Arthur and Gwaine sat on opposite sides of the fire, refusing to acknowledge the other's presence. Guinevere and the knights had given up on trying to make them see sense. A silence settled over them, and the three who observed were too frightened to break it.
Finally Arthur spoke up, trying to be the adult. "I am sorry for yelling at you."
Gwaine looked up. "Apology not accepted."
It was Arthur's turn to look back at the other man, aggravated. "What do you mean 'not accepted?'"
"I mean," said Gwaine patronizingly, "that I do not accept your apology, nor will I until you right the wrong you have done to an innocent man."
Arthur struggled to contain his anger. "What do you mean?" He asked, his voice shaking slightly, already knowing the answer.
"Merlin."
Anger and rage passed over Arthur's face at hearing his old friend's name. Rage and something else that Gwaine couldn't put a finger on. Was it shame?
"I have since," said Arthur slowly, trying not to let his emotions show through, "been trying to change the laws concerning magic, and those who practice it. I am willing to accept those with it, and wish for all my subjects to be free."
Arthur's rage and anger were mirrored back at him on Gwaine's face. "Well it's too late for that," he spat. "My friend is dead, because you changed your mind too late."
Arthur narrowed his eyes, "you don't think he was my friend too? I cared for him, he was closer to me than anyone."
"Oh, really," said Gwaine, in a dangerously quiet voice. "I suppose that's why you killed him. Couldn't take anyone being closer than a subject? Watch out My Lady, he'll come after you next."
"You have no idea," said Arthur, his voice rising in response to Gwaine's threat to Guinevere. "You have no idea what I've gone through. I have lost a friend, a servant, and a loyal citizen of my kingdom. You have no idea what it's like—"
"Oh yes I do, sweetheart," said Gwaine, his voice rising. "Oh yes I do. And don't you dare tell me I don't know what it's like to go through your losses. I've lost my best friend, my first real friend. I would never have found my way if it wasn't for that man, I would never have even considered becoming a knight for your damned royal court if it wasn't for him, and don't you dare say I don't know what it's like. If you feel so cheated, you shouldn't have killed him."
Arthur wanted to tell him about his suspicions about being enchanted. Arthur wanted to yell and curse at Gwaine for not understanding. He wanted everyone to understand what a burden he carried, for them to see that he was not as strong as he tried to show off. But he couldn't, not now. Not when they would just think he was making excuses for his actions. That would have to wait, if the time ever even came.
"I thought I saw him, once," said Gwaine suddenly, his voice suddenly hushed and soft. "Merlin. Several weeks ago."
"What happened?" asked Guinevere.
"I was in a tavern. Yeah, I was drunk, but I know what I saw!" he added defensively at the looks he was given by the group. "I know what I saw, and it was not a vision. I know I what I saw was real."
The group gave him a skeptical look before he continued.
"Anyway, I was drunk, and I swear I saw him, in the back. I didn't get a clear view of his entire face, but I saw him smile. You know that stupid goofy smile he always had plastered on? You couldn't mistake it for any other. I know it was him…" his voice cracked and trailed off. He angrily brushed tears from his eyes.
The rest of the group looked on him with pity. They could only imagine what a horrible experience that could have been, thinking you saw a dead friend only for it to be a hallucination. They believed his story, but knew that Merlin was most definitely not in that tavern that night.
"And now you're looking for a sorcerer?" asked Gwaine, changing the subject, and failing to look more cheery. "Seems ironic."
"We have no choice," said Guinevere before Arthur could respond. "Morgana is planning an attack on Camelot. An attack with an army of sorcerers."
Gwaine didn't look surprised. "Sounds about right," he commented. "I didn't expect them to stay in hiding long after the execution."
Arthur scowled. "We are seeking a man named Emrys," he explained. "We have been told that he is living in the Perilous Lands."
Gwaine, still unphased, simply nodded, looking back into the fire. "The Perilous Lands…" he murmured. "Perfect place for hiding if you don't want to be caught."
"What do you mean?" asked Leon.
"Well if he's a sorcerer, I wouldn't expect him to stay out in the open. Too many people hunting you down, ready to kill you on sight."
The group shuddered slightly at the realization. Before they hadn't put too much though into why Emrys would live in such a place. Now it made perfect, although twisted, sense.
"Will you join us?" asked Arthur quietly, staring at the ex-knight intently. "We could use someone like you. You knew Merlin closely, perhaps you could help us persuade the man to help us."
Gwaine sat back, looking back at the king questioningly. Finally, "Yes, I will join you. But not to support you. I will join for Merlin's sake; he wouldn't have wanted me to abandon you when you needed help."
Relief flooded over the King and his party.
"Thank you."
"This doesn't mean I've forgiven you."
"Likewise."
Gwaine tried to smile, which turned out to be more of a grimace. He turned away from the group and laid down on his side, ready to sleep.
"Good night, Princess. Best get your beauty sleep."