's shoulder.
Luke stood by and watched as Holden continued to explain the Hubbard Squash ritual to the newest members of the family. It didn't take long for the rest of the men to troop into the kitchen, and Luke found out that Alison had to work at the hospital that evening. His eyes roamed around the crowded room as if he were seeking out one person in particular…even though he really didn't want to see her.
He felt someone tugging at his shirt and looked down to see his little brother smiling up at him. "Hey Buddy," he said scooping Ethan into his arms. "How've you been?"
"Fine," Ethan said pretending to be shy as he ducked his head into his brother's shoulder.
"Enjoying the football game with Dad?" Ethan lifted his head and nodded vigorously. "Fuball is fun!' he exclaimed. Luke laughed and squeezed him tight. He loved his baby brother. "Is Mommy coming today?" Ethan asked a few minutes later, a serious expression on his face.
"I'm sure she's coming, buddy," he said even as he prayed his mom didn't make a liar out of him. "She's probably just running a little late. What do you say we get ready to watch them cut that squash while we wait?"
"Okay," Ethan said wriggling to let Luke knew he wanted down. Luke obliged and watched the little guy run off a frown set on his face as he crossed his arms in front of him.
"You okay?" He felt Noah's hand on his shoulder and he attempted a smile as he looked at him.
"I'm trying, Noah. I really am. He just asked where Mom is…do you think she'll come?"
"If she knows what's good for her she'll show up," Noah whispered as he continued to rub the tension from Luke's shoulders. "You need to relax and enjoy yourself. Do not let your mom ruin your Thanksgiving."
"Guys come on, they're about to cut the squash!" Robbie called before they could continue their conversation.
"We're coming," They exclaimed in unison. Luke smiled as Noah wrapped his arm tighter around him and together they went to help with the squash.
Luke had to smile as Holden and Jack held the huge squash so that Noah, James and Robbie could take turns sawing into it. "Come here, Luke," Noah waved him over to the counter. "IT's only fair that you get to finish this," Noah smiled and handed the hacksaw to his husband. Luke kissed him on the cheek and gladly sawed into the squash amidst cheers from the rest of the family. It felt good to be surrounded by so many people he cared about. He had been back home for five months now, but the nagging thoughts that he would never see them again refused to go away.
"You okay Squirt?"
Luke smiled and turned to face his dad who was suddenly standing just behind him with a tower of cups in his hand. "Aren't I getting a little too old for that nickname?" He asked pretending to be exasperated.
"You will always be my squirt," Holden informed him, a smile tickling at his lips. "And I'm always going to worry about you…even when you're fifty."
"I'm going to hold you to that."
"I hope so," Holden placed a hand on his son's shoulder. "Now how are you doing, really?"
"I'm fine," Luke said shrugging his shoulders. "It just feels weird, you know? It's strange to think that I missed this, twice, and I was so scared that I would never see another Snyder Thanksgiving. And I'm here today, but I can't stop thinking about it. It's like this past few months has been nothing but a big dream and I'm still in that place-"
"Hey," Holden said cutting his son off. He placed the cups down and wrapped his son into his arms, pressing a soft kiss in his hair. "You're safe now, Kiddo. You're home where you belong, and the people who did this to you can't hurt you anymore. Not that Noah and I are going to let you out of our sights."
Luke managed a smile as he pulled away from his dad. "I know Dad, and I'm sorry…I don't want to ruin Thanksgiving with my insecurities and fears."
"You aren't ruining anything," Holden reassured him. "Come on, help me with the table." Luke followed his dad and helped finish setting up the table. The kitchen was filled with lively chatter and the tantalizing smell of Emma's cooking. Everyone was in good spirits and for the moment the only thing Luke was focused on was making sure Noah had a good time.
For his credit Noah was keeping himself preoccupied with the kids and his grandparents. He didn't go out of his way to ignore his mom, but it was obvious that he wasn't really in the mood to talk to her either. He sat between Luke and Natalie at the dinner table, with his Mother taking a seat across from him between her parents. Emma sat at the head of the table and encouraged everyone to join hands as she looked around at her huge family.
"Holden would you please say grace?" Emma asked once all hands were accounted for.
