Fandom: Supernatural
Characters: Sam
Pairings: none
Rating: General
Warnings: none
Summary: Sam wonders about the What ifs of their life
Day 25: What If
Sometimes I wonder if life would be different if mom was still alive. I mean, I guess it would be, dad wouldn't be this obsessed…person, I'd actually have a mom, and we'd be a normal family. There would be no hunting monsters. Thing is, mom was a hunter when she was younger. She had tried getting out, but we know better than anyone, once you're a hunter, you stay a hunter. So, maybe…things wouldn't be all that different. I don't know. All I know, is, when I look at Dean, I wish things had been different for him. He hadn't had a chance to be a kid. And that's not fair. Maybe if he had had a chance to be a kid, he'd be different. Again, I don't know but I always wonder. There are times, when I look at mom's picture, that I wonder, If dad hadn't gone into my nursery the night mom died. How different things would be if he hadn't seen mom pinned to the ceiling. I guess…maybe I would've died along with her. Or maybe Azazel would've taken me with him and raised me like a demon. God, that's one thing I am glad never really came true.
When Dean nudges my shoulder and asks me if I wanna go for a drive because its hot as balls in this motel room, I stand and shake my head. I stop wondering about the what ifs. Because, right here? Is where I prefer to be.