But I Thought You Thought I Thought You Thought I-

"Please?"

"No!"

"Pretty please?"

"No!"

"But-"

"I don't care that they are your teammates!" Haku pointed a senbon at Naruto's face. Behind him, a few more of the nurses shuffled awkwardly. With the exception of Tsunade's time, general policy was to let the crazy and upset ninja do what they wanted within the hospital ward. Haku was not having that. "They are in critical condition! You may not talk to them, you may not see them, you may leave a shadow clone here transformed into a potted plant or something, and then leave so you can stop distracting me!"

Naruto gulped and nodded, then began slowly walking away.

Haku sagged against the infirmary' door frame and started mumbling to himself. "Oh my god I shouted at him what if he stops liking me-FOCUS! PATIENTS!" He slapped his own cheeks forcefully to clear his head and turned back to the infirmary. "Alright, we've got two half dead clan heirs to repair let's get moving." He paused and looked at the other nurses for a moment. "Why are you all staring at me? Go!"

Naruto stalked back up into the stands and moved up to grip the railing, staring down with laser focus into the arena.

"...Are you okay?" Kakashi eventually asked.

"Peachy." Naruto spat.

Kakashi rolled his eyes. "They're going to be fine. Jiraiya's with them checking up on the curse marks, and Konoha's best doctors are in there."

"But not me." Naruto grimaced.

"Well, you don't want too many cooks in the kitchen." Kakashi reasoned. "I didn't know you had practiced medical ninjutsu, Naruto."

"I don't-they're my teammates."

"And if we were in a situation where your talk no jutsu was needed to save them, I'd escort you in there myself." Kakashi allowed. "But as it is, you pacing in the corner of the room, peeking over the doctors' shoulders and radiating the kyuubi's chakra everywhere...It will only hurt their recovery. Remember what I told you when they were getting sealed during the preliminaries?"

"Sometimes the best thing to do is nothing at all." Naruto recited, bitterly.

"Exactly. So take a deep breath, watch the next match, and stop taking your frustrations out on that poor railing."

Naruto followed his instructions, letting go of the railing and falling back into a chair Kakashi had helpfully pulled up. The red disappeared from his eyes, and both ignored the hand-prints that he had left in the metal bars.

An hour had passed since Sasuke's fight with Hinata, and now it was time for fight two of the day. Gekko pocketed his orange covered book, checked his watch, and sighed. "Alright then, Sabaku no Kankuro, Nara Shikimaru. Get your asses down here."

The Suna and Konoha genin both took their sweet time following that instruction, walking together down the staircase into the arena.

"Still sure you don't want me to forfeit for you?" Kankuro offered again.

"No thanks." Shikimaru replied. "Like I said, it wouldn't solve anything for me. You seem pretty insistent on not fighting tomorrow. Any particular reason?"

"Apathy, same as you." Kankuro lied. "I won't go out of my way for it. Who knows, I might just throw the fight. Make you look good and then let you catch me."

"Not a bad idea." Shikimaru allowed. Then he smiled slyly. "Of course, if I forfeited right out of the gate you wouldn't get the chance. Then what would you do?"

"Take the win, I suppose." Kankuro was swearing internally.

"But then you would have to fight tomorrow." Shikimaru pointed out.

Kankuro laughed, hoping it didn't sound too nervous. "I've already told you, I have no reason not to."

"Really?" Shikimaru's smile became a bit predatory. "Prove it."

Kankuro's fists tightened.

Together they walked out into view of the masses.

"Same rules as for the last fight." Gekko told them. "If you have any incredibly dramatic grudges you need to settle like they did, go ahead, but do try not to murder each other."

"I doubt that will be a problem." Shikimaru remarked.

The two squared off against each other.

"You could always just forfeit the next fight against Hinata." Kankuro pointed out. "It'd give you a better shot at being chunin, and you'd still be ready for your 'bad feeling' you told me about."

"You're right." Shikimaru casually agreed. "I could do that."

Kankuro grimaced.