"Can I?" Luke asked looking from his grandmother to his father. Emma and Holden exchanged a look before Holden nodded his assent. Luke took a moment to look around at the assembled family, his dad was there smiling proudly beside his grandma. Seth sat beside her, with Charlene and Angel right beside him. Next came his Grandmother looking rosy and healthy next to her husband. James was beside his dad with Maddie and Little Luke next to him. Aaron was next followed by Faith with Sage, Jack, Parker and Carly bringing up the rear. Brad and Katie were there too, as was JJ who sat next to Ethan, who had insisted on taking the seat beside Luke. Lastly his eyes fell on his baby sister, and then Noah, his steadfast and sure partner. He felt like the luckiest guy in the world.
"Let's bow our heads," he said waiting for everyone to do so before he spoke again. "I don't usually put much stock in God or religion but this has been quite a year for my family and I feel the need to thank you, Lord, for bringing us together and reminding us of the spirit of family. We take strength from you today as we partake in this feast with your blessing and with the knowledge that we have made it through with your grace and your love. Thank you for helping Noah find his family, and for bringing my uncle Seth home. Thank you for Robbie and Little Lucas, and for making sure that Grandma could be here today, and thank you especially for letting me come back home."
His voice cracked at that point and he felt Noah squeezing his hand as lips touched his cheek. "Amen," Noah said his voice soft but loud enough to be heard around the table. A chorus of Amen's was heard followed by the clinking of plates and bowls as food was passed around. Noah was beaming at him as was Holden who raised a glass and mouthed the words "you did good." Luke smiled, allowed himself to relax and soon he was lost in the wonderment that was the Snyder Thanksgiving.
They were partway through dinner when the screen door opened and closed and a new couple appeared in the kitchen catching everyone's attention. Luke narrowed his eyes, while Noah held steady to his hand. James and his father glared at the couple while Lucinda remained calm and managed to place her fork in its proper spot beside her plate.
"Hello, Lily," Angel spoke up much to everyone else's surprise. "How good of you to join us."
"Mommy," Ethan and Natalie chorused together as they bounded out of their seats. They attached themselves to their mother while Faith and Luke looked on. Neither of them smiled and Faith suddenly found her sweet potatoes quite interesting.
"Lily, Damian," Emma broke the uncomfortable silence. "Would you like to join us for dinner?"
"That won't be necessary," Damian spoke up. Luke narrowed his eyes and glared at his biological father. Noah squeezed his hand and held on tight.
"Don't let him get to you," he whispered so only Luke could hear. "Just breathe, baby. Just breathe."
"We insist, Damian," Holden spoke up before the man could protest further. "The kids haven't seen their mother in a while, and they would like to spend some time with her. I'm sure you can understand wanting to be there for your kids."
The newcomers were somehow squeezed in between Lucinda and James who was none too pleased to be sitting next to Lily. Luke gave him a sympathetic look before focusing on his dinner. He was determined that his parents impromptu arrival would not ruin his Thanksgiving. After what felt like a lifetime of silence the conversations started back up again. Jack and Aaron started arguing about the game while Angel talked clothes with Carly and the kids started laughing at Parker who was intentionally being goofy. Holden was holding a conversation with Noah while James lured Luke into a discussion about ethics.
After dessert Noah, Luke and James cleared away the dishes while the kids ran off to play video games. Aaron left with a plate of food for Alison, while Lucinda insisted on having a talk with her daughter out on the porch. Jack and Carly left soon after dragging along three disappointed children. Brad and Katie looked much like the Bickersons when they left and the rest of the family was sitting in the parlor with Emma sipping coffee.
"Are you guys alright?" James asked as he put away the last of the dishes. Luke was giving the table a wipe down while Noah was folding tablecloths. James leaned against the counter and waited for one of them to answer him.
"We're good," Luke spoke first catching his brother's eye. "Tonight's been kinda fun."
"All things considered," Noah agreed as he too looked at James. "I think the evening went pretty well, don't you?"
"Are you trying to convince me, or yourselves?" James asked crossing his arms in front of him
"What do you think?" Luke asked though he was sure he knew the answer.
"I think that even though you're having a good time a part of you wants to escape so that you don't have to deal with your mother, who surprisingly is still here. And you," he turned his attention to Noah, "You can't wait to leave either because as much as you love being around your new family you're afraid your mom will approach you and want to talk about things you aren't ready to say."
