Chapter 25

Without making a conscious decision to do so, Alex found himself following the team of medics back to the Infirmary wing once they landed. Before Meri disappeared from view, the head healer, An-Paj, approached the medics surrounding her.

Alex could see An-Paj converse quickly with another healer. Before they all disappeared from view An-Paj shot Alex a look that he couldn't decipher, but didn't think was good.

After looking after them for a few moments, Alex decided he might as well take a seat in the waiting area. Turning to do so he came face to face with Obi-Wan Kenobi whose ice blue eyes pinned him to the spot.

Alex began to get the distinct impression that he was believed the bad guy in this whole ordeal.

"Obi-Wan," he greeted with a slight nod of the head.

"Are you responsible?"

"I beg your pardon?" Alex asked slowly.

"I believe you know what I'm asking, Master Arieh," Obi-Wan said tightly.

"I believe I do too, and I don't like what you are implying, Knight Kenobi." Alex was beginning to get irritated.

Obi-Wan didn't back down even though the two were beginning to draw attention.

"You don't have to like it. Perhaps it would be best if you were to leave Meri alone from now on out if this is to be the result of your spending time with her."

It stung, and because he did know that in some small way he was responsible, Alex wanted to lash out at the younger knight.

"Perhaps you should be the one who is worried, Obi-Wan." At his quizzical look, Alex continued in a lower voice. "I saw the pendant."

Obi-Wan looked taken aback for about two seconds and then to Alex's surprise, he let out a shout of laughter. Finally he controlled himself enough to ask, "You think I gave that to her?"

"Didn't you," Alex asked stiffly, his blue eyes now edging toward violet. A fact he would be surprised to know pleased his younger companion.

Obi-Wan sobered. "No. And you would be wise not to bring that up again. It is obvious you have no idea of what you speak about nor the right to do so."

Alex's eyes narrowed. "And you have that right."

"Yes," Obi-Wan began and then seeing the thunderous expression on Alex's face continued, his voice calmer. "I'm not saying you shouldn't have that right also, but you can't force Meri in this, Alex."

"You are absolutely correct. I do have that right! It is my past and my memories she is keeping from me! I'll be damned if I let her get away with it!"

Obi-Wan's expression cooled again. "Just how far were you planning to go?"

Emotion flared into Alex's eyes and had Obi-Wan been a lesser man he would have stepped back. "I would never hurt her! What kind of Jedi do you think I am?"

Even Alex was surprised at the vehemence in his words and the emotion infused in them.

Obi-Wan studied him, took a breath. "Alex, I want to know what happened."

Alex released a breath of his own before running a hand back through his hair. "Honestly? I don't know any more than you." With that he explained about the missing children but left out the confrontation he'd had with Meri previously. It wasn't any of Obi-Wan's business how he handled his former apprentice.

"Something isn't right with that picture," Obi-Wan murmured as Alex finished the tale.

He didn't get a chance to elaborate as An-Paj suddenly rushed out of a back room, leaving the doors swinging violently behind him. The healer grabbed Obi-Wan's arm and tugged. "She needs you Obi-Wan, hurry."

Without sparing another glance for Alex the two rushed back the way the healer had come leaving Alex behind to worry and wonder.

As if waking up from trance, Alex looked around and noticed for the first time that his and Knight Kenobi's discussion hadn't gone unheard.

Anakin Skywalker, padawan to Obi-Wan Kenobi, sat in one of the waiting room seats avidly watching the tall knight. Alex looked away and strode over to a seat on the opposite side of the room. He sat for about two minutes before he sprang back up and began pacing.

"Why are you jealous of my Master?"

The voice jerked him out of his contemplations and made his nerves grate with annoyance. "I am not jealous, young padawan," Alex replied coolly with an intimidating stare.

Anakin just shrugged and continued thumping his feet against the legs of the chair. The methodic 'thump' also began to grate on Alex's nerves.

"Please STOP!"

Anakin jerked back and grimaced, sat still for a moment and then said, "You don't have to yell."

Alex ignored the youth and continued his pacing. Without realizing he mumbled aloud, "Why would she need him?"

