Xander looked around the Halloween store. He has money this year. Money for an actual costume. Who knew? He looked around and he found the costume he would wear. Now if only he can find the real costume.

Ethan looked at Xander staring at the costume. Is he really that much of an ass? Of course the answer is yes. "Suits you?"

"With the exception of the mask I don't recognize it. Is it a new costume for the comics?" Xander asked curious he knows there were different costumes but he doesn't recognize this one.

Ethan nodded. "I believe it is."

Xander nodded. "Don't you have any of the traditional?"

Ethan shook his head. "Unless you are a five foot one girl no."

Xander thought on it but in the end took the costume. "Looks like a mixture of him and Moon Knight." Ever since that one idiotic decision he hasn't touched a single one of the comics. Maybe he should end his boycott and start reading again.

That night Cordelia ran as fast as she could from Jo Jo the dog faced boy. She knows this is Buffy's fault she's just not sure how yet. "Someone help!"

To her surprise she saw a figure in a white hood swing down on a rope and use both feet to kick Jo Jo and knock him out cold. The hooded figure let out another line as it let go of the old one and grabbed Cordelia and swung up to the roof of a house. As the two landed.

Cordelia looked at her savior. She's pretty sure she saw Xander in that get up at school. "OK, I appreciate the rescue but…" She sees her savior looking at her muscles and her armpits from the looks of it. "Seriously you're flexing?"

"No, someone's been screwing with my costume which means someone knows who I am." Xander defended himself.

Cordy rolled her eyes. "Factory error you're not really him. You delusional idiot."

"Right, that makes sense considering I just fought Frankenstein." The hero replied. "So, do you know where we can fix this lady?"

Cordy nodded. "I think I know."

The hero groaned. "Don't puke on my suit it's the only one I have now."

Cordelia looked at him confused. She knows it's Xander under there because she saw the dweeb earlier though it does seem he shrunk a bit. "Why would I?" Before she's lassoed to his back in a sticky rope. "Hey!" Xander's costume just jumped off the roof Cordy still attached. "I HATE YOU HARRIS!"

Giles rested best he could in his library hard at work. He turned to the ghost of Willow. "So... everyone became their costume?"

"That I know of." Willow replied. "Buffy was a 17th century girl and I was a ghost which probably means Xander is jumping off rooftops and fighting crime."

To their surprise the window smashes open and Xander just pulls the lasso freeing Cordelia. The teenager just ran to the trash can and promptly threw up. Xander just looked at her. "Lightweight."

Cordy glared at him trying to get her knees to not feel like they're made of jelly anymore. "Harris… go fu…" She promptly threw up.

Willow looked at him. "You've shrunk? Are you OK?"

"I'm fine… whoever you are." Xander replied.

Willow looked at him for a moment. "That mask really messes with your voice." She walked to the trashcan. "OK your name is Cordelia and you're not really a cat."

Cordy rolled her eyes at the redhead. "No kidding, is it that obvious? Thanks Willow! I almost missed the obvious!"

Willow looked at her surprised. "Wait, you remember me?"

"Yeah lucky me." Cordy groused. "What's going on?"

Giles looked at her. "Cordelia where did you get your costume?"

Cordelia looked at the hole in her costume and rolled her eyes in disbelief. Why her? "You think Party Town will give me my deposit back?"

Xander looked at the woman in disbelief. "Woe is you."

Giles turned to Willow. "Can you take me to where you bought your costumes? I believe we'll be able to stop this madness there."

Willow nodded. "I'm your girl." She quickly turned to Xander. "Do you mind going to Buffy's 1630 Revello Drive and check in on her and Angel?"

"On it." Xander assured them as he turned to Cordelia. "Are you coming?"

Cordy shook her head. "Absolutely not one time with you is enough for a stomach."

Xander shrugged innocently and then jumped out the window and ten feet into the air using a suddenly appearing white rope as a way to pull himself down the block.

Willow looked slightly open mouthed. "Wow!"

Giles silently nodded. What the hell did he go as? He couldn't under the hood.

Xander hopped to the roof still some time until Revello Drive but he sees another problem. Pirate attacking a woman… literally. Revello can wait.

Xander jumped down and the pirate aimed his gun Xander put his hand up and a rope compressed to a ball that knocked the gun out of his hand.

The pirate pulled out his sword. "Ye be a demon!"

"Just a good drummer." Xander countered.

Angel ran up and saw something he really wasn't expecting. OK, what the hell is he watching? From the scents he knows the one in white is Xander but no idea about the pirate. Hell he doesn't even think the pirate knows how far over his head he's in.

The Pirate kept swinging and Xander effortlessly dodged. The pirate swung for his head and Xander ducked he'd go low and Xander would jump enough for the blade to miss. Swings left and right he'd just side step. The pirate made a mad dashing lunge and Xander just front flipped over him. The pirate charged and Xander simply back flipped to get out of strike distance.

Xander put his hand out and rope snatched the sword from the pirate as it landed in his hand. The pirate rushed the Sunnydale teen who just cracked him in the head with the hilt knocking him out.

Xander turned to the a 17th century girl. "Are you OK lady?"

Buffy kept her focus on Angel. "He's a vampire."

Xander shook his head. "If he was a vampire he would have drank your blood by now."

Angel looked at him he couldn't fathom this as Xander especially with the weird voice. "She's not wrong."

"Oh" Xander replied weakly. "Then he's not an evil vampire. I mean he would have bit you while I was fighting Blackbeard."

