Chapter Twenty Five
Herschel Greene was quite easily one of the most important characters of the entire group. He was strong, perhaps not physically like Abraham, but mentally instead. He had this innate wisdom about him, this overruling knowledge and guidance that kept everyone else around him grounded. He would guide people when they lost their way, he would lead them down the right path and provide a sense of morality to those who needed it most. Herschel Greene was the compass; the leading beacon in an otherwise darkened world. He was just so good and I had always assumed him to be immortal. Surely none of the darkness could touch him? Surely he was too great for that? Now though seeing him lying on a blood-stained double cot, one leg missing and his skin paler than the white sheets he lay on, I knew my beliefs had been wrong. His eyes may have been open and he may have been consciously aware of what was around him, but taking in the state of his body - so frail and weakened - I knew now that even Herschel Greene could be broken.
I didn't get to see him straight away when he first woke up. Lilly had immediately requested that we allow him some space to recover instead of over-crowding him so only Glenn, Maggie and Rick were allowed in to see the man during the first few days of recovery. Either Bob or Lilly remained a constant nearby, ensuring that he recuperated and that he had everything he needed. If I listened hard enough, I would hear Herschel's cracked voice through the closed door of his room and the sound allowed me to breath a sigh of relief. While I may not get to see him just yet, I could be assured that he was doing alright. However, my mind would constantly remind me that this was only for now. Though I may not have gotten to see Herschel straight away, the grave expressions on Lilly's and Bob's faces told it all and when Rick was allowed in briefly to see the man, his expression when he remerged was certainly not comforting one bit. The fact that Glenn and Maggie were very much scarce now did not help a lot anyway either and it seemed that while the man was awake, he was not out of the woods just yet. At first, things were rough and there were a few countless nights where I could hear Maggie's crying voice next door and I would fear the worse. It seemed though that the woman was just letting out her grief for the whole situation as despite the uphill battle before him, Herschel Greene appeared continue battling through it. We could only hope that he would persist with this strength right the way through.
Throughout the darkened time of Herschel's recovery, the worries of a Terminus attack hung over us all like a horrible shadow. Almost immediately, some restrictions were put into place and there was a boost in the security around the apartment building. Given Herschel's state, it meant that we could not leave the area any time soon so plans were made to keep us safe while we waited. All of the downstairs windows and the front door of the building had been boarded up - a long and gruelling process - and there were a number of traps arranged around the area, curtsy of Morgan's influence. There were a couple of trip wires - one at the bottom of the first flight of stairs and another at the back door. A number of wind chimes and bells found in some scavenging were hung both inside and outside of the building to keep us alert too.
Rick was the one who insisted that from now on, no one left to building unless absolutely necessary and Daryl - being one of the other members of the council - was quick to agree with him. Other than Abraham and Elliot, there weren't any protests to this rule. The red-headed sergeant argued that he needed to continue his work on the bus while Elliot only offered that he couldn't stay cooped up in here - no doubt wanting to be outside with Rosita's grave. Each argument was abolished for their own safety and while the pair grumbled, they still abided by the rules, given the force that would be initiated against them if they even tried. While Abraham may have been a large man, I knew Rick and the Dixon brothers would not hesitate in pinning him down if needs be. Thankfully though, it never quite came to that, though there were a large amount of harsh words shared for a time.
Another extra level of security was also the positioning of watchers on the roof of the apartment building. Merle and Michonne had both suggested at first that we should scout out the area to see if we could find any traces of whoever was out there, but people were again quick to abolish that thought. Rick's argument was that we did not truly know how many were out there and right now we could not afford to get into conflict with these people while Herschel was unmoveable. It seemed safer to wait inside the building for a while - we certainly had the supplies to last so being starved out wasn't an issue. Therefore for added protection, a rota of watch shifts was set up with two people up on the roof each turn to keep an eye out in all directions. The sniper rifle - Shane's rifle, no less - that had remained a constant with me throughout more conflicts than I would like to count, was passed around each turn and Tara and Lilly's father, David, even offered up his own when his daughters told him what was happening.
It certainly was a tense period but was one that had to be endured for now. With Herschel's current state, leaving the area was out of the question. All we could do was encourage the necessary precautions and remain alert. After all the battles the group had faced, it was almost innate within us now to be so prepared for an attack. It certainly was an unnerving thought.
When my body grew strong enough and I was able to climb the fire escape up to it, I was allowed the chance to take up the roof watch duty. I did not even question it when I first got up there and after a while, I realised that it was actually quite natural to carry out this shift - it wasn't the first time I had had to do it after all. Taking watch was certainly quite a prominent part of life now for us. Each time I was paired up with Daryl, which I gathered was the man's own doing. I certainly wouldn't complain though and fell quite at ease with the hunter at my side. He insisted every time that he would take the back half of the area - where the sightings of movement had been - while I was left to cover the front where the bus was parked. After the first three of so times, I said nothing of it though after staring at the same still sights for so long, I felt myself growing quite bored.
"Wanna swap?" I called eventually, not bothering to turn around to where I knew Daryl was perched on a ventilation box, staring out across a much different set of sights than I. There were a few moments pause before I heard a grunted reply in return.
"Nah, I'm good." He threw back and I scoffed in response, tugging at the rifle strap absently as it hung over my shoulder.
"It's getting pretty tiring staring at this hideously yellow bus for so long." I muttered, loud enough so it would reach the hunter's ears. Daryl chuckled at that, but otherwise didn't answer. I let a pause settle between us before speaking again. "Any reason why we can't change places? Is there something special about that side that I ain't allowed to know about?"
"Well," Daryl began, pausing briefly. "This is the side that everyone seems to be spottin' these other people, so I'm guessin' this is the direction they're based at." I frowned at that, aware of his logic but still confused.
"And that explains us not swapping, how?" The hunter chuckled once more.
"I've got the better set of eyes so it makes sense that I'm watchin' this side." He replied, lightly. Another pause. "Ya may be pretty slick with that sniper, girl, but ya ain't the most observant." At his comment, I spun in his direction, mouth open ready to throw a retort back about my observation skills. The small cloud of smoke that surrounded the man on his perch however, drew different words from my lips.
"Are you smoking?!" Daryl glanced over his shoulder instantly, the cigarette hanging between his lips. With a quirk of his mouth, the man pointed silently back towards the direction I was supposed to be staring out towards and with a burrowed frown, I obliged to his silent command. "Where the hell did you find them?"
"Had 'em a while." He admitted, taking another pause which I knew now was so he could take a drag. "Since Morgan's actually. Picked 'em up at that supermarket that you, me 'nd Merle visited." And destroyed.
"For that long?" Daryl hummed his confirmation.
"Only got a few left so I'm keepin' 'em for special occasions. When I really need 'em, y'know? Never sure when I'd find anymore after all." I paused, letting this information settle for a second before breaking the silence between us once more. Absently, I unhooked the rifle from my shoulder so I could take a moment to stare down the scope at the far end of the block we were on. The sight of a couple of staggering walkers made me sigh wearily.
"What's so special about this occasions then?" I eventually asked, keeping my tone light. "What makes this a fag moment?" The pause between the answer this time was much longer than before and I was half-tempted to turn around to check that the hunter was even still there.
"Just thinkin' 'bout stuff." Daryl replied finally and I slowly lowered the rifle as I considered this. His tone was far too low to be jesting anymore. I swallowed thickly.
"What stuff?" I thought briefly how stupid the question actually was - of course there was plenty of things that the man could be thinking about. Terminus, Rosita, Herschel, Washington, what the hell we were going to do about whoever was out there watching us right now - there were a large number of possibilities in fact. I was therefore quite surprised when Daryl did eventually reply as it certainly was not something I was expecting.
"Us." He muttered, sounding quite unsure with his admittance. At first I thought he meant us as a group - the others below included. Though after a few considerable moments of somewhat tense silence, I knew that the meaning of us was much more personal. Suddenly, I felt my heart pick up a little uncertainly.
