…I am disappointed with myself…I am so sorry for this bullshit right here, but I will not change it cuz I have no more f-ing patience for my writers block to wear down completely and honestly is just don't give a F any more. So try to dead out your brain as you read or read the only last part cuz the rest sucks, I suck, I'm sorry, I'll put this story out of it's misery soon.

Disclaimer: If I owned drrr, this would probably be better, no?

His days were monotone. They were days of an animal struggling for survival. Get up, eat, work, fuck, sleep. Rinse and repeat. He found no joy in life. No joy in anything. He wasn't truly needed in this world. He wasn't anyone important. He was just a pawn on someone else's playing board. Not one of the important pawns, just a little black pawn you sacrifice to beat the king.

Nothing more.

Nothing less.

The raven sighed as he neared his so called home. The heat outside was killing him, but he never gave up on wearing his trademark black clothes. They were his uniform. Uniform of a sacrificial pawn. Besides, maybe he'll get lucky and the heat will kill him.

He was too much of a coward to do the job himself.

His life was nothing but series of humiliation, so many that he wondered how is he even able to act the way he does. How is he able to act smug and all knowing when he's been pinned to the ground and rolled like a dog way to many times.

Humans are such amazing creatures, he noted. Even when they are completely beat, they still will not shut their ego down. Always thinking the best of themselves no matter how far you push them.

But…

He stopped.

The light on the road turned red.

Is that really so?

Rather then that, humans are just always adjusting. Using mimicry. Hiding their emotions and painting new ones on their face. To fit in, to be accepted. Like chameleons. Yeah, that sort of made more sense. Every human was born with a natural ability to use emotional mimicry. It was a self defense system designed by nature.

Those who didn't have it or didn't use it would be isolated.

And they would die.

World doesn't stand differences.

It's just the way of natural selection.

…

But how do you need to push a person with good working mimicry system to break? To stop using it…it would be like staring into their mind. No thought would be filtered. Everything would come out nice and raw and completely natural. No mask, no paint no anything.

He smiled.

The light turned green and the raven crossed the road.

-IS-

"I'm home~" Informant called as he strode into the kitchen and left the groceries.

There was no response so he looked for his brute in the living room. As expected, the blond monster was sprawled over the coach napping. He grinned and pinched the blonde's cheek.

"Oi, Oi, Shizu-chan~ No fair. I'm here working my butt of and you jus sleep all day. Lazy monster!"

A hand quickly shot up and grabbed his shirt pulling him down. The raven emitted a screech of surprise as he plummeted to the floor accompanied by the monster.

"Shi-zu-chan! What's the big idea!?"

The blond covered his eyes with his hand and groaned; "Be quiet, flea. It's to early for this."

"It's almost noon, Shizu-chan."

"So it's fucking hell early."

…

"Ne, ne Shizu-chan, mind getting off of me, you are heavy."

"No."

The informant sighed and started pushing the brute off; "Come on, Shizu-chan, some of us actually have work to do."

"Shut it flea."

The informant scowled, battling to keep his temper under control. He hated when Shizuo treated him like this. He wasn't brute's property…well technically he was, but he was still his own person. He should be allowed to decide if he didn't like something and a huge, fat ass monster atop of him was not something he particularly enjoyed.

Shizuo chuckled and rolled over, embracing Izaya. He kissed the raven's forehead and trailed butterfly touches across his skin.

"You are beautiful." The blond breathed out and kissed the smaller male.

Izaya put on a fake smile and relaxed into the kiss. He should want this touches, these feelings. They were gentle and considering. Loving and compassionate.

But…he hated them.

He hated the ownership they represented and act that they led too.

And sure enough, Shizuo pinned his hands up and the raven let his mind haze away as minutes of his life passed in pleasing the brute.

He hated him.

He hated his life.

He hated himself.

-I-

The summer storm drew in as the raven escaped his prison. The beast was long asleep and unaware of his actions. Izaya trailed across the rooftops, breathing the hot air trapped beneath the rain filled clouds. The sky was grim, dipped in purple and dark blue. He loved this kind of weather the most. So claustrophobic and wild in the same time.

Too bad he always had to go back.

Always back to the monster whose leash he was.

The informant sat on the edge of the building he was currently scaling. He looked down at the town, at the people small and vulnerable as insects, crawling beneath his feet. All he needed to do is put his foot down and he would crush them all. Turn them into disgusting mess of guts, slime and blood. He could reach down and grab those he hated the most. Tear them up limb by limb, watch them cry and beg for mercy but he would not be merciful for they never were. He would leave them limbless in the gutter and watch as they slowly die from blood loss. And he would laugh and laugh and laugh.

Just like they laughed at him.

At the defenseless boy who was all alone in the world.

He chuckled, relishing the thought and curled up on the roof.

How wonderful would that be? To take revenge. To make everybody that maid him suffer squirm in pain. To make them scream so much their vocal cords snap.

Truly a wonderful idea.

He felt water on his face and looked up to the stormy sky. Was it raining already? All the same, he would rather get all wet then come back home this soon. A little water newer hurt anybody.

"Hey, there bitch. Nice to see you again."

He automatically sat up at that voice, his mind warning him about the danger. The informant scowled as he recognized the messy hair and the scared face.

Scare made by fire.

Fire speeding through the deadly tube in the arena full of death traps designed only for the entertainment of some sick bastards.

The raven stood up, his body ready for both fight and flight as he addressed the one that wasn't so lucky that day.

"What do you want Ran?"