This chapter is dedicated to CaptainYuzuki18 who provided me with all I needed to let my mind run even wilder than usual.
March 3, 2012
Punk was wondering that maybe he was approaching this marriage angle from the wrong perspective. He had never been one to think through his emotions and come up with reliable conclusions. They were in Ontario for 2 house shows. What would John do if Punk just dragged him to the local provincial court house and demanded he marry him right then and there? John would probably say yes but would regret not having his friends and family there. John may be gay but he still adhered to a more traditional set of values.
Laurinaitis and Otunga were not in attendance at the house shows so Jericho was again being appointed as a special enforcer for his matches against Ziggler. Due to Jericho's long tenure in the WWE he probably had a long standing friendship with the road agents who would give Jericho whatever he wanted without question. Apparently what Jericho wanted was to persecute Punk with an ever changing strategy.
At the last run of house shows Jericho had allowed Ziggler to fight with him to a point and then disqualifying Ziggler for the outside interference of his pathetic he met Ziggler in the ring today Ziggler had his eyes trained on the curtain. Vickie and Swagger had also accompanied him to the ring. Jericho came out to ringside and immediately went to Ziggler's corner and began speaking to him. What exactly was Jericho up to now? The answer to that question was making Ziggler's posse distract the referee constantly. Punk found himself the victim of Code Breakers and Lionsaults, Jericho using every move in his repertoire to punish Punk physically due to Jericho's perception that Punk was nothing more than a cheap copy of himself. If Jericho could manipulate the road agents why wouldn't he ask for a match with Punk himself, not use this cowardly ruse to torture him. Punk could only guess at the thoughts which ran through Jericho's brain but he definitely didn't seem to want a piece of Punk before WrestleMania. Punk managed to pull out a win using the Anaconda Vise, timing it so that the official was in the center of the ring, far away from the ropes and possible interference so that the official's attention was trained on the match and caught Ziggler tapping out.
John was facing Kane in the ring but after the Ambulance Match and the utter failure of Kane's mind games the Big Red Machine's evil intentions seemed to have abated and John put him away easily. Kofi had been facing Jericho and always brought his A game but Jericho was sneaky and the Code Breaker could come out of nowhere. Jericho would lock in the Walls of Jericho after the bell had rung, causing a team of officials to come out to the ring and resolve the situation. Punk couldn't be sure but he thought that Jericho's treatment of Kofi was probably punishment for just being Punk's friend. Jericho's mind was obviously a sick and twisted place and Punk was his chosen target.
Punk was sure the world was conspiring against him. They were leaving the gay friendly environs of Canada only to go to Massachusetts where gay marriage was also legal. He was heading into the danger zone of meeting the full force of the Cena clan. Punk tried to portray a confident and laid back demeanor every time John brought up the subject of meeting his family. Punk was hiding his intense worry that John's family wouldn't like him, wouldn't approve of their relationship. If he couldn't win over the Cena's what would happen to their relationship? John's family was very important to him and if the decision was not in his favor, how would John react? Unfortunately the first impression they had of him was physically and mentally torturing John at every turn. He was dreading this meeting because there was a big chance that they would disapprove and John could be lost to him forever.
March 5, 2012
Monday Night Raw
Punk was given a reprieve when John told him that his family wouldn't be backstage before the show but had ringside seats and they would meet up with them for drinks after the show. John had to be at the arena early and when Punk walked in one of the first people that he came across was Shawn Michaels.
"I'm sorry we missed each other a few weeks ago, but, you know, Jericho…"
"Punk, if anyone knows about Jericho it's me."
Shawn was taken aback when Punk shot forward and hugged him tightly.
"I didn't realize CM Punk was giving out free hugs these days."
"I just wanted to thank you. They would have sacked me in the first year if it wasn't for you standing up for me," Punk said, breaking the hug and stepping back.
"I knew you had it, even if the rest of the WWE higher ups couldn't see it."
"I know I wouldn't be where I am if it wasn't for you and I just wanted you to know how thankful I am. I'm sure that I'm far from their first choice for being the WWE Champion and representing the company."