"Is there something wrong with us?" I asked, worried that the man was having more of his jealous spouts or that he was rethinking some things about our - admittedly unconventional - relationship. I knew my tone was clearly showing of what I was feeling as Daryl was suddenly quite quick to answer.
"No, no, there ain't anything wrong." Another pause. "Just thinkin' 'bout what we said before Terminus. Y'know 'bout spendin' more time with each other 'nd all that?" I knew what he conversation was talking about, nodding briefly to myself despite the man probably not looking.
"I'm not sure if it's the best time for you to start teaching me how to hunt, Daryl, if that's what you're thinking about." I added, gently, considering our promise to one another about trying to sort things out between us. Spending more time with just each other - or Daryl teaching me how to hunt - had been the first suggestion.
"Yeah, I know. That weren't what I was meanin' though." There was something bumbling in his tone that immediately made me realise how awkward the hunter was feeling right now. Awkward about admitting what was on his mind? Glancing back briefly, I watched as the man ran a hand through his hair wearily and even at a distance away, I could still make out how shaky his hands were. I looked aware before Daryl could catch me looking. "I err- I was speakin' to Rick 'bout some things, 'bout some ideas 'nd all that. He's better with all this shit than me-" Immediately a smile came to my face when I realised when the man was implying here.
"You went to Rick for some love advice?" I quickly asked, not even stopping to think what the word "love" might do to him. I continued smiling at the thought of the implication though - Daryl Dixon attempting to ask relationship advice from Rick Grimes, the man he was - hopefully - formerly jealous of. Of course though, the thought of him asking his brother, Merle, was certainly something even more absurd.
"Whatever, man. I ain't got a fuckin' clue what I'm doin'." Daryl muttered in return, sounding rather unhappy about it and only succeeded in making me grin further. "He was the one who started the damn conversation anyway, said he just wanted to help 'nd all that. He told me that maybe to stop my err-" A grated pause as Daryl cleared his throat. "My jealousy, then maybe I should change a few things. Do something different." Another pause which was soon followed by a long drawn out sigh. "Rick said it helped things with him 'nd Lori to sometimes do things a little adventurous." I felt my eyebrows quickly raise at that and glancing over my shoulder once more, I saw a very unhappy expression on the hunter's newly blushing face.
"Adventurous?" I repeated, smirking to myself in a very Merle-like way. Daryl's head quickly spun in my direction then and he scowled when he caught me looking. With a frustrated jab, he pointed back to the way I was supposed to be looking and I obliged with a large grin still on my face. "So what were you planning to do then?" Daryl sighed again.
"Dunno, that's why I'm smokin'." I scoffed and instead of responding, I let the silence simmer between us. I knew further teasing would no doubt frustrate the man further too and return back to whatever ball of emotions he was currently feeling. It seemed best to allow Daryl his chance to think while I in turn let my thoughts whirl dangerously at all the prospects. What in the world would Daryl Dixon do to be adventurous? "Do ya want one?" The hunter's voice was the one to break the silence. I inclined my head briefly towards him. He held up the cigarette between his fingers. Immediately, I shook my head.
"No thank you; I don't smoke." I smiled and Daryl nodded absently before looking away. I did the same.
"Didn't know that." He murmured after a while, his voice strangely thoughtful. I chuckled in response.
"I suppose there are quite a few things you don't know about me, Mister Dixon." I sent one last smile the man's way, only receiving the same thoughtful expression in response. When Daryl did finally turn back to look across his designated area, I watched for a moment as the man took a drag from his cigarette with his eyebrows burrowed low. He was thinking hard about something and given the nature of his previous admittance, I was unsure if I really wanted to question him right now. Instead, I let the conversation die for a while and instead turned my focus back to the strikingly yellow school bus before me, sighing quietly as I remembered how bored I previously was with the view.
When I finally did get the chance to visit Herschel, it was during one of the few times where Maggie left his side. I was passing by his room one day on my way to my own shared one when suddenly the Greene girl appeared in the open doorway, a soft expression on her face when she saw me. I strained a smile in greeting, still unsure of the woman, her father's prone form just about visible behind her.
"Hey Ruby." Maggie murmured, voice quiet. The rest of the group were spread out across the apartment building currently, checking traps and the security measures we had set in place. I was one of the lucky few who was allowed to remain in the apartment. "I err- you couldn't do me a favour, could you?" I raised an eyebrow, surprised. "You couldn't sit with Daddy for me a little while? I err- I just need to-" She trailed off, waving her hand a little in an absent manner and I forced a smile, nodding so she didn't have to continue struggling.
"Yeah, of course." With one quick glance behind her, the Greene girl finally moved aside and left my side, heading out towards the main door of the apartment. I took a moment to watch the woman leave before I quickly turned my attention back to the job I was left with. After taking a deep breath, I made my way inside the room.
Herschel was sleeping, I realised, as I sat myself down on the chair I had seen Maggie occupying constantly throughout the time she would sit with her father. The ragged rise and fall of his chest was somewhat comforting but when I let eyes wander down to the wrapped up stump just about visible beneath the sheets, I swallowed back the bile that threatened my throat. I had seen many of my friends and family die before me, I had seen a lot of horrible things in this world that I wished I could undo - and the sight of Herschel's fighting body would surely be another dark memory etched into my brain. With a shaky hand, I reached out to carefully take the old man's hand that lay palm down against the cot, surprised by how cold his fingers were against mine. I took a moment then to consider the callouses on his skin, the rough touch of them against mine. Bravely, I gave Herschel's fingers a quick squeeze between my own and was quite startled when a few seconds later, his hand squeezed back. Looking back up at the man's face, I was even more shocked to find Herschel's eyes open and fixed on me.
"Hello, dear." Despite the obvious pain the man seemed to be feeling, his voice still came out as soft and as calming as I was used to and I found myself straining a rather watery smile as I took the sight of his own in. Even in his weakened state, he still tried to smile in a way that was comforting for others - for me. That thought and consideration for others that the man had made me ache."It's very good to see you again."
"It's good to see you too." I murmured back, not even wanting to think about how long it had been now since I had properly spoken to the old man - the last time I had, Herschel had two legs and the group was a lot less broken than it was right now. Oh, how times have changed. "You're looking-" Well? Better? Swallowing harshly, I realised that there weren't many fitting words to describe how Herschel was looking right now and judging by his expression, he understood my struggle.
"I've felt worse." Herschel told me then, smiling, and while I smiled back I was unsure if the man was actually telling me the truth. "Are you alright?" I breathed a chuckle at that, unsurprised by his ask of my well-being, regardless of his own condition. Slowly, I nodded and touched the side where my bullet wound was healing quite nicely. Herschel's gaze followed the movement, understanding in his expression and I gathered Maggie or Glenn must have told him what had happened.
"I've felt worse." I repeated his own words back at him, Herschel humming what I suspected was a chuckle in response. "Everyone else is fine too."
"Everyone except Rosita." Herschel murmured softly, sadness evident in his features. In turn, I felt a shift in myself and I sighed wearily, nodding. "I saw what happened to her - before I fell unconscious." I raised my gaze at that, a little surprised by his admission and fighting a grimace at what had made the man fall unconscious that day. I couldn't even bear to consider the pain and torment he must have felt that day. There was a thoughtful expression on the old farmer's face for a moment and I studied him carefully as his no doubt relived those moments before Rosita died. With my own memories of her bloodied body and Elliot's resounding cries, I swallowed back the thickness in my throat as I waited. Finally, Herschel let out a quiet exhale. "Brave girl." With tears threatening to break, I found myself nodding slowly, gripping Herschel's hand in mine like it was my only lifeline. It was good to see Herschel awake and apparently well, but the horrors of that day were still fresh in my mind. Judging by the old farmer's face, they were for him too.
"Yeah she was."
