Maura sat uselessly in the headmistress' office, her luggage stacked neatly by her feet. She slumped against the arm of the armchair, beginning to pick absentmindedly at the one of the studs embedded in the leather covering.
"Miss Isles, would you like me to add damage to school property on you list of misdemeanors?" Madame Fontaine spoke sternly, glancing up briefly from her paperwork.
"No, ma'am," Maura answered dutifully, sitting up straighter. She scooted back as far as she could manage, letting her legs dangle above the floor.
"Feet on the floor," Madame Fontaine's sharp voice cut across the room again, this time not bothering to make eye contact. "And please, sit still. You aren't in nursery school, despite what your recent behavior might suggest."
Maura bit her lip, nearly in tears, as she obliged to the headmistress' demands. Never had she been so harshly criticized or demeaned in all her life. She watched Madame Fontaine work, her dark hair combed back into a severe bun. She tried to imagine the woman smiling, but the permanent creases that decorated her jaw and her forehead made the task quite difficult. What made a person become so unbearably rigid and unforgiving? Maura imagined that years of schooling in a facility such as this played part of the role, and the realization eased the apprehension gathering in Maura's stomach.
A dull knock on the door interrupted Maura's thoughts, though she didn't dare move as Madame Fontaine rose from her desk, granting the beckoner entrance to her office. Maura let out a breath, fixing her eyes on the pendulum on the grandfather clock looming in the corner.
"Maura."
She still did not look, clenching her teeth as her mother spoke, the thud of her heels dull against the carpet.
"Miss Isles, are you so insolent that you cannot respond to your mother when she addresses you?" Madame Fontaine's words followed, and Maura imagined the lines in her face had become more defined.
"Thank you, Madame Fontaine, but I'll handle my daughter from here," Constance spoke before Maura could answer. "Come, Maura." Maura looked down at her feet, watching as her mother's legs appeared in her line of vision, bending down to gather Maura's luggage.
Maura rose in silence, taking her wheeled suitcase as her mother hoisted the smaller bag over her shoulder. "Adieu, Madame," Maura spoke softly before exiting. The headmistress pursed her lips, nodding curtly in Maura's direction.
The pair was silent as they exited the building. The sharp November wind had Maura wishing she had buttoned her coat and perhaps left her gloves and beret in a more accessible pocket of her bag.
"As you can imagine, I'm quite displeased with you, Maura," Constance spoke evenly as the two waited for a cab.
Maura turned her head toward the far horizon, watching the hazy sun dip behind a cloud. An abrupt gust of wind caused her long hair to splay across her face, finding herself grateful for the sudden veil as the a few tears escaped down her cheeks.
"Please, Maura. We are away from that insufferable woman – I expect you to act like an adult and discuss this reasonably with me," Constance spoke through tight lips.
"What is there to discuss?" Maura turned her head suddenly, hoping to attribute her tear-swollen features to the biting wind. "I failed all of my classes, leading to my expulsion." She hated how the words tasted on her lips, her blunt confession making her feel ill, though she reminded herself that the benefits far outweighed the repercussions.
"Yes, Maura, I am quite aware of that, which is why I am here now, missing my exhibition tonight," answered Constance.
"You didn't have to fetch me," Maura replied, a bit indignant, She watched a crumpled, brown leaf scuttle down the street. "I am perfectly capable of riding a plane home myself."
"I'd hardly trust you with such responsibility after the stunt you just pulled," Constance countered, stepping closer to curb as the cab skidded to a stop. She pried open the door, ushering Maura into the back as the driver placed Maura's bags in the trunk. Constance spoke rapidly in impeccable French, directing the driver to the airport.
The two were silent for a minute, as Maura continued to brood. Constance let out a heavy breath, turning toward her daughter. "You know you owe me an explanation for this."
"Why should I owe you anything?" Maura wheeled around, close to tears again, wishing for the control in her life she had now begun to realize she never truly had. "You've hardly taken the time to listen to anything I've felt or thought about this whole ordeal. I don't want to resent you, Mother, but all my life you've given me freedom and you've fostered my independence, only to whisk it away at the time it mattered most to me."
