Okay everyone this chapter was a hard one to write and an even harder one to read when I read it back. I am at the end of this story and will be finishing it up within the next chapter or two. Please let me know what you think!
Chapter 25:
"Thank you Raf." Olivia whispered a few hours later to a sleeping Rafael. He and Noah were curled up in the lounge chair together snoring in unison. Olivia watched them both for a while and thought back to the first few times Noah and Rafael met and spent time together. She smiled as she thought about the boys, her boys, making pasta together and the mess that ensued. She had a tear roll down her cheek when she thought back to the first time Noah went to him first instead of her. She chuckled at the memories of Noah and Barba invertedly matching on the days he would dress Noah for her and how quite a few pair of Noah's pants now had holes in the waist for suspenders. She sighed as she remembered standing outside of Noah's bedroom as she watched Rafael softly sing Noah lullabies and his favorite Broadway songs both in English and Spanish. She watched them sleep a bit longer and rolled her eyes as both of her boys moved in their sleep in unison which had them both on their backs with an arm above their head and mouth wide open.
As Noah shifted again a few minutes later she saw Rafael's eyes flutter open as he readjusted as well. "Hey." He croaked as he moved to take a sip of water. "Hey." She replied as she smiled back at him. He maneuvered himself to allow Noah the entire loveseat and stood groaning. "Remind me to remind you in 50 years to not allow me to have a lounge chair. My back is killing me." He groaned through his stretches. "Ha! You're getting old, old man." She chuckled back as he shot her a warning look as he walked back over and sat down on the bed facing her. "Let me remind you just how old I am." He said as he leaned in to kiss her softly only to pull away as she moaned and growled at him. "You are a mean one Counselor." She said as he grinned and stated, "So I've been told Lieutenant." "Barb.. we need to talk." She stated and he looked at her with a concerned look on his face as he sat back a bit.
"Olivia, what's wrong?" He asked as he looked at her. "Barb. I love you. You know that right?" She asked as he took a quick sigh and stood up to put space between him and her. "What are you trying to say Olivia?" He stated quietly trying not to let his emotions overwhelm him. "I just.." She started as she smiled at him with tears in her eyes and he nodded as he took a deep breath. With his eyes focused on the ceiling as he attempted to not let the tears sting his eyes he asked, "What do you want Olivia? From me? For us?" "Raf.. come.. sit down." She stated as she patted the bed at her knees. He walked over towards the bed but did not sit and stayed just out of her reach. "I love you Rafael Tomas Barba. You are an amazing friend, man, lover, and father." She started as he looked at Noah while keeping his tears at bay. "You have shown me what love can really be while also showing me just how hard love it. But I can't continue this.. I can't keep doing this." She said as tears hit both their eyes. She kept a tight smile while looking at him while he kept his eyes on Noah while tears streamed his face and his breath shortened.
"Rafael, look at me." She stated as he turned his head to meet her wet eyes with his deep, red, raw ones. "What do you want from me Olivia? What do you want me to say?" He asked as he stopped himself from letting anymore tears fall. He did not want to give her that power as his heart continued to break. ""Rafael I need you to understand. I need you to understand that I do not want to break this off and I do not want to break your heart but I need you to understand that your jealousy and your ego is tearing me apart. It's tearing us apart." She said as she started to cry harder and his face became tight and she watched as he attempted to control his breathing while the tears continued to fall. "Rafi.. I want you, no, I need you to realize that in order for us to continue, for us to work you have to trust me. Just as I trust you. You need to realize that I am yours and that you do have a heart and soul someone can love indefinitely." She said as she smiled at him. "Raf. I don't want to lose you but your pushing me away. Don't push me away." She finished as he quickly made his way to her and kissed her.
"Don't let me lose you. Olivia, save me." He choked out as he started to cry harder while he took her in his arms. "Olivia don't let me do this to us. Tell me how to fix this." He cried as they held each other. "I love you Olivia. I want, I need to see the colors again. Help me see the colors again." He continued as they both locked eyes on each other again seeing each other in a new light as their revelations hit home fully. "Olivia, I want you, need you, to save me. Not just tonight but tomorrow, next week, next year, next century. You are my light in the darkness and Noah is my path towards my future. Both of you are guiding me to be a better friend, a better lover, a better man, and a better father." He started as he took her hand in his. "Liv I never once believed I would be in a relationship like this and I never once believed I would be with a woman who would test me and keep me on my toes as you do. Furthermore, I never once thought I would be a father. I grew up in a home where the only father I had was a fist or a yell. Liv, you and Noah taught me how to live and how to see the light in this world." He said through tears as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a pouch and Liv's hands went to her mouth as she watched him.
"Olivia, I love you. I never want to lose you and I never want to disappoint you and Noah ever again. I want to spend the rest of my life showing you just how I will do this and show you just how amazing you are. When we started down this journey I asked you to let me show you just how amazing you are and for you to let me show you just how amazing you are. Now I am asking for your hand, your heart, your forever." Rafael stated as he held his grandmother's ring in his fingers while looking at her with tears in his eyes. "Let me show you for not and forever just how much I love you and just how much I love Noah. Marry me, Olivia. Be my light and color forever."