Disclaimer – I do not own Star Wars.

Chapter 25

Neri, up to her neck in hot water, thought that nothing had ever felt so physically blissful than the bath that had been drawn for her. They had arrived at the Resistance base one hour earlier and Leia had insisted on a long soak before anything else. She and Kylo had been split up upon arrival at the base, just a few hours after they awoken from their rest, and she wondered where he was. Showering, she guessed, scrubbing off the filth of the past several days.

She sunk deeper into the tub and blew bubbles with her mouth, finally allowing herself to dip under the surface completely. When she came up, she scrubbed at her skin until it was pink and washed her hair. The comb caught each and every knot and she grimaced as she forced it through her short hair, eventually throwing it across the bathroom in frustration.

The water had gone cold and, luxury gone, Neri thought that she was just sitting in her own filth and pulled the plug, rising unsteadily to grab a towel. As she dried herself, she looked at the clothing that Leia had brought her before her bath. Her fingers ran over the simple white dress, the soft boots that had been hers before the Starkiller base. She wondered why Leia had held onto them, as the general had told her all of her other clothes had been disbursed between whomever was small enough to fit into them, and pulled everything on. The dress was a little too big on her now, having not eaten in several days, but it was a comfort, a reminder that she belonged somewhere. She stepped from Leia's bathroom gingerly and joined her in the small sitting room of the general's apartment, from which they went into the base to find Kylo and some food.

Kylo, on the other side of the compound, stepped out of his intentionally sweltering shower and dried himself with a rough towel that a droid had provided. He looked at himself in the mirror, noticing just how gaunt he had become, and frowned at his reflection. He looked more like a wraith than a man, desperately in need of a long sleep and a large meal.

He tried not to roll his eyes at the clothing left for him and pulled it on, trying to ignore the lack of his preferred black. The tunic was beige, looking nearly identical to what a Jedi would wear, and the leggings dark brown. His old boots, all but ruined in his final days on the First Order's base, had been discarded and replaced with a soft brown pair that were (if he were being honest with himself) were much more comfortable that anything he'd worn in the last few years.

Once dressed, he looked at himself again in the mirror and didn't recognize his reflection. He looked like a Jedi, not a Knight of Ren, and scowled because he was neither. Running his fingers through knotted hair, he sighed and left the bathroom. His uncle waited for him, acting as both protector and babysitter on the base, and, in silence, they left the room to join Neri and his mother. He tried to ignore the glares along the way.

Neri received a warm welcome as she walked through the halls of the base, greeted back to the Resistance by its many members. Along with her former friends and collaborators were many new faces, and she wondered when the Resistance had gotten so large.

"Lei!" shouted a man from down the hall. "Neri Lei!"

Neri turned to find Poe barreling into her, encasing her in a tight bear hug that took her off her feet. She would have hugged him back if her arms weren't pinned to her sides and gasped for air once he released her and set her on the floor unsteadily.

"Exuberant as ever," she said as she rubbed her arms to regain feeling in them.

"How can I not be?" he replied, laughing. "I thought I'd lost my star pupil but here you are, and in one piece from what I can see."

Neri made her face as grim as possible. "I'm actually missing most of my middle. General Organa hoped the dress would keep anyone from noticing."

Poe punched her playfully in the arm and stepped back, looking her over to make sure she was really intact. Neri noticed his companion then, remembering him despite their short time on the base together.

"Fin," she said, smiling at the former stormtrooper. "How do you find the Resistance?"

He glanced at Poe and smiled back at her shyly. "I find it to be very satisfactory," he muttered, rubbing the back of his neck. "Much better than the First Order, as I'm sure you know by now."

Neri shrugged. "I had a sheltered view of it. I trained mostly."

Fin's face hardened. "Under him," he said, and Neri could feel the animosity rolling off of the normally pleasant man.

She knew that this would be the most common response to Kylo, and surmised that it would be better to face it head on rather than avoiding the obvious issues. "Yes, under him. I think you will find him quite the changed man, as we find you after your dissention." She stared into his dark eyes, not wavering in her defense of the man she had come to love. "Should we distrust you as well? Think of you only as a stormtrooper?"

Poe began to say something but Fin beat him to it. "They brainwashed me from childhood, punished me in ways you wouldn't imagine when I didn't comply."

Neri smiled sadly. "You and Kylo have that in common then. You should be the first to understand his struggle to escape the darkness that is the First Order and Supreme Leader Snoke."

"It's not the same thing!" Fin nearly shouted. "He's a murderer, an absolute-"

"Monster?" interrupted a voice behind Fin and Poe. Kylo stood there beside his uncle, face blank. He looked at the former trooper. "I won't deny either accusation and can give you several more if you like."

"Ren," Fin spat out, his disgust clear on his face.

Kylo stepped around him to stand nearer to Neri. "I am no longer part of the Knights of Ren so that title is no longer necessary."

Fin glowered at him and everyone else held their breath, not wanting to intervene. Neri knew that this would be the first of many such altercations and that her word would not be enough to convince anyone of anything. Kylo's mother and uncle, feeding off of each other's calm energy, watched him closely, noticing how he placed himself before Neri to guard her from possible harm and how she immediately moved beside him to face said harm equally. Poe was both horrified and bemused at the presence of his former torturer and thought that he should take life more seriously at times such as these.

