Lorraine had been ripping the labels off of the coffee cans for the past hour when she was discovered.
Benton was the one to open the food cupboard, no doubt looking for a can in order to make the drink for his superior. Instead the sergeant was greeted with the sight of a pile of shredded sticky labels, two stacks of either labeled or non-labeled cans on both sides of a rather disheveled looking teen.
She barely acknowledged him for a few seconds as her nails scratched on the new can in her hands. When Lorraine did look up her only action was to glare at Benton as though he was the one doing something rather strange and refusing to explain it.
For a moment Benton considered not dealing with this himself, and perhaps just collecting the tin himself and then closing the cupboard door again. Hopefully then leaving the situation to someone else who would be more qualified to talk to her about her apparent issues.
However he knew all the same that if he did leave it was just as likely that one of the teenager's many antagonists in the form of Privates who had lost a few lads in the field would find and take the chance t berate her to hell and back. The soldier took in a breath that could never really ready him for the situation ahead, and was about to ask the teenager what she was doing, before she interrupted him first.
"Do you even know how many trees died, just so you didn't have to open the tin and check if it was actually coffee? All that work, effort and glue, just to make labels. Imagine…" Lorraine trailed off in her impromptu speech as she looked up to Benton again. For a moment the sergeant wondered if she was either just realizing how strange she looked and sounded, or if she was worried that her next few words were going to be the thing to make her look that way.
Either way it didn't matter as she continued on regardless with her stream of thought.
"Imagine if you did open it and there wasn't actually coffee inside. Like there was some kind of a mix up at the factories, and there were sliced peaches instead of coffee. That would make the label completely pointless wouldn't it? That wouldn't just make those labels wrong, but all that effort and time spent making them, meant nothing," Lorraine's voice rattled on without stopping for breath, worried perhaps that Benton would cut her off with some condescending laugh. What she didn't know was that the Sergeant was a little too put off by the teenager's behavior that this was possibly the least funny thing to happen to him today.
"Is that why you're peeling the labels off? Because they might be something they're not?" Benton hazard a guess that this was what the teenager was trying to get to, that this whole thing about peeling the labels off the cans was supposed to be some creative protest act or something.
Lorraine disappointed him then by smirking herself and shaking her head.
"No, not really I only just thought of that. It's just the idea of removing easy information so people have to make a guess at something for once. Being difficult makes me smile after all," Lorraine looked to the stack of cans that represented her past hour of work, with the expression of someone who could only make a half guess at an art piece despite the fact that they made it.
Perhaps the full meaning behind her actions hadn't occurred to Lorraine yet.
"You're not smiling," Benton said his words slowly, unsure if his observation might end on a land mind. This was because Lorraine really didn't look close to smiling. If anything she really looked like she was close to crying. And not the thematic, single tear down a cheek kind but the red, ugly and screaming kind.
"I haven't peeled enough cans," Lorraine dropped the now freed can from her grasp and picked up another labeled one, getting ready to tear into again.
"And I think you've peeled enough. Is this about the Doctor being gone?" Benton took the can from her hands before the teenager could rip into it, placing it back on the stack of its fellow kind. He had kneeled somewhat down to her level. It wasn't a conscious choice, as instead Benton found that he was reverting to the usual tone he took when talking to his teen sister whenever she was upset.
"It's been two hours since he and Miss Grant dropped of the Earth Benton. At least give me twenty four hours before you think I'll start causing problems out of a mistaken juvenile ideal that he'll return because of it." Lorraine said, letting out a breath afterwards that was both to forceful to be a sigh and too weak to really be a laugh. In the end Benton chalked it up to some expression of exhaustion.
"Should I note that?"
"Funny, but no," Lorraine paused for a moment before continuing, "Yates told me something was happening this morning but since he was talking at an hour that was ungodly I wasn't listening,"
"You have another appointment this afternoon," Benton replied, biting back the small twitch of a smile at her attitude towards his superior. Lorraine groaned and rolled her head rather awkwardly, her eyes looking to the cobwebbed ceiling of the cupboard, her derision however not being without merit.
"Please tell me this isn't…" She trailed off, deciding that it didn't matter since she already knew what her answer was going to be. Benton didn't spare her the excuse of ignorance, partly because she hadn't spared him the job of opening the cans to see if they were coffee for the next few months.
"Afraid so," The solider tried to not let the expression of sympathy glide over his features, since he doubted that the teenager was in a good enough mood to be pitied because of something that she would no doubt rather remove her foot than go through with again.
