A/N: I'll just drop this here... Ehehehehe.

As per usual, I own nothing but my imagination, that so far isn't making me much money. Mr Brightside belongs to The Killers, and I don't own Tony Stark/Iron Man, or Loki, or The Avengers. I do own the character of Megs, and half custody of Sparkles, who is an amazing person and my collaborator.

"Don't shit around with us now Stark," Sparkles leaned forward while Loki stayed back against the couch. Megs looked ready to take the life out of Tony.

"Anthony," Megs warned. It became obvious that Tony wasn't the only one holding on to this secret.

"No way, I wanna hear this," Sparkles cut her off. "He's always hounding me about my past, but come to find out that golden boy isn't so golden."

"There's a lot you don't know about Steve," Tony informed them. "Megs knows, but that's because she's shacking up with the master spy."

"I'm pretty sure that he wouldn't want you spilling his life secrets," Megs told him, not moving from her rested position. She didn't have to move to make her anger known, she was a mother.

"And how do you know so much about Rogers?" Loki asked Tony, the first time he had spoken for several minutes.

"We went to college together," Tony shrugged a little. That clearly wasn't the whole story. "Listen, I'll tell you, mostly because, well, that's who I am."

"But you two are Not to speak to Steve about this," Megs finished Tony's thought. "I will not have this getting back to him, he will have to tell you this story on his own."

"Sounds familiar," Sparkles murmured and Loki raised an eyebrow but didn't speak on it.

"I guess this needs a little back story for you to really understand what I'm about to say," Tony told them, lounging back in the chair. He had seemed to take on a more responsible aire about him, despite that he was about to spill some of the closest secrets of one of his friends. "I knew about this when we were in college, but I hadn't realized how bad it had gotten." He looked at Sparkles and Loki. "Steve, well, had cancer." Tony held up a hand before opened mouths could stop him. "You know Steve, heart of gold, met his best friend in some kind support group, or something. They were like cancer buddies."

"That is a horrible term, Tony," Megs did interrupt him this time. Tony just shrugged. She hadn't expected any different.

"Well, when Buckey, his friend, had a kid he was named Godfather, and Steve took that job seriously." Sparkles snorted and Loki rested a hand on her shoulder, near her mouth should it be needed. "Poor thing, had an immune system from hell. Caught colds all the time, had a fight with the flu once, just one thing after the other."

"I thought-" Loki placed his hand over Sparkles mouth, ignoring the death glare she aimed his way.

"This next part even I'm a little confused on, not actually sure how it happened." Tony seemed to pause, almost as if he was thinking of how he wanted to say his next thought. "We were out of college, and I was working my way out of the company eye and meeting with Megs. Steve effectively disappeared for a year, and when he came back he looked a hundred times better. Apparently there was some kind of experimental drug and Cap volunteered for it."

"Are you trying to say that he's turning into Captain America? I mean," Sparkles held Loki's hands away from her as she got her thoughts out, "he's had some kind of experiment used on him, and now he looks like this?"

"Now that you mention it," Tony smirked a little at the thought. "I know what I'm getting him for his birthday. Oh he's going to love the outfit." The other three groaned. "Anyway, back to the story. He comes back a year later, in a weird remission, only to find out that Buckey and his wife had died in a car accident. He talked to some people and found that their son, only five at the time, had been sent to an orphanage because no one was able to take him, if there was any family.

"Steve was done there as soon as he could, adopted the boy and brought him back with him, big family man that he is." Tony's face did not expel the confidence that this story ended well.

"How come he's never told anyone about him? I mean, we've never met him, he's never said anything to me," Sparkles asked, a little confused. She had spent enough time with him when Loki was sick before that she would have found about a hidden son.

"Remember his immune system from Hell?" Sparkles blinked once before she pushed herself up from couch, Loki watching her closely. She reached the bar, leaning down to grab a bottle of whiskey and a glass. "He didn't get to 7."

"When I said I needed him, I meant that I needed him to move his volunteer days," Megs picked up the story. "He spends his days not working, when not at a hospital," she eyed Sparkles then Loki when she knew that he was paying attention, "at the orphanage."

"Of course he does," Sparkles almost dropped her head on the bar but Loki had gotten up and was working on taking the drink from her, putting a hand out to stop her head. "Because he's just That perfect."

"Sparks," Loki murmured when he failed to get the bottle away from her.

"No, why shouldn't I get this out?" She glared at him, ignoring the other two. "He's just so perfect, Captain fucking America in the flesh. I can't be that perfect Barbie that he's looking for, and he can't change that. I'm me, that's it, there is no changing." Sparkles growled when Loki grabbed the bottle and Tony leaned up from the chair to take it. "If he can't deal with that, then that's not my problem anymore!"

The back door leading to the bar opened and Steve walked in with a box and he blinked when everyone's eyes turned to him. Sparkles growled and walked out of the room, with Loki closely behind her.

"Should I-" Tony and Megs both shook their heads when Steve started talking.

"It's best just to let those two work it out," Tony slid back down into the chair, handing the whiskey back to Steve. "You know how they operate."

"I swear, you're all children to me," Megs wiggled a little in her chair. "It's like I don't actually need this baby, I have a whole tower full of you."

"I almost take offense to that," Tony told her. "But I no longer live here, I just visit." He smirked at the evil glance aimed his way.

"No, you're the rotten neighbor kid who riles everyone up," Megs pointed. "That's exactly- Oh." She stopped, blinking a couple of times and both men raised an eyebrow. "Oh yes, speaking of children."

"Oh you have got to be kidding," Tony sat up as Steve dropped the box on the counter and practically ran over to Megs. "Aren't you supposed to have like another six or seven weeks before you pop that thing out?" He put his hands up in surrender at the twin expressions of annoyance, reigning in his slight feeling of panic. Those two picked a hell of a time to run off."