I've had a couple of suggestions to tough it out... So I will. I'll try to like girl '_'

So when I updated a year ago they didn't have any fancy country by country month by month traffic trackers. I was so fascinated that I watched someone from australia go through all 24 of the other chapters... and then not review. Does this make me a creeper? Hmm... I would love opinions on the story at this point, or if I mix things up or forget things... it's been a while :\

I won't go into detail about that night with Prowl… You'd think that not getting a chance to drink anything but a cup of water at the hotel would have me all set for the night. Oh no. Ohhh no. Let's just say Prowl was serious about not letting me out of the car, and it's a good thing McDonald's will give you an empty cup if you ask nicely from a police car.

Things were obviously a little uncomfortable after that, not on Prowl's side since apparently being modest about that sort of thing only happens when you do it on a regular basis, but I was silent for the rest of the trip, until we saw Ironhide the next morning.

"See that big black truck down the highway?" Prowl asked me.

I squinted and nodded. "Yeah, why?"

"It's Ironhide. Look behind him."

Ironhide wasn't alone. Glinting just behind him on the highway was a ruby Aston Martin.

"Hotrod… Hotrod!!!" I resisted the urge to pound on Prowl's dashboard, and Hotrod flashed his brights twice, probably to make sure I saw him. Relief flooded me in a way I never could have expected, and suddenly I was nervous. Hotrod was definitely more human-friendly than Skywarp, but that difference was getting a little too friendly…

At least, I wanted to think the idea of a nearly twenty foot tall robot having honest feelings for me was uncomfortable or repulsive, but somehow, deep down in the mishmash of emotions that made up me, I wanted it. Maybe it could never be the kind of thing I must of dreamed about growing up, having a beautiful wedding on the beach with fabulous peacocks chasing the guest's children while the wind blew sand into everyone's cake… Children. There would never be any children.

Prowl unexpectedly pulled over on the shoulder of the highway and I watched as Hotrod blew past us, only to do a U-turn and pull up behind us on the road with only minimal terror to the regular drivers going about their business. Ironhide disappeared going the opposite direction, probably looking for a normal exit to avoid attention.

"Hotrod wants to know if you'd prefer to ride with him." Prowl sounded wary. "I don't know if we should risk it. If there really is a tracking device we have no idea how long it will take for the Decepticons to find you… Even the moment it takes to get to him might be enough."

My heart was leaping in my chest. "Maybe… Back up as close as you can and I'll run. A few seconds tops, from your seat to his. It took them at least a half hour to find me last time."

"This is a bad idea."

"Please, Prowl. Minimal risk, I swear."

I could hear his motor grumbling unhappily, but the passenger side door popped open. I whooped with glee and bolted out as soon as I got unbuckled, crashing into Hotrod's passenger side door in my haste.

"Oh, uh, oops! Door handle, heh…" I spluttered. This had to be high school all over again. I pulled the door open and swung in, settling into the leather with a pleased sigh. After I gathered my wits, I looked up to see his hologram staring at me with looked to be relief and panic at the same time. My eyes swept over the hair, the crackling blue of his eyes. His hologram was beautiful, not like Prowl's, which had resembled Barricade's so much that I'd avoided looking at it.

He spoke first. "I lost you again. They took you. I'm sorry, I'm so sor-"

As he spoke I leaned over the console and with my eyes open wide to gauge the distance, pressed my lips where his hologram's were. It crackled almost painfully against my skin and I didn't actually touch anything solid, but it shut him up and I leaned back, watching.

His fingers came up to his mouth, his eyes staring at me in shock. "You kissed me?"

I shifted uncomfortably in the seat, fumbling for the seatbelt to avoid his eyes. "Yes. It seemed like the right thing to do."

"Bravura?"

I looked up slowly, uncertain now. High school, all over again.

"Maybe… I can get the hologram upgrades so that… next time… I don't give you static hair."

My hands flew up and indeed, my hair was floating in ways it definitely shouldn't. I frantically smoothed it down as Hotrod's laughter filled the car. Once I was satisfied with a peek in the visor mirror, I looked back at him. His engine rumbled and he pulled onto the highway, Prowl several car lengths ahead already.