"I swear it was only yesterday I had to talk to him. He didn't say anything then, why would now be any different?" Lorraine bit her lip as she spoke, knowing full well that it had been a good fortnight since she had seen the evil Time Lord last and that they had in fact traded words that she didn't want to think about.
"He's the one requesting you Miss. Afraid' that as per usual it's those Time Lord chaps that have all the answers," Benton said seconds before he realized that perhaps it might have been the wrong thing to say. Something switched on in Lorraine's eyes that had been missing for a while, and she seemed more alive than she had been for the whole conversation beforehand.
"Maybe, but they don't have all the power Benton, at least he doesn't now. I don't have to jump to the Master's commands anymore, so I'll decide when he gets to talk to me. Tell Yates whatever excuse you want if it gets you out of trouble, but I'm not going to that prison until I feel like it," Lorraine said, standing from her hunched position on the cupboard floor and handing the still labeled can of coffee into Benton's hands.
"Now miss the Brigadier-" Benton attempted to argue but Lorraine cut over him as she walked down the hallway, slower than the usual gait of course. She might have healed enough to walk on her own but it would still be a while until she could walker faster, much less run.
"-Should understand my disregard for the Master's demands better than anyone. So if the Brig needs me for anything else, I'll be up in my room waiting for my 'parole officer' to return from wherever the hell he's gone off to," Lorraine finished with a half-hearted hand raised and waved behind her as she turned the corner.
Benton stared down the now empty hallway for a few seconds before looking back to the mess that the teenager had left behind and deciding that that at least could be left to someone else. Taking the thankfully still labeled can in his hand, the soldier walked back to the coffee station and set about opening the can to prepare the drinks for his superiors.
The Sergeant could then barely contain his bitter almost-laugh when opening the can, to see sliced peaches inside.
It turned out that the floor of the cupboard wasn't littered with labels from just coffee cans.
Five hours and an extensive clean up of UNIT's canned supplies later, and the Science Adviser's lab was filled once again with a strange wheezing groaning sound.
The noise caught the attention of any new recruit in the area, who would them come in to snoop around and see the miraculous arrival of a blue police box that had most certainly not been there before. What they would also see then was the sullen retreat of one of the room's prior occupant, whom at catching sight of the box, went up the winding stairs nearby and gently closed the door behind her.
Then the recruits would be caught by Sergeant Benton and receive a reprimand for a lack of privacy and thirty laps around the complex.
Lorraine in the meantime, remained up in her room and listened intently to the Doctor and Miss Grant's conversations.
The usual events of every afternoon would then play out, whether the pair had been out on a rare trip to space, or off on a world saving mission for UNIT. Lorraine would lie on the floorboards in order to get better sound, often ignoring the sharp pains of her stomach disagreeing with this notion.
"Well that was exhilarating," The Doctor would say at the start, sometimes sarcastic other times genuine. Something would then be placed or dropped heavily onto the lab table, the sound always being loud enough for Lorraine to hear. Every so often the teenager wondered if that was intentional on his part, like he was trying to tell her that they were back now.
"It was interesting wasn't it?" Miss Grant would follow up, either in agreement or an attempt at a careful defense. She would then walk out of the lab to the nearby break room, in order to grab the usual cups of tea.
From there the ritual stopped and their conversation could go anywhere, talking about anyone and anywhen. Lorraine felt a pit in her gut during this time, drilled out by desperation and a quiet need to both stay in this room yet also be down with them for that talk. Yet still no matter how torn she might have been she stayed upstairs, pretending to the entire world that she no longer existed anywhere else.
Well, it was hard to pretend when that was the case wasn't it?
It was around this time then that the ritual would start up again, and Lorraine would hear soft footsteps on the staircase leading up to the small once store room that was now a shabbily converted bedroom (she wasn't complaining, there has definitely been worse), and there would be an even softer knock on her door.
"Lorraine? I made you a cup. I'll just leave it here and you can take it back to the break room when you're ready," Miss Grant's voice was careful and caring, breaking through the barrier of the door between them to cause the continuing growth of guilt and wanting in Lorraine's chest. Sometimes she wanted to open that door before Miss Grant walked back down the stairs, if only to show in some small way that she didn't hate her.
But she never did, the door remained shut every time.
Sometimes, if the day was the rare occurrence of time and space travel, much like on this day, Miss Grant would stop for a time to retell the events to Lorraine through that wooden barrier. Lorraine would always listen with the most intense attention she had ever given anything in her life, the events that would be transcribed from the blonde assistant to the silent teen always being story worth listening to.
Today was no exception either, as Lorraine was listening with rapturous interest as Miss Grant retold her adventure.