I only spent a little time in Herschel's company then, Maggie quickly reappearing again with Lilly at her heels with an expression on her face that made me rise from her chair. Herschel insisted that I stay a little longer but Lilly responded that it was time to redress his leg's bandage and met my eyes meaningfully. That was certainly not something that I wished to see. After giving Herschel's hand one last squeeze, I moved aside so Maggie could take my place and I made my exit out the room quietly, sending one last smile at Herschel before closing the door to the bedroom. Tara's lingering presence outside the room was not surprising but I still found myself a little startled to run straight into the woman as soon as I took a step out.
"Woops, sorry!" Tara quickly apologised, gripping my arms to ease me steady, my balance going briefly at the movement of walking into her. The wound in my side strained a little and I was thankful for Tara's presence then as I quickly feared a dizzy spell at the disorientation. Once I had regained myself, I smiled my thanks to the woman. "I didn't expect you to come out - sorry, I shouldn't have been standing in the way." I waved a hand at her apology, running my side absently as I made my way over the couch in the living room to sit down a moment. Tara quickly followed, a little concern in her features.
"Don't worry about it." I muttered, taking a moment to gather myself before zoning in on Tara's lingering figure. The woman had softened quite considerable over the course of our lodging and had slowly but surely warmed to us all. Of course, that didn't stop the occasional spat that she had with Abraham or Merle but Tara had certainly stopped her untrusting attitude towards us now. She had even volunteered herself up for a few of the watch duties, which had been rather surprising, and proved to be quite an admiral member of the group. All this behaviour also further affirmed hers and her sister's desire to join us to Washington when the group eventually got moving again. "I'm guessing everyone else is still out checking security?" Tara nodded, perching herself on the arm of a chair.
"Yeah, they're outside scouting the perimeter at the moment, I think." She offered, easily. "I was up on roof duty just now so that's why I ain't out there helping them. Michonne and I have just and so been relieved by Glenn and Bob." I smiled, nodding at this piece of information. "How come you ain't helping?" Her words weren't defensive or accusing, merely curious.
"Too many hands." I replied. "Plus, I think they thought I might be a bit of a burden wandering around out there with my side and all that. I was told to just get some rest."
"By your boyfriend?" At her quick remark, I raised an eyebrow in slight surprise. After studying my expression, Tara quickly stuttered on. "Sorry, I just assumed, you know. There ain't anything wrong with it, I was just-" I smirked lightly, shaking my head at her babbling before sighing.
"By both him and Rick told me to stay. If I had gone, I would have unbalanced the numbers out anyway. They're out in pairs, I think, and with me it would have been uneven." I shrugged. "It doesn't matter, I don't mind." Tara nodded at that, falling silent for a moment as she stared down at the floor. I considered her thoughtful expression then, wondering briefly what she must have been thinking about before I braved speaking once more. "How's your father doing?" Immediately, the woman's gaze shot up at that and her features hardened quite rapidly.
"He's fine." She replied, curtly, though judging by the quickness of her response, I knew things was far from fine. I attempted to soften my gaze, hoping that the woman would see that I did not mean any harm by my questioning. After a few moments, I was glad to see Tara's expression soften too before she sighed quietly. "Lilly says he's getting worse by the day. Dad keeps insisting he's alright, keeps fighting against it, but-" She trailed off and shook her head once. "We dunno how much time he's got." While she kept a brave face up, I could still detect the sadness behind her mask. I felt a wave of sympathy wash over me in response to what Tara and her family were going through and weakly braved a smile.
"You know, we're all here if you need anything." I murmured, unsure really what else I could offer. "I mean it. You and your family have done a lot for us and we would return the favour if you asked." Tara nodded her head at that, bowing it slightly so she could stare down at her hands as she inspected her fingertips - an apparent casual gesture.
"It's kinda weird, y'know; seeing so many people all the once. We've been so used to being by ourselves for so long that I kinda forget what people are like. The ones that aren't trying to eat us, of course." Tara paused then, her forehead creasing slightly. "I know I was a bit of a jackass when you guys first came here, but I was only doing it to protect my family. Now though-" The woman raised her gaze and offered me another smile. "Well, I think you guys are pretty cool." I found myself chuckling at that.
"You guys are cool too." There was a brief moment of silence then for a while as we each lost ourselves in our own thoughts for a while. Vaguely, I could hear the quiet chatter of Lilly's soft tones coming from inside Herschel's room and I found myself listening contently for a moment, thinking about my brief interaction with Herschel earlier. Seeing the man speaking and smiling again was certainly something to be relieved about, even if there was the overhanging dread in the air.
"So, err-" Tara interrupted my thoughts then and I turned back to her, just in time to see her face change it that of cool indifference. "So you guys will be moving again then once the old man is better, huh?" I kept at bay the smile of amusement that threatened to break then, fully aware what the woman was getting at with her question. Daryl and Rick's warnings had given me a pretty good heads up.
"Yeah I guess so. Once Herschel is stronger and Abraham gets that school bus up and running, we'll be back on the road once more." I replied, easily.
"On the road to Washington?" I nodded slowly at that, studying the woman's reaction as she considered this. When she spoke again, Tara spoke off-handily. "I've never been to DC. Lilly has, but I never really had the chance to. I guess it would be pretty cool to it - even cooler just to leave this damn town." I smiled lightly at that, taking in the somewhat awkward glances sent my way before finally sighing.
"I'm sure if you and your family wished to, you could come with us when we leave. You'd have to ask our council but I can't see why it would be a problem." When Tara immediately grinned, I found myself chuckling to myself, glad at least to see such a genuine display of happiness for a change.
Daryl informed me later that Tara had approached him on the subject and had, rather bluntly, asked for his permission for her and her family to join us on the way to DC. Like myself, Daryl had told the woman that it shouldn't be a problem but told her he'd have to speak with Rick and Abraham to make sure. When he brought it up with them both during dinner, Abraham merely grunted at the suggestion and shrugged his indifference. Seemingly, he did not care whether or not they did join us to Washington, his mood remaining rather constantly foul. Rick on the other hand was much more amicable and opened the suggestion up to the whole group, which was quickly resounding that everyone was more than happy that they came with us if they wanted to. Case closed.
At the suggestion that Meghan and her family might be joining us to DC., I saw quite a spark of happiness light up Sophia's spirit. It was clear to anyone that the pair had taken quite a likening to each other and given the current difficult time that Sophia appeared to be having with herself, I was glad that she could at least find some solace with Meghan's friendship. Her friendship with Carl appeared to have been pushed aside a little too in the process as their interactions began to grow quite less frequent than usual, the pair of them only really seeing each other in the evenings. This was the only time I ever really saw Sophia too, however, given that I was either up on the roof for watch duty or Sophia was away in next door's apartment with Meghan. It was certainly quite strange to be without her presence for so long and after a while, I grew quite restless without her company.
I had just finished my watch duty with Daryl one day, the pair of us making our way down the stairs back to the group's apartment, when I found myself strangely drawn towards the door opposite our own. Inside, I could vaguely hear the chatter of voices within and when I recognised Sophia's, my pace stopped. Daryl had already made his way inside our apartment at this point and paused briefly when he noticed I wasn't following him. He didn't return to my side though and instead met my gaze with a quizzical eyebrow. I nodded once towards the door that led into Lilly's family's apartment and getting the message, Daryl's lips quirked up once. When the man had closed the door, leaving me standing out alone in the corridor, I braved knocking on the other door. I allowed a brief pause before twisting the handle and inching inside.
My attention was immediately drawn to the left of the room towards where the quiet chatter caught my ears. The sight of two young girls seated on the floor opposite each other was what I was met with and I smiled widely when Sophia sent me a grin. Out the corner of my eye, I noticed another figure entering the room then from the bedroom in the back.
"Hello Ruby." Lilly greeted, politely, smiling warmly in greeting. Slowly, I closed the front door behind me. "Is everything alright?" I nodded quickly.
