Natsu was pissed.

Sweat dripped down his forehead (his tiny, delicate forehead), his feet ached in his colorful torture devices (Heels are simply not shoes, no matter what anyone says. Where were his sandals?), and his bothersome skirt took up more space than all of Erza's armors combined (He supposed the reason they had hired Erza to accompany him was to clear a path for his monstrous pink dress. Or perhaps Erza just enjoyed chopping down stray trees).

Did he mention he was pissed?

Natsu had always been, and always will be a rather simple man. There was a list of things he liked (eating, fighting, destroying, Lucy), and a list of things he frankly didn't.

Being a girl definitely belonged to the latter list.

His head ached from all the rambunctious chatter currently ongoing in his head, in which his brain appeared to jump from thought to thought like skipping stones. Did girls always think so much? His thoughts strayed from a massive chocolate craving to the sorry condition of his blistered feet to the butterfly that had just fluttered by...where was the consistency? And his poor, poor back would simply give way and snap under the new burden it was forced to carry. He would much rather prefer admiring a certain blonde's chest instead…

A slight whimper escaped from his lips, and Erza spun around so fiercely that Natsu just about toppled over (which would be highly unfortunate—he doubted he would be able get back up).

"Complaining again, Princess?" Only Erza could turn the convoluted title into a curse. "Yet I notice you're doing none of the work. We're on a tight schedule here!"

She smacked Natsu on the butt firmly with the handle of her sword, propelling the princess onward. "Show me that HUSTLE!"

Natsu whimpered again, this time for an utterly different reason. He sprinted to the best of his ability (which was only a very, very slow jog).

The two travelers certainly made quite a pair, in what seemed like a tall, shining knight furiously chopping trees to make way for a large, pink cupcake.

As for the path of carnage and destroyed woodland left behind by Erza, well…

"Look, she's here!"

"Oh, my goodness. We haven't seen our lovely Briar Rose since her christening!"

"Let me see, let me see!"

Three tiny little fairies clustered around the window in their cozy cottage, fluttering their wings in excitement. These three had been esteemed guests at the young infant's christening ceremony, each blessing her with a wondrous magical gift. They could still remember the cries of joy and celebration that had swept across the kingdom with fond memories. All had appeared well and hearty on that day, until the evil one had arrived…

There was a period of silence, where each held their breath—

And immediately all their wings drooped.

"Is that her?" One of them gasped, staring outside the window at the manly knight waving her sword around furiously, shouting at the top of her lungs. "She's not quite what we expected…"

"No, no, Lily! That's surely her maid…the princess won't be far behind!"

"Then is that her, Charle?" A high-pitched voice popped up, eyeing the hideous pink monstrosity that was slowly advancing towards the door. The girl outside was an absolute terror to behold—branches stuck in her hair, her dress ripped to shreds, and sweat pouring down her face.

If it was possible, Charle's wings wilted down further.

"D-did my gift not work? I could have sworn I had blessed her with the gift of beauty…" She mumbled.

"Ha! Your gift failed!" Happy chortled, a wide smile on his face.

"Let us be reminded that we are the three fairies who blessed the kingdom's fair princess, and not children." Pantherlily glared at Charle, who had grabbed Happy by the ear and was proceeding to deliver an Erza-styled punishment upon him.

But he too joined Charle's misery, as he watched the princess outside walk straight into a tree absentmindedly. "I thought I blessed her with the gift of intelligence…have I too failed in my mission?" His face fell in disappointment.

"I like her!" Happy declared cheerfully, as the two other fairies glared at him.

"Of course, you would." Charle sniffed. "There's no point in crying over spilt milk, I suppose. We should welcome her in anyway."

She opened the door, and Natsu cheerfully gave her a wave. "Yo, I'm here to meet my aunts!"

The King had kept careful correspondence with Natsu's new caretakers, agreeing that they would in fact keep their identities secret from Natsu. A strange curse had befallen the kingdom, and none but the fairies who had witnessed it were to know of this mysterious darkness. So it had been arranged for the princess to stay with her so-called "aunts" for a time, where she would remain safe and untouched from any evil.

"Well, you've come to the right place! Come on in." Charle sweated nervously as she watched the girl walk in with a manly swagger, her legs widely spread and shoulders hunched.

"Whoa! You have wings!" The girl smiled at the oddity. "Are you guys fairies or something?"

Charle shot Happy a panicked expression, while Pantherlily looked hopeful, as if his gift of intelligence had been halfway fulfilled. "How does he know?" She hissed.

"Well, the whole wings thing kind of gives it away, you know." Happy drawled, for once making an intelligent remark.

"You could say that, I suppose." Lily nodded at the princess, who only beamed brighter. Was there no end to her enthusiasm? "My name is Pantherlily, but you can call me Lily."

"Aye, and I'm Happy! This is Charle!"

Natsu tried not to let the surprise show upon his face, for he had most definitely learned his lesson after the disastrous incident with Mirajane in Rapunzel's story. Although it was the slightest bit disturbing to see the Exceeds (and his best friend to boot) as humans, he could certainly see the similarities. Happy had stayed consistent with his blue hair, his childish grin still firmly in place.