"… And then the Menenoptra invited us to a celebration afterwards, and it was just wonderful. Their wings looked like they were studded with jewels, and they danced in the air like ballerinas, and the sky that was usually so dark was filled with stars. The Doctor said this was a atmospheric drift and that the Menenoptra usually celebrated that with their dances and-"
"Jo?" The Doctor's voice made Lorraine nearly jump out of her skin, and the teenager was certain that Miss Grant did the same. A second later there was tentative footsteps descending the spiral staircase behind the door.
Lorraine knew it was ridiculous, but she felt this need to go downstairs and see what was happening, just to check that everything was fine. There was something about the way the Doctor spoke that got to her that made Lorraine feel that something was going to happen.
That feeling wasn't new, nor the fact that it was often connected with the raised voice of an adult.
Deciding that her mouth felt a little too dry and that the cup of tea that was usually left outside the door could help, Lorraine made an attempt to open the door. It was as the teenager was attempting to pry open the seal from the outside world without making a sound, that she heard the softer voices of the Doctor and Miss Grant downstairs.
Lorraine gently lifted the cup and saucer as her ears strained to listen, however she failed to catch much of anything. The warm liquid spread through her stomach and added some comfort in that pit of endless worry. Balancing the porcelain in her hands as carefully as she could, Lorraine stepped back into the room, allowing the door to shut silently behind her.
Everything was fine; she was just over reacting and jumpy because he had shouted. Lorraine repeated that mantra of reassurance to herself and ignored how ridiculous she felt because of it. Placing the saucer down in front of her, Lorraine leaned back against the bed frame and surveyed her new room.
It was an attic set up, the ceiling sloped on an angel and there was very little space. Lorraine had no reason to complain, she had been in smaller and less comfortable set ups in the past. If anything this room was one of her top preferences. Miss Grant had mentioned the rooms that were in the TARDIS, possibly on the Doctor's behalf more than anything, but Lorraine felt more comfortable in the attic room than taking a space in there.
It was both because and yet not because of the fact that it was an alien vessel. Lorraine had already spent the last three or so years in the Master's TARDIS and that room was one of the more extravagant rooms that she had ever slept in. But at the same time, there was that sense of consciousness in the Doctor's TARDIS that as already described didn't exist in the other Time Lord's machine.
The feeling of being surrounded by a being she didn't know. Watching her and possibly judging her, it made the tea sit wrong in her gut.
Plus there was the unwanted bonus of possibly running into the time machine's pilot during that time, something that the teenager had been actively avoiding for the last few days in the first place. That last point actively put the nail in the coffin of that idea.
Lorraine gently lowered the tea cup into its saucer, shifting a little so she could feel the aging floorboards underneath her. The routine was nearly over, it may have some different turns but everything else had so far remained the same. All that was left was for the teenager to remain silent in her room and wait for the next morning.
Some days they didn't go anywhere, where there were no monsters invading or Time Lords requesting the Doctor's unwilling assistance. Those days were the ones when Lorraine didn't go down those spiral stairs, instead preferring to leave the bubbly blond and charismatic dandy to enjoy themselves.
Sure Lorraine knew on those days she could break the routine. In fact she could just stay downstairs on every other day. Nothing was stopping her from just talking to them face to face when they came back from their adventures. But still she kept herself upstairs, out of their way and remaining as silent as the grave.
Lorraine sniffed once, placed the cup and saucer on the small bedside table and got up to move around a bit, her eye catching a certain vase.
The small vase sat tight in the corner of the inner window sill, an attempt by the teen to have the bunch so they were always within the sight of the sun every day. Her actions to keep the bunch alive had so far been successful, but still with every passing day Lorraine couldn't ignore the slight browning around the edges of the stems and how the leaves were starting to buckle around the edges. Even the thorns weren't as sharp as before, barely even cutting into her hand when she grazed her palm against them.
She wasn't sure how much time passed while she did her strange death watch of the flowers, but what she did know was that the next time she took a sip from the tea, it was cold. Downstairs had maintained an eerie silence that told Lorraine that the Time Lord had taken his own kind of solace in his Time Machine.
At least he had done, since now the teenager could hear voices that were a little tenser than usual. The Doctor's rich inflection was recognizable even through the floorboards, as was the crisp authoritative stance of the Brigadier's voice.
Lorraine could feel the angsty sigh already building up in her. No doubt the military leader was here to either A) Tell her off for her little trick on Benton and messing up the pantry for the next six months or B) Order her to go off on that little trip. Neither of which she was willing to go into without the thought of snapping back with some witty and trouble stirring reply.
