Chapter Twenty Five

I was woken up by the hand on my shoulder that was shaking me so much that my teeth were chattering.

I opened my eyes, and I met Jessi's blue ones.

"Oh, thank God," she said, and sank back against the ottoman behind her.

I sat up, and rubbed my eyes. "What?"

I looked around and realized that I had thrown pill bottles everywhere, and some had opened, causing them to cover the floor like little pink, blue, and white dots. There was also a knife on the floor, but it was clean.

"I thought you'd overdosed or something," she said, her shaking left hand covering her eyes. "I couldn't tell if any of the bottles were empty, considering they were everywhere." She ran the hand that had been covering her eyes through her hair. "What happened last night after I went up to bed?"

"I.. I don't.. I had a panic attack, and I couldn't find the Lorazepam.. And I threw pill bottles.." I pinched the bridge of my nose. "I don't really know."

"Did you take any pills?"

"I don't think I did."

She sighed, and managed to get herself off the floor. "I'm gonna make some breakfast. Do you want anything?"

"Sure. I'll take whatever you give me," I said, beginning to group the pills together. "I'm gonna clean up."

"Okay," she said, and I could see her sliding the knife across the floor by the hilt with her foot. I decided against saying anything, and continued picking up capsules and tablets.

* * *

The day before my birthday, Aaron came home around eight, and he was in an extremely bad mood.

When he walked in the door, I stopped in the kitchen doorway, and played with the long black drawstring on my purple plaid pajama pants, and then played with the bottom of my charcoal grey tank top, and didn't say anything, and neither did he.

Aaron kicked off his shoes, took off his jacket, and bumped past me, headed for the stairs. A few minutes later, I heard our bedroom door slam shut. I choked back a sob.

Jessi wrapped her arms around me, and patted my back. "Don't take it personally, Caitlin. I've known him since he was born. This is just how he gets when he's in a really bad mood. He has a trigger temper most of the time. He'll cool down eventually." I nodded and rested my head on her shoulder. "It's gonna be okay, you know."

"Yeah, I know. It just seems like I did something to make him mad." I wiped my eyes. "Did I?"

"You didn't do anything, Caitlin. He's just mad because.." She trailed off.

"Because..?" I prompted.

"Never mind," Jessi said, patting my back again. "It isn't important."

I sighed, and let it go. "Okay."

"You hungry?"

"Not really, but I expect I need to eat something sooner or later." Jessi smiled and nodded.

I disentangled myself from her, and followed her into the kitchen, and sat at the kitchen table, grabbing a pen and a notebook. I flipped it open and began to write.

"Whatcha writing?" Jessi asked, a frying pan in her hand.

"A song that's stuck in my head. This is about the only way I know how to get them out of there," I said, continuing to write as I spoke.

"Ah. What song?"

"I can't think of the name right now, but I'll figure it out eventually," I replied, writing so fast my hand was beginning to cramp.

Before I knew it, Jessi had plopped a plate with three grilled cheese sandwiches on it in front of me.

"Put the pen down, and eat, young lady," she said smiling.

I grinned and picked one up. "They look great."

"Why, thank you. It takes vast culinary experience to create the delicacy known as the grilled cheese sandwich!" Jessi exclaimed, wiggling her fingers, and I burst out laughing.

"You are so much like your brother," I said, pulling my sandwich apart and dipping it in ketchup. "It's kinda scary, you know?"

"Yeah, we've been told that," she said, still giggling.

"I still say you two also look alike." Jessi rolled her eyes.

"No we don't!"

"You do."

"We do not."

"You do too."

"Do not."

"Do too."

"Not."

"Too."

"Not."

"Not."

"Too."

"HAHA!" I shouted, dropping my grilled cheese. "I WIN!"

"You used reverse psychology on me! That isn't fair!" she said, throwing a piece of crust at me.

I picked it up and stuck it in my mouth. "It is, darling, because you never said I couldn't use it." I smirked, and she pouted.

"You're mean."

"And you're a good cook."

"Flattery gets you nowhere." I raised my eyebrow. "Okay, maybe it gets you some places."

"Of course it does." Aaron came down the stairs, and I blinked. "Hey."

"Hey," he said, lifting his hand in a small wave. "Whatcha doin'?"

"Eating," I replied, picking at my sandwich. "You hungry?"

"Nah." He hopped up onto the counter and rested his head against the cabinets.

Jessi blinked a few times, and then turned to look at me. "What were we talking about?"

"..Um.. Right. About how you and Aaron look alike, and about how I had won by using my vast knowledge of the art of reverse psychology." Jessi rolled her eyes.

"We do not look alike!" She turned to Aaron. "Do we?"

"I thought we established the fact that you and I look nothing alike the first time you two met," he pointed out.

"..True.. But, you know, you two do. Really! As I said before, put Aaron in a blonde wig, or shave Jessi's head and you two are twins!" They both glared at me. "See? You two glare alike, too."

"Shut up already," Jessi growled.

"I love you, too," I said, and laughed.