"She doesn't like being in the Infirmary," Anakin answered for him.

Alex slowed his pace and then finally sat down. Exhaustion was beginning to grab a hold of him and his eyes felt full of sand. No doubt part of the reason for his unruly emotions. Rubbing his eyes, Alex looked over at Anakin. "Many people don't like the Infirmary, Padawan."

"She's different. Master Kenobi told me she has a thing about the Infirmary."

A black brow winged up. Anakin had his full attention now. "A thing?"

"Yeah, you know. She's like scared of it or something. Of course Master Kenobi didn't say that exactly. He said it makes her very uncomfortable. I figure it adds up to the same thing."

Alex nodded slowly. It seemed even a mere padawan learner knew more about his former apprentice than he did. "How long has she had this…thing?"

Anakin shrugged. "I don't know."

Silence fell again and Alex found himself thinking the secrets surrounding Meri Irhanah just kept seeming to grow.

In the end, Alex left the Infirmary to Anakin. Instead of heading for his quarters and the sleep he needed, he headed, despite the late hour, to the archives. The stillness and quiet was a welcome change to all the tension he had been subjected to in the last 48 hours.

Drawing his cloak around him, Alex chose a station in a private corner of the cavernous room and slid into the seat in front of a waiting screen. Despite the fact that he was exhausted, Alex had to have some answers. He had to know if his memory was returning to him in small bits and pieces as he assumed. He had to know if dream was really memory or dream only. After all, his dream had begun this whole mess.

With a few taps of the keys, he entered the password to the restricted files and pulled up the documents he was looking for. The missions he had logged were many, but the one he was looking for was significant and important enough to stand out. It didn't take him long to find.

For long moments he was immersed in the text and it wasn't until the end of the document that he really found what he was looking for. He read the lines once, then again, as if to confirm the find.

She had been lying to him. It hadn't been a dream, but a memory. A real memory that was more complete and complex than any he had ever had before. Hope surged through him and a renewed sense of determination.

He read the lines again describing the injuries to his former padawan on Dubh nán. She had almost frozen to death and he recognized the stubbornness of the woman he knew now was echoed just as strongly in the girl-woman he was reading about. He sighed, closed his eyes and rested his head in the palms of his hands and thought. He went over the memory…again and again until he suddenly felt himself being pulled backwards into darkness and then a glaring bright white.

Snow was falling, obscuring his vision. In his arms he carried the lifeless form of his apprentice. In his heart he knew if he didn't find shelter soon it would be too late.

His arms tightened around the burden that was not burden enough. A shape loomed up in the blowing snow ahead and relief flowed through him, warming him against the cold.

Black again. Then white.

And this memory truly shocked Alex Arieh, Jedi Knight.

He was undressing his apprentice. In some small corner of his mind he knew in such a situation it was necessary. Wet clothes had to be removed. He was the only one do so, trapped as they were in a blizzard with no hope of rescue.

It was only…

Alex recoiled at the emotions sensed within this memory. He couldn't quite get a grasp of it, but somehow he got the feeling there was more there than the normal concern a Master had for his padawan. Alex didn't know what this meant.

He was still trying to soak this in when his mind and the continuing memory forced him back to Dubh nán.

He was now watching Meri awake, stumble out of bed in fear and in doing so revealing to him the entirety of her slender form.

Alex pulled himself abruptly back from the memory, but it still lingered in his mind. After years of being buried it was now like any memory and too easily brought to mind. Only now Alex didn't want that particular event brought to mind. The emotions he remembered along with it made him distinctly uneasy.

Alex slumped in the chair trying to make sense of it all, his fingers drumming a restless beat against his leg.

"Master, are you well?"

Alex looked up into the stern face of Jocasta Nu who was keeper of the archives.

"I'm fine," he managed.

"Is there something I can help you find?"

Alex shook his head and when this dislodged his unkempt hair into his eyes, brushed it impatiently back. "No, thank you. I was just leaving."