"I don't see how any of this gives you an excuse to purposely fail all of your classes." Constance remained stubbornly focused on the matter at hand, her brow furrowing in frustration at her daughter's elusive response.
"It's not about the classes, Mother," Maura sighed, her eyes pleading with her mother to understand. "It's about what happened before – everything that led up to this moment. I never wanted to be here."
"You've wanted to study in France ever since you were a little girl," Constance contradicted, elevating an eyebrow.
"I know what I wanted," Maura sighed. "And I don't want you to think I've just tossed this all away without any though, but plans change - I've changed. I didn't realize I had what I truly wanted until I had already lost it," Maura spilled the words, absentmindedly reaching to touch the pink scar on her neck.
Her mother watched her for a moment, her lips pursed as she finally addressed what she had been desperately trying to ignore. "You gave up France – you gave up your goals - just for some ridiculous fourteen-year-old girl who nearly got you killed?"
Maura's eyes flared for a moment, her anger and patience nearly bubbling over, but she drew in a long breath, taking a less aggressive route with her words. "I love her."
Constance didn't answer.
"I love her, Mother. I've never had a best friend to say that about before. I've never had a best friend, period – and I'm not about to let that slip away all so easily, not when she is the best thing to ever happen to me," Maura's tone was stubborn, determined.
Constance looked at her lap, speaking softly. "I thought you'd forget about her – rather, that you'd move on with your life, get yourself back on the path you'd been paving for yourself once you got here. I even put in a special request to Madame Fontaine, that any mail between you and Jane be intercepted, so not to distract you during your time here."
"You did what? " Maura's jaw clenched in frustration.
"Maura, I believed I was doing it for your own good, just as I believed sending you to France was still best for you, even after recent circumstances. Clearly, we have not been on the the page for quite some time now," Constance muttered, the airport coming into view.
"I suppose I just wasn't prepared for it, your sudden 'motherly ' side showing as you became protective," Maura answered quietly.
"I have always let you care for yourself more or less, I suppose,"Constance mused. "I came very close to losing you, Maura, and I acted in the only way I deemed fit. But you have proven to be very capable of making sound decisions over the years, and I now see I should have treated you more like an adult through all this. It's just shame you were reduced to taking such juvenile methods to get your point across." Her tone was regretful.
"You know that lashing out like this is hardly in my nature - I was just desperate to be heard, before it became too late," Maura sighed, glancing quickly at her mother.
"If she means so much to you - which I can presume she does, seeing as you let your education go by the wayside - then arguing seems futile. I hardly wish to battle with you through your teenage years. There are many fine education establishments close to home that will foster your success."
The cab screeched to a stop, and as the two exited, Maura turned to give her mother an appreciative smile. "Thank you," she spoke softly, before adding. "And she does, Mother. Jane means the world to me."
Constance spoke no more of the matter, leaving the precise nature of her daughter's relationship in an ambiguous, despite what she may or may not have speculated. She pressed her hand lightly up against Maura's back, leading her toward the door. "Come now. We wouldn't want to miss our flight back."
XXX
Jane leaned up against the lockers as she waited for the warning bell, her eyes once again focused on her hands. She flexed her fingers a few times, their use feeling almost natural again. All she had left were scars – an almost unnoticeable sliver on her neck, and identical fleshy, pink masses on her hands, still slightly tender to the touch. She knew they'd fade soon, until they became nothing but an afterthought.
