Ok guys we are getting close to the end of this story. Well at least the end I have had written for this since I started this back in December. This story became so much more than I had thought it would when I started writing it. Now for those of you who also read my story A Life With Alex Danvers you might find a familiar place in this chapter. Any way happy reading. As always look forward to the reviews.
Maggie had never been so happy. Felt so loved. Alex was everything she had been looking for. Without ever having to try they knew what the other needed at any given moment. They had been together a little over 8 months and she was more in love with Alex than she had ever thought possible. Turning her away all those months ago had almost been the biggest mistake of her life. Then she had almost lost her. It had been a month since the attack and the images of Alex being pummeled by that White Martian hybrid and lying on the operating table with no heartbeat still haunted her.
Alex spent 2 weeks in the medical wing of the DEO before Warren let her go home. She still had to take it easy. Which was no easy task for Maggie but luckily, she had a few tricks up her sleeve. Since Maggie had almost lost Alex she knew that she needed to tell Alex everything. She had already given Alex the short version of her coming out story but the Natalie and Kate betrayal was just that. Beyond those words, she hadn't been able to tell Alex anything. She knew that she wanted to spend the rest of her life with this beautiful, kind hearted, extremely patient woman. But she couldn't do that if she didn't tell her the truth about her coming out to her parents and how her best friend and girlfriend at the time had cheated on her.
A few months ago, she would have been afraid that telling Alex all these things would make her realize that Maggie really was damaged goods and she wouldn't want to be with her. But Maggie knew that wasn't the case. Alex had managed to tear down most of the wall that was surrounding Maggie. Alex couldn't tear down the rest of that wall Maggie had to. It terrified her. She had spent all those years building that wall and it had done a good job of protecting her but it had also done a fair amount of damage as well. But was she ready for this. Was she ready to relive the most horrible moments of her life?
That was the one part of her life that she held on to with a vice like grip. This is the first time she had even allowed herself to think about that part of her life. It just hurt too much. Because of the injuries, she sustained in that alien attack Alex was forced to take some time off. Maggie took that as the prime opportunity to give Alex the rest of herself. She was taking her to Nebraska. Not Blue Springs but a town 50 miles away where she had a cabin. She knew Alex wasn't big into camping but Alex wouldn't mind because she would be with her. Maybe this would be a good time. She would need a good bottle of whiskey to get through this conversation but it had to happen.
Alex had been home for 2 weeks. She couldn't remember ever feeling this run down before. The 2 weeks she had been in the medical wing weren't her best moments. She refused most of the pain meds Warren had wanted to give her. They always made her head foggy and she didn't want to lose anymore moments. She had almost died protecting the woman she loved and almost lost her memories of her. Now she was going stir crazy. Her burns had healed for the most part, still some red irritated skin. Her dislocated thumb wasn't usable but fine otherwise. Her shoulder was still giving her some trouble. Her ribs though, were still painful. She had to be careful of her movements. Too fast and they protested with searing pain. She still suffered from the occasional headache that threatened to rip her skull in two.
She was just about to call Steph to see if she wanted to come over and keep her company when Maggie walked through the door looking worn out like always. But there was something else there today.
Maggie set her bag on the counter and made her way over to the couch and gave Alex a quick kiss on the lips. "So, I talked to J'onn and he has given me the next 2 weeks off. There isn't much going on with CADMUS at the moments so I figured we could get away for a bit. Get you out of the apartment."
Alex felt it when Maggie had kissed her. Tension. Something was occupying Maggie's thoughts enough to make her tense. Maybe that was why she wanted to get away not just to get Alex out of the apartment. To be honest Alex wanted nothing more than to get out of the apartment and out of the city. With the condition, she was still in she didn't think it was a good idea. Maybe if her ribs had healed a bit more. "Maggie it's a great idea but I don't think Warren is going to give the ok for something like this."
"Oh, don't worry he is the first one I asked. He said as long as I don't over stimulate you it will be fine."
"Now I'm curious as to where your taking me?"
Maggie sat on Alex's lap and wrapped her arms around her neck. She kissed Alex on the cheek and playfully said, "That's for me to know and you to find out Danvers."
They had been here for 2 days Alex loved the cabin and the solitude that it provided. After the alien attack that was something they both need. Alex had hoped that coming out here would have eased some of Maggie's tension. Something was on Maggie's mind and Alex just wanted her to know what it was so she could help. If she felt 100% she would push a little harder. Get her to open up. She just had to keep telling herself that Maggie brought her to Nebraska for a reason and she would tell her when she was ready. For now, Alex focused on this exact moment. It was almost summer so the temperature was warm but not hot. Not exactly the perfect temperature but pretty close. Maggie was inside making coffee and breakfast. She insisted Alex go outside and soak up the beautiful sunrise.
The cabins porch faced the mountains and the sun peeking out of them in the morning was so beautiful. The first morning Alex woke to an empty bed. Maggie had wanted to show Alex the beautiful sunrise but wanted to do it with coffee and her signature cinnamon rolls. Something she had never made for Alex before and what a beautiful sunrise it had been. Not just the sunrise itself but the company she had shared it with.
Maggie knew that she had to tell Alex tonight. She could tell Maggie was hiding something. As far as Maggie was concerned she would rather not relive this part of her past. But she had to if she had any hope of marrying this woman one day. Because that is the future she saw. Marrying Alex and spending the rest of their lives together. But for now, she just wanted to breath in the sight of her beautiful girlfriend in the Nebraska sun light.
"How are you feeling?" Maggie asked after they had finished breakfast.
"Better. My head still hurts but not nearly as bad as the few days after I left the hospital. My shoulder and ribs feel better too. Not at 100% but not as painful."
"Think you would be up for a small hike."
