Ino holds her baby as she sits across from Sasuke. The chair he's sitting in is hard and uncomfortable, and when he looks at the other chairs around the table, he sees they are all mismatched, clearly secondhand. The apartment she's living in with Shikamaru is cheap, then, along with their furniture, a couch that's missing some of its stuffing, worn throw pillows that don't match anything, including each other, a table cloth with a vase of flowers almost completely hiding a coffee stain.

Sasuke wonders if this is the kind of place he might've gotten with Sakura, this starter apartment.

He derails that train of thought, though, because it just confuses him more. He's so set on leaving her behind, but he can't stop thinking about a future with her. Why does it seem like all roads lead him right back to where he started?

"Ino," he says flatly, and he runs a hand through his snow-wet hair in stress. "There's so much about Sakura that I don't know, and so much about her that you know without even trying. What the hell does she want from me?"

Ino's eyes narrow. Her grip around Hana becomes marginally tighter. Sasuke prepares himself for the onslaught because he knows that even if he won't like what Ino has to say, she won't pull punches. She'll tell him what's what. She'll answer questions he hasn't even thought about asking and that's exactly what he needs right now.

"That's between you two," she sniffs haughtily. "Sakura hasn't told me what she wants from you. She barely said a word about you after you left, and why should she waste the breath? You didn't even tell her why you were leaving."

It stings. But it stings the way it feels when you pour antiseptic into a recent wound: like relief is soon to follow.

"I won't waste your time and mine, telling you what a remorseless asshole you are for what you did to her," Ino continues. "But you didn't break her, Sasuke. Sakura's not the kind to break, not even when you do the shitty things you did to her…she put herself together. I couldn't have had this baby without her, you should've seen the way she came through for me."

Hana giggles on cue, and tries to stuff her little hand into her mouth; Ino bats it away automatically and plants an adoring kiss on her daughter's shiny blonde curls.

"I thought Sakura was pregnant," Sasuke reveals, watching baby Hana. He tries to redo her face, her eyes, her hair, with Sakura's features in mind, and maybe his as well. Black hair would have dominated pink, but he thinks her green eyes would have come through in a child. He knows already this magic baby would have been beautiful.

"So you left?" Ino scoffs, telling him with a roll of her eyes exactly what she thinks of that. "That's great. What if she had been?"

"I didn't think it was mine," Sasuke sighs. There's no reason to lie, to pull punches with Ino because she won't do that with him. Even if his twisted belief system sounds so pathetic now the more he vocalizes it.

"I see. So you figured Sakura was pregnant, decided that, as her boyfriend, it couldn't be yours, and without even asking her about it, you rolled out without even a word, never mind knowing she's been on birth control since high school?"

Sasuke pinches the bridge of his nose. How could he have done something so stupid?

"But let's not pretend that's the only reason you left," Ino presses. "Face it, Sasuke. You were scared about what your relationship with Sakura was turning into."

Sasuke freezes. What the hell is she talking about? His eyes narrow inquisitively.

"I grew up with you, idiot," she reminds him coldly. "I know all about the shit with your family. Maybe not everything," she amends quickly, seeing the way his gaze becomes murderous, "but I know how much you want to please them. It was your whole motivation back in high school and it's your whole motivation now. And you weren't expecting to meet someone like Sakura, but you did. And that wasn't in your plan, was it?"

"Hn."

Ino looks satisfied as she rocks a sleepy Hana in her arms. Even though she's a new mother, she's lost none of her fiery spirit, none of her energy, and Sasuke begrudgingly admires this frustrating young woman, and wonders how much Sakura contributed to her success.

"I know you, Sasuke. I know you didn't bother with girls in high school and no one thought you'd bother with them in college but you never counted on meeting Sakura, and she blew all your preconceived notions about relationships right to hell. And I get it, because I never thought I'd meet a girl like Sakura either. I never thought I'd find a friend so wonderful, so amazing in a place like Konoha University but I did and that's what makes us different: that didn't scare me."