"Yeah, everything's fine. I just came to-" I trailed off then, glancing once towards the girls again and back to Lilly. Her smile turned knowing then and she nodded with understanding.
"Well, I was just on my way over to check on Herschel actually though you're more than welcome to stay here, if you like." I was grateful for her suggestion and said nothing in response, instead slowly making my way over to the couch that the two girls sat on the floor before. After gathering a pile of clothes up in her arms, Lilly came over and leant down to kiss her daughter lightly on the head before making her way over to the front door. "I'll be back soon." Meghan watched her mother leave silently, not saying a word as Lilly sent her a wave before closing the door behind her. Once she had gone, Meghan's eyes suddenly swung around to me and before I could offer the little girl a smile, she had quickly ducked her gaze.
"What are you two playing?" I asked, tilting my head a little to study the game that was set before them both. Again, Meghan's gaze glanced nervously up in my direction but Sophia was the one who eventually answered.
"Backgammon." She told me, turning to look up at me briefly before returning to her game. I raised an eyebrow at that before chuckling to myself.
"My sister and I used to play that all the time when we went to visit our grandparents. That and chess."
"I don't know how to play chess. Do you have a chess board, Meghan?" Sophia asked, thoughtfully, and the girl before her shook her head without a word. After a moment, Sophia turned to me again. "If we found one, could you teach me?" I immediately nodded.
"Of course." When Sophia looked away, looking quite pleased with the promise, I then turned my attention to the girl opposite her. I couldn't help but notice how the young girl was actively avoiding my gaze now and I frowned thoughtfully. "Can you play chess, Meghan?" I tried, softly, watching how her eyes widened as she looked up at me. Still though, she didn't speak.
"She doesn't really like talking to the grown-ups." Sophia suddenly, provided, allowing Meghan the chance to duck her gaze again. I nodded slowly at that, not sure what to make of her immense shyness but deciding against pushing her further.
"It's alright, sometimes I don't really like talking to the other grown-ups too." I was able to offer Meghan a smile the next time she looked at me and was quite surprised when she offered a tiny one in return.
I continued to watch the pair play for a little longer, fully aware that Meghan's muteness was completely due to my presence and despite Sophia's attempts to keep things comfortable, I knew I was slowly out-staying my welcome. Satisfied with the company Sophia was keeping, I decided to allow the pair be and slowly rose to my feet, patting Sophia's pony-tailed head as I did. When I told her I was going to leave them to it, the girl asked if I wanted to play a game of backgammon before I did, but one look at Meghan's nervous self had me shaking my head. They were content enough in each other's company and I was happy to leave them both be as they played their games. Who was I to interrupt after all? Before I could make my way towards the front door to the apartment though, a rather throaty cough from the back room caught my attention and I looked to the closed door with a frown. Putting the pieces together in my head, I quickly worked out that Tara and Lilly's father, David, must have been in the back bedroom and I found myself frowning with thought as I considered the man. I had seen him only a handful of times, never really speaking to him as it was always in the presence of his daughters. There was little known about David Chambler, other than the fact that he was Tara and Lilly's father, Meghan's grandfather, worked for Gorbelli as a truck driver and was dying of stage 4 lung cancer. The fact that we had all been lodging in his home for weeks now without scarcely even seeing him or speaking to him was rather strange to consider.
"Meghan," I breathed then, glancing back at the two girls. "Is it alright if I go and visit your grandfather for a moment?" Without answering me verbally, Meghan instead nodded and I smiled once more at the pair before making my way towards the back bedroom. Their chatter became quiet then and I heard only the essence of whispers come from Meghan's voice as she braved talking now. I found myself smiling faintly though when I head Sophia whisper in return to whatever question Meghan had asked; "that's Ruby, she's really nice. She takes care of me". I had reached the door to the bedroom when I heard Meghan then say; "I though she was your Mom" and while I wished I could stop and listen to Sophia's reply to that, I knew the girls would then know I'd heard and instead turned my attention back to the door before me. Gently, I knocked and repeated the same procedure I had at the front door by waiting a moment before twisting the handle and going in.
The room I walked into then was a similar lay out to the room Herschel was lodging in back in our apartment and I let my eyes wander briefly over the few items that were dotted around the room before finally zoning in on the large double cot. I quickly recognised Lilly and Tara's father's form lying beneath the sheets, a book in the man's hands and his eyes fixed on me. There was a slight frown on his aged face and with a slightly nervous smile, I closed the door behind me before turning to fully face him.
"Hello." He murmured, a little uncertainly, and I was quite surprised to find that his voice came out a lot stronger than I ever imagined it to. The oxygen tank that sat beside the bed drew my attention briefly before I took a quick breath and smiled wider.
"Hello, I'm Ruby. I don't think I've properly introduced myself yet-"
"You're one of the new folks, ain't you?" David cut in, abruptly. I paused before nodding, inching closer to the cot. "I thought I recognised you, though there's so damn many of you, it's hard to tell." I cracked a smile at that, glad that there didn't appear to be any hostility in his words. Slowly, he lowered the book he had been reading and though I couldn't read the title, the images on the front made me realise it was something to do with the military.
"I do hope we haven't been an intrusion on you and your family. We are very grateful for you letting us stay for so long." I offered sincerely and David shrugged, though I could tell his body shuddered at the movement.
"My girls tell me you're nice people." He muttered then. "As long as you're clean and respectful, I don't see the problem." I let out a brief chuckle at that, knowing that the current state of the apartment we were lodging in right now was something left to be desired but knew that David didn't need to know that. "I've spoken to one of your guys already actually - a real skinny one with a beard, he used to be a sheriff he told me. I can't for the life of me remember his name-"
"Rick?" I offered, a little surprised to hear that the ex-sheriff had come to visit the man at first before thinking on it a little and realising that it was exactly something I had actually expected him to do. I found myself smiling at the thought.
"Yeah that's the one. He's a real nice guy - is he your leader?" I merely nodded at that, not quite finding the energy to explain the whole "council" situation we had going on in our group. "I can imagine he made a good cop in his time; he's got all the talk for it. My Tara wanted to be a cop too, you know? Got herself enrolled in the academy and everything. She didn't quite get to finish it though, but I know she would have been great." I smiled absently at that, recalling Tara's own words to us that very first day about how she was "Atlanta City Police" - a ploy, it seems, to scare us. While she may have over-calculated her role, I knew I wasn't about to sound her out to the others.
"And Lilly's a nurse too; you must be really proud." I observed, smiling kindly. David hummed at that, nodding slowly and staring off in a proud-like way that I could recall my own father doing once upon a time. It made me ache slightly but also made me happy - it was nice to see in the current state of the world.
"No, my girls ain't done half bad really. Especially given they had to deal with this sorry truck driver over here!" David chortled, wheezing a little as he did that made me inch forward with concern. Quickly though, the old man raised his hand. "I'm alright, lass, don't worry about me." After he had recovered from his coughing spell, the man sighed deeply and leant back against the propped him pillows he had behind him. Turning his head towards me then, David studied me a moment. With a wave of his hand, he gestured to the chair at his bedside and I didn't hesitate before sitting down. "I don't get visitors other than the girls - it's nice to see a new face for a change." I beamed at that.
"I couldn't agree more!" I nodded, folding my legs and resting an arm against the arm rest. "And I thought it was the least I could do, after all your family has done for us." David attempted a grin at that, looking up towards the ceiling briefly.
"They're good girls." He mused then, quietly. "Lilly would help anyone and everyone - always has and always will. My late wife and I always knew she would end up as a nurse or something similar. She's just always been the kind of girl to care and look after others." I listened silently, aware that as the man hadn't really been around people for a long time, that it was probably nice for him to speak with someone new for a change. It was nice, I decided, to hear him speak about his daughter in such a manner.