Still, it wasn't fair to leave it all on the Doctor's hands anyway, after all he was nice enough to give her this room upstairs with a handy door lock that seemed unbreakable by UNIT standards…
Gulping down the rest of the tea as though it were a shot, Lorraine picked up the cup and saucer that now served as her fake reason for going downstairs; the teenager readied herself for a verbal confrontation and opened the attic door.
The voices didn't stop their strenuous debate, but they did have an added affect of knowing that she was now in the room. Lorraine decided to spend as much time as she could descending the spiral stairs, in case she managed to lose her nerve in between the seventh and eighth step and suddenly needed to keep looking at the dying flowers again. The cup and saucer would have shaken slightly in her hand if not for the steady as iron grip that she managed to get whenever she was in a panic.
Eventually she reached the bottom of the stairs without chancing a retreat, and stood there a moment at the bottom of the stairs, just watching the pair fighting rather dully at the Doctor's work bench. Neither of them really acknowledging her yet as their competition to prove the other right was clearly too important.
Which Lorraine would have been fine with, if the conversation wasn't about her.
"I have my orders Doctor, Miss Sanford has to see the Master on a regular basis of time,"
"What great orders they are, forcing the victim with their abuser,"
"I don't like the situation any more than you do Doctor but there is nothing to be done. The Master refuses to speak to anyone apart from Miss Sanford, and as you made quite clear in the hearing after his trial, other means were considered-
"Inhumane? What and this is somehow better? Just because he isn't the one that ends up hurt," Lorraine butted in, including herself at last into the conversation that was about her.
"Miss Sanford-"
"Don't bother, I'm not setting up some great anti-Brigadier movement and I will go and see the bastard again. I just didn't do it today, okay? Is it too much to ask for a break?" There was an awkward pause after her last few words, which came out a little more desperate than she had originally intended. The Doctor looked a little shamefaced and found the strange device in his hands suddenly very interesting. The Brigadier in the meantime took a more professional stance and replied with something of a meeting half way deal.
"Two weeks until your next visit then, and you're going to sort out the fiasco you made with the pantry in the mean time," The Brigadier relented whilst also maintaining his authority, something that Lorraine didn't mind for the moment since it was giving her a vacation from time with the Master.
"Yes sir," Lorraine replied genuinely, something that put off both men for a moment.
"Right, well I must be going then," The military leader composed his near constant professionalism, his words a bid goodnight in subtext more than anything else. The Doctor nodded and went back to fiddling with the strange device that no doubt had his attention before the Brigadier intruded.
"Goodnight Brigadier," Lorraine called after him, because no situation was one where she wouldn't take the chance to be a little prat. He made no reply and instead turned the corner out of the lab and on his way back to his office for no doubt the next twelve hours of his paperwork.
Lorraine tapped her finger against the edge of the tea cup, feeling it rock back in the saucer. The situation was now incredibly awkward as the teenager remembered that she did not really want to be downstairs in the first place. Now it would be too awkward for her to just turn around and walk back upstairs without saying a word, but talking would be off putting as well since the conversation would no doubt start with-
"So, any reason you have been avoiding Jo and I for the past few days?"
Fantastic, he had left her with an absolute verbal blockage. There was no connection of words that she could come up with that could better explain her reasons for avoiding him. Obviously he had to know how stuck she was now conversation-wise.
"Stuck for words? Hard to think of something good enough to say isn't it?" The Doctor placed his device down on the table and looked the teen in the eye, making it clear that he intentionally placed her in the snag of proper dialogue. She stared back at him with nothing to say, not that she could think of anything good enough anyway.
"I know this is a difficult situation for both of us to be in, but we are stuck together nonetheless. We could at least muster the courage to talk to each other on a daily basis. Even if it is about the weather," The Doctor said as he continued to work on the device, sparing a side glance at her as he spoke.
Lorraine hadn't really thought about how awkward this set up must have been for him as well. It would make sense that he was just as bad at talking to her as vice versa. The teenager picked at the skin on her fingernails for a few moments, letting the conversation drop into silence. It was only when she remembered that that was exactly what the Doctor just said he didn't want, she tried to think of something to say.
Eventually she landed on deciding to just clear some of the air. After all, he obviously would still want to know why she had been avoiding him. But there was no need to tell everything… just a fraction she decided. A fraction of the truth (and the least revealing truth) would perhaps be best.
"You won't like me," her direct point broke that silence excellently, but she somewhat regretted it only naught point five seconds later when the Time Lord turned and looked her square in the eye. Lorraine already felt like she had perhaps revealed too much of that fraction of truth, that perhaps she should have just stayed silent.
