This chapter is brought to you by Halestorm's "Familiar Taste of Poison". Thank you for reading and if you enjoy it, please leave a review. It's like food for writers.

That kiss was the best one I'd ever had. It felt like it went on forever, and I never wanted it to stop. All the crap that romantic comedies and fucking Nicholas Sparks books say...dammit it's true. My world dropped from beneath me. Birds sang, seas parted, flower petals randomly fell from the sky. In that moment, I felt true bliss.

But eventually that moment ended. That one kiss became two. Two became three. Three became him carrying me to my bed, taking off his shirt, and unbuttoning mine. By the time his face was buried between my breasts, I realized it didn't feel right. I threaded my fingers into his hair and pulled his mouth away from trying to unhook my frontsie bra.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"I don't feel right about this."

"What do you mean? Please don't tell me you're having second thoughts about us..."

The worried look on his face nearly broke my heart.

"No Jon, not about us. Just...I don't know if having sex right now is the best decision."

He sighed and dropped his head back onto my chest. "Okay."

"Thanks...I just...I just don't feel right. I can't really explain it. I'm sorry."

He moved over to my side and kissed my cheek. "Okay babe. I'll wait, even though it's gonna suck. Just let me know when you want me to do dirty unspeakable things to you."

He winked and clicked his tongue. I didn't think I'd be capable of being embarrassed and nervous around him, given everything we'd been through, but I felt my face turn bright red as he looked at me.

"Are you seriously blushing?" That made me blush even more.

"No..." I lied, turning my face away from him.

"You are so fucking cute." He turned my head back towards his and kissed me.

He suddenly stopped and pulled away, his hands facing palms out. "I'm allowed to still kiss you, right?"

"Yes, you dick," I laughed, grabbing his shoulders and pulling him back to me.

After several minutes of making out, we ended up lying on our backs, with my head nestled between his arms and his side. I took his hand and held it against my chest.

"I feel so happy right now, but I feel like I shouldn't," I mused.

"Why is that?"

"I feel like if I were on the outside looking in at this mess we created, I'd be judging the hell out of me."

"Well fuck that judgmental bitch." I kicked my heel into his shin. "Hey! What I meant is, if you feel happy, then enjoy it, no matter what your mirror you thinks. I'm glad this did all work out, too. I'd prepared for the worst, but it would've really sucked to go back to work defeated."

"Yeah, what's up with that? With work, I mean. How were you able to do this whole stunt in the first place?"

"I basically agreed to being the company's bitch for a month, like do every early morning tv and radio show on Earth, in order to get them to write in a small injury bit to my current feud. I'm assuming you didn't watch last Friday?"

"If I had been working while it was on in the bar, I probably would've thrown many a glass at the TV wishing it were your face."

"Figured as much. Yeah, I got hurt on Smackdown so I could get a week off and then I'm going to come back during the pay per view on Sunday and interrupt the replacement match."

"Why do they still call them pay per views even though most people just watch them on that network thing?"

"No fucking clue."

"Hmm. But wow, you were really seriously about this if you went through all that."

"Once Roman verbally beat the shit out of me and I realized he was right, damn right I was serious. Even if I wasn't able to fix what I'd done, I needed to let you know how I felt, if only to have some sort of closure. I love you and I was willing to do what I had to do to tell you that."

"Aww..." I kissed the back of his hand. "So does this mean I have you until Sunday morning?"

"More like Saturday night. They like the surprise people to get there asininely early to try to keep it a secret. It never works, though."

"So what do you want to do till then?"

"You already know the answer to that," he chuckled.

"Okay rephrase...what do you want to do that isn't me," I said, rolling my eyes.

"Well my body is kinda fucked up after sitting against a wall for the majority of four days, so it'd be nice to go out and do something active. I'm still going to go out for a run in the morning like I usually do, but like, let's drive out of the city and climb a mountain or something."

"Okay, that sounds great. We can go after breakfast."

I turned onto my side and pushed myself up to lean in for a kiss. We settled down to go to sleep, his warm skin pressed against my back. His breath against my neck tickled and sent a pleasurable chill down my spine. This was going to be a rough few days.