He was serious again. "I'm glad you're ok. It was my fault for letting it happen, I should've been quicker." His eyes swept me up and down, then practically bugged out at the sight of my arm. "Your cast! Where's your cast?! You must be in excruciating pain! I don't have your pain pills! How could they do that? What kind of torture did they put you through? What kind of sick degenerate-"

I let him go for a while, waiting for him to run out of insults before I held up my arm and waved my hand, rotating my wrist. "Skywarp fixed it, somehow. And no, it wasn't your fault. It wasn't anybody's fault. Just bad luck… and maybe a tracking chip that Frenzy stuck in me somewhere."

Hotrod mouth hung open for a long moment, and then he went blank, but I could feel the rage boiling off of him. "That hopeless moron experimented on you? He's an idiot, he's only good for sneak attacks, he is useless without Starscream! And a tracking device too? Are they trying to give you cancer or just save the time and kill you outright?!"

"It's ok, Hotrod. Ratchet will check it out. Maybe there isn't one, it's just what Prowl thinks-"

"Prowl is almost always right. They've been trying to track you all this time and I never knew a thing. I should've known, I spent the most time with you."

I stared at my lap helplessly, feeling his blue eyes on me. I wished he had to watch the road. The overprotective tone he'd taken on reminded me of Skywarp, of me going to him and asking to sleep on his chest. I was pitiful… But who would want to be left alone at night after… after what I'd been through in Texas?

As I thought about the revenge I'd requested, the mistake of it suddenly hit me. If Hotrod found out I'd sent Barricade on a murder mission… Killing without cause went against everything the Autobots seemed to stand for, and this cold-blooded killing… It was because of me that those men would probably die. I was no better than Barricade, crushing my parents in a furious fit.

"What's wrong?" His rage had lessened as he watched my expression fade from fake cheerfulness to outright shame.

"Nothing… Just… Nothing." I looked out the passenger side window, hugging myself. Hotrod's hologram stared for a long time, then I heard it flicker out, giving me the illusion of privacy.

Hours later my hunger was becoming unbearable. I hadn't eaten a decent meal since Autobot city. Hotrod's clock said it was a little after noon, and a billboard advertising a seedy drive through restaurant made me drool.

I reached over and tapped the driver's seat, hoping it caught his attention. "Hey, remember when you burnt that grilled cheese for me…?"

"Er… yes."

"Do you think you could make it up to me by letting us stop and get some food? I'll stay in the car, and I won't spill anything on you."

"I'll ask Prowl and Ironhide." A long moment passed, then, "Prowl say's it only about 40 miles to Autobot City. As fast as we're going, it should only be 20 minutes or so. Can you wait?"

I moaned and curled into my seat childishly. "What do you know, you probably never get hungry…"

"Not true, I need energon from time to time."

I looked back at the empty driver's seat. "Really? I've never seen that."

"Yup, out of little cubes. Prowl is probably starving too, you know."

I sighed and stared at my lap once again. I was feeling more and more petulant all the time. "Ok… I can wait."

"That's my girl. Sam and Bee aren't home, but… Mirage will be happy to see you."

I was surprised he'd mentioned Mirage. "Is Mirage ok?"

"He's fine… kind of peeved his second best hologram got slagged, and he took some pretty solid hits in the fight at the hotel, blacked out an optic and everything, but he's all right. He fought hard to try to save you…"

I nodded. Hotrod was having trouble hating someone who wanted to protect the same thing he did. Of all the transformers, Mirage had made the most effort to figure out what I needed, from getting me out of Autobot City for a break to comforting me in a weak moment. I really needed that zero-pressure friendship. Hotrod was great to have around, but somehow I just didn't want to spill my true feelings to him. He seemed like such a kid sometimes, and I wasn't sure how much he would like me if he knew what I was really like. I knew that was a mistake; he needed to care about me for who I was, not who I wanted him to see.

I almost chuckled to myself at that thought. Most of the mechs I knew didn't seem to bother with protecting my emotions, especially not Skywarp. Skywarp, the one who was possibly the most irrational about the twisted situation I was trapped in, probably cared about my needs the least, excepting Barricade, who probably wished I was dead. I realized that somehow the distance from my feelings was a good thing… I could deal with my pain on my own time.