"I think the fans have made it overwhelmingly clear that you are their chosen Champion. You did all the work; I just held them off from committing an act of extreme stupidity. This is totally off the topic but Hunter told me something so strange that I can't even believe it. I was pretty sure he was just messing with me the entire time we were talking."
"What did he say?"
"Well first off it seems like you and Hunter have buried the hatchet which is so bizarre I don't know what to say."
"A lot of my current friendships are based on there being some bloody battle between us that somehow leads to friendship afterwards."
"The really shocking thing he told me was that you and Cena were dating. John Cena, really? I guess it's really true that opposites attract, and we're talking about a very extreme case here."
"I know, but to my ever increasing surprise we seem to be a perfect fit. I've got to run and get changed but I just wanted to say thank you."
"A word of advice, don't ever underestimate Jericho. Just when you think he's reached the outer limits of depravity he finds a way to go to sicker lengths."
Punk entered the locker room and spied Randy talking to John who slapped Randy in the back of his head. Punk quickly made his way to John's side. This had all the makings of being utterly hilarious.
"What the hell! I make my triumphant return to Raw and I get slapped upside the head?"
"You told my parents about me and Phil! Don't you think that I was capable of judging the timing of that particular announcement for myself?"
"No, not really. You were sure taking your sweet time about it. I'm sure everything worked out fine in the end didn't it?"
"It did, but try not to be such a gossip in the future would you."
"Your family's here tonight, right?"
"Yeah, I'm going to introduce them to Phil," Randy immediately looked at Punk with a wry smile.
"Oh, this is going to be classic. Can I come? Punk is going to seriously blow it considering he has a tendency to come off as a complete jackass on first meeting."
"Thanks for the vote of confidence Randy," Punk responded, flipping him off.
"Oh yeah, you're a total sweetheart."
Punk looked to John to see how he reacted to his and Randy's conversation and it didn't look good. John had a seriously worried look on his face. Punk knew John loved him to the point that he couldn't imagine anyone not seeing the things in him that he saw. Punk knew that the idea had finally dawned on John that maybe this wasn't going to work out as well as he imagined it would.
Punk changed and waited for a road agent to find him and let him know who he would be competing against tonight. He was expecting absolute pandemonium. Teddy Long would be in charge of Raw tonight. Although Punk would prefer a ham sandwich or a beeping laptop to John Laurinaitis he had to admit that Teddy Long wasn't that stellar a choice either. Punk knew about the chaos that Smackdown sometimes degenerated into due to Long's preference for crazy, on the spot tag matches.
The first indication that the show was bound for anarchy was the opening match of Santino taking on Swagger for the US Championship. Swagger was accompanied by Ziggler, Vickie, Otunga and Laurinaitis. After a string of interference Long came out to the ring with Aksana and Kofi. The match itself was secondary to the mayhem outside the ring. Ziggler was in the ring so much you would think it was a handicap match. Punk thought that he had pushed Laurinaitis to his limits with the constant insults but Long was able to elevate Laurinaitis to shades of anger that Punk had never received before. A catfight broke out between Vickie and Aksana and Long again knocked Laurinaitis on his ass. Somehow in the melee Santino managed to roll up Swagger and become the new United States Champion. Punk had a feeling that wouldn't last for long considering that Laurinaitis conversely had control of Smackdown. The final insult was when Long booted both Laurinaitis and Otunga from the building.
The Long camp was still celebrating in the ring when he was informed that he was going to be the recipient of one of Long's famous tag matches. He would be partnering Sheamus against Daniel and Jericho. While Punk didn't have anything against Sheamus, he was more of a brawler and was getting ready to step in the ring with the 3 best technical wrestlers on the roster.
When the celebrating finally concluded the feed cut to the Rock. He heard John let out an exasperated laugh.
"Dwayne is back for one Raw and he's already resorted to his usual method of pre-recorded videos. He probably needed cue cards."
Punk was having an issue trying to keep a frown on his face for John's sake but all he wanted to do was crack up laughing. The Rock was mocking John for his utter crapfest of merchandise. Punk had made fun of John for this on occasion. Since his ascension to the top of the WWE Punk kept a keen eye on his merchandise to make sure it hadn't gotten completely out of hand. The Rock was chucking things into Boston Harbor and then he held up a garden gnome. There were some things about his merchandise that irked him, but nothing like John's garden gnome, thank God. Punk couldn't handle it anymore and burst out laughing.
