A/N Thank you readers and reviewers! I dedicate this chapter to Buggage, who nailed exactly where I was going next. Edward just wouldn't be Edward without some inner demons.

Chapter 25

EPOV

I stood in the drive until Bella's truck disappeared from sight before I headed back into the house. I felt a twinge of conscience as I hadn't been completely honest with her. Yes, I would feel nervous about getting accepted until I had the actual letter in my hands, but most of my late night stress centered on what would happen when I actually did get it.

A battle raged within me as I tried and failed to see how I could hang on to both of my dreams - Julliard and being with Bella. Should I just wait and apply a year later? But that implied that Bella had the desire and the means to come to New York after graduation. Did Bella and I have a long distance relationship that would likely fade? Would she find comfort elsewhere in those long months apart? I frowned as I thought of Jacob. Yes, he'd be happy to be there for her, first as a friend and then as something more. I shook off these thoughts as I saw my mind heading down a dark path.

The only thing that was clear was that I wouldn't burden Bella with my fears. She was happy and finally finding herself. No, I would hold onto this until it couldn't be avoided any longer.

I wasn't quite sure what to do with myself. I wandered into the music room and played Bella's selection for her next singing practice. The haunting quality of the melody fit perfectly with my melancholy mood.

Alice found me staring off into space while sitting at the piano, no longer feeling like playing anymore.

She wrapped her small arm around my shoulders and said knowingly, "You're worrying about leaving Bella aren't you?"

"Yeah," I replied and my voice kind of broke. I'm a mess.

"Edward, I can't explain how, but I know you and Bella will be together as you were meant to be. Believe in that as much as you believe in yourself, or it's going to tear you up inside and likely Bella too. Is that what you want?"

"Of course not," I sighed.

"Then focus on the now and enjoy the time with her." She smiled encouragingly.

"Thanks, Alice." My sister was amazing. There was a wise person hidden in the body of a hyper shopaholic.

"No problem. I was wondering about your recording schedule. Do you think there will be some extra time available?"

"I've scheduled two full days, so yes, I would expect that I won't need the studio staff for the entire time. Why do you ask?"

"I thought it would be a good experience for Bella to record, and it would allow you to add her song to your submission CD, showcasing not only the instrumental version but also her version, since you wrote the lyrics."

"That's a great idea." I said, surprised that I hadn't thought of it myself.

"Yes, I do have those occasionally." She grinned mischievously and left.

Talking with Alice made me realize that wallowing was not really helping anything, so I decided I needed a distraction. I challenged Emmett to a video game battle and after a few hours I felt at peace enough with myself to get some real sleep in for the first time in days. I dreamed of Bella performing her solo to a full gym as I played for her.