"Yeah I think I could handle that."
"Ok we'll leave in an hour."
The hike hadn't been long but Alex had lied before at least about her ribs. The 45-minute hike over mostly flat terrain about killed her. But she sensed that Maggie had wanted to take her to a specific place. She had been right. It was a creek that had the most amazing field of wildflowers growing on either side. The smell alone was enough to take your breath away.
"My dad and I discovered this place one spring. We would come here for spring break as a family. That cabin was my great-grandfathers. When he passed, he left it to my Grams and she left it to me. After I went to college I would come back here every spring break. Usually just with Claire and Kate. Once Natalie entered the picture she came along too. When Steph was, old enough I taught her how to swim in the deeper part of the creek about 10 feet to your left."
Maggie pointed to a spot where the water seemed to stop. There was a small overhang of tree's shading the water from the sun. It also looked like there had once been a rope hanging off one of the branches but Alex couldn't be sure.
"She was terrified when dad was trying to teach her how to tread water. I jumped in and showed her it wasn't hard or terrifying. While scolding my dad at the same time for not teaching her how to float first like grandpa Sam had shown me. My dad just laughed and let me take over. After 2 hours, she was able to swim well enough that we didn't need to worry about her drowning." Maggie smiled at the memory. She had forgotten about that. This was the first time she had been back to the creek since she inherited the cabin. It had to many memories tied to it that she didn't feel like reliving. Until now.
Alex saw the briefest flicker of happiness after sharing that memory of her sister. But before Alex could even really process it she was back to the pained expression she had worn most of this trip. She was about to ask Maggie something about her family but she had started to speak again.
"This is also the same place I confided in my grandmother. About anything I didn't think I could talk to my mom about. We were close when I was younger. It was on a particularly cold spring day that Grams and I took an early morning walk to this creek and I told her that I liked girls. She didn't judge me. She just excepted it. Didn't ask any questions or call me a freak."
After that statement, Maggie paused. She had to collect herself. She couldn't do this it hurt too much. Maybe if her Grams was still here she could do this. Grams would have loved Alex. She would have told Maggie that she better not let this one get away. Just like every important person left in her life had since meeting Alex.
The tears that had been forming in Maggie's eyes fell freely now. She grabbed both of her hands in hers and looked Alex in the eye. "Alex I don't know how I got so lucky to have you in my life. I don't deserve you and I don't think I ever will."
Alex knew Maggie believed that. Alex knew differently. Maggie did deserve her. Did deserve the love that Alex had to offer. She would just have to spend the rest of her life showing Maggie that she did deserve her. That they deserved each other. Alex knew that there was nothing she could say to comfort Maggie. So, she wrapped her arms around her and brought her into as tight of a hug as her ribs would allow.
Once the tears had stopped flowing Maggie pulled out of the embrace and started speaking again, "Coming to this spot has reminded me of so many things that I have kept buried all these years. Some of them are the happiest memories from my childhood some are things that I have kept buried for a reason."
Alex pushed a strand of Maggie's hair and resting her hand on Maggie's cheek and gently stroking in with her thumb. Looking at her with as much reassurance as she could, "Maggie whatever it is you can tell me. I'm not going anywhere you have to know that."
"I do know." Maggie sat up to look at Alex, "I haven't been afraid of you leaving me since my sister was taken by CADMUS and when I almost lost you because I decided to start a fight with a White Martian hybrid when I should have waited for you to help. When someone risks their life for someone they must be pretty important." Maggie said with a hint of her usually cheery self.
"That is true." Alex said with a chuckle. God, she loved this woman. She knew that this place was hurting her but it was also helping her heal. Maybe this was all Maggie needed to finally open that part of herself to Alex. Maybe that was the purpose of coming here. For Maggie to finally give all of herself to Alex. But whatever it was that Natalie and Kate had done all those years ago, that she had kept bottled up inside had to be just as painful as almost losing Alex. This was the first-time Maggie had mentioned her parents with some kind of fondness. Until now, she had only talked about her grandmother and her sister. Alex knew that now wasn't the time to talk about her parents or the Natalie and Kate incident so she settled for a safe topic. "Tell me more about your grandmother."
"She would have liked you. I wish you two could have met. She was an amazing woman. She used to tell me stories of when she was younger. All the trouble she would get into. She said I was a lot like her. I was always causing trouble. We would compare stories and see who could out do the other. She was my best friend. I wasn't allowed to attend her funeral. Because I was gay. I used to say that was the worst day of my life but then I met you and almost lost you in to short a time. That became the worst day of my life. The 4th worst was telling my parents I was gay. I want to tell you about that and the 3rd worst day of my life but not here. This place holds only happy memories for me and I want to keep it that way. Be able to create many more happy memories here." Maggie took a moment to look at Alex and knew that she had made the right choice in bringing her here. In a way bringing her here had made telling her about her past easier. She knew what had to happen tonight.
"Alex I told you my parents kicked me out when I told them I was gay. It hurt but that isn't what broke me. I am going to tell you everything. Every single excruciating detail even if it rips me apart. What I need you to promise me is that you will just listen. No interruptions. If you do, I might not be able to start again."
"Of course. I will sit and only listen."
They stayed at the creek for a while longer. Sitting in silence. Alex pulled Maggie into her and just held her there. That was what she needed right now. Alex could tell that she had gotten shaken up just mentioning the parts of her past that she hadn't spoken about in 8 years. Maggie needed to feel the reassurance in the embrace. And she did Alex could feel the tension slowly leave her. She just hoped that her love for Maggie would be enough to bring her back from the pain of this nightmare she would be reliving tonight. That was the only thing Alex was afraid of. Maggie was more fragile regarding her emotions than she would ever let on.