"Do you expect me to believe that you changed so much just because you met someone?" Fin wouldn't back down. "No offense to you Neri, though I'm really not comprehending how you could care for…this."

"Haven't you changed, since meeting your pilot? I'm sure your relationship has altered you drastically in some way." Fin and Poe both looked aghast and Kylo smiled, continuing. "Everyone here knows already; can't you sense their complete lack of surprise? I don't need the Force to see that." Everyone shrugged as the two men looked at them. It had been fairly obvious to anyone with eyes.

Kylo took a step closer to Fin. "Besides," he said quietly, looking intensely at his now-counterpart. "I always struggled with my commitment to the dark, from the moment I left my uncle's training. You saw what I wished for you to see, so I wouldn't expect you to understand. Remember though, I saw your dissention on Jakku and did nothing. I let you scurry away, back to your ranks and your fake anonymity. Neri was merely the push I needed to realize the egregious error in my ways." Kylo stepped back, took Neri's hand in his. She felt the tremor in his fingers, felt the anxiety in him. She tried to calm him, leaning into his arm and allowing her energy to seep into him.

Leia bit the insides of her cheeks to keep from smiling at his change. She thought she should remain unassailable when regarding her son, show her troops that she was interested in the wellbeing of the Resistance first and family loyalties second.

"I think it is time for Neri to finally get something to eat," she said, turning on her heel. Neri and her son followed without another word to Poe or Fin and Luke completed the group, a few steps behind the couple. Kylo thought briefly that this was how prisoners were escorted, with a guard in the front and back, but let that escape his mind as quickly as it came. He was prisoner only of his own guilt.

Neri was eating voraciously, her hunger of several days finally catching up with her when she sat down in the crowded dining hall. Kylo received withering stares from those around them but he ate quietly, his face unreadable to all but her. She could sense his inner turmoil, the struggle between his pride and his guilt, and held his hand beneath the table. Every few minutes they would hear his name come up in conversations around them, but they both pretended to ignore the jabs.

Luke and Leia had left them alone, each of them having other duties to see to, and no one else approached the table until there was a loud thump on the bench across from them. They both jumped, having been focused on their food and their quiet, and simultaneously looked at whoever had sat down.

Rey, her hair in a long braid over one shoulder, had already begun eating. Neri thought that perhaps eating was a generous word for what the young woman did. She was more or less inhaling her food.

Kylo stiffened beside her and set his fork down. "Are you here to babysit me?" he asked his uncle's new padawan mockingly.

Rey shook her head and took a long gulp of water before answering him. "You don't need a babysitter," she said. "I'm just trying to be friendly, or did you not need that in this room full of love for you?"

Neri squeezed his hand, feeling his annoyance building. She knew Rey could probably feel it too. "Most haven't been so accepting of his…change."

Rey shrugged and ripped a piece of bread apart with nimble fingers. "Master Luke says that he's seen into your mind, Kylo or Ben or whoever you are. He said that your intentions are good."

Kylo looked at Neri and then at the girl who had bested him on the Starkiller base. "And that's it?" he asked incredulously.

Rey nodded. "I trust him," she said simply. "If he has forgiven you for all you've done, who am I to question it? He is the son of Darth Vader, after all, he should know a thing or two about redemption."

Neri frowned, not understanding. She knew who Luke was and, vaguely, who his father was, but she didn't see the connection. She thought it was a question best saved for another time.

Rey, her mouth full of bread, pointed at Kylo's face. "I got you good, didn't I?" she asked, smiling. "Think of how quick I could beat you now that I've had actual training."

Kylo rolled his eyes and picked up his fork. He wouldn't be goaded by her. The last thing he needed was an outburst in the middle of a room of people who already didn't trust him.

"Is he always so moody?" Rey asked Neri. Neri decided to eat rather than answer and Rey huffed comically. "You're both zero fun, but I have to endure your droll company for a few moments longer at least."

"Why is that?" Kylo asked, an edge to his voice. "We aren't keeping you here."

Neri nudged him in the ribs and told him to be nice, which made Rey laugh.

"I'm taking you to your room, unless you'd like separate quarters of course. Master Luke said you'd prefer to be together, but Neri, if you wanted to desert him I absolutely understand."

Neri blushed at the thought of Luke Skywalker recommending a shared room for Kylo and herself. She couldn't imagine what he had seen when he looked into their minds. "One room is fine thank you," she muttered.

Finished with their food, the three rose together and strode through the dining hall. Curious eyes followed them, wondering why Rey was being friendly with their enemy, and Kylo bristled under their gaze. He walked behind Neri and Rey who were conversing easily and wondered when he would stop being the main attraction.

Not soon enough for Kylo and too soon for both of the young women before him, they reached the quarters that would belong to the couple indefinitely. Rey entered a code on the keypad and the door opened, Kylo stepping inside quickly. Neri followed, thanking Rey emphatically, and laughed as Rey shouted through the closed door, her words muffled but still too loud.

"Be quiet about that forbidden love of yours! These walls are far too thin for that nonsense!"

The entire base must have heard.