"Aren't you supposed to be on my side?" John asked testily.
"I can't help it. A garden gnome? I love you and even I wouldn't put that in my yard, if I had a yard that is."
"I'm guessing Dwayne hasn't looked at his merch page lately because he has his very own garden gnome."
Punk kept watching, trying not to laugh in John's face when the Rock got to the John Cena cologne. Punk glanced over at John and even he seemed abashed at the stupidity of the item.
The Divas match was next and Punk had to admit that he wasn't actually paying attention. He finally looked up when he heard Ryder's music. He hadn't even realized that Ryder had returned. He was probably hiding out from him and John, not eager to be put out of action yet again. Ryder was still injured enough to need a cane to assist him in walking. He had more pressing things to worry about tonight, like meeting John's family. Ryder could wait until another day. Ryder had a backbone for 1 minute until Eve kissed him and left him in the hallway grinning like a fool. Punk wished both backstabbing bitches all the best.
John showed up on screen in an empty arena. This must have been what John needed to be at the arena early for. John gave a heartfelt promo. When John started talking about what would happen if he lost, Punk reached over and grabbed John's hand, squeezing it tightly. John looked over for a moment and gave him a thankful smile. Everything John was saying made Punk finally take the situation between John and the Rock seriously. All the jokes, tossing things off a bridge, made light of what was a deadly serious situation. Punk had never really thought about what would happen if John lost, he had never even considered the possibility. Punk knew that if John lost it would destroy him and for once Punk would have to be the strong one and help John through the completely devastating loss. He gave John's hand one final squeeze and left the monitor bay for his match without saying a word to John. He didn't know what to say after that promo that had just aired.
Punk awaited Sheamus in the ring. He entered and slung his arm across Punk's shoulders and watched as Daniel entered with AJ.
"You know that could have been you, fella?"
"Considering my present circumstances I almost wish it was."
Punk looked around at the cheering crowd and his eyes fell on 3 guys who were not cheering, just staring him down from the front row. These guys had very familiar facial features. These were John's brothers and they did not look very happy to see him. Punk broke the stare down when Jericho's music hit. Jericho made his way to the ring and even just looking at the guy made his back twinge. He didn't show it when he started kicking Jericho's ass all over the ring, one move following another with a quickness that Jericho could not keep up with, made evident when he slid out of the ring and tagged in a reluctant Daniel. Jericho was glaring at him from outside the ring and Punk just smirked in return. It wasn't his fault that Jericho was showing his age. He tagged in an eager Sheamus who took it to Daniel who pulled a Jericho and tagged in his unsuspecting partner. Jericho punished his lower back, capitalizing on the injury he had inflicted the week before. The match continued on until Punk and Jericho met again in the ring and he narrowly avoided the Walls of Jericho and rolled Jericho up for the pin. At the last moment Jericho reversed the move and Punk found himself pinned with nothing to blame it on except himself. He watched as Jericho took his belt from ringside and paraded around with it. The final insult was when Jericho slid the belt into the ring at him, a superior, mocking smile on his face. Punk found John's brothers in the crowd again and he imagined they were less than impressed. Of all the fucking nights to lose to Jericho.
Punk walked backstage to the locker room to shower and change and heard the Rock's voice coming from the monitor bay. He stood in the hallway and watched him ridicule John yet again. He could only hope that when the Rock showed his face at the arena John would humiliate him even more than he had last week. When he returned to the monitor bay John looked up at him. Punk decided immediately not to mention the chilly reception from his brothers out in the arena.
"Did they not tell you?" John asked.
"Tell me what?"
"They asked me to do the dark match against Kane and I told them to make it a tag with you and where you go Jericho follows. At least you'll get a chance to throw that win back in his face. Go change quick, you wouldn't want to miss the Rock gracing us with his presence."
