A/N: I love reading angst, but I'm not so very good at writing it, so I hope you like it! Written for The Crownless Queen and Angelo Della Magnolia! (Happy belated birthday, Mags!)

N: I recommend listening to My Immortal by Evanescence as it was used for inspiration to write this.

Monthly One-Shot Exchange March: Prompt: Wolfstar, Angst, soulmate

Birthday Fic Exchange: Wolfstar, and My Immortal by Evanescence.

The Game is On: The Notable Bachelor - Write about any male who is not married (for purposes of being interesting, he can be dating)

W.C: 1,064

Disclaimer: Nope. Never Have, Never Will.

So Very Sorry

"How does it feel, Remus, to be free?" Lily prompted, tracing her own tattoo bond. She glanced up, took one look at his face, and grimaced, apologizing for her insensitivity. Her green eyes stared intently at her partner's name. "It's just that I often wonder how one feels. I've had this tattoo my entire life, and I couldn't possibly imagine being without." She bit her lip, turning her attention back to her wrist. "How does it feel?"

Like a million shards are stabbing my heart.

"Just strangely empty," he replied, shrugging, unconsciously touching his own ink-free wrist. He closed his eyes, breathing slowly. There was nothing tying him down anymore to this one place. What he wanted most came true.

"Oh, is that all?" Lily asked, not unkindly.

I feel like I'm missing a piece of my heart, my soul.

"Yeah," he murmured, letting his wrist go. He breathed in deeply. In and out. "That's all."

Lily sighed, finally letting her own hand drop aimlessly at her side. She smiled, a bit forced, and patting Remus' shoulder in what was supposed to be a comforting manner. It left him feeling more awkward than he was. "You weren't that close to Black, were you? Maybe that's why."

Remus laughed, his throat closing on him as he watched a crowd of people in black clothing with tear stained faces pass by. "Yeah, I think it affects you more when you're close to your soulmate."

He was my other half, a part of me.

"Are you really leaving? Today?" Lily's smile faded into a concerned expression. "Are you sure you can't stay a bit?"

Remus shook his head, pushing a few brown strands behind his ear with his hand. "Sadly, I can't. There's so much to explore in the world. I can move on, Lily. I never wanted to be here to begin with. You know that if it wasn't for you I wouldn't be here still."

I would've stayed for him in a heartbeat.

"No, I understand. It's just hard for me to see you go." Lily grinned, her green eyes tearing up, and she embraced him a bear hug. She laughed, wiping the tears away, creating a wall of red hair between the two old friends as she looked at the ground. "I'm going to miss you, and I'm just sad that you're leaving today."

But I can't stand to be here anymore with him buried six feet under.

"I know, Lils, but you'll be fine. James is here for you," Remus whispered reassuringly, his amber eyes beginning to fill with tears of his own as he cupped her face upwards. "Don't worry."

He's gone forever and I'm so alone.

"Ah, call me, okay?" Her eyes were full of tenderness and love; Remus couldn't stand looking at them.

His eyes were always so full of emotion.

"Of course, I will."

My heart is buried here with him.

"God, it was about time he died," Walburga Black commented loudly, ushering her younger son and husband out of the funeral home. She rubbed her shoulder and smiled at Remus when the trio reached them. "Ah, Lupin."

"Mrs. Black," Remus responded curtly, bowing his head slightly, his eyes never leaving her dead grey ones.

Lily nodded respectfully, waving goodbye as she walked back inside the building.

"I really must thank you, Lupin, for this pleasurable day." She smirked, nodding towards the funeral home. "That boy should've died ages ago, I say."

Remus tried his best to keep his emotions in check. "I'm sure you don't mean that."

Walburga cackled, her laugh high pitched and hoarse. "He seemed so determined to leave and defy us, and, you know, live his own life. How amusing that he's the one in the ground, isn't it?"

Remus forced a laugh out. His hands curled into fists.

Control yourself. Inhale, exhale.

Orion Black nodded and remained silent. Regulus, who looked so very much like Sirius, shifted nervously by their side.

"That pathetic boy killed himself, didn't he?" She asked, offhandedly, her lips curling in disgust. Walburga clucked her tongue. "He was always so useless. Good riddance, I say."

"Sorry, Mrs. Black, but nobody gives a damn about what you say," Remus bit harshly.

His response brought a smile to her face. She laughed, looking him up and down. "Quite the hypocrite, aren't you, Mr. Lupin? If my information is correct, aren't you the one who drove my son to desperation?" She took a step forward, her eyes lively and clearly happy. "Aren't you the one who avoided him? Aren't you the one who rejected him? Poor, pathetic Sirius."

"You're wrong," he whispered, shutting his eyes.

She's right. You know she's right! We rejected him!

"Don't feel bad now, Lupin. Not if you caused it." She took a step back and scoffed. "I wanted him to die honorably, at least." She sighed, clucking her tongue once more. "All the time he spent dreaming and wishing on his soulmate was worthless," she whispered before turning around, leaving her family to follow in suit.

NO!

Remus closed his eyes, praying for forgiveness. It was true. Sirius Black, full of life and hope, approached him absolutely enthralled with the idea of his soulmate and their bond. But Remus didn't want it any of it, he wanted to be free of the cursed tattoo binding him to the other man. Now it was gone and his naked wrist looked so wrong to his eyes. Gone was the name of Sirius Black on his wrist. Gone was his heart.

"I'm sorry."

It did no good. Sorry couldn't bring back the dead.

I'msorrysorrysorrysorrysorry.

Sirius Black with his grey expressive eyes and black shining hair and a smile that lit up an entire room had been driven to suicide by none other than his beloved soulmate, Remus Lupin, the person who was supposed to accept wholeheartedly.

Remus opened his eyes and headed towards vehicle. He knew where his first stop would be before he started his bucket list. He glanced at his naked wrist and smiled sadly. It looked like someone else's wrist. Not his own and that needed to be fixed.

I'm so sorry, Sirius. I was a coward and I was so afraid. You needed me and I let you down.

I'm sorry. So very sorry.

But saying sorry doesn't change a thing. Not when it's already too late.