The tall knight pushed to his feet and felt his exhaustion once again make itself known. Again he dismissed the feeling in annoyance. Sleep would have to wait. He had important questions that needing answering and they would again lead him back to the Infirmary. He hoped that by this time An-Paj was done with Meri.

For a while Obi-Wan felt like he'd been thrown back a few years. The setting was all the same. Back in the infirmary, a bunch of healers around, most importantly An-Paj. He had dealt with all this before, but the part he hated the most was his best friend awaking in a panic of flailing limbs, forgetting where she was and why she was there.

It came as no surprise to anyone who knew Meri and her past that she now had what one could term a phobia of Infirmaries. It didn't surprise anyone who knew her that she was a Jedi and had this fear. As An-Paj had explained it to Obi-Wan, the fear was formed when she had been mentally instable because of her bond break with Alex. And then the healers on Urukier who had feared a Jedi's powers had tied her to the bed, only increasing the damage done in the end.

As a result of all this, Meri now hated Infirmaries. The smells, the surroundings and everything about them.

Obi-Wan understood this explicitly. He had the feeling that even he didn't understand just how far and deep Meri's unease went when she was forced to be in one. Such as now.

She was being brave about it all. She was obviously in pain, and refused any heavy pain medications. Things were rather at a standstill because of this.

She'd been drugged on the way back to Coruscant, unknown to her, and like Infirmaries Meri hated the way pain medication took away her ability to think clearly.

Obi-Wan knew that had Meri been conscious when Alex had tried to administer the pain medication, he likely would've been the one that ended up taking it.

Meri hadn't awoken until she had reached the Jedi Infirmary and then all hell broke loose. An-Paj had just managed to calm her and with Obi-Wan's help she was now lying quietly on the bed.

Obi-Wan sat by her side. He knew she wasn't resting. Her whole body was tense and her breathing was shallow, like that of a person in great pain. Beneath the bruising and cuts, her skin was porcelain white.

Obi-Wan was worried. An-Paj had scanned her for internal injuries and said he found nothing life threatening. The worst injuries had been to her arm and ribs along with a few deep cuts, courtesy of some sharp rock.

The healers had immediately applied bone knitters to the worst breaks, but it was obvious that Meri really needed to be put in the Bacta tank.

Obi-Wan turned his head as An-Paj entered Meri's room. The healer's face was determined and he held an injector in one hand.

Obi-Wan's brow rose in question.

An-Paj seeing this shook his head slightly as he approached the bed. "Meri, I have a Bacta tank prepared for you."

"No." It was the only response from the motionless form on the bed.

Obi-Wan opened his mouth to speak, but shut it when An-Paj shook his head again.

"Meri I can't put a synthapatch on these injuries and send you on your way. The longer you delay this, the longer you'll be in the Infirmary. And I know you don't want that."

At this, Meri opened her eyes and fixed them on An-Paj. Her expression was cool yet defiant.

"You can't hold me here."

An-Paj held up his hand, revealing the injector. His expression looked nothing so much as a parent talking to a child. "Yes, I can."

Meri began struggling to sit up, but stopped almost immediately at the pain of her injuries. "You wouldn't?"

Obi-Wan watched as An-Paj smiled sympathetically and sat on the edge of the bed.

"I will if I have to Meri, but you would be putting me in that position. Now you have two choices. You can allow me to put you in the Bacta tank or I will sedate you and do it anyway. Your choice."

Meri clenched her eyes shut tightly, took a breath and then opened them again. "Sedate me then."

An-Paj looked mildly surprised by this, but then Meri smiled wryly up at him. "I can't stand being confined in those things. I'd rather be drugged. Sedate me."

An-Paj nodded in understanding and depressed the injector against the inside of her arm. "When you wake up, I promise you'll feel much better."

"I'll still be in here." It was half question half statement and the healer answered it as such.

"For a few days, but you are among friends here Meri. No one is going to tie you down."

"And I will be here when you awake, I promise," Obi-Wan pledged.

Her eyelids were beginning to droop as she sent a drowsy smile up at Obi-Wan.

"Then I'll be okay," she whispered slowly.

And then I'll find out how this happened to you, Obi-Wan thought grimly. And just who is really responsible.