She had been back in school for only a few days now, when Angela had finally grown a backbone and forced Jane out of her endless wallowing. Being back was worse than she had imagined. Not only had she lost Maura, but the entire faculty and student body now treated her with a hesitant reverence, offering her pitiful smiles when Jane glanced their way, quite certain they had been whispering loudly about her only seconds beforehand. She had become a sort of celebrity, but not a loved or adored figured, as people stepped out of her way to give her some distance or glanced down to her wounded hands with silent sympathy. Her assignments had all been returned to her with neat A's printed on the upper hand corner, and she was certain that the quality of her work had not been assessed. A cloud of fragility seemed to engulf her, isolating her from the rest of the school's population more than she had even felt before. Even Grant had been surprisingly tactful, as he avoided eye contact and kept his crude chatter to a minimal when she was in earshot now. In a way, she craved even his abuse, in exchange for the solemnity that accompanied her anywhere she went now. She was thankful in the very least to have Frost, who stood faithfully by her side as often as he could, bringing up topics that strayed far from Maura or the gloomy predicament at hand.
Jane's throat tightened unexpectedly, just as the late bell blared loudly. She let her hands drop uselessly to her side, glancing over at the door. She made a face, brushing her hair away from her face with the heel of her hand, now an habitual motion. The lingering sound of the bell echoed for a few moments, and Jane debated if she should even go to class at all. After all, her medical excuse still had her exempt from gym for a few more weeks; she only bothered to come into the locker room to have a moment to herself, away from the dozens of sympathetic, cautious stares. Her eyes darted toward the emergency exit at the far end of the locker room, which let out near the track behind the school. It was certainly a tempting alternative.
"You're late."
She snapped her head up, the voice piercingly familiar, making her heart thump wildly against her chest. There she was, a few rows down, looking stunning as the wisps of morning sunlight penetrating the dust motes, leaving her honey colored curls with a faint gold halo around them. She was a vision, in every sense of the word, wearing a deep maroon peacoat and had a hint of pink in her cheeks. Jane felt a small sense of pride as she realized she had conjured up her best representation of her yet, deciding she'd indulge herself for a moment before summoning her mind back to the grim reality.
"Well, did you miss me?" Maura smiled – that beautifully heart-stopping smile that turned Jane's insides to mush. Jane felt a little queasy, willing herself to close her eyes, knowing she'd be left sorely disappointed the longer she played into this fabrication.
"Jane, are you alright?" Jane snapped her eyes open, flinching considerably as she felt a warm hand clasp her arm. "I know this is unexpected, but I thought perhaps you'd be eager to see me. I know I've missed you terribly, quite more than I can even begin to express in words," she muttered, stepping closer.
Maura glanced at Jane curiously, who had fixed her eyes on Maura's hand. She touched Maura's fingers softly, a faint sigh leaving her lips. "I'm never very good at telling I'm dreaming, you know," Jane spoke, smiling a little as she found Maura's hazel eyes. "I hope I remember this one when I wake up, though."
Maura opened her mouth, her brow knitting as she tilted her head in confusion. "Jane…you can't honestly tell me you're convinced you're asleep right now."
It was becoming clear to Jane that she was not conversing with an apparition, though the situation hardly made any more sense than that. "Well, you can't expect me to believe you'd just show up out of the blue." Her shock was waning, the hurt she'd been suppressing suddenly beginning to seep in. "It's been weeks with no word, no letters – not anything. And after everything that happened, I at least thought—"
"I apologize about the letters," Maura briskly interrupted her. "You see, it wasn't my fault – and you can imagine that I felt slightly wounded as well when you weren't returning mine. I only found out later that my mother specifically asked the headmistress not to send out anything addressed to you. She thought a clean break would do me good and make me more inclined to focus on my studie. But after fifteen days, I began to worry that you were angry at me for leaving how I did, and it was exceedingly frustrating to have no way to know if that were the case." She paused, her eyes searching for Jane's, and as she bit her bottom lip, Jane realized she still believed this might be the case.
Jane moved her hand closer to Maura's, letting her fingertips brush past hers. Her abdomen unclenched slightly, feeling a bit relieved as Maura slowly began to piece her story together. "I wasn't mad – I just felt confused…and a little hurt. Honestly, the whole thing was shitty, and it's been awful waiting to know when – or if – I was even gonna hear from you."