"Do you think we're being silly?" Luke asked sadly. He knew there was no point denying it, James knew them too well.
"No, I think you have every right to be apprehensive, but not at the expense of your happiness. You are upset with them, rightfully so, but we live in a small town. More than likely you guys are going to run into each other…and if you're uncomfortable then you won't let yourselves relax and that's important."
"What do we do then?" Noah asked as he placed the folded cloth on the table. "Do you think we should just bite the bullet and talk to them?"
"Well I'm the last person to tell you to let go of a grudge," James replied thoughtfully. "I think you need to accept how you feel and move on. It doesn't matter what they think, or how they react to what you're doing. Your feelings are important here, and if how you feel about them hinders you having fun then it's not good. When you're ready to talk to them then you will do it. I know that without a doubt. Right now I want you to stop worrying about them and focus on you. Can you do that?"
Luke and Noah exchanged a look before focusing on their brother. He was right…he usually was when it came to them. "I think we can do that," Luke assured him.
"And I'm sure you'll let us know if we don't," Noah teased happily.
"That's what brothers are for, right?"
"Yeah," Luke said as he and Noah simultaneously came to stand beside James. James felt two pairs of lips on his cheeks before two pairs of arms wrapped him into a bear hug.
He smiled and hugged them back thinking this was an incredible feeling, and he was very thankful that he could experience it. "I love you guys too."
The weeks following Thanksgiving flew by without much fanfare. James and Maddie finished up their coursework and took their finals, while Noah and Luke finished up their schoolwork online. Robbie was doing well in school as well, and much to the surprise of his guardians he wasn't looking forward to Christmas break. The weekends found the Snyders and the McPhersons at the mall looking for anything to make Little Luke's first Christmas special.
Robbie asked Luke to help him find a gift for his friend, Laurie. Since his friend loved to read as much as he did, they went to the bookstore and ended up spending the whole afternoon just browsing the shelves and talking about some of their favorite books.
"I was beginning to wonder if we had to send out a search party," Noah teased when they met up with him in Old Town.
"Oh hush," Luke said swatting him playfully. "It's no different from when you get lost in the video store."
"Touché," Noah laughed. "I got your coffee for you and hot chocolate for you, Robbie. Did you find something for Laurie?"
"The boxed set of the Chronicles of Narnia," Robbie responded. "Everyone should have a copy of that."
"Very true," Noah agreed. "So what else did you buy?"
"Can't tell," Robbie said laughing. "I don't want Luke to maim me."
"Who's maiming who?" a new voice joined the party. Everyone looked up just in time to see James slipping into a chair. Maddie was pushing Little Luke in his stroller which was laden down with bags.
"Robbie was just protecting my secrets," Luke explained. "There will be no maiming, I promise."
"These two just spent five hours in the bookstore," Noah snickered.
"We can't talk," Maddie said adjusting Lucas's hat. "We were in the baby store for quite a bit of time, and then we had to get some music for the Christmas party."
"Did you get the sing along versions," Luke asked a twinkle in his eye. "I want to hear Noah sing carols again this year."
"You're singing too," Noah pointed a finger at him."
"We'll all sing," James laughed. "I think Luke is just in love with your voice."
"Ain't that the truth," Luke sighed happily. Noah leaned over to tweak his nose causing Luke to swat his hand away even as he laughed. "Dork!"
Maddie, James and Robbie all laughed as Luke and Noah continued to banter at each other. It was nice to see them like this; so happy and carefree without many worries. James was happy that they seemed to be taking his advice. The only thing they were focusing on was them and what they wanted. That was as it should be.
"Oh my god!" Robbie screamed sounding much younger than his twelve years. James smiled behind the coffee cup he held in his hand and winked at his wife who was trying to stifle a giggle. "Oh my god, Jimmy," Robbie called, "Did you really do this for me?"
"We're in here, buddy," James chuckled even as he stood to get Robbie something to eat. "Stop yelling you'll wake…" before he could even say the words Lucas let out a cry which immediately brought Maddie to her feet.
"Thank you so much," Robbie said bursting into the room hugging Maddie before he would allow her to leave. "This is the best Christmas ever. I can't believe you guys got me a computer!"
