Chapter 25
Location: Emily's
Four Days later
I know something is not right with her, she has gone more vacant over the past few days, and her nightmares seem to be worse so much that I had to get Sarah to come home, after Emily screamed for her and then would not settle. She has backed away from everyone, not so much me but I know she is not sleeping. I wake at night I either hear her in the bathroom being sick or she is in the kitchen, I think the team is noticing too, the dark rings seem to have taken up permanent-residents around her eyes.
I am so worried about her but how can I push her? I feel like an intruder some days, Sarah is like she always is, but we all learnt from the third time we met her that she wouldn't allow anyone to touch her anyone really near her unless it was Emily. You can still see the protectiveness now, watching Emily with Sarah is like watching a lioness with her cub, but is a law unto herself.
In addition, right now Emily seems to need the closeness from her. Part of me wonders if I should leave, but then Emily will cling to me as though I am grounding her, why is she shutting down and shutting me out. I heard Sarah mention that Elizabeth was back in town and it seemed to give Emily some comfort though nothing was said, just a look.
I remember the first day we met Sarah I do not think Emily was impressed because as Garcia will say Emily hid for a full week after. I felt so sorry for Emily she had only been with the team around a month when this 13-year-old kid stormed into the bullpen heading straight for Emily. Apparently, Sarah has inherited her mother's brains, and I think at the time Emily wished she had not been as vocal as she was storming in screaming holy hell that she stood someone up. How Emily kept her composer even when she raised her voice slightly.
You see you have this moment I think everyone has it where a child says something and you want the whole room to swallow you whole, or you think they are staring at you because your fly is open, your skirt is caught in your underwear. To me those things were not really that bad and you could laugh them off.
However, when a 13yr comes in shouting about she had set the whole date up for her, and how it was rude, but to class Emily as a man because she stood her date up. I think her exact words were 'mom I set you up with a hot blonde you saw a picture you liked! And you stood the hot blonde up only a blind man would do that are you sure your GAY!' I think that word flew around the office so many times it was like a massive echo even Hotch and Gideon stepped onto the catwalk as they watch Emily frog march her out the double doors and we just guessed it was either German or French she was shouting in.
How Emily did not seriously hurt Sarah that day is a miracle I would not have been shocked if she had a handprint on her arm, Emily seemed to grip her with that much force, and Sarah was struggling in her grasp that bad. It was in that second that I knew she would protect our family.
Garcia put it on a loop then on to disc, poor Emily had to suffer for three months after Morgan got his hands on it, well until Hotch put his foot down anyway. It wasn't that we were teasing her because she is gay it was because her 13yr had set her up on not one dating site but 20 and also set her up with that many dates Emily changed her number 10 times and wouldn't allow Sarah to have it till six months later.
Sarah use to turn up in our bullpen or in my office doorway if she was not at school. If Sarah was around and anyone would go to speak to them, Emily would place herself in front of Sarah, it hurt the guys and it hurt Garcia, but she has never has done it with me, which I have always found odd, but it has been like that since we first met her.
However, Sarah seemed scared of the boys, it did amaze me that anyone could be scared of Spence though I mean, he is as harmless as a puppy or kitten depending how you look at it
When you watch Emily out in the field she is so much like Morgan they are both protective not just of each other but of anyone else whom might get in harm's way, and Emily seems to always pay the price, I am surprised her brain hasn't been knocked out.
I remember the first time we learnt why Emily always placed herself in front of Sarah, I think learnt might be the wrong term to use though. Emily had been with the team awhile it was just before Gideon left. Sarah was waiting at Emily's desk on a Friday night we had just gotten back from a case. Everyone was exhausted, Emily I think it was safe to say mentally exhausted. And then it happened Morgan reached the bullpen before Emily, before any of us. He gently rested his hand on her shoulder.
God it was like watching a wild animal the fear in her eyes she flinched that violently the computer screen smashed off Emily's desk as Sarah tried to move away. I felt so sorry for Morgan and all Emily could do was give an apologetic look as she began to calm Sarah down. It was as if we were on a case and Emily was talking to a victim, a child and a terrified one at that.
I gestured for Emily to try to get her into my office away from everyone's eyes; Morgan looked devastated that he had scared her. In addition, there it was the same grip she had used on Sarah the day she had stormed into the office, but I noticed as I watched her gripe on Sarah was not as tight as I thought it was, it took Emily over an hour to get her to calm down. In addition, there it became the silent rule not to touch or go to close to Sarah. None of use questioned it and we still have not to this day.
I couldn't help smile that day though, as we all sat in the office as I watched Emily calm Sarah down, Emily had made her silent request to me and I didn't need it to be verbalised as I sat behind my desk, I watched on in amazement as Emily spoke. I had never heard her speak Portuguese before and it seemed to calm her.
But now it is Emily who is flinching and even when Sarah touches her, she has withdrawn so much in such a short amount of time, but she has kept to her word so far, she has not pushed me away or blocked me out on purpose. I know she is so lost and scared right now. I just wish she would let me help her, but I cannot help if she does not tell me what the problem is though I do think I may have a very good idea already.