Punk went back to the locker room to change back into his gear and reappeared just in time to walk John to the arena entrance. John had decided to get the jump on the Rock and take the offensive in the ring. Right after John walked through the curtain to greet a hostile hometown crowd he heard footsteps approaching and he turned to see the Rock surrounded by his entourage. The Rock glanced at him briefly and just as quickly dismissed him. He hoped John gave the cocky fucker just what he deserved.
John made fun of the Rock's History Lesson promos and Punk smiled when John mentioned the Rock's dramatic head whips that Punk had never really thought to label before.
"What is the Rock saying about me? He's obsessed with breakfast cereal, makes fun of the way I look, he talks about his Clydesdale or his Stonewall Jackson or whatever he calling his penis, and then he talks about how many girls he's had sex with. Wait a minute, am I fighting the Rock at WrestleMania or The Situation from Jersey Shore?"
Punk laughed out loud at that one and earned himself a glare from the Rock.
"You think that's funny?"
"Hilarious."
"Being Champion not enough work for you so you run me down on Twitter to keep yourself busy."
"I make the time to say whatever I want about you whenever you want."
"You must be one of those 30 year old Cena fans."
"Uh, obviously," Punk answered totally confused.
John started making fun of the way he dresses and Punk started laughing again when John said that all he came out to do was talk to the fans and he was wearing knee pads. John said there were a million jokes in that statement alone but Punk's mind began to wander to what other non-wrestling activities knee pads were good for. When his thoughts cleared the Rock was still in the gorilla position.
"If you don't get out there soon he's going to do your job for you, you won't have anything left to hashtag."
The Rock was either sick of him or sick of hearing John talk because before Punk knew it the Rock had his music queued up and was through the curtain. Punk thought that John's promos about the Rock were some of the best he had ever heard John do, at least promos that didn't rhyme. Let the Rock try and beat that.
He was sure the Rock was trying to be intimidating but the crowd didn't seem into it. They wanted the Rock to crack jokes and start chants not deliver a Shakespearean monologue. The crowd made their feelings known when a "Tooth Fairy" chant started up. Even John seemed surprised. The Rock continued to try and threaten John getting right up in his face but John's smile never cracked. When the Rock walked back through the curtain he could tell that he was pissed that his message had definitely not been received. It was a good thing that the Rock had left the gorilla position and didn't see John pull down his wrist bands to show he had scribbled gibberish on his forearm. John 2, the Rock 0.
Punk watched as John dove over the barricade into his brothers and threw up his patented hand signs. John grabbed a beer out of a woman's hand, took a sip and tossed it at the camera. Punk really hoped that woman was the wife of one of his brothers and not some random chick in the crowd. John made his way a few seats down and hugged his Dad. Punk watched as the live feed cut off on the monitors in the gorilla position. After a minute or so the feed clicked back on, the cameras catching the dark match in case something insane occurred. John grabbed the mic he had tossed to the ground.
John started talking about his brother and his battle with cancer. He could hear John's breath hitch, getting very choked up as he told his hometown crowd that his brother was getting better. John announced that he would be celebrating by getting wasted. John rubbed his hands over his face a few times and then leaned on the ropes motioning to the arena entrance emphatically.
"I think you're being paged," and the tech started his music. Punk was walking down the ramp and John was still leaning on the ropes staring at him as he neared the ring. Punk wanted to wrap his arms around John but had to settle for briefly placing his hand on John's forearm when he entered the ring.
"You okay?"
"I'm excellent."
"Are you really going to get wasted and leave me at the mercy of your brothers? Because I am so not taking care of your drunk ass if you do. You know you have the worst tolerance ever."
"What do I get if I stay sober?"
"What do you want?"
"I can think of a few things."
Both men turned when they heard a sharp intake of breath. They both turned in the direction of the sound and realized that the official had been standing there the whole time and heard John proposition Punk for sex. They both laughed and stepped away to their corner, John going to the outside so that Punk could start the match off taking on Jericho and redeeming himself after his defeat earlier in the night. Punk was leaning against the ropes watching Jericho enter and most probably got singed when Kane's pyro went off in very close proximity to him. John reached over his fingertips brushing the small of his back.
"I think it's safe to say that if our opponents can't get to the ring without lighting each other on fire then we've got this."
