Stubborn Heart
"Well I heard you say
You can't change a stubborn heart
Yeah, I can relate
'cause that's how I feel when I talk with you"
~ "Don't Give Up" by Sanctus Real
His ear is to the door of Inara's shuttle when he hears it.
"You can't change a stubborn heart."
It makes him cringe and at the same time smirk at the irony it presents him with.
He's always thought of Inara as being stubborn. He's thought her defiant and firmly independent and unmoving in who she is and what she does. He has considered her unchangeable for some time now, in fact. That he has now heard her say a stubborn heart cannot be changed only makes it more set in his mind.
If that's really how she feels, if she really, truly believes it, he knows he's in trouble. They're both in trouble.
And he himself wasn't any better. He wasn't even going to start with his own psycho analysis thingy. Whatever it was called.
He peers into the shuttle and sees her pouring over her comm screen at what looks like a poem. She murmurs something else.
"Yeah, I can relate, 'cause that's how I feel when I talk with you."
He scrunches up his face. "Huh?"
He doesn't realise he spoke aloud until Inara turns and fixes him with an annoyed glare.
"Mal," she says. She studies him intensely. "How long have you been there?"
He shrugs. Attempts a smile. "Long enough."
She continues to watch him.
"I heard what you said," he goes on. "That 'you can't change a stubborn heart' and all."
Silence.
"I think there might be something to that. You know."
She surprises him and doesn't protest any more about his intrusion. "Hmmm. Maybe," she agrees softly. There is a glint in her eyes that suggests something bigger is on her mind.
"Yeah, I'm thinkin' so," he tries. "Can't get nowhere being stubborn."
Her lips twitch up into a small smile. She brushes a strand of hair from her face. "That is true," she confirms.
"So, what is that exactly?" He nods towards the script on screen.
Inara closes the window and shuts off the comm so that the screen abruptly turns black. She drapes material over it to hide it from sight.
"Hey!"
"It's really none of your business, Mal," she says brusquely. Perhaps she had realised that she'd not put up an act for him. Perhaps she had realised they were not fighting and any time they weren't fighting, they were on even more dangerous grounds, grounds that had potential to transform their relationship into something more solid and more serious and more complicated.
"Well," he says, frowning. "Fine. That's fine. I...uh...I'll just go. I'll leave you be." He spins around and heads for the door without another word or another glance in Inara's direction. So much for a conversation that didn't end with one of them storming out!
He can hear Inara murmur 'I guess the song was right' as he hits the ground outside and the irony sinks in once more. Even trying to discard their defiant natures, they end up running from each other. Even when they try to be the slightest bit civil, the end result is the complete opposite: chaos and misery.
"You can't change a stubborn heart."
He repeats the line, hating every word as he says it.
fin.