"It was your brother's idea," Maddie said smiling at her brother-in-law. "All three of them had a hand in it. 'We'll have to tinker around with it, but let me go get your nephew first." She kissed Robbie's forehead before going to get the baby. She could hear Robbie chattering to James as she headed to the nursery as she left and she couldn't help the contented sign that escaped her lips.
"Merry Christmas little man," she said as she lifted her son out of his crib. "You wanted to be a part of the action didn't you?" Little Luke quieted down almost immediately and snuggled into his mother's arms. She laid him down on the changing table, talking to him as she wrapped him in a new diaper. "Later your uncles are going to come over and we're going to have a huge Christmas party, how does that sound? Just our little family. Your grandpa will be here, and grandma too, you'll like that won't you? I'm sure you will." She tickled her son who laughed gaily and waved his arms in the air.
James and Robbie were still talking when Maddie made her way to the living room. James was explaining all the programs that had been loaded onto the computer while Robbie listened intently. "What happened to breakfast," Maddie teased.
"He practically swallowed it whole," James laughed as he typed in the info needed to set up the internet connection. "He was very eager to try out his new toy."
"Hey Lucas," Robbie said moving towards Maddie to take the baby out of her arms. "How are you doing this morning huh? Are you ready for Christmas? Do you want to see the tree?" James looked away from the computer a smile crossing his lips as he and Maddie watched Robbie show Lucas the sparkling lights. "No, Lucas no pulling on the ornaments," Robbie laughed as he reprimanded his nephew.
Maddie walked over to her husband and slipped her arms around his neck, kissing him softly on the cheek. "I love you, you know that?"
"I love you too," James' voice was soft as he shifted and pulled his wife into his lap for a proper kiss. "Merry Christmas."
"Merry Christmas," Maddie wrapped her arms around her husband's neck and pressed their heads together and they shared another kiss even as Robbie placed baby Lucas on the floor, snagged the camera and snapped a picture. Lucas crawled over to his mom and dad and Robbie snapped more pics as James scooped the baby into his arms. It made Robbie smile to see them like that. This was his family, and he couldn't have been happier. It really was a merry Christmas.
Luke sighed contentedly as he settled back in the passenger's seat. He looked over at his husband who was watching the road straight ahead. Without taking his eyes off the road Noah reached out to take Luke's hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. After Christmas morning at the farm Noah had insisted that they take his new truck for a spin. His Christmas gift from Luke; a Blue 2010 Dodge Ram, was fully equipped with snow tires and everything inside was state of the art and brand new. The new truck smell filled his nose, and he was cheerfully singing along with the Christmas music blasting from his new stereo.
It felt good to have his own vehicle again, and he was glad that he was sharing the moment with the best husband in the world. It wasn't lost on him just how huge a deal this was for Luke. Neither would soon forgot the accident that left him in the hospital two years before, but in the long run having two vehicles would be beneficial in the future, especially when they really got their company off the ground.
"Are you okay?" he asked daring to take his eyes off the road when they were at a stoplight. Luke was smiling at him and he couldn't help but think, not for the first time, that his husband was beautiful and he was very lucky.
"I'm good," Luke nodded. "It's starting to snow, and I'm good. I love you, Noah."
The light changed green and Noah focused again on the road ahead. He carefully maneuvered the truck through the streets of Oakdale getting them back to the highway that would take them back to Mile High Road. "I love you too," he said as he pulled safely into their driveway beside Luke's car. He took off his seatbelt and leaned over to give his husband a kiss. "Merry Christmas."
Luke bit his lip and wrapped his arms around Noah's neck pulling him into a warm hug. He buried his head in the nape of Noah's neck and held on for a long moment just enjoying the feel of being in this space, Noah's personal space, in Noah's truck…this had been a big step indeed.
"Come on," Noah said sometime later pulling away to get out of the truck. "Let's go inside. We have movies to watch before we head over to Maddie and James' place. What time are they expecting us?"
"Four," Luke replied closing the passenger side door. He looked up into the sky and stuck out his tongue to catch a falling snowflake on his tongue. Noah leaned against the truck and watched him lovingly. It was nice to see Luke so carefree. When he realized he was being stared at Luke turned and blushed which made Noah chuckle. "I wasn't sure I'd ever see the snow again," he admitted shyly.
