Chapter 25: Christmastime is Near

Part of being a professional wrestler is realizing that sometimes certain sacrifices have to be made, and I've made a lot of them over the years. Marriage, children, other people's marriages and children. I've missed a lot of things in the lives of the people around me, but I would never in a million years change my life. This year, spending Christmas with my family, I was thankful to have the time with them.

When dinner was over and we got our fortune cookies, I almost choked on my water when I read the fortune. "Love is the only true adventure." I couldn't help but wonder what it meant, who it was about – was it Shane? - and how this fortune was supposed to apply to my life. I ended up placing the fortune in my wallet and we left, navigating through the snow back to Mom and Dad's. When we got home, we all changed into our Christmas pyjamas and Mom put on How the Grinch Stole Christmas. Dad started setting up the fake tree so we could start decorating.

"So I've been thinking..." I started, opening a box of blue circular ornaments. "What would you guys say if I asked Vince to put aside two tickets for WrestleMania next year? It's on the first of April. I'd love it if you guys could come out and watch. I don't know what I'm doing yet..."

"It should be fine. We have more than enough time to book the days off," Dad commented. I felt myself swell with pride, knowing that next year my parents could be seeing my very first WrestleMania. "Where is it this year?"

"Houston."

"If we go, does this mean we get to meet Shane in person?" Mom asked. I sighed. "Oh, don't get so defensive with us, Rinoa – we just want to meet him. You talk about him a lot."

"You know what I'm thinking, Cathy?" Dad asked, hanging a silver ornament.

"What's that, honey?"

"I'm thinking Rinoa's in love."

"Oh, God, can we not talk about this? I'd be willing to talk about anything else." The blush in my cheeks gave me away, however. They were both studying my expression, the way my body seemed to tighten in embarrassment.

"I think she is. Look at her," Mom observed.

"I'm not ready to talk about this."

"We are," Dad told me, and I groaned, my shoulders sagging. "So he's the boss's son?"

"Yes, which is why nothing is ever going to happen."

"And he competes?" Dad pressed. I nodded, knowing he wasn't going to drop the subject.

"Part-time. Vince kind of has him assigned to all kinds of different jobs."

"So what is his main one?" Mom asked.

"He's the Executive Vice President of Global Media. He handles all the online things and strikes distribution deals with countries here and overseas." Mom and Dad looked impressed by the information. While I talked, I continued to hang ornaments, trying to spread them out evenly.

"How did you meet him?" Dad asked.

"He sat in on my contract signing."

"He's a man of many hats, is he?" Dad inquired with a laugh. I nodded.

"He's been my lifeline since I signed my contract. I don't know where I'd be without him," I confessed, hanging a bulb on the tree. "He looks out for me, and I try to do the same for him, even though his family is all kinds of messed up."

"Has there been any new developments with his mother? I know you spoke to him earlier," Mom told me.

"There's no change."

"Poor guy must be beside himself," Mom commented. I nodded, hanging a candy cane.

"He is. Shane's really close to his mom."

"Tell me a bit about this Kurt guy. The guy you're having troubles with," Dad said. I sighed.

"Kurt gives me a bad feeling. He's one of those guys who will preach abstinence and purity and integrity, but he tries to get into the pants of every woman he thinks he has a shot with." I sighed. "He always seems to know my routes, and he latches onto me until Shane or Chris find me and get me away from him." I shook my head in disgust. "I swear, it's like he thinks that just because he has a gold medal, every woman is just going to fall at his feet."

"He really won a gold medal?" Dad asked. I nodded.

"Yeah, he won it at the '96 Olympics in Atlanta. Vince is making a huge deal about signing Kurt because he's the only gold medal wrestler that's gone pro. The guy is working all the marquee matches right now, so I'm kind of just hoping to back him off privately."

"You don't think Vince would do anything?"

"There's a hierarchy," I reminded them with a sigh. "Kurt will always draw more money than me, and at the end of the day, he's running a business. I mean, I think I get along with Vince, but I do get the feeling I'm on thin ice sometimes. Vince has been giving Shane a hard time lately about the fact that the two of us hang out together so much. Ever since the rumours made it to his ears, everything has just been brutal."

"For you?"

"Not so much for me, but for Shane." I stepped back and put my hands on my hips. My pyjamas are blue with white snowmen all over them. "Are you putting the angel or the star up top this year?"

"What do you think? You're the one home for Christmas," Dad pointed out.

"I think whoever designed the angel is a pervert," I blurted.