Fuck, what's he going to do? Whose match came first tomorrow again? He couldn't be running on fumes when everything went down, but if he was called upon to fight he damn well might be, especially against Hinata who had put up such a fight earlier. But he couldn't let Shikimaru find out. Or did he already know? The bastard had been acting like he knew something the whole damn time. Was Shikimaru implying he would forfeit a bluff? Or was he actually going to do it? Kankuro didn't want to reveal anything about his fighting style either...fuck fuck fuck.

Shikimaru just stood there, perfectly relaxed.

"If both contestants are ready..." Gekko looked at them both. They nodded.

"Okay then. May the second match of the chunin exam finals...Begin!"

"I FORFEIT!"

There was a long moment of silence.

Both contestants were looking at each other. Kankuro with a defeated glare. Shikimaru smiling like he'd just had a theory confirmed. In fact, he probably had.

"You...Both? Forfeit?" Gekko pointed a finger between them. "So who wins?"

"Neither of us. We both lose." Kankuro sighed, though he knew that wasn't really true.

"But...then who fights tomorrow?" Gekko looked genuinely baffled.

"Neither of us." Shikimaru explained. "Tomorrow Naruto fights Gaara, then the winner of that fights Hinata, and that's the final round of the exams. Congratulations, you get a normal four person bracket."

"And since you can't expect Gaara or Naruto to fight Hinata right after each other, the tournament still lasts three days." Kankuro pointed out. "So you don't lose out on any tourism money."

The crowd by that point had realised that they weren't going to get any violence. Boos began to rain down from the stadium.

"This generation is going to be the death of me. Fucking ninlennials..." Gekko sighed. "Alright, get out of here."

Up with the rest of the genin, Naruto was in shock.

"Well." Kakashi deadpanned. "That just happened."

The crowds dispersed, and the afternoon passed.

"So let me get this straight." Sasuke confirmed, from the infirmary bed. "I'm not going to die?"

"No, you're fine." Haku sighed. "Now get presentable. Visiting time starts in-"

The second hand of the clock ticked past twelve, making it four o'clock, and Itachi immediately appeared in the room asking "Is he okay?"

"Sasuke's fine, sir." Haku replied, with some combination of subservience and exasperation. "Most of the aches and bruises are minor and will be gone within hours. The serious issues are his ribs and leg, but he is a ninja. He'll be able to limp to tomorrow's match if he wants to, and he'll be fit to continue training-light training-after a week. And I've already factored the Uchiha's pride into that timescale, its shorter than it should be so don't even think about shrinking it further."

Itachi nodded, before frowning at Haku. "Aren't you the ninja that tried to kill my brother a few months ago?"

"...yes..." Haku shifted. "Sorry about that."

"But we're cool now." Sasuke assured his sibling. "Since he knows how to break people really precisely he's also good at fixing them, so he works here."

"He?" Itachi checked, with narrowed eyebrows.

"He." Haku confirmed, grimacing.

"Well, okay then." Itachi sat down on the end of the bed. "That was a bold move in the arena, Sasuke."

"I didn't have much of a choice. It was either miss or kill Hinata, and I didn't have much of a fighting chance afterwards with what I did to my leg." Sasuke defended himself.

Itachi nodded. "I saw, and I'm sure the Hokage saw too. But still, even after Father telling you to win at all costs?"

"Even then." Sasuke replied, certainty in his voice. "She's my teammate. The tournament comes far below that on my priority list. Do you...do you think dad will understand?"

Itachi smiled warmly, and put his hand on Sasuke's shoulder. "Brother, remember first of all that he's your father."

Sasuke smiled back.

"But no he won't."

Sasuke's smile fell.

"As in he's probably incredibly disappointed in you."

"Oh."

"He left immediately to go back to the Uchiha compound in a sulk, so it's safe to say he would much rather you murdered your teammate. Because he's an asshole."

Sasuke looked up in mild horror. "He-what? Wait, really?"

Itachi nodded emphatically. "Oh trust me. I hate him."