Buffy turned to Angel. "Do you promise."

"Yes" Angel assured her.

Xander turned to him. "Really, like a real vampire?" Angel just nodded. The three were cut off by Spike entering with a calvacade of demons. "Are any of these guys real demons."

"Just the one that looks like Billy Idol." Angel replied.

Xander nodded. "So what do we do about him?"

"Kill him and try not to kill the others." Angel replied.

Xander looked around and put his hands together as his ropes turned into projectiles hitting the demons in the head knocking them out cold until only Spike remained. Xander aimed but all that was heard was an empty click. Xander looked down and disappointed and like he should have known that would happen as he let out a sigh. "Figures."

Spike let his game face out and Angel quickly matched it as Xander and Angel ran full fury into the other vampire. Spike for all his bravado is used to fighting one person at a time. Even one as strong as a slayer. Xander working on one side with Angelus on the other has left him crippled as he feels bruises from all the punches kicks as they alternate. He blocks the boy Angel hits him. He blocks Angel the boy hits him. He throws a punch at Angel whom ducks under it and Xander just smashes an elbow into the vampire's jaw. Spike stumbled backwards but used a roundhouse kick to recover but in a move that defied logic Xander bent Neo style putting all his weight on his knees as every thing above his knees bent backwards. Spike looked stunned till Angel caught him with a roundhouse kick. Xander took the moment and jumped on the dazed vampire three times using him as human ladder as he climbed up and landed behind the vampire kicking him in the back. Angel groaning wondering why the teen won't just use the sword to cut Spike's head off.

Spike took the open window and punched Angel the first bit of offense he's had. He turned around and punched as fast as he could with his left only for Xander to catch his fist. Spike repeated only for Xander to catch his other hand just like he planned as Spike quickly got his foot up and kicked him in his very human lungs driving the air out of him. "Not so quick now are we?"

Spike smiled and grabbed Xander by his lower back and back of the hood and threw him into the wall the teen's speed in aligning himself is the only reason he didn't go headfirst and break his neck as his back slammed into the wall. Spike went for the boy to see him calmly climbing up the wall with just gloved hands. "Right" He turned to Angel and saw a much more terrifying sight of lady useless taking her wig off seeing the slayer's return. "Bugger this!" He took out a knife he kept in case of pure demons and threw it right into Angel's side as the vampire toppled over and Buffy ran to his side giving him time to get away.

Xander hopped down and quickly put his arm out. Yeah, now that it's reloaded it's turned back into a toy.

Buffy checked he'll be fine being immortal stupid instincts. She turned to her friend. "Xander are you alright?"

Xander put his hand to his heart and immediately replied. "No! Oh god no!"

Buffy looked at him as she really looked him over and saw he didn't regrow and his voice hasn't changed now hat she's looking at him… "What's wrong?"

"Physically nothing, just, I need you to swear on your mom's life you won't laugh at me." Xander replied.

Buffy shook her head. "I can't do it." Especially not on the hellmouth Murphy practically lives here. "But I promise if I laugh I'll flash you. How's that sound?"

Xander thought on it with a smile for now. "Deal, Angel I'll just kick your ass if you laugh now."

Buffy and Angel watched as Xander lowered the cape giving them thier first view of his face tonight revealing a white Spider-Man mask. She knew he was some new Spider-Man costume only way to explain the impact webbing.

Xander took a weak little breath not believing this. His last moment of privacy as a normal human being for a good long while. He soaked it in and started with the mask.

Buffy watched and any joke or laugh she even could have had came to a crashing halt as the mask skimmed up. It revealed blond hair just as long as hers.

Xander took off the mask completely revealing a 5'7 blue eyed blond haired woman.

Angel let out a small little smirk in disbelief but it was enough for Xander to punch him in the face and even in the new body he went flying through the window.

"Xander!" Buffy scolded.

Xander pointed to the new hole in the house. "Hey, I warned him not to laugh!"

Buffy nodded seeing he had a point. "You did, and he did, maybe, what happened to you? Last I checked Peter Parker didn't have much going in the boob department."

Xander looked at himself. He's a monster. "Well, thanks to Ethan, whom I'm going to web up next time I see him and write free blood Charlotte's Web style. The Spider-Man I dressed as was actually a Spider Woman and what happens if Gwen Stacy gets bit and not Peter Parker."

Buffy looked Xander over. "Good to know."

Xander looked himself over still in disbelief. "Giles better be able to fix this!"

Xander hit the pause button. "OK… how long has Gwen Stacy been Spiderman?"

Willow looked at him. "Kind of missing the point aren't you?"

Xander shook his head. "No I want to know since when was that a thing?"

"Just recently." Willow assured him. "Haven't you been reading the comics?"

Xander shook his head. "Nope, I've been boycotting Marvel since One More Day spat in the face of every idea and conviction Spider-Man had and turned him into a thirty year old basement dweller."

Buffy looked at him that's what he's concerned about? "You know, figured you'd be more upset about being turned into a girl."

Xander gave a shrug. "OK 3 things. One this all seems to be in fun. Two that's not me. Three… I just bitch slapped Angel through a house how can I not enjoy that. Right Will?... Will?" He waved his hand in front of the redhead. "Hey, were you eye doing girl me."

Willow looked at him with a frown. "Would you believe no?"

Xander quickly hit skip chapter. "And we're done here."

Author Notes

Spider-Man is owned by Disney

Spider-Gwen the thing that made me pick up used comics to read the comics and still boycott Marvel and make sure they don't get a dime from me.