"Rinoa!" I shrugged at my mother.

"What? Why would you design something where you're shining a light under the skirt? Shouldn't the whole thing light up? I mean, that's a little pervy."

"She's got a point there," Dad laughed, "The star it is."

While Dad went to get the box with the star, I heard my cell phone ring. Moving past the boxes and spare silver garland, I picked it up off the end table and sat down on the love-seat, answering the phone before it went to voicemail. "Hello?"

"Hey, Noa."

"Shane?" Mom's eyes were suddenly on me.

"Were you expecting someone else?" he asked.

"No, no. Of course not! I just wasn't expecting you to call again tonight. How are you doing?"

"I'm all right. Just got back from the hospital. Dad's even got her visiting hours scheduled. I get an hour with her every day." I sighed, placing my head on my hand.

"Shane, that's awful." Dad walked back into the room. Mom mouthed to him that I was talking to Shane, and his mouth formed an "o". They were both watching me now, and I wanted to leave, but I couldn't find the willpower to get off the couch and take the conversation somewhere more private.

"She has the tree in her room now."

"How does it look?" I asked.

"Beautiful. I'll try and get a picture tomorrow while I'm there." I could hear his voice threatening to crack. I wished with everything I had inside of me that Shane could bring his mother home for Christmas, that the sedatives would wear off and she could get back to normal. I struggled to ignore the gaze of my parents and keep my focus on the phone call. "I can't believe Stephanie isn't there with you, Shane. I really can't."

"Stephanie is a Daddy's Girl, Noa. Don't be surprised if she publicly sides with him sooner rather than later, since he has all the money. I know that it sounds terrible, but that's the way it is."

"I wish there was something I could do, Shane. If you're at the World on New Years, I could bring you some of my mom's gingerbread cookies. They're super soft."

It sounded like such a stupid solution to such a huge problem, and I felt like an idiot for even suggesting it. I was relieved when Shane started laughing. It was music to my ears; I haven't heard him laugh like this in weeks. "That actually sounds great, Noa. I have to ask – how many have you had since you made it home?"

"Less than my body weight, but the holidays are still young." We shared a laugh.

"I'm sorry to harass you so much..."

"You aren't harassing me, Shane. Far from it. I wish you were here," I blurted. My parents cocked an eyebrow at that, and I clapped a hand to my forehead, feeling so unbelievably stupid for blurting that in front of them.

"I wish I was with you, too," he confessed. "I'll make sure I see you at the World."

"I'm sending all the best wishes your way."

"You, too. Goodnight, Noa."

"Goodnight, Shane." I hung up. We were all quiet for a few moments.

"You know what I think?" Mom asked. I groaned.

"Don't do this."

"I think likes you, too." I sighed.

"Mom, we're friends. That's it. Anything more than that, and I'm committing career suicide."

"We know. You've told us that at least four times tonight," Mom said, sitting down on the sofa. "Rinoa, honey, I'm going to tell you this once – if you two love each other and you make each other happy, there's nothing wrong with giving things a try."

"I'll get fired. I like my job. And if I do this, then everything I worked for evaporates. It becomes 'she slept with so and so to get here'. I busted my ass, Mom. I worked hard. Since I joined up with WWF, I've seen it happen with Hunter because of his relationship with Stephanie. Everyone who liked, respected and trusted him now look at him with suspicion. I just..." I ran a hand through my hair. "I don't think I'm strong enough to handle hearing those kinds of things about me."

"Do you hear them now?" Dad asked. I sighed.

"A bit, yeah."

"Then what's the difference if you are or you're not? Either way, people are talking," Dad said with a shrug.

"Dad..."

"Rinoa, you're in love with him." It was a flat statement, nothing accusatory about it. I sighed.

"It's so complicated." I watched Dad put the star on the tree.

"Life is complicated. But sometimes you have to take a shot. And if people don't like it, who cares? It's not their life," she told me. I stood and stretched.

"I think I'm going to turn in." I stood and stretched. They looked at me, but I scurried out of the room before they could say anything else. I didn't want to have this conversation anymore.

Walking into the middle of my bedroom, I fell face-first on the bed and groaned. I know it's obvious to everyone with a working set of eyes that there's something brewing between Shane and I, in spite of all of my denials. With a sigh, I rolled onto my back and stared up at the dark ceiling. Even in my deepest embarrassment, I found myself thinking about Shane, staying in Connecticut, sitting for an hour a day with his catatonic mother, wishing he could save her. It breaks my heart.