Noah wrapped his arms around him and kissed his cheek. His heart was full of love for his husband, and he didn't know how to convey it in words. As they entered the house he stopped intentionally under a sprig of mistletoe and pulled Luke into a deep meaningful kiss. It was a year since they returned home from Italy, and he was still amazed that they had made it to this day. So much had happened; good things as well as not so good ones. People had come into their lives and others were taken away, but all in all Noah was most grateful that he would be ending another year with his love. He couldn't have asked for a better Christmas gift.
"Okay who's turn is it?" Maddie giggled as Luke finished his rendition of jingle bells, complete with silly voices, jingling bells and a laughing Lucas as his orchestra.
"IT's Noah's turn," Robbie said even as Noah handed him the video camera he had been holding. He was recording the performances for prosperity. Robbie set the camera on record and placed it on the mantle by the Christmas tree. Noah smiled and lifted Little Luke into his arms as he watched the others move around him.
Maddie was picking up wrapping paper to stuff into the trash bag James was holding. He smiled as James dropped the bag causing the paper to spill out on to the floor. James smiled sheepishly and pulled Maddie into his arms before she could fuss. Luke was over by the Christmas tree with Robbie shaking presents they had yet to open. Robbie was laughing as he took each box Luke gave him to examine himself before placing it beside him. Noah shook his head and kissed his godson on the forehead before settling into a chair where he could watch all the action. As he sat cuddling the baby he began to hum, knowing the perfect song to match the scene playing out before him.
"Have yourself a merry little Christmas"
Robbie handed Luke a gift which took him by surprise. Robbie nodded in answer to Luke's silent question and Luke settled down like a little kid to open the package.
"Let your heart be light
From now on, our troubles will be out of sight
Luke let out an exclamation of joy and held up his gift from Robbie before pulling the younger boy into a bear hug.
Have yourself a merry little Christmas
Make the yule-tide gay
From now on, our troubles will be miles away
James and Maddie finished with the wrapping paper and settled down on the couch just in time for Robbie and Luke to come over bearing gifts.
Here were are as in olden days
Happy golden days of yore
Robbie laughed as he was pulled down onto the couch where Maddie and James promptly kissed him on his cheeks as Luke looked on.
Faithful friends who are dear to us
Gather near to us once more
Noah smiled as the music played and his eyes met Luke's for a brief moment. Luke stood and took the baby out of Noah's lap so he could settle down there.
Through the years we all will be together
If the fates allow
Noah continued to sing as he wrapped his arms around his husband and their godson.
Hang a shining star upon the highest bough
Luke turned to kiss Noah softly on the lips and together they sang the end of the song.
"And have yourself a merry little Christmas now"
It was 2am before the last strains of Auld Lang Syne were heard, and the last party whistle was blown. Luke hugged and said good bye to the final guest and rested his back against the door as he locked it and closed his eyes. It had been a great party. All of their friends and some family had come to the house to celebrate the New Year with them. Luke was glad that everything had gone off without a hitch, but he knew his feet would be angry with him the next day. He felt like he had been standing on them since the morning before.
"Come over here, Baby," Noah called from his spot on the couch. Noah had his tie loosened and his shirt untucked while his bare feet rested on the coffee table. Luke pushed himself away from the door pulling his emerald green sweater as he drew closer. He placed the sweater on the loveseat and joined his husband who handed him a flute of sparkling grape juice.
"Thank you," he said cuddling up in Noah's embrace his head resting where his shoulder met his bicep. "Are you as beat as I am?" he asked taking a sip of his drink.
"Mmmhmmm," Noah said sipping his own grape juice. "What a day right?"
"What a night," Luke replied as he looked up at him. "Did you have fun?"
"Anytime with you is fun." Noah beamed down at him.
"I can't believe it's 2010."
"You know, they say whoever you end the year with is who you are going to be with the next year."
"Was there any doubt?" Luke asked biting his lip as he looked into Noah's crystal blue eyes.
"You have to admit it 2009 was a crazy year."
"Yeah, we were thrown some major curveballs," Luke agreed.
"Starting with that big fight you had with your mom."
"And then the big fight we had with your dad."