"But you-"

"He's my clan head so I still have to do what he says." Itachi admitted. "But the only reason I still come to dinner is to act as a buffer between him and you."

"You do?"

"Our family for the last few years has been a war to get influence over you with your mother trying desperately to keep things together."

Sasuke groaned and laid back in his bed. "Well, fuck. How have I not noticed this?"

"You're desperate for his praise and you idolise me." Itachi rationalised, cringing. "And could you...stop that? It makes me feel like I'm manipulating you."

"Have you been?" Sasuke asked.

"A little bit, yeah. Sorry."

"Great." He rolled his eyes. "Any advice going forwards?"

"As much as I hate to say it...grow up. Fast." Itachi pat his brother on the shoulder one more time, then headed for the door.

Sasuke and Haku shared a bewildered glance.

"Oh, and by the way." Itachi paused at the door. "Taking all that into account...I am proud of you, Sasuke. Well done." #

With that, he left.

Kankuro, after detouring for a long walk, slammed open the door to his apartment and stormed in.

"The fuck was that in the arena, brother?" Temari asked, without looking up.

"Hey, Gaara." Kankuro turned to his own brother. "I need you to kill a guy."

"Of course." Gaara looked up brightly. "Who?"

"Quietly, mind you." Kankuro warned. "This is an assassination job."

"No problem at all. Some relief should be good."

"Great. He's called Nara Shikimaru."

"What?" Temari looked up. The fox in her lap looked up worriedly before settling back down. "No, belay that. Gaara, don't kill the Nara."

"Belay that belay that." Kankuro shot back. "Gaara, kill the Nara."

"I am now very confused. I don't like that." Gaara warned them.

"Hold on, why do you want him dead?" Temari asked.

"He knows." Kankuro explained. "I don't know how, but he knows."

"How could he?" His sister reasoned. "Did you tell him? Does he have any evidence?"

"No." Admitted Kankuro. "But he was making weird references! And he's smart."

"That's not exactly evidence." Temari pointed out.

"This is already conflicting with a previous request from Temari in which I am supposed to spare Shikimaru specifically." Gaara pointed out, drawing Kankuro's attention.

"She what?" Kankuro spun on his brother. "Why?"

"If I understand correctly, she intends to mate with him." Gaara said, oblivious to his sister's spluttering. "Which she cannot do if he is dead. These examples of living people's usefulness keep appearing; it's almost like my natural state of being shouldn't be to murder."

"Yeah, almost." Kankuro rounded on his sister. "You fucking what?"

"He-I mean-Gaara is making assumptions again." Temari was red faced and refused to meet his eyes. "But Shikimaru is kinda, well..."

"Insane." Kankuro threw his arms up into the air. "You're all insane! Ever since we came to this hellhole of a hidden village, you've both gone crazy!"

"I thought I was already crazy." Gaara mused.

"Can I remind you both that we're supposed to be destroying this place?" He continued ranting. "Now is not a good time for you to be getting attached to people! Temari you used to be the focused one, but now you-you..." he pointed at her lap, distracted. "And you still have that damn fox with you!"

"Uzu is a present from Gaara." She mumbled, stroking the animal.

"You named it? Wait, you named it after Naruto?"

"You are becoming very excited, Kankuro." Gaara warned. "It's hard to stay objective in that state."

"STAY OBJECTIVE-" Kankuro's voice rose to a shriek.

"Gaara has a point." Temari added. "You've been weirdly obsessed with this theory that Shikimaru knows everything when you have literally no proof. I've seen the board you have in your room with the pictures and the red string. Aren't you a little paranoid?"

"A lit-" Kankuro stopped. Took in a deep breath. Let it out. "I'm going to my room now." He said, carefully. "And tomorrow we're going to burn this place to the ground and go back to Suna where things make sense."

The Nara compound was a small one, at least when compared to the Hyuuga or Uchiha's massive complexes. Shikimaru's mother had once tutted that it was probably because the family was too lazy to walk any further.

Nobody had ever denied it.

Shikimaru walked into his house, calmly took off his slippers, and walked into the living room. His father was already there, sat reading. "Good afternoon, son."