"Man, This is a lot tougher than I remember!"

"What are you talking about? This is easy!"

"Yeah, maybe for you, but you're in fucking phenomenal shape and I'm not. Also, if it's so easy for you, why are you grunting so much back there?"

"Cause I get to look at your ass."

I laughed. "Oh, so you like it again? You said some hurtful things about it not being that nice when your were shitfaced and being a world-class prick."

"Aw man, seriously? Roman and Seth didn't tell me about that one. I am a prick."

I looked up ahead at the path and saw our destination. "The clearing isn't too much farther, and once we get there, you can grab my butt and apologize for being mean to it."

We finally reached the clearing and I put down the backpack I'd been carrying. I opened it up and pulled out two water bottles.

"Hey, toss one here," he said, holding up his hands to catch.

I tossed over a bottle like he asked and began to take out the rest of our picnic lunch. My hands were full when I heard him call out, "hey, hold this for me," and immediately got hit in the face with his sweaty t-shirt. I pulled it off and was about to scold him when I saw him take a swig of the water bottle and then proceed to pour the rest all over himself. I let out an audible whine that I quickly tried to hide by grabbing my water and chugging it.

"Are you okay there, Lana?" he asked. He slowly walked toward me, beads of water trailing down his arms and stomach.

"Yeah, yeah, just…thirsty. It's pretty hot out today."

I quickly went back to setting up lunch on the large slab of granite I was using as a seating area. I felt way too turned on for my comfort. I wanted to wait to have sex with him again, but fuck, he was making it very difficult. Right now I wanted him to take me on this rock with our bare skin exposed to the mountain breeze. I took a couple deep breaths and calmed down.

I scooted back on the rock so that he could sit down while we ate, but I made sure to keep the food in between us so he wouldn't get too close and I wouldn't be further tempted.

I took a look around the familiar clearing. It was near the edge of a steep dip in the valley and you could see far out into the mountain range. The hike up the mountain path had brought back a flood of childhood memories.

"My parents brought us here all the time when we'd travel to the area during summer vacations. As a kid I was always too afraid to go up to the fenced area near the drop off and look down at the river."

"Huh. You've never really talked about your parents before. And who's 'us'?"

"Us is me and my older brother. I haven't seen him in years. He got married while I was in college and he moved overseas with his wife. And my parents...we're just not really that close. Not for any crazy dramatic reason...just they live on the other side of the country and we don't have a lot in common. I mean what would I talk to them about on the phone? My life isn't generally that exciting, and it's not like I'm going to tell them all about the threesomes I had recently."

"I can kinda relate to that. My friends are my family now." He crawled around to the other side of the food. Once he sat down next to me, he reached his arm around my shoulder. "This is a great view. Thanks for bringing me up here, babe."

"'Babe', huh? That's new. I like it better than being called bitch all the time."

"I think it's good. I'll give you time to think of a replacement for calling me asshole."

"Nah that's not changing. You're still an asshole."

I laughed as he pretended to bite my head in retaliation. In the distance, birds sang a song that sounded as happy as I felt.

Later that night we watched a movie while he sat up in my bed and I nestled between his legs. My head rested comfortably on his chest. He stroked my head his with hand and I felt so relaxed. It was almost hypnotic.

Everything was going fine until a sex scene came onto the screen. My eyes widened slightly in surprise. I didn't know this movie had one, and it was getting pretty damn steamy. It normally wouldn't be an issue, but it was not helping me avoid having sex with Jon right now. My mind suddenly became hyper aware of him. The firmness of his thighs pressed against me. The size of his hand on my head. The slow, steady rhythm of his breath. The growing erection pressing into my back.

"Okay!" I blurted out, scrambling off the bed. "Well, I think I'd better go shower now cause I'm pretty smelly from that hike earlier!"

"I'm kind of smelly, too. Mind if I join you?"

"NO! Ahh, I mean no, I'm a hot water hog. I want to keep it all to myself, you know how it is...haha.." I awkwardly backed up out of the bedroom and ran into the bathroom.