"Yeah," Noah chuckled. "Which inevitably led us to finding my mom."
"And lest we forget the evil grandparents," Luke bristled.
"We finally went to New York and,"
"The dressing room," they said at the same time.
"Oh god if only you could have seen the look on that saleslady's face when she realized you were gay," Luke laughed and took another sip of his juice. "I swear I wish we had a camera."
"We have to go back there," Noah added. "It was nice…and when we got back things went a little nuts."
"That's for sure," Luke said softly. "I can't even begin to tell you how glad I am to be here with you today."
"Nine weeks without you was hell," Noah hugged his husband closer and kissed his forehead.
"And Little Luke came into our lives last year, we can't forget that, and-"
"Robbie," they spoke at once and shared a kiss which made Luke giggle.
"That's right we dealt with James' mom too, and Grandma Lucinda got married and had surgery and she's fine."
"And so are we," Luke took Noah's glass and placed it on the table beside his own. Doing so allowed him to settle down, resting his head on Noah as he wrapped his arms around him. Noah hugged Luke close and rested his chin in thick blond hair. "The rest of it seems like a blur, you know?"
"Yeah," Noah said allowing his fingers to card through Luke's hair. "We started our company, Maddie went back to work and school, Robbie moved up to the eighth grade, and James is one step closer to having his license to practice."
"And you have grandparents who love you, plus Dad has his brother back."
"Do you think we'll ever make up with our mothers?" Noah asked moments later.
"Do you want to?" Luke asked looking up at him. "Are you ready for that?"
Noah thought about it for a moment, his hand lazily grazing Luke's back. "I don't think so," he said after a moment. "I think I just want to get used to having you back. I mean, you've been back for six months, but with so much going on I don't know…"
"You feel like we haven't had all the time in the world to get reacquainted," Luke finished the thought. Noah nodded glad that Luke as always understood. "I feel that way too sometimes, Noah. I just feel like you and me, we're entitled to some kind of happiness you know? I think we've earned it."
Noah smiled and kissed the top of Luke's head. "I think so too, and that's what I want for 2010. I want us to have our happy."
"And I want a family with you," Luke's voice was becoming raspy, a sure sign that Noah's ministrations were making him sleepy. "I want to adopt kids with you…I think we're ready."
Noah shifted pulling Luke tighter to him before kissing him breathless. "I love you, so much and I would be more than happy to start a family with you, Luke. You know it's not going to be easy."
"The process can take a long time, years," Luke nodded. "I've been doing my homework. "But this is something I really want. I think we can give a kid a good home don't you?"
"You are amazing with kids," Noah placed his hand on Luke's cheek. "There's no denying that."
"You're good with them too," Luke interjected taking Noah's hand into his own. "You have so much love to give, Noah, and I think we should give it a shot."
"So the goals for 2010," Noah said counting on his fingers, "Are to start the adoption process, work on our business and See if we can find our happy?"
"Don't forget school," Luke reminded, "and then there is the matter of dealing with our mothers."
"And Damian," Noah added softly. They hadn't talked about Luke's biological father since his appearance at Thanksgiving Dinner, but they knew he wasn't going away until Luke told him to.
Luke sat up and reached for their glasses handing one to Noah before reclaiming his original position. ""I think we've more than proven that we can handle just about anything as long as we have each other."
"We're stronger together." Noah acquiesced. They clinked their glasses together in a toast, gazing at each other as they sipped on their grape juice. There were things about the previous year that neither would soon forget; things that had put their love and commitment to the test, and others that just reaffirmed the vow they made to each other.
"I love you, Noah." Luke kissed him softly, smiling against his lips. "I love you so much."
He allowed their lips to touch once more before Luke settled down against him. Noah placed their empty glasses on the table beside him and wrapped his arms protectively around Luke. He would never tire of moments like these, and he hoped that there would be more of them in their future. Despite all they had endured he knew they were very lucky to have each other.
He rested his chin in Luke's hair and took comfort in Luke's even breaths, knowing it wouldn't be long before he was sound asleep. "Go ahead and rest hon, we have our whole future ahead of us and it starts tomorrow."
"I love you, Noah." Luke muttered sleepily.
Noah kissed the top of Luke's head and smiled as he snuggled close ready for sleep to take him as well.
"Same here."