Punk and Jericho wasted no time in locking up. Punk was determined to beat Jericho down to negate his fluke victory earlier in the night. Punk was beating Jericho's ass from post to post. Punk scaled the ropes and went for the elbow drop but Jericho rolled out of the way and Punk slammed into the mat. Both men went for the tag. John's good mood was evident and he beat Kane silly, setting him up for the AA. Jericho ran into the ring to interfere but Punk was right there waiting for him, hitting the GTS, Jericho rolling out of the ring and onto the floor. Punk knew that the match was over and didn't even bother exiting the ring and just sat down in their corner of the ring. Apparently the tech thought the win was a forgone conclusion as well because the official had only counted to 2 when John's music started playing throughout the arena.
"Really!" Punk yelled, John turning to face him after the pin was actually made and just shrugged his shoulders, pulling Punk to his feet so they could celebrate their win. They made their way up the ramp and even Punk recognized that John was standing entirely too close in view of the remaining fans. They made their way to the locker room and their bags were the only ones left in the room.
"Tonight is so my night," John said, and Punk turned around just in time to see John lock the door behind them and John started throwing off his clothes sinking to his feet in front of Punk and struggling with Punk's kick pads.
"That's it! Take your own kick pads off before I toss you in the shower and fuck you with them still on."
Punk bent over at the waist and started the process of getting the pads off.
"Wait a minute. Screw the shower, maybe I'll take you right here just like this," and John rubbed his erection against Punk's ass.
"Not to put you off your game Casanova but with me bent in half like this all the blood will rush to my head and I'll pass out before we even finish. How sexy would that be?"
"Then get your fucking kick pads off, strip down and meet me in the shower," John punctuating his sentence with a firm smack to Punk's ass and walked into the showers.
Punk was still staring wide-eyed at the door John went through when he heard the water turn on. Punk didn't think he was one for getting spanked but damn he was turned on by it. Punk didn't know what he was in for with John in his current mood but he didn't waste any time ripping off his kick pads and throwing his trunks god knows where. Punk was barely in the door when John pulled him under the spray, kissing him feverishly. Punk didn't even try to fight John for dominance, perfectly happy for John to take complete control. John's nails raked down his sides, his hands finding Punk's ass and kneading the muscles firmly.
"Up."
Punk didn't need any more direction, jumping up and wrapping his legs around John's waist. John backed him against the wall of the shower, letting it take some of Punk's weight.
"Fuck me, take me, do whatever you want, I just need you in me now," Punk moaned against John's lips.
John slid into him forcefully, Punk's had falling back against the wall. He felt the burn from being stretched wide around John's cock but it was setting every nerve in his body on fire in the most visceral way. John was pounding into him, his cock hitting his prostate with every stroke. Punk could barely catch his breath. John was fucking him raw and Punk just wanted more. He bit down hard on the muscle between John's neck and shoulder so hard he could almost feel his teeth meet. John's pace became brutal, and Punk couldn't even get out the words to beg John to get him off. John sensed his desperation and, holding Punk's body up with one arm, slid his hand between their bodies and started jerking Punk off vigorously. Punk came after a few swift strokes, coming between them, his muscles seizing around John's cock. John started to lose his rhythm, erratically thrusting in him. Punk felt John's nails pierce the skin of his upper thighs as John's hips stilled, coming deep inside him.
Punk's legs fell from around John's waist, his back sliding down the slick wall; he fell into a well-used heap, his thighs tingling from being wrapped around John so tightly. Punk looked up at John from his position on the floor. John bent down and swept him off his feet, carrying him into the locker room and laying him out on the bench. John draped his legs over his shoulders and tilted his hips up.
"Fuck…" was all Punk could force out when he felt John's tongue circle his entrance and then slide deep inside him, tongue fucking his already oversensitive entrance. John continued to devour him from the inside, John's moans mixing with the wet noises his mouth was making. John sat up, his thighs falling from John's shoulders and John pulled him into his lap. John kissed him slowly, Punk tasting a mix of himself, John's come, and John's unique tang. John pulled away and kissed Punk gently once more. Punk's head fell on John's shoulder, John bringing a hand up to tangle in his hair.
"That was…" Punk murmured against the skin of John's neck.