"Welcome, Briar Rose!" Happy cheered. He fluttered over to Natsu, the top of his head barely coming up to the princess's waist.

"Why don't we help you get settled, and then you can explore a little on your own?" Lily suggested politely.

"As long as you don't talk to strangers, alright?" Charle added briskly.

Natsu grunted (Charle sniffed her nose at her unladylike behavior) in agreement. This would give him time to figure out exactly what story he was in, as well a chance to go and find Lucy. Speaking of which, where was she?

The three fairies hustled their way into another room, whispering strange things that Natsu couldn't help but to overhear.

"Princess's birthday…dreadful curse…"

"She mustn't know…"

Mustn't know? Mustn't know what?

He strained to hear the last fading whispers, mere echoes carried faintly away by the breeze.

What on earth were they talking about?

Lucy had given up, plopping herself down in the middle of the pond after several more falls.

"You're enjoying this, huh?" She glared at her horse, who only nickered innocently.

At this point, she had probably spent more time falling into the water than actually sitting upon her horse. And she was cold, wet, and utterly miserable—why was she all alone in the woods?

Well, perhaps that was a lie. She had been riding along (actually managing to stay on for more than ten minutes), when she saw what appeared to be a demonic woodcutter furiously chopping down a path in the forest. She found it best to distance herself from that situation immediately, and immediately fled.

"Where is that idiot when you need him?" Lucy muttered, wondering where on earth Natsu was this time. Although his disappearance may not necessarily be a bad thing, once you took into account her new appearance.

"At this rate, I think I could even take Natsu on." She looked down at her large biceps, flexing them in a manner oddly reminiscent of Elfman.

Suddenly, a loud squeal ripped through the forest. Lucy immediately tensed.

"You heard that too, boy?" She stroked the horse's nose, soothing its fear. "It's just a bird, no need to worry!"

But when there was a second, more urgent wail, Lucy knew that this was no woodland creature. Someone must be hurt!

She leaped upon her horse's back, ignoring the trickles of water still dripping down her back. For once, the two were in perfect sync.

"Over here!" Lucy shouted, tugging the reins to the right. She would later brag about her athletic prowess, sliding out of her saddle in one graceful move (although to replicate the move in her normal body would be quite impossible) and immediately transitioning into a quick sprint. Shoving branches aside and vaulting over the wild undergrowth, she finally saw the damsel in distress.

"Are you alright?" She panted, running up to the girl in question. Their eyes met, rich brown eyes staring into dark, fiery ones. Wait a minute…

"N-natsu?" Lucy gaped.

Natsu again, promptly fainted.

It appeared Natsu had not been blessed with the gift of song, as his loud wailing would indicate.

He had been trying out his new voice with that childlike curiosity of his, singing at the top of his lungs. His earsplitting shrieks had let Lucy to believe someone had been gravely injured, which does not speak well for his singing ability (although he still thinks he's better than Gajeel).

And all of a sudden, Natsu's heart began to pound when he saw a handsome, broad-shouldered man run towards him with a fierce intensity. His face had grown heated with something unexplainable, and his stomach was threatening to leave his body—why was he feeling so strange? What was this...feeling?

The next thing he knew, he was sprawled down on the grass, a very familiar face staring down at him.

Did he mention he hated being a girl?

"I fainted again?" He groaned, which came out like a delicate trill in his new voice.

Lucy smirked. "Didn't expect you to be so weak, girlie." She crossed her arms, drawing Natsu's attention to her defined arms, and the little sliver of tanned skin that appeared when her—no, his shirt rode up.

"Don't do that." Natsu pouted. "I'm supposed to be the tough one here!"

"Oh really?" Lucy laughed, a deep throaty chuckle that reverberated in the quiet woods. "Want to tell me why we're like this?"

Natsu studied the formerly beautiful blonde, now replaced with this manly, attractive—wait, did he just say attractive?

"If I knew, I wouldn't be like this, right?" Natsu clutched Lucy's arm pitifully (not that he was trying to judge whether Lucy had better muscles than he did or anything…). "Being a girl is awful, Luce, awful!"

He did sort of look traumatized, Lucy observed with a grimace.

"I get all weird and fluttery all the time!" He complained. "You never told me about this!"

Her eyes narrowed at him thoughtfully. "Weird and fluttery?"

"Yeah! Like right now, I feel like I can't breathe or something. And my head is dancing all over the place—make it stop, Lucy!"

Now that Natsu was a girl, could it be?

"Hey, let me try something."

Natsu audibly gulped as Lucy bent down closer, her lips almost brushing his ear. "It's worse!" He babbled, jerking away. His heart was thudding painfully loud now, and feelings he had never before experienced were bubbling to the surface now.

If there was anything that would bring a rude awakening to Natsu's denseness, it would be this, huh?

Was it so terrible of Lucy to enjoy the influence she had over the poor boy—err, girl? Payback was so, so sweet…she could finally ensure he felt the same heightened sensitivity she felt whenever he was around, the same feminine perceptiveness…

She relented in her momentary revenge, allowing Natsu to sit back up.

"So, what was all that about?" He blinked innocently.

Lucy groaned silently.

A Natsu with boobs was still unfortunately, a Natsu.