I leaned against the closed door behind me, catching my breath that had apparently gotten away from me. I pressed the heels of my hands into my eyes and sighed. I turned toward the bathroom mirror and hunched over the sink. Staring into the mirror, I shook my head at myself. What the hell is wrong with you? Can you not keep you goddamn libido in check? Are you so weak that you can't control your vagina around him? You're pathetic.

Sighing, I stepped into the shower and let the hot water punish me. Honestly, it should have been cold water, but I wanted to feel the heat somewhere other than between my legs. The burn trickling down my back felt good, and focusing on it helped me stop thinking about sex for a moment.

I washed up and rinsed off, but decided to take advantage of my being alone for a moment before I got out.

"Maybe this will help," I said under my breath as I pulled down the detachable shower head and turned it to the massage setting.

I sat down on the edge of the tub, fearing that I could slip and fall if I orgasmed while standing in the shower. I parted my legs and directed the stream of water in between. The pulsing water hitting my clit was intense and took me by surprise. I clenched my jaw to keep from making any noise. It didn't take long for me to go over there edge, and thankfully for me, it was a pretty big one.

After I dried myself off, I threw on my silky robe and took a deep breath before opening the door. I was afraid to go back into the room after my little episode. I paused at my bedroom door and peered inside. The TV had been shut off and the room was now only faintly lit by the street lamps outside. Jon was lying down and jerking himself off.

I stepped away and turned to put my back against the wall. I hoped he didn't see me in the shadowed doorway. I could hear the sound of his hand sliding rhythmically up and down his cock, and every once in a while, a small moan would rumble from his throat. I shut my eyes and felt that tightness in my chest again. I so badly wanted to be with him, to smell him, to feel the weight of his body over me. Yet this gnawing feeling stopped me. I simply stood outside the door listening to him whisper my name as he came, before eventually rolling over and going to sleep.

I waited for a few minutes before I finally went back to bed. I quietly snuck under the covers and snuggled up behind him.

"Hey..." he sleepily groaned. "Enjoy your shower?"

"Yes, Thank you."

"Mmm...good night."

I wrapped my arm around his waist and stuck my feet in between his calves.

"Hey Lana?" he asked.

"Hmm?"

"I love you."

A spear straight to my heart. My chest felt even tighter. What the hell am I doing?

"I love you, too, Jon."

It happened a few more times the next day. The whole me freaking out and pushing him away when anything remotely sexual or arousing happened thing, I mean. When he got back from his run in the morning, he greeted me by grabbing my hips and pulling me towards him for a kiss. The smell of his sweat and the heat from his skin made me nervous, so I broke away from the kiss earlier than he expected. He looked disappointed.

When I was making us lunch, he came up from behind me and slid his arms around my waist. He leaned in and brushed his lips along my ear before softly kissing my neck. I almost let a whimper escape my mouth. Instead, I glanced to the side and said, "You probably shouldn't distract me while I have a knife in my hand. You know, safety and whatnot."

"Right..safety," he muttered before walking away.

When I was about to head down to work for the night, I went to say goodbye to him as he was lounging on the couch.

"Feel free to take the car if you need to go out or just want to go somewhere. I feel bad leaving you alone."

"Mmhmm."

I bent over to kiss him and only got his cheek. "Okay, well...see you later then."

I tried to put all my energy into work to keep me distracted. Thankfully since it was Friday night, it was a packed house. I barely even had time to say hi to Dave. That was probably a good thing though, since I was 99% sure he'd end up asking me about what happened with Jon.

When it started to die down near the end of the night, I tasked myself with mindlessly wiping the bar and taking great interest in how shiny I could make it. It worked so well that I didn't notice someone sit on the stool in front of me.

"Hey sunshine."

I looked up to be greeted by the weathered face of Larry. I hadn't seen him around in a while.

"Hey! How the hell have you been? I've missed you."

"Good, good. I thought I'd stop by on my way home from my lady friend's house, to catch up. Did you ever tell that boy of yours how you felt?"

"Yeah, about that..."