"It was the same on my part," Maura spoke softly, nudging her hand very gently into Jane's. "The longer I spent there, the more uneasy I became. I realized before too long that I had no desire to even be there – and I doubt having communication with you would have changed that. Studying in France was an old dream; it wasn't offering me what I wanted anymore because, well…I've found what I've always wanted right here." She looked down at their hands, their fingers loosely intertwined as if they belonged nowhere else.
Jane had trouble breathing for a moment; too nervous to address Maura's confession, she spit out the next question that came to mind. "So how'd you convince you mom to let you leave France?"
"That was quite difficult to achieve, and I am not entirely proud of the methods I used, but they were necessary," Maura spoke, trailing her thumb along the edge of Jane's palm, which of course had Jane fighting to keep her attention on Maura's answer. "I knew asking my mother if I could leave would prove to be futile, so I had to resort to drastic measures. After over a week of refusing to hand in assignments or contribute in class, I was told I was no longer fit to be a student there. My mother, of course, was not pleased in the least, but the trip home gave us time to talk reasonably, and she's already been much more understanding. She dropped me off here this morning, in fact, when I made it clear that waiting through the entire school day to contact you would have been unbearable."
As Maura rambled, Jane found a goofy grin creeping onto her face, only one part of her drawn out explanation. "You got expelled for me?"
"Well, it was hardly just for you," Maura defended, though her smile soon matched Jane's. "There were other factors I considered as well, and—" she stopped short as she felt Jane's fingers dance across the back of her palm. "Fine, it was mostly for you," she confessed, stepping closer. The distance between them was nearly nonexistent as this point, and they were standing much too close for a comfortable conversing distance, though both of them kept their feet firmly planted in their designated places. "And, well…" Maura paused, in a rare moment fumbling for her words, her cheeks inflaming with color. "I figured that I owed you your first proper kiss. I'm not quite sure our other one really counted, and I became most worried that if my absence became too extended, someone else might beat me to it."
Their next motions were natural, though each girl was trembling with bated anticipation as their movements feel into place. Maura brought her hand up to Jane's cheek, stroking the skin softly with her thumb as he eyes locked with Jane's, which were filled with adoration and yearning, and perhaps a small hint of fear. Jane automatically brought her hands to Maura's waist, fitting them lightly around her hips.
Maura tilted her head, leading the kiss, as it was hers to give. She closed her eyes as her lips made contact with Jane's, feeling Jane's shallow breath wash across her face. She fit Jane's lower lip between hers, sucking gently, almost coming undone with the sheer intensity of the simple, yet intimate contact. Kissing had never felt so right before. Not wanting to push too far on what was technically Jane's first kiss, Maura pulled away a few moments later, searching for Jane's eyes.
"That was…" Jane breathed heavily, her heart pounding more erratically than if she had just run a mile.
"Mhm," Maura muttered, in no state to be loquacious, agreeing with Jane's breathy assessment.
"Can we do it again?" Jane's skin turned a hue darker, her eyes yearning with want as she dipped her head closer to Maura's again.
Maura didn't need to be told twice, finding Jane's lips more eagerly this time. Jane moaned softly, becoming lost as her hesitancy faded, too consumed to worry if her amateur kissing skills were adequate enough to keep up with Maura's experience. Kissing her best friend was less frightening and less guilt-inducing than Jane had imagined. Their relationship had taken a natural turn, and Jane felt a ripple of relief pulse through her body as she realized the agonizing tension and uncertainty wouldn't be there to taunt her any longer. Of course, there were other concerns that needed thought and consideration as the two ventured into uncharted territory, but they were only an afterthought for now as Jane savored this blissful moment.
The two jumped as the end of the period bell blared loudly, reverberating off the lockers, letting out a collective breath as they realized there were no girls in the class period. They had a moment to collect themselves before the girls from the next PE session would arrive, though Jane was quite certain she did not want to be here when they did.
"Come on, let's get out of here." Jane nodded toward the exit in the back of the locker room, fitting Maura's hand in her grasp as she guided her toward the door.