"Don't pretend it's the same thing," Sasuke snaps, speaking in his own defense for the first time. "Sakura's your friend. She's never been just that to me."

"Oh so what?" Ino shoots back, impatient. "Men are such babies. You and I both know what Sakura means to you, you don't need me to spell it out for you. You're in love with her. It's like she was designed specifically for you, to help you become a better person and she needed you around, too, to get her through her own shit. And being so attached to a person scared you, so you jumped ship at the first hiccup and you broke her heart and yours and I do not feel sorry for you."

Sasuke never thought of it in these terms. Was he really intimidated by his connection with Sakura? Was that the motivation for his leaving, the catalyst to their relationship coming apart at the seams?

Perhaps trust didn't play as big a part in their demise as he'd originally thought. Perhaps it was his own cowardice, his fear of attachment, that led to their destruction.

"I think the split was good for you both," Ino says quietly, and he looks up at her in surprise. "I'm not saying I loved the idea. But it taught Sakura to stand up on her own, and take charge of her own life because there's no guarantee you'll have anyone but yourself when the chips are down. She's acing all her classes and she's popular and everyone loves her and I couldn't have had Hana without her.

"And it taught you to miss the things you never thought you'd miss. Sasuke I don't know how badly your head's fucked up because of your family, maybe I'll never know. But they're dead. Okay? They're dead and they can't control you anymore. Do you really think they would have wanted you to be unhappy?"

He's reminded of Sakura's words to him earlier, her sadness that he was not pursuing his own happiness, her conviction that he was his own person without Uchiha, her belief that he should do what makes him happy, rather than what satisfies the nonexistent demands of a family that's been dead for years.

And he sees that this whole time, even though she's never said it, Sakura's loved him the right way. She's loved him unselfishly, without any expectation besides his own happiness in mind. She's wanted nothing but the best for him.

And he's loved her all wrong.

What's the best thing for Sakura?

Can he even answer that anymore?

Could he have ever answered that with any measure of conviction?

"She loved you," Ino murmurs. "She loved you as much as she can, and when that wasn't enough, she loved you even more. The question is do you love her enough to fight for her?"

"What do you mean by that."

"Your relationship was intense. Still is. And it was never going to be easy. Sakura was willing to fight for it because she sees something in you that nobody else does, something worth fighting for. You turned tail and ran the second things got too real. And Sakura didn't deserve that. You hurt her and you hurt yourself and the question is, are you going to do it again?"

xoxoxo

Naruto doesn't look surprised when Sakura knocks on his door. He's one of her boys, after all, and maybe she doesn't give him enough credit. Maybe she doesn't really appreciate how well he knows her.

He doesn't look surprised to see tears streaming from her eyes in rivers and smearing her makeup and her hair's a mess and she's disheveled and she can barely articulate the thoughts running rampant through her head, and what comes out is, "Did he ever love me?"

Naruto takes her hand in his own and pulls her inside. He closes the door behind her, sits her on the edge of his bed, and hands her a tissue. He sits beside her and wraps a comforting arm around her shoulders and she cries and cries and he lets her, because she needs to.

Then he replies, "He never stopped."

But Sakura doesn't understand. Because if Sasuke loved her, he wouldn't have left, right? He wouldn't have left for a whole year, right? He wouldn't have put her through this if he loved her, if he ever loved her at all.

"Sasuke's the dumbest person on the planet," Naruto continues wistfully. "He's too stupid to see what he really wants, and too scared to fight for it. That's always been his problem. I thought he'd get over himself when he met you, but he didn't. But that doesn't mean he won't, Sakura. Don't give up on him."

"Why not?" she sobs, gripping the tissue so hard it tears. "Why shouldn't I let him go? He let me go before. I know he's going to do it again. Why do I have to hang onto something that he doesn't even care about?"

She's coming apart at the seams, she realizes, seconds from a complete emotional breakdown. The discussion with Sasuke did nothing but open wounds she'd sloppily stitched together months before without healing first. She wants him to stay, more than she's ever wanted anything. She wants him to be happy, even if that happiness doesn't include her, and he's making all the wrong choices.