"I can see that." I offered then before patting my side lightly. "She's helped me out more than I can ever repay." David glanced down at my side then before nodding once.
"You're the lady that was shot, I presume?" I nodded my confirmation and David then moved to pull at the collar of his shirt. I watched on wordlessly for a moment, unsure what his motives were and unsure whether I should help, before the wheezing man eventually pulled back his shirt far enough so I could make out the rather large scar right above his heart. My eyes widened at the sight of it and I couldn't help but lean in closer then to inspect it further. It was quite dangerously positioned and the sheer size of it made me wheeze a little before I raised an eyebrow in question. David chuckled at my expression. "I was shot in combat during my time in the war - this nasty bastard was almost the killer blow, but managed to miss by about an inch. The Doc at the time said I was lucky to be alive. That being said, it weren't the best of experiences though, I must say."
"No," I agreed, patting my side again. "I will agree with that too. Mine came from a douse of bad luck and an unfortunately lucky sniper." As I considered it though, I realised it was probably more good luck in fact - it could have been fatal; it could have hit Sophia. "Things could have gone a lot worse though, I guess." David grinned at that.
"They always can." A pause then as the man's words sunk in for a moment. Vaguely, I could hear the girlish chatter from Sophia and Meghan in the next room and the sound made me smile fondly again as I could imagine them playing another round of backgammon together. It was nice, I realised, to see Sophia playing games once more - especially after all the changes she was currently going through, all the internal hardships she was facing. At least right now she had the chance to be a kid again for a while. "So, where are you from then, lass? I guess not from round here."
"From the other side of Atlanta actually, further south." David hummed with thought at that.
"Tara went to the police academy in Atlanta - she was always the more city-slick kinda girl compared to the rest of us." He nodded, pausing briefly. "Your whole group from there too?"
"Not all of us." I shook my head. "Others come from even further south - we met them on their way up north to DC. That's where we're currently heading now actually." David raised an eyebrow at that.
"What's in Washington? I would have thought the cities would have been the worst places to go right now." His words made me realise for a moment how long David and his family had actually been cooped up inside their apartment building - their bubble - and I smiled weakly at him before sighing.
"At the start of the outbreak they were, but now that a lot of time has passed - a lot of the dead have been starved out or weakened over the winter months - the cities are safer to go." I admitted to him, not sure if I felt the need to go into much detail about Eugene or Elliot right now. If his daughters hadn't told him about it, then I sure as hell didn't think it was my place to do so. Especially not in his current condition.
"Makes sense, I guess." David murmured then. "Have you and your group been out there all this time?" I hesitated at that question, thinking back at all the places I had been to during my time in the outbreak. Swallowing thickly, I realised that explaining even just my own experiences was hard enough, never mind the rest of the group, and instead chose for a simple answer of "yes". The man was unsurprisingly shocked by this but made no comment on the matter, instead choosing to consider this over for a moment to himself. In the silence, I caught the giggles from the two girls next door during one of their games and when David's lips twitched with a smile upon hearing it too, I decided to push the topic.
"You know, Sophia - our girl - has taken quite a shine to Meghan." I commented then, watching as a light quickly went on behind the man's eyes at the mention of his granddaughter. "She's a very lovely girl, I must say."
"She takes after her mother." David breathed, eyes still shining.
David spoke for a while then about his granddaughter, about the games he used to play with her before he grew too weak to leave the bedroom, and about how he used to take her fishing with him at the weekend when he was off work. I could tell he and Meghan had a rather special bond and the glow in the man's expression as he spoke was enough to keep me smiling. It was when he moved on to telling me about the start of the outbreak - how he had to round up all his girls and bring them to this building - when things turned a little darker.
"It was something I needed to do, you know?" He murmured, almost to himself more than me. "It was like instinct - forget all my own needs; the girls were priority."
"It's what you do for those you love." I added then, tilting my head a little as I studied the man. "You take care of those you love." David was silent for a long time then, not looking at me as he thought over my words. I didn't push the man and instead remained silent too as I waited for him to eventually respond.
"When my girls were born, that's when I finally figured out what it was to be a man - you know a real man." He began slowly and again, I kept quiet. "You protect them, you keep them safe. You just try to make them stronger until they can look out for themselves. But this here, I- I never counted on this." David sighed tiredly at that and I took a moment to consider the man, taking in how tired he truly looked. I could see the wariness upon his features, the touch of dying strength in his eyes. Despite his exterior, despite his strong words; David was feeling weak and despite not knowing the man it certainly was hard to see. When he turned to me after a pause, his gaze probing and thoughtful, I forced a welcoming smile, unsure what he was thinking. "Tell me, have you got a man to keep you safe? To protect you from what's out there?"
Of course, an immediate face came to mind at that and I felt my throat dry slightly at the penetrating nature of David's gaze. I thought of Daryl then, of all he had done for me; for Sophia; for everyone. I owed the man a lot more than just my life and it was a lifetime worth of debt that I knew I could never repay. I'm sure in the swing of all things though, Daryl probably wouldn't want to be repaid because that was simply the man he was. He took care of those around him, without expecting anything in return.
"I do have someone." I murmured eventually, my voice coming out a lot weaker than I wanted it to. "But he's not there to protect me - I can do that just fine on my own. I can take care of myself just fine without a man's help; I've survived long enough on my own. He's there because I love him and-" A hesitant pause as I considered it briefly. "And I think he loves me." David barked a laugh at that, taking in my attempt of defiance with an almost knowing look.
"You remind me of Tara." He nodded, turning away before sighing deeply. Another wave of thoughtfulness came over the man. "She could always take care of herself, never needed my help." The worry in the man's expression was clear to see - worry for his girls. I didn't need to ask to know that David knew his fate full well and the thought saddened me slightly, especially after the short time I had spent with him. Death was never fair and I twitched uncomfortably for a moment in my seat, wondering what in the world I could say to make things better before eventually deciding just to say the first thing that came to mind.
"Your girls are all strong, David. They will be fine." I offered, smiling when he looked my way again. "You shouldn't worry." David studied me silently for a moment then before eventually letting out a short breath, smiling weakly in return.
"I'm a parent - it's what we do, right?"
I didn't answer the man and soon enough, my conversation with David Chambler came to a close. When his daughter, Lilly returned from her check-up of Herschel, she looked very much surprised to see me sat with her father but smiled quite happily after recovering. Deciding that I had intruded long enough, I took my leave and thanked the old man for his company, which was a sentiment he returned. Not missing the rather thankful expression Lilly sent me as I rose from my chair and made my way towards the door, I sent David one last smile before making my way out the room.
Bitterly, I couldn't help but wonder to myself whether that would be the first and last time I would ever get to speak with the man and somewhere in my stomach, I knew this to be true.
Having always taken watch duty with Daryl, I was surprised when day that it was in fact Elliot who joined me on the roof for the shift change over. He said nothing in response to my questionable expression when he appeared on the rooftop beside me one day and instead took the rifle that Merle out-stretched to him without a word. I took the one that Michonne offered to me with equal silence, though quickly shared a frown with the pair of them before they left Elliot and I to it, making their way down the fire escape. It was only when a door somewhere below closed that Elliot turned to face me.
"Which side you gonna take?" I didn't answer the younger man straight away and instead glanced down at the rifle resting quite dangerously in his arms. Swallowing thickly, I jutted my head towards the back end of the building. Elliot nodded and without a word, headed toward the front to get himself into position. Still frowning, I clambered onto the ventilation box to take up my perch, still a little in shock by Elliot's presence.
As he hadn't been allowed to go outside and visit Rosita's grave, Elliot had taken to either isolating himself or unquestioningly carrying out whatever duty one of the other men gave to him. He was almost drone-like at the moment, going about day to day without a real meaning anymore, without any spark of life. It certainly was sad to see and there had been countless times that I had seen Abraham watching the younger man with an expression of concern but from what I could gather, the red-head hadn't braved speaking with Elliot just yet. He seemed to be heading in that direction however and I could only hope - for both their sakes - that it would be soon.
