*Disclaimer: I don't own Elementary*

Joan bust through the exit just as a movie like explosion engulfed the building. She turned to face the destruction, hand over her mouth and silent tears sliding down her cheeks, as she slowly sunk to her knees. Vaguely, she was aware of someone screaming her name and running towards her, a blur of red and blue lights surrounded the area, but all she could do was stare at the building, her eyes constantly flitting around, searching, pray, a figure would appear and make all her nightmare suppress.

"Ms. Watson!" The captain shouted, kneeling in front of her and grabbing each of her shoulders, Bell quietly stand beside them. Joan struggled to continue scanning the scene in front of her despite blockade caused by Gregson. "Damn it, Joan! Look at me! What happened? Are you hurt?" As Gregson attempted to lift her to her feet, Joan was finally snapped out of her trance and began to fight.

"Let go of me!" She screamed, causing the captain to immediately release his grip in surprise. "He said he was coming! I have to wait for him! He needs me!" Suddenly catching on, Bell gently touched her arm.

"Joan?" He said softly, trying to catch her attention without startling her. "Joan? Where is Holmes?" At this, more tears slide from her eyes and she once again sunk to her knees, timidly pointing to the building that was still burning in front of them. Both the detectives turned to face the building, finally understand and silent from shock.

"He… he said he found another way out…" She whispered between sobs. "I… I knew it wasn't true but… he demanded that I leave…" And then, as if the world finally realized what happen been lost, it began to mourning the loss of the great Sherlock Holmes and rain began to fall on the broken hearted woman and her companions. Bell walked away, as Gregson bent to pick Joan up.

"Come on, Joanie, you can't just sit here and get soaked."

"Leave me alone!" She cried. At that moment, Bell returned, threw a thick blanket over Joan's shoulders and grabbed the captain by the arm and dragged him away.

"What the hell are you doing?" Gregson growled, once they had reached the forensics van and Bell shoved him inside. "She will make herself sick!"

"Leave her alone!" Bell shouted, stunning the captain into silence. "Let her mourn. She just lost the love of her life. You have to let her mourn her own way."

"What can we do?" Gregson asked, gazing at the distraught woman kneeling in the rain.

"We can wait," Bell answered, "And we make ourselves available to her when she decides that she needs us."

XXXXX

A shiver ran down her spine, forcing Joan to pull the blanket tighter around her as she continued to kneel in the mud staring at the building completely engulfed in fire and rain. How could I leave him in there? I knew he was lying about finding another way out, but I left anyway. I killed him, I left him to die… I killed him. Her body was racked with another round of uncontrollable sobbing. If I had just told him what I had learned from Irene… if I had just been strong enough to fight if Marcus from the beginning… none of this would have happened! This is my fault, all my fault… I killed him. Her sopping hair fell in her face and stuck to her skin, but she wouldn't cover her head with the blanket. Secretly, deep down she hoped she would getting sick, maybe catch pneumonia and die for what she had done. I never deserved his love. I am worse than Irene, she tried to prevent him from killing himself with drugs… I lead him straight to his death, practically handed him over on a silver platter. Joan was distracted with her thoughts, she did not notice the movement from the side of the building

"Don't leave me in all this pain, don't leave me out in the rain…" Joan sang to herself softly, "Come back and bring back that smile, come and take these tears away…" Each line was a silent pray. Maybe everyone was wrong maybe he was okay. "Un-break my heart! Say you love me again!" And she broke down in sobs once again. Stubborn man! Why did he have to leave me? Joan sensed someone come to stand behind her.

"Go away, Gregson!" She growled, she wanted to be alone. She would be alone forever now. He wasn't listening, so she decided just to ignore him. He squatted behind her and put a hand on her shoulder. She attempted to shrug him off but the hand only gripped her tighter. "I don't want your pity," she spat, squeezing her eyes shut hoping to shut the world out.

"Turn around bright eyes," A familiar voiced whispered in her ear, making her heart stop for a moment, and her eyes shot open.

"Sherlock?" She breathed, barely loud enough for herself to hear, as she slowly turned to look over her shoulder.