She can't save him from his own ambition.

At this rate, Sasuke will become the best lawyer in the country. He will win every case and he will earn fame and wealth and success; his family name will be redeemed. And at the end of it, he will have nothing but that name. He will have thrown away his friendships, his heart. He will have discarded all the things that make him Sasuke, and retain only the things that make him Uchiha.

The person she loves will cease to exist.

It's already starting.

How can Sakura halt this process? How can she shake some sense into him, that there is more to life than pleasing a family that's gone? How can she show him that he's worth everything, that there is happiness in his future if he will just reach out and accept it?

He won't fight for her. He won't even fight for himself.

What else is there to do, but let go?

"Don't give up on him, Sakura," Naruto says firmly. He pulls back and looks at her, and his sunny blue eyes are serious, almost stormy. There's no lingering mirth in the tanned contours of his face, nothing but sternness that borders on severity. She's never seen this look before.

"He needs you. He's loved you since he met you but Sasuke doesn't know how to love the right way. You can't let go of him now.

"You can't let go of him ever."

xoxoxo

It's dawn when Sasuke meets Sakura in the middle of campus.

She hasn't slept. It's obvious in the tired lines under her red-rimmed eyes. Sasuke feels more dead than alive until he looks at her, and even in her exhaustion, she is beautiful.

He's walking from Ino's, full of new perspective and new questions and new answers. And he isn't sure where she's walking from, but he thinks that maybe she's been looking for him, because there is almost relief in her too-green eyes when they fall on his face.

She's wearing sweatpants and a hoodie that he thinks belongs to him, or at least it did, once upon a time, her tiny dancer's feet stuffed into snow boots. Her hair is curly and wild and she looks cold, and she is far and away the most beautiful girl in the world, framed like color itself against a snowy white backdrop. And he thinks, How could I have left you? And he thinks How could I leave you again?

xoxoxo

It's dawn when Sakura meets Sasuke in the middle of campus.

He hasn't slept. His face is paler than usual, dark circles under his dark eyes and fringed by his dark hair. And there's vulnerability in his eyes, a rare, fleeting vulnerability that makes her love him even more.

She's been looking for him. Because Sasuke's one of her boys but so is Naruto, and Naruto tells her not to give up on Sasuke, and she has to listen to that, because she loves her boys equally, just in different ways. She doesn't know where he's coming from, doesn't know where he's been, as he emerges from the snowy dawn like the ghost of her scariest nightmares and fondest memories.

He looks absurdly handsome, tall and dark and strong, in his jeans and jacket with the snow all around him. He's looking at her like she's the key to all the mysteries of life, and she drinks him in with her eyes like she'll never see him again, and maybe she won't. And she thinks, Why did you leave me? And she thinks, Don't ever leave me again.

xoxoxo

And Sasuke moves closer.

xoxoxo

And so does Sakura.

xoxoxo

The world is silent. The world is empty, except for them. The snow vanishes, the light vanishes. There is nothing for miles and years except for Sasuke and Sakura.

For a moment, they stare. Somehow this moment is significant, this quiet tumult that brews between them like a hurricane. For a moment, Sasuke drinks in pink hair and soft skin and green eyes that have always been too green, too full. For a moment, Sakura commits black hair and black eyes to memory, revels in the scent and look and presence of the broken boy she loved and still loves and will love tomorrow more than she loves him today.

Just for a moment.

"Hey," she says.

"Hey," he says.

Then there is Sakura's arms around his neck. And Sasuke's hands on her back, in her hair. There are no more words, though, no words because words have always, always failed them, and this moment is too important to fail.

There's new life there, life in the dead of winter, among the ashes of a relationship that seemed just another college casualty. There's Sasuke's lips pressed to the crown of pink hair, and a soft sigh of exhausted relief. The world is a world away and there's only old love and new trust and hope forever.

Sasuke can't leave Sakura.

And Sakura can't give up on Sasuke.

And Naruto was right.

note.. Almost done with this one :)

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