For the first hour of watch duty, neither of us spoke and though I would keep glancing back at Elliot to make sure he hadn't fallen off the roof or anything, I otherwise kept myself focused. There had never been an occurrence yet on watch duty where someone had spotted anything other than a walker. This was, of course, a good thing but it didn't make anyone any less wary. There was no way anyone was going to drop any cautions just yet, especially not considering our current vulnerability. It certainly was a worrying time but we all just had to remain strong and focused - we would get through it, we always did.
"Sophia keeps asking me to play backgammon with her and her new friend." A voice suddenly called out then and it took me a few moments to realise it came from Elliot. A little shocked to hear him actually speaking, I found myself unable to say anything in response. "I've told her that I have no idea how to play - never even heard of the damn game before - but she's quite persistent." I smiled at that, finding that despite Elliot's blank tone, the fact that he was even speaking made me more than happy to hear.
"It's seems to be a favourite with her and Meghan. Lilly was telling me they always play it when Sophia goes over." I confessed, pausing for a moment. "How in the world have you never heard of backgammon?"
"It sounds like an old person's game, something I can imagine my grandpa playing." Elliot returned. "I am only twenty, remember."
"Well I was playing it back when I was your age, so that isn't an excuse." I said, lightly, hoping to keep the conversation going for as long as I could. I didn't know how many chances I'd ever get to speaking with Elliot again before he went back into his bubble, after all. "Please tell me you know what chess is."
"Of course I know what chess is." A pause. "Is it the same of Wizard Chess, like the game in Harry Potter?" I turned to the young man, incredulously, half-ready to berate his ignorance on the topic and was further surprised when I was met with the grinning face of Elliot. He was smiling.
It felt as if it had been far too long since I had seen that cheeky grin I had found myself growing far too used to; the mischievous smirk that could put Merle's to shame. Elliot had always been a happy sort of fellow, one so full of bounding happiness and had a smile for almost every occasion. It had been ages since I had seen Elliot smile again and the sight of it now certainly had me faltering. After having watched for so long as the young man withered away under his own grief, to see such an expression of amusement was certainly something to behold. It didn't quite reach his eyes, there still a hint of sadness to be detected there, but I was glad that it was there at least. It was a start, after all.
After a few seconds, Elliot's grin faltered a little and he turned away back to stare out across his side. I did the same, though felt a strange weight in my chest as I considered what had happened.
"Why don't you take up Sophia's offer? I'm sure she'd be more than happy to teach you how to play." I asked, softly. "I know she'd like it if you did." Even from a distance away, I heard the younger man sigh.
"It's easier not to." He muttered in return, his words holding weight to them.
"Yes, but the easier option is not necessary the one that's going to make you feel better. It's not necessarily the one that's going to help." There was a pause then and I realised that Elliot must have been considering my words. I quickly took the opportunity to continue. "I'm not trying to pressure you at all, but I know that if you did join her, Sophia wouldn't pry. She wouldn't pity you or ask you what's wrong; she'd just be normal." A sigh. "And maybe a bit of normal would do you some good?" There was another, much longer, drawn out pause then and I let the air settle for a moment as Elliot took it all in. There was no point pushing too much on him in one go, so I instead bid myself to keep silent as I stared out across the area around me.
"Maybe." Elliot eventually murmured, his voice as uncertain as I imagined him feeling. "I wouldn't want to intrude-"
"Elliot, you wouldn't." I quickly said, abolishing his worries. "Sophia would be more than happy for you to join her."
"Even if I've been ignoring everyone for the past few weeks?" Things went silent for a moment then and chewed my lip thoughtfully for a moment as I considered what to say.
"Nobody is holding that against you-"
"It still doesn't make it right." Elliot's remark was cutting and quick, though wasn't as harsh as I had expected it to be. Eventually, the man sighed. "I'm sorry - for everything." I shook my head.
"You don't need to apologise for anything, Elliot." I breathed, gently, wanting with every ounce of my being for him to believe my words. His lack of response however certainly wasn't comforting. "The others wouldn't expect you to apologise either. You've done nothing to say sorry for."
"Haven't I?" Elliot countered, carrying on before I had the chance to answer. "You know, I'm surprised that no one's tried to sit me down to talk about it yet." It, it seemed like such a harsh generalisation.
"Well," I began, carefully. "I didn't want to pry or push you into anything you didn't want to talk about. Though, if you want to talk about anything then I'm here." A pause.
"Talk about what?" I shrugged then, despite the man probably not looking at me.
"Anything you want to talk about." Elliot didn't answer me straight away again and I let the silence simmer once more as the younger man considered my offer. It was quite strange how quickly the conversation had turned around, but again I wasn't about to let this conversation die. Not when getting the man to speak had been a pretty much impossible task the past few weeks.
"I think being away has done me some good." He eventually began and I clamped my lips together, tightly, ready and prepared to listen. "Away from her, I mean." Rosita. "I've been so over-whelmed and consumed with guilt that in the end, that was all I felt. When I visited her grave, I thought it would help; to sit with her, to speak with her, to say I was sorry. But it didn't. I think if anything, it just made it worse." A sigh. "Seeing her grave is a constant reminder of what happened and the longer I spent with her, the further away I became to you guys. Seeing her grave reminded me of everyone that has died trying to keep me alive and I just couldn't stand it. I just became so angry - with myself and everyone else around me. I closed in on myself because I was afraid of hurting anyone else in the process and soon, things just didn't matter to me anymore. I just didn't care about anything. I mean what is the fucking point of my immunity of I can't even keep those close to me alive?" I glanced over my shoulder then, staring at the side of his face to see a frown and what looked to be a tear stain on his cheek. I quickly looked away before he noticed my looking.
"And now?" I braved asking. At that, Elliot breathed a chuckle before sniffing loudly.
"Now?" He repeated. "Now I'm seeing things a little clearer now. I mean, I suppose I could go on grieving but what good is that going to do? It ain't gonna bring them back and I know that. When we'd lost people before, Rosita was always the one to tell me to keep strong, to keep remembering why we're doing this." Elliot paused then and movement out the corner of my eye told me that he was wiping his face. "I didn't ask to be immune - sometimes I wish I wasn't, just so my life wasn't so important and others would perhaps have survived in my place. But that ain't to be and I can sit around and mope about it, but it won't change anything. My mom used to tell me crying ain't gonna make a difference; keeping strong and smiling through all the bullshit is what will. So, you know what? That's what I'm gonna do; for Rosita and everyone else before her." With my own tears, I smiled to myself at Elliot's words, quite over-whelmed by the certainty and the strength behind them.
"I'm glad to hear it, Elliot." I said then. "I'm sure I speak for everyone too when I say that we've definitely missed you." I just and so caught the brief quirking smile on the young man's lips then, glad that I had the chance to say those words to him.
"Hey and you know what else too?" He prompted then, looking my way. I raised an eyebrow and Elliot looked down to pat his leg. I frowned for a moment, confused, before realising that it was the leg which had been shot all that time ago. "It's fucking good to finally walk again, even if I have got a limp." I beamed at that.
"Daryl's got a slight one too - you can be limping buddies." Elliot chuckled, shaking his head before we both turned away to look at our respective areas.
"Daryl and I are walking again, Merle's better from his beating, you are too after being shot. Heck, even Herschel's looking a little less pale." It was then that my smile faded slightly, aware that while Elliot's tone was light, there was still meaning behind his words. If anything, they were a little bitter. "Guess things gotta start looking up sooner or later, right?"
I said nothing in response, not sure that even Elliot believed his own words. It seemed more than likely that he was saying it for the pretence and I found myself unable to comment in return. While we both seemed to know how slim the chances were of his final statement coming true, neither of us said anything to correct it. Instead, we both chose to ignore the dark, ominous feeling in the air that seemed to constantly hang nowadays, pretending that yes, everything would be fine and yes, things would start looking up sooner or later.