I filled him in on how I'd had my heart broken. On how I backslided with Jon when given the opportunity. On how I broke my toaster. On how he showed up outside my apartment to apologize.

"Well I hope you crushed his sad excuse for Macadamias and gave him the old big boot out the door!"

"Erm..."

Larry's exuberance drew Dave's attention to out conversation.

"Hey yeah. So what happened? Is Jon still up there? Did you ever let him speak?"

"Yes and yes. I let him in two days ago after my landlady forced me to, and I listened to his apology monologue. Then he told me he loved me."

"...aaaaand?" both Dave and Larry spoke in unison.

I sighed and looked at my feet. "I gave in. I still love him. So yeah, we're back together, I guess."

"You guess? That doesn't sound promising. Did he have to leave after?" Larry asked.

"No. He's upstairs. He's here till tomorrow night. It's just...like...I'm happy about it...but I feel guilty about it. I've been pushing him away when anything remotely sexual happens."

"What? Why?" asked Dave.

"I'm afraid to have sex with him."

"You're insane. Sex is ingrained in your relationship. It's like the cornerstone. Jesus, Lana, it's so a part of the two of you that you guys had sex in a restroom at the same time you were at each others throats!"

"See that's why! I don't want our relationship to be just about sex! I don't want people to look at me and judge me because I can't keep my legs crossed around him."

"Who are these people who'd think that? Me? Larry? Don't repress yourself just because you think you have to or because of what other people might think."

"Just let it go, Dave. Stop trying to tell me what to do all the time. I just don't want to have sex with Jon, okay?!"

"That's a strange thing to say about the person you love."

I snapped my head over to the back door of the bar. Jon stood there, leaning in the doorway. I stood frozen, horrified.

"I was just coming down to have a drink with you guys before you closed. Would you like to elaborate on that thought?"

We stared at each other for a moment before I turned and hurried out the front door.

I started running. I didn't know where I was planning to go, and I was still on the clock, but I needed to get away from there. I didn't know what to say to Jon. How to explain what I was feeling. After a minute or two, I slowed to a walk and eventually stopped completely. I leaned my back against the wall of the building I'd stopped in front of and rubbed my hands over my face.

Way to fuck it up, Lana. Way to take something you want and find a way to destroy it. You and your stupid brain.

I sighed and slid down the wall until I was sitting on the ground. I shut my eyes and thought about how I could possibly fix this.

"That doesn't look very comfortable."

I opened my eyes and looked up. "Larry? You followed me?"

"Yeah, well we figured someone needed to, and you might actually talk with me, so here I am. I wasn't about to run after you, bad knees and all. But I knew you wouldn't go far."

"I'm such a mess, Larry."

"Come on, girl, get up." He offered me his hand and I accepted, standing up and dusting off my butt. "Take a walk with me."

The night air was warm and humid. We walked in silence for a while, me following Larry's lead.

"I've been married and divorced three times. Most people would say that I'm not an expert on relationships because of that track record. I'd agree. I'm not an expert. But I've damn well learned some things from being a part of failed relationships. You have to communicate, Lana"

"But I did! I told him I wanted to wait for sex!"

"Nope, I need you to just listen and take in what I'm saying, okay?"

"Fine," I mumbled.

"Communication isn't just saying words. It's being honest in how you feel. It's the nonverbal things you do. It's listening to what the other person has to say, and really listening. So yes, you told him you didn't feel right and you wanted to wait. But think about the nonverbal communication you've been doing."

I thought about pushing him away, running away from him, and nonverbally rejecting him, even when he was only trying to be sweet.

"Have you sat down and told him why you're feeling this way?"

"Not really…"

"Have you tried having a back and forth discussion about how to fix this? Have you told him what you need from him?"

"Well...no."

"That's not a very good start to developing a solid relationship, don't you think?"

I grimaced as we turned another corner. Why do my friends have to be right all the time?

"Also, just saying you want something and then hoping it happens on its own isn't enough. You have to put the work in. And that goes for both of you, so don't think I'm implying that you need to work on the relationship alone. That's not a relationship. And it's going to take time. It won't just happen overnight. So although your decision to abstain from having sex with him until you figure things out, is that really what you want?"