"…fucking amazing."
"Do you think if we just collapsed here they wouldn't discover us til morning?"
"We need to actually shower."
"I don't think I can move."
"I'll hold you up; we have to go meet my brothers."
"After that you want me to go have a coherent conversation with your family!"
"I don't think it matters what words you string together because you look like you've been fucked within an inch of your life and I'll know I made you that way. There's no getting out of this so get yourself in the shower."
Punk walked on unsteady legs into the shower, John joining him, leading to more kissing than actual showering, running their hands over the marks they had left on each other's bodies. They finally pulled themselves together and headed to the pub they were meeting his brothers at. They walked in to find them already there.
"What the hell John? We had to drop both Dad and Matt's wife off and we still beat you here?"
"I think the more correct question is if John was mauled by some wild animal on his way here," his brother pointing to his neck. John rested his hand over the bite mark that Punk had left and shrugged.
"If you have to question that then I feel sorry for your wife because you are obviously not doing something right."
"You got burned."
Punk's head just whipped back and forth, trying to follow the high paced banter of the Cena men.
"So Punk, you prefer Punk right?"
"Yes."
"Form any cults lately?"
Punk's mouth just dropped open, the interrogation had started and every crazy ass decision he had made was now open for discussion.
"Not that it matters really because Johnny here doesn't have any hair to shave off."
"Johnny, really?" and Punk looked at John with a devious smile.
"Thanks moron, now he's going to start calling me that too. Anymore ammunition you want to give him?"
"We left the embarrassing baby pictures in the car. We can go get them if you want?"
"Try to restrain yourselves. I think I'm going to need a drink. You want anything?" John asked Punk, ignoring his brothers completely.
"I doubt there's Pepsi so just water."
Punk watched John leave and realized he had been left to the wolves.
"Since John hasn't been so forthcoming maybe we can get some information out of you. When did you two get together?"
"Around the beginning of July."
"Beginning of July? Wasn't that when Money in the Bank was?"
"Yeah."
"So let me get this straight. You two were fighting over the Championship but somehow managed to start a relationship at the same time?"
"That's basically it."
"What the hell is wrong with you two?"
"Ignore that moronic question please. I'm assuming you had to make the first move?"
"Actually John…"
"John pursued you? That has to be a first."
"Here you go; they actually had a random case of Pepsi behind the bar. I think he charged me like $5 for it so you better enjoy it. What did I miss?"
"Punk here telling us that you've been together since July. We only found out about this at Christmas and we probably wouldn't have known at all if not for Randy telling Dad."
"Give John a break, it has to be hard to keep a secret like that."
"Secret my ass. With all the touching and eyefucking I saw in the ring tonight I'm surprised there weren't signs with John + Punk with a heart drawn around their names in the crowd."
"What about Hell in a Cell. You two seemed happy enough to kick each other all over that cage."
"That's the issue. John and I are brilliant in the ring together but add a third party like del Rio and we either overcompensate or get too distracted worrying about the other's welfare. We've never had a fight about one person winning the belt because it usually ends up with neither of us winning the belt. We know now it's better for us not to be competing against each other."
"Does your family know?"
"My Mom does and she loves John, probably because he's the nicest person in the world and plies her with flowers and expensive jewelry."
"That's John alright. Every Mother's Day he shows our asses up."
"Is the Spanish Inquisition over now? Punk and I have had a long night and we have to get up at a normal hour to have breakfast with Mom and Dad tomorrow. I'm sure she'll cook enough for an army so you're all welcome to come. Oh wait, you can't, work and everything. Guess you'll just have to miss out. I'll go close our tab, I'll be right back."
"There's just one thing we need to say before John gets back."
"More dirt?"
"No. If you break his heart we'll beat you to death with a shovel and they'll never find the body."
John returned to the table and Punk looked at him with alarmed eyes.
"What did they say?"
"We just welcomed him to the family."
AN: Threatening to beat someone to death with a shovel is a time honored tradition in the Buffy fandom. I appropriated it for use here. This chapter took a lot of work so I can't promise a quick update. Hope you like this chapter as much as I did. Reviews make me happy and a happy writer is a prolific writer.