"Afternoon Dad."

"Your mother is currently awaiting you where she thinks you'll be; I think she intends to give you an earful." Shikaku remarked. "Your choice whether you want to face her now or plan your reasons for later."

"Thanks, Dad." Shikimaru was his father's son, through and through. He was glad that at least he wouldn't question his actions in the arena, trusting his son had a valid reason for it. Apparently his teammates and sensei would develop that level of trust in time, but it wasn't there yet. It was...bothersome, to have explanations demanded of him when he knew they wouldn't understand them. His family at least understood.

He sat down on the sofa next to his dad. "Dad...can I have some help with something?"

The man looked across. "What do you need?"

Shikimaru paused. "I've got to predict something."

Shikaku sighed, shut his book, and put it down beside him. "Alright. What do you know?"

Hinata sat on the hospital bed, staring listlessly at the wall. Unlike Sasuke she didn't have any serious injuries, but she was still beaten and bruised beyond belief. The nurses had offered her painkillers, but she had refused them. She deserved the pain.

There was a knock on the door, and before she could answer and tell it to go away, it had already opened. "Hey Hinata!" Her breathe hitched. Naruto walked in, smiling the same smile. "Are you okay?"

She didn't say anything. Didn't trust herself to.

He walked in and sat down on the other end of the bed, facing her. She looked down at her lap. "So...you're upset." He reasoned. "Figures, it was a nasty fight. Awesome, I mean, it was super cool, but nasty."

She had let out the curse mark. She had failed him.

"I get that you might be upset, because those things apparently affect your brain and make you super angry and stuff, but listen..."

She tuned him out. She knew what happened when he spoke; he'd twist around what had happened so that he could see the best in her, then reassure her that it wasn't her fault and everything would be okay. She couldn't allow herself that comfort.

What had changed?

At the start of the exam she'd been entirely willing to forfeit for Naruto's sake, in the preliminaries she'd gone to great effort to avoid opening the curse-mark.

It was the vault, she knew. The moment, trawling through what texts she had access to, she had come across mention of it. Secret techniques, it had said, inaccessible to the branch family. An upper hand over Him. And then she'd...she'd...she'd been willing to kill her teammate.

Naruto was still talking, didn't notice her fists clenching even as her eyes began to sting. She'd been willing to kill her teammate for power. She couldn't blame it on the curse mark, even before then she'd been so angry, so determined, so certain she was doing the right thing.

She was a murderess.

She was just like Him.

She was...she was a-

"Monster." She whispered the word aloud.

"And that's why you really-uh, what?" Naruto blinked and stopped talking.

She grimaced, and said it. "Monster!" Because she was. She didn't deserve him, she didn't deserve Sasuke, she didn't even deserve revenge. "I...you...monster! Just...just get out!"

She flung an arm out towards Naruto, shaking, and he retreated off the bed. For a few seconds there was hurt on his face, before it hardened into grim determination. "Alright then." He said. "If that's what you think. I...guess I'll go then." He turned and walked very sharply out of the room, slamming the door behind himself.

Only then did Hinata allow herself to cry.

Leaning against a nearby wall, Kabuto watched Naruto storm out of the room. He smiled. The snake on his shoulder hissed at him, and he chuckled aloud. "Oh, I'm certain." He told it. "If he wasn't sure from that match, he should be now." It hissed again and he shrugged, almost displacing it. "Oh, he can keep tracking them both, it would be remiss not to. But trust me. She's the one he wants."

MWAHAHAHAHA! MISUNDERSTANDINGS! THE ROOT OF ALL TRASHY CHARACTER DRAMA!

While Sasuke is feeling pretty good about himself, Hinata feels like the scum of the earth. She's not in a great place right now. Meanwhile Kankuro's emnity for Shikamaru comes to a head, and Shikamaru comes to some conclusions. How will this affect 'tomorrow''s events? By which I mean next week.

The Gaara/Naruto fight is coming up, ladies, gentlemen et al. Place your bets now!