That was the day that David Chambler died.
It happened during dinner apparently, everyone in their respectable apartments. A sudden wailing from the Chambler's apartment caught everyone's attention, halting Merle mid-word through his random babbling. Immediately, Rick, Abraham and Daryl were on their feet and with an order for everyone to remain in the room, the trio went to investigate. The rest of us remained waiting anxiously for them to return, Glenn posted close to the door with his gun ready just incase he needed to go and intervene. No longer than ten minutes later though, the apartment door opened once more and the three of them filed back in, faces grave but otherwise fine. Rick was the one to tell us David had died, apparently going quite peacefully in his sleep, much to our reliefs. My one and only conversation with the man immediately came to mind and I was quick to swallow the thickness in my throat at the memories.
"Lucky bastard." Merle muttered, earning himself a few glares at that.
"How are the girls?" Maggie's voice asked, her figure lingering in her father's bedroom doorway. At that, Sophia was suddenly on her feet and moving towards the door. Daryl was quick to stop her though, planting himself quite firmly in her path, blocking the exit.
"I want to see if Meghan's alright." She urged, first looking at Daryl then to me, her eyes desperate. I said nothing at first, swallowing thickly as I thought of the grief Meghan and her family must be in right now.
"We've dealt with the grandpa, so it's safe for her to go over." Abraham grumbled, blankly, and I sent him a quick glare for the choosing of his words. "Ain't sure they'll be wanting to see any of us though right now."
"But Meghan's my friend. Please, Ruby." Unable to stand against her pleading expression any more, I found myself sighing and heaving myself to my feet.
"I'll come with you."
No one answered when Sophia knocked on the door but the young girl pushed herself inside regardless and quickly scanned the room for her friend. I followed on behind her, watching as once her gaze set on something, she quickly darted away. As I shut the door behind me, I watched as Sophia crouched down beside Meghan's hiding form at the end of the couch, whispering words I couldn't hear before suddenly engulfing the shyer girl in a hug. The quiet sounds of crying was enough to make my heart clench and I turned away towards where there were two figures seated at the dining room table. Tara was the first to meet my gaze and though she didn't smile, she sent me one curt nod.
"Hey." She all but grunted, her voice sounding quite hoarse and ragged. In the dull light of the candle burning nearby, I could make out the tear stains on her cheek and quickly, the woman moved to wipe them away. Opposite her, sat her sister, Lilly, holding what looked to be a photo in her hands. I glanced briefly back towards the bedroom in the corner, taking in the closed door before swallowing thickly.
"I'm sorry for intruding, but Sophia just wanted to come and make sure Meghan was okay." I murmured, softly.
"It's alright." Lilly replied then, sniffing suddenly before placing the picture down on the table surface. She quickly rose to her feet and turned to me with a watery smile, despite the lack of tears in her eyes. "We were just about to eat, would you or Sophia like anything?" I shook my head.
"No thank you, we've just eaten." The woman nodded quickly, her head frantically bobbing as she looked towards where her daughter was hiding and then to her sister.
"Alright, well, I hope you're hungry Tara. Meghan, I want you to eat all of your food tonight, don't just pick around the things you don't want."
While neither her sister nor her daughter answered her, Lilly still bustled her way into the kitchen contently, quickly going about setting up food for her family. Judging by Tara's expression, she wasn't too pleased by her sister's display but I knew that it was all just a front that Lilly was showing right now - to remain strong. Without a word, I quickly took her place at the table opposite Tara, my eyes drawn immediately to the photo Lilly had left. It was a family photo of Lilly, Tara, Meghan, David and an elderly woman who I assumed was Lilly and Tara's mother. Given how young Meghan looked too, it seemed like it was taken quite a while ago now and I smiled faintly at the clear happiness on all their faces. It certainly was a contrast to their faces now.
"That was taken probably a few weeks before Mom died." Tara muttered suddenly and I glanced up at her unhappy expression. "She had a heart attack one day while she was out in Wall-Mart, buying some baking stuff to make with Meghan." A pause as Tara sighed. "Apparently she died on the way to the hospital, weren't anything they could do."
"I'm sorry." The woman was quick to shrug in return.
"I'm just glad she wasn't around for all this bullshit." She replied, quietly, leaning back in her chair with a frown. Silently, she glanced back over her shoulder to where Lilly was clattering around the kitchen, trying to make herself busy. Tara studied her for a few moments before turning back to me with a face of almost disgust, shaking her head. "She did this when Mom died too. I don't think I've ever seen her cry."
"People cope with grief differently." I offered, weakly. I thought then of when Jessica and I found our parents dead - we had coped with it quite differently too - and I was unsurprised that the sisters before me were just the same. I decided to voice this to Tara. "When my parents died, my sister and I reacted quite differently to each other too. I guess out of the two, I was the one to bottle things up more. I mean, just because you don't see Lilly crying, doesn't mean she isn't." Tara took this in thoughtfully and I was glad to see her features softening at that. There were a few moments of silence between us then before the woman suddenly frowned.
"Did your parents die before or after?" She asked and I swallowed thickly before replying.
"After." I breathed, watching as Tara raised her eyebrows. I hoped she wouldn't ask for details, finding myself feeling quite numb on the matter.
"Your sister-" She muttered, trailing off briefly. "Is she with you?" I shook my head, sadly.
"No, she died too." Tara said nothing after that, but instead nodded slowly. A level of somewhat compatible silence grew between us and when Lilly eventually finished in the kitchen and presented her sister with a plate of food, I was happy to see Tara offer a dull "thank you", rather than anything hostile.
David's funeral was held the day after. A grave was dug beside Rosita's, curtsy of Abraham and Rick, and everyone but Herschel and Maggie came out to pay their respects. In the window above, I could see Maggie's figure in one of the windows and knew that while she would not come down in fear of leaving her father's side, she would still watch over it all. After Abraham, Daryl and Rick had carried David's body down - wrapped carefully in a large white sheet - and placed it in the grave, everyone quickly gathered around for it to begin. Bob was the one who chose to lead it all, reading from a bible that Tara told us belonged to their father.
I found myself barely listening to him speaking, instead choosing to watch Sophia across from me as she stood close beside Meghan. It was evident that the latter of the two girls was crying softly, but Sophia had an arm over her friend's shoulder, whispering words of comfort all the way through. It made me happy to see, but I was unable to smile. After Lilly and Tara had spoken a few words in David's favour, Abraham and Rick moved to fill up the grave and everyone watched on silently for a moment before Tara urged her family away. Slowly, the rest of us followed with Abraham and Rick bringing up the rear once the grave had been refilled.
That night, Lilly and her family were asked to join us for dinner which they accepted and while things were a little crampt, judging by their faces, they were happy for the effort. There was still clear sadness in their expressions, but I knew things would get better for them soon. They just had to give it time.
After David's death however, there appeared to be quite a subtle shift in Lilly. Suddenly, she became almost more resilient now, over-caring almost. While before, she would come over and visit Herschel when appropriate to make sure everything was alright, I began to realise that after the passing days, she began to come over more often. It grew to a point where it was almost strange to find her not at Herschel's side anymore and Maggie in the end, had to tell the woman to give them some space. This, however, didn't seem to hinder the woman.
I began her next point of worry then as I found that she was suddenly constantly making sure I was alright and that my wound was still healing nicely. She was becoming over-cautious, I soon realised and knew it had everything to do with her father's death. Concerned for her own mental well-being, I found that I didn't quite have the strength to send her away like Maggie did and instead, continued to allow her to check-up on me, if only to give her something to keep her mind on. Of course, Daryl didn't agree.