"No, not at all. I've been tempted several times and it's only been two days."

"So why do you feel pressured to do this?"

I opened my mouth to answer, but then decided not to. I wasn't even sure anymore.

"I just have to sit down and talk to him about all of this. Then maybe I'll be able to think more clearly."

"Good. How about right now?"

I looked up at where we stopped and realized he'd walked me in a roundabout circle back to the bar.

"Thanks, Larry." I wrapped my arms around his barrel chest and squeezed him tightly.

"You're welcome, Lana. I just want you to be happy, my dear."

We said goodnight and I took a deep breath before heading inside. The bar was empty and the cleaning was nearly finished.

"Where did everyone go? We're open for five more minutes."

"After you ran out, the handful of people still around all cashed out and left. Some of them said they figured we should have an early night. We didn't lose that many sales."

"They didn't have to do that...but I appreciate it." I looked around the room at the spotless tables. "How did you clean up so quickly?"

"Jon helped. He's in the back finishing up the dishes."

"Seriously?" I tried to hide my smile. With all the emotional pressure I'd put on him the past two days, he was still trying to help make things easier for me.

"So what's the plan?" I asked.

"I texted Melody about ten minutes ago, so she's on her way to pick me up, and I don't need you to do any cleaning. We're all done. What I do need is for you to talk to Jon and figure this shit out. I know I gave you hell before about wanting him after he hurt you...and I'm always going to hate him a little bit for that...but we talked while you were gone and...I think he's a good guy at heart."

"Thanks Dave. I know he is."

The sound of the front door opening caused both of us to snap our attention to Melody as she entered. She was blonde, petite, and genetically gifted with an hourglass shape. She was absolutely beautiful, and I felt out of place simply standing in the same room as her.

"Hey, I hope I'm not late. Oh...?"

She looked startled, like she thought she'd interrupted something.

"Hi, Melody, I'm Lana, Dave's friend." I held out my hand for her to shake as she approached us.

"Right, The one who said I was his secretary."

"Dammit, Dave! Why would you tell her I said that?"

Dave was in hysterics. "I thought it was funny!"

I rolled my eyes. "Sorry about that...I'd had a stressful day."

"Who's the hot blonde?" Jon had just come out the door to the dishroom, a dirty towel slung over his shoulder.

"I should be asking the same thing. The name's Melody," she replied, her eyes taking him in.

A knot began to form in my stomach. After the way I'd been treating him these past two days, here was an opportunity for him to change his mind and run off with the new shiny. I honestly wouldn't blame him if he did.

"My name is Marco. I'm the bar's plumber," he responded.

I would've done a spit take if I'd been drinking.

"Is that so? I bet you must be very good at laying pipe."

"Sure, pipes, drains, sinks, you name it. I'm a very handy man. Right, Lana?"

"That's right...Marco. You're the best plumber we've ever had."

"Save the sweet talk for later tonight," he said, stroking my cheek with the back of his hand.

"Hmm. Nice pull, Lana," she said quietly. She turned to Dave and wrapped an arm around his waist. "So do you wanna go back to your place?"

"Yes please."

Dave locked the door behind him. Once they'd left, I turned to face Jon.

"What was that all about?" I asked, laughing.

"Did you want me to flirt with her?"

"Well...no. ...Did you want to flirt with her?"

"Not one bit. She was hot, sure, but you're the only woman I want." His charming words and smile made me knees feel weak. "So...we're all alone." He crossed his arms across his chest and cocked his head to the side. "Want to tell me why you've been so hot and cold with me? Or do I have to tie you up so you can't run away again?"

I felt myself getting aroused at his stern voice and I had the urge to run, but I knew that wasn't an option. I knew I needed to talk to him, but the words refused to come. I finally gave up at resisting and went with what felt natural.

"You want a drink? I want a drink." I went behind the bar, where I felt comfortable and less anxious. "Take a seat and I'll make you something."