"Shouldn't you go to your next class?" Maura inquired, though she made no effort to remove her hand from Jane's nor halt their advance to the door.
"This is coming from the girl who purposely failed all her classes," Jane laughed, knowing that this was going to be an easy topic to bring up in good humor much more than Maura would have appreciated.
"At least I attended them all," Maura raised an eyebrow, playing into Jane's humor much to her surprise.
"Okay, if you really want me to leave you then..." Jane threatened, beginning to tug her hand away from Maura's.
Maura latched onto Jane's hand a bit tighter, her silent protest all the confirmation that Jane need. "That's what I thought. And don't you worry too much about me missing class - I'm pretty sure I'm guaranteed a 4.0 at this point, with the way the teachers are tiptoeing around me as if I'm likely to explode, so I doubt attendance even matters at this point."
Jane pushed open the door, stepping out into the sunny autumn morning. She shivered slightly, the brightness of the sun quite misleading, and her long sleeved t-shirt hardly offered her any protection.
"Should we go back to get your coat?" Maura's eyebrows knitted in immediate concern.
"Nah, I'll be fine. Besides, I have you to keep me warm," she winked, snuggling up closer to Maura.
"I'm not hurting your hand, am I?" Maura could feel the unevenness of Jane's scars pressing up against her own palm.
"You're fine," Jane assured her, giving Maura's hand a gentle squeeze. Though it was still tender, the warmth and security she felt with Maura's hand nestled in hers far outweighed the minimal pain.
"So were are you taking us, Miss Rizzoli?" Maura spoke lightly, though her words did pose a legitimate concern.
"We could go anywhere - we have the world at our finger tips. Well, all of Boston at least," Jane said with a flourish of her free arm, motioning toward the looming city.
Perhaps a few months ago they would have seized the moment, basking in their uninhibited freedom they had bought themselves, but the girls held a mutual hesitancy at the idea of adventure. It was Maura who reined them back to reality. "My mother gave me money to take a taxi home. And she wants me to call her when I've returned safely," she spoke, and then added, "Though there's plenty of space in a cab for two. You are most welcome to join me."
"Don't mind if I will," Jane smiled, immediately embracing the idea, an image of the two making out on Maura's bed assaulting her as she thought about it some more. She felt her knees grow a little weak.
"You don't think your mother will mind, do you?" Maura brought up the topic Jane had been conveniently ignoring. "You should call her as well when we arrive at my house." Maura's mother had not yet replaced her broken cell phone, leaving the two without an accessible form of communication at hand.
"Ugh, do we have to bring my mother into this?" Jane sighed in an overdramatic manner.
"If you believe she'll be upset at the prospect of you missing more school, perhaps you'd better wait until to end of the day to come over," Maura spoke regrettably, looking down at their still intertwined hands.
"Fine, I'll call her," Jane huffed. "She'll probably be more than happy, actually. I'm pretty sure she values my happiness over my education, and being with you has me smiling for the first time in weeks."
Maura frowned. "I'm sorry if my absence was hard on you." They walked to the end of the block, waiting at the curb so they could hail a cab.
"I'm just glad you're back," Jane murmured as they waited for a taxi to pass.
"Did you really ever doubt I would return?" Maura let her head fall against Jane's shoulder.
"No," Jane answered, her lips brushing Maura's hair. "But I thought it might take a while. I was ready to wait, though. You are happy to be back though, right?" Jane knew the answer, but she couldn't help but to worry she had forced Maura to pluck herself prematurely away from a brighter future.
Maura lifted her head, pressing her lips against the edge of Jane's jaw before lightly brushing them against Jane's mouth. She felt Jane smile, and she let her lips linger for a moment, giving Jane all the confirmation she needed.
A/N: Thank you so much for reading and sticking with me even though I update like a turtle ;) I'm far from done with the Rizzles fandom, so look out for more fics in the near future. I'm also always open to prompts and suggestions, so feel free to message me here or on tumblr if ever feel so inclined. It's been fun writing for you guys, and thanks again for all your support :)