"I do believe that is up to me to decide," The Time Lord rebuffed it as easily as exhaling, and Lorraine for a moment was thrown for a bit of a loop. She felt somehow that perhaps he didn't understand the exact kind of person he was now stuck with, and so decided to reveal a little bit more. If it would make him understand then there was no harm.
"And I've seen more than five adoptive homes, three orphanages and quite a few 'friends' make their own decisions about me. When people deny you that many times the recurring problem starts to make itself real clear." Lorraine let go of the tea cup as she spoke, listening to it loudly rearrange in the saucer before tipping completely to one side.
She looked to a different corner of the room so she didn't have to see the Time Lord's expression. When she looked back he had placed the device he was so intrigued with off to one side, the teen now taking up all of his attention.
"What exactly do you think they found so unlikable about you?"
She wasn't expecting that, and the surprise only seemed to fuel her reply, which was a little more emotional than she was originally intending.
"Well apart from being an overly prideful heartless b-" The Doctor coughed over her last word with a disapproving look and she continued, "I'm also a little inappropriate,"
"While you do have a taste for the more expletive, I doubt you are heartless,"
She couldn't really help the rather unattractive snort from the back of her throat before replying.
"How do you figure that?"
"I didn't forget you risking your life in Devils End. Sacrificing your life is not something a heartless person usually does,"
Lorraine hadn't forgotten about Devils End either, but that only opened the door to a different view on the debate.
"And I didn't do that because I'm a good person. I did to make myself feel better. That is at least selfish," Lorraine's counter made her chest ache inside as she remembered her meeting a few days ago with a certain other Time Lord.
Lorraine then waited for this Time Lord to agree with that point, perhaps admit that they might not get along as well as he had hoped. She waited for her own hopes to be let down. Not that they were very high in the first place.
"And you don't think that doing good isn't in some way often tied in with the feeling of satisfaction with oneself?" He surprised her with his reply, and Lorraine stumbled over her reply for a moment, even if it was only three words.
"No I don't,"
"Do you think I am a good person?"
"Yes," Lorraine answered without needing to really think about it, and she could tell that the Doctor looked a little happy with himself before he continued with his point.
"Well not completely according to your logic. There is always a sense of selfishness in people that do good, whether it be because of guilt or pride that makes you do it. But I believe the main thing you're supposed to focus on is that you helped someone else,"
They both let the conversation drop off for a while, as Lorraine thought over what the Time Lord said. Her chest felt much lighter after their little debate, but that didn't mean the teenager wasn't above making the other shoe fall herself just to see what would happen.
"And what about my pride?"
"A positive and negative emotional trait. You are only human after all," The Doctor picked up the thing he was working on again, twisting what seemed like a screwdriver that had more ends to it than usual, into one of the holes.
"I suppose Time Lords aren't that prideful then?" Lorraine countered playfully, and the Doctor raised his eyebrows before replying.
"Oh no quite the opposite. We just usually don't have the more positive effects," The Doctor smirked and Lorraine bit the side of her lip as she smiled.
Remembering the backup reason that she had come downstairs in the first place that still needed to be dealt with, Lorraine picked up the forgotten tea cup and saucer, and looked around the room for where she was suppose to place it.
"The tea trolley is just outside the lab door, if you were wondering. A tea lady comes by later to take them away," The Doctor's voice was more muttered than before and Lorraine could tell he was more focused on the work before him now. She nodded and made no verbal reply as she placed the dirty tea cup and saucer on the before mentioned tea tray before walking back to the spiral stairs.
She stopped for a moment and looked back to the Time Lord.
"You were relieved that I agreed with you before about being a good person, weren't you?"
"No comment," he muttered, smiling.
For the first time in days Lorraine went upstairs without the intention being one of retreat.
The next day was different from the other past mornings, as Lorraine was woken up by the Doctor knocking on her door. Tripping a little on the blankets, the teen stumbled to the door and opened just as the Time Lord was in the middle of knocking again.
"Ah good morning,"
"Is it?" she mumbled back, rubbing the sleep sand out of her eyes and attempting to have her hair look presentable.
"I'll give you a moment to get ready then?"
"How about two… Wait what are we doing?"
"Jo doesn't come in for another five hours and I need an extra pair of hands."
"Right… ok. I'll be there in a minute,"
The Doctor closed the door and went back down stairs to whatever it was he needed help with. Lorraine was part way through putting on her UNIT issued deep blue baggy pants and white wife beater before she really had the consciousness to think over what the Doctor had said.
The next few moments was spent with her quickly ramming an old brush through her hair and tying it back as neatly as she could, before getting herself downstairs.
Please review, constructive criticism always welcome.