He hesitantly sat down on a stool and leaned his elbows on the bar. "Don't think you can just get me drunk so I forget about what I want from you."

"I'd never dream of doing such a thing," I lied. A little part of me had hoped that would happen.

"I'll grab you a beer, but first I want you to try a shot I designed that is inspired by you."

"Really? Alright, bring it on."

"Great. You're going to have to close your eyes first. I want you to guess what's in it."

He raised his eyebrow at me, but closed his eyes anyway.

"Okay, you can open your eyes now," I said once I placed the finished shot in front of him.

He looked down at the glass, then back up to me. "Why is it red?"

"Just drink the damn thing."

He picked up the shot and threw it back. His instantly grimaced in disgust. "What the fuck...was that Tabasco?"

"I call it the "Fuck you motherfucker". It's a shot of 3 parts whiskey and 1 part hot sauce. I came up with it as a way to work through the hatred I felt for you."

"Did you ever try it yourself?"

"Hell no. I'd never drink that shit."

"You bitch," he laughed. "You fucking got me, alright. Now give me that beer so I can try to work out the horrible taste in my mouth."

I opened a cold bottle and handed it to him.

"That's kind of how I felt after everything that happened between us. The cheating, the fact that I still craved you like a drug, and the fact that even though you continued to harass me after, I still couldn't let go. It left a horrible taste in my mouth, and my heart figuratively burned. Not like the heartburn you'll probably feel later after drinking that shot."

"I know I fucked up big time. If I could go back a few months and kick me in the balls, I would."

"I know. And I accepted your apology, but the part of me that thinks I'm a fucking idiot for doing so is also the part telling me to avoid you when anything remotely sexual happens. That part of me pushes this guilt on me that I'm pathetic and weak for being with you. So like in my head, if I have sex with you right now, it will seal my fate. Like we're not actually a couple again as long as I keep the relationship sexless because our entire relationship was built on sex."

"I think that sounds fucking stupid, but who am I to judge? I'm the one who thought that by banging other chicks, I'd stop being in love with you. I guess what matters most is what you feel in your gut. What do you really want? What will make you happiest?"

I was thrown off guard. I still wasn't used to hearing him say stuff like this. I felt butterflies in my stomach, but I wasn't ready to acknowledge them.

"What I really want is some wine."

He laughed to himself as I drank straight from the bottle.

"Lush."

"Speak for yourself, buddy."

"I will. Get me a glass and some of that whiskey you used earlier. Without the fucking hot sauce in it this time."

I smiled and winked at him. "Sure thing, Marco."

I joined him on the other side of the bar and we passed the time drinking and talking. I felt no pressure, no guilt. He told me about his career goals.

"I've had both of the lower titles, but I still want the big one, you know?" he mused. "All of the boys do. I know I'll get there eventually. Also I want Roman and I to have the tag belts together. We can be called something dog related. I mean, big dog, street dog, hounds of justice…we'll probably be called the Canine Crusaders or some shit."

We laughed together and it reminded me of why I loved him in the first place.

"What about you, babe? Are you happy working here or is there anything else you want to do?" he asked.

"I know I'm not using my degree at all, but I like this business. I like the connections I can make with people. I making the drinks, and I like the creativity involved with coming up with new drink ideas. I thought of this fucking awful shot that the local college boys ended up loving. I call it Cough Syrup and it's Jäger and Grenadine. You know I've never actually told anyone before…but I kind of want to buy and run my own bar. "

"If you want it, you should do it. Every decision you make from now on should lead you to that goal. I'm looking forward to the day when I can say my girlfriend owns her own business."

I suddenly felt a strong wave of love for him rush over me…or maybe it was a rush of drunkness. Either way, it made me feel hazy and it shut up my overthinking brain. I knew what I wanted right now, and it was him.

I grabbed a handful of his shirt and pulled him closer to me. My breaths got faster and heavier, and I could tell his were, too.

"Do you want this, Lana?"

I rested my forehead against his, our eyes both half shut with lustful anticipation. Our lips parted, not yet touching, and for a brief moment, time stood still.