"Ya shouldn't encourage 'er." He muttered once after the third check-up of the day. I sighed at that, eyeing him from my position lying on the cot. The hunter was stood leaning against the wall by the window, arms folded as they had been constantly throughout Lilly's visit. While Daryl would never say anything to her, he still seemed to make it quite clear when she came that her presence was becoming quite an annoyance to him.
"Her father's just died, Daryl." I returned, shrugging. "If taking care of others helps her to take her mind off it, then who am I to stop her?" The man snorted at that, pushing himself away from the wall so he wander over to the bed I sat on. It creaked under his weight as he perched himself on the end of it.
"It ain't your fault the woman's takin' it hard." At that, I said nothing, not wanting to argue with him.
When the woman returned again later, Daryl didn't hide his glare but Lilly seemed quite inept at ignoring him. Instead, she smiled warmly at me, before asking how I was feeling. It was almost the same procedure - ask how I was doing, go over if anything hurt, before she checked the bandaging and touched a few areas around the wound to ask if anything ached when she did. Despite Daryl's clear dislike for it all, I battled on regardless and did where instructed appropriately, keeping in mind that this was Lilly's way of helping herself - taking care of others.
Her over-caution however became quite a problem when her rather unnecessary usage of supplies meant that quickly, she used up the role of bandages she had on my wound. When Lilly realised this, she was quick to apologise and almost looked quite horrified at the fact there weren't any left. Given the healing state of my wound though and the fact the bandage I currently had on was fresh on earlier that morning, I quickly assured the woman that it didn't matter.
"I need to get some more." She whispered, quickly rising to her feet.
"Well, I'd speak to either Rick or Abraham first about that because I'm not sure they'll want you wandering off right now." I returned, lightly, glancing at Daryl for aid. I eyed the man meaningfully and after a few glaring moments, the man sighed.
"I'll speak to 'em later 'bout goin' out on a supply run for ya." He muttered, unhappily.
"I need them now. I need to help." Lilly said then, shaking her head. "It's important-"
"It can wait." Daryl cut in, frowning. "Like I said, I'll speak to 'em but ya gotta leave it for now - it's too dark to go wanderin' off right now." He was right, through the drapes of the window, I saw the darkened sky outside and knew that a visit to the old folk's home down the road would prove to be problematic to anyone right now. "Ruby will be fine for tonight."
Lilly didn't argue anymore and left quite quietly back to her own apartment. I found myself frowning after her as she went, a little uncertain by what had happened. Daryl made a point of slamming the door behind her as she went, shaking his head and muttering under his breath as he quickly flopped onto the bed beside me with a sigh.
"That woman needs to fuckin' chill out." I sighed at his harsh words, not responding to them. Beside me the bed creaked as Daryl propped himself on his elbows to look at me. After a few moments of just staring at me, the man quirked an attempt of what seemed to be a smirk. "At least, we got some peace tonight." Breathing a chuckle, I smiled back.
Daryl, true to his word, made a point of asking Abraham and Rick about another supply run when it came to dinner time and while the pair were confused why there needed to be one just for the sake of bandages, Daryl quickly explained Lilly's "unstable" state as he deemed it. Given that everyone was aware of the whole thing that went on with Lilly's over-care of Herschel and Maggie's dismiss of her, they understood what Daryl was getting at and while they didn't appear to like the idea, Rick said that we'd discuss a supply run with Lilly in the morning. Satisfied that they were willing to help her, I went to sleep that night content enough.
However, the sudden thumping on the front door to the apartment the next morning, followed by Tara's quickly flinging the door open, I felt that contentment quickly disparate. Her eyes were wide and frantic as she searched the room, looking into all our faces before suddenly barging past everyone on her way towards Herschel's room. After looking inside and then into mine, she turned back to face us all with wide eyes.
"Where's Lilly?" She demanded, her tone low. Glancing around, I saw a lot of confused faces matching our own.
"We ain't seen her." Abraham was the one to reply. "Ain't seen her since she left last night." Tara faltered a little at that before shaking her head.
"She's not in our apartment and I've checked the room to see if she's up there helping on watch, but she's not." Tara paced back towards the door, her posture suddenly frantic. "I looked outside to see if she was outside with Dad's grave, but she isn't there either and now you guys don't know where she is-"
"Tara, calm down." Rick tried then, coming forward towards the woman. She was quick to turn on him.
"Calm down?!" She hissed. "The fuck you telling me to calm down?! My sister is missing and apparently there are some assholes out there watching this building and you're telling me to calm down?!" A door behind her opened then and Tara spun on her feet, almost expectantly, before sagging at the sight of Meghan coming to stand in the doorway. "I'm sorry for the cussing, Meg, I just-"
"I found this." The girl murmured suddenly, her voice quiet and timid as she held out what looked to be a note towards her Aunt. Rick stepped forward then, anticipation for what the note said and Tara took it from her niece with a hesitant hand. After visibly swallowing, she read what was on the piece of paper.
"I went out to help." Tara read, her brow creasing at that as she frowned. "This is Lilly's hand-writing."
"What does it mean "she went to help"?" Glenn asked then, the question on everyone's mind, no doubt. Hearing the words again however only seemed to make somewhere in my mind switch at the thought.
'I need to help' - Lilly's own words to Daryl the night before during her bid to get some more supplies. Almost immediately, I felt a weight of something dreadful plummet my stomach and as I stared at the note in Tara's hand, I felt a horrible revelation occur to me. Meeting Daryl's gaze, I knew he had come to the same conclusion.
"She's gone out looking for supplies." I muttered, feeling Tara's eyes turn to me then in confusion.
"What?" She questioned. "Why the hell would she go out on her own?" At that, Abraham rose to his feet.
"We don't know, but I reckon it's best we go make sure she's alright, don't you think?" He muttered, reaching for the gun he had been resting against the wall beside his chair. At that, he turned to Rick. "What you reckon; you, me, Daryl and Glenn go out and look for her?" The ex-sheriff nodded and quickly him, Daryl and Glenn gathered their gear. As he passed by me, Abraham was quick to mutter under his breath; "Ruby, make sure Tara doesn't leave the building" before the four men quickly left the room.
I watched as Tara stood in an almost daze in the doorway, holding the note in her hand as she stared down at it, blankly. I could almost hear the cogs twisting in her head and it was a record-breaking three seconds before she scrunched up the paper between her fist and stormed her way out the apartment. With a wave in Michonne's direction when she bid to follow her, I quickly set on her trail.
"Tara-"
"I'm going with them." She countered, rushing down the stairs. I tried to keep her pace, wincing at the twist of my wound but found it not as unbearable as it used to be. "You can't expect me to wait around while my sister is missing!"
"Daryl and the others will find her, don't worry. Right now, you're better off here. Meghan needs you, Tara." By this point, we had made it down onto the ground floor and Tara turned, without a word, towards the back - and now only - exit. With a sigh, I followed her as she shoved her way out the door and outside. "Tara!"
When I finally pushed my way out the exit, I was surprised to be greeted by not only Tara, but Daryl and the others too. Frowning, I studied their rigid postures and the way they were facing the door Tara and I had just came through. They didn't appear to be looking at us though, instead the were staring at something behind us. Tara seemed to gather the same revelation as we both turned around at the same time, to see what the four of them were staring at. When my eyes landed on the sights before me, I found myself faltering a little as I stared, eyed-wide, at the door before me.
There, written in red and the colour of what only could be described as blood, was simply the single letter "A".
Author's Note: Hey guys! Thanks as always for all the support from the previous chapter - I was kinda worried that everyone had abandoned this story after my stupidly long hiatus. I'm glad to see that people are still enjoying it, it does keep me motivated. I have every determination to complete this story and I do have plans for upcoming chapters, so hopefully I will eventually get you there! As for beyond this story, I'm not sure. I really enjoy writing Ruby's tale but whether or not I go further after A New Road is undecided yet. We shall see, I guess :)
What did everyone think about the rest of season 5 so far? I myself am quite excited for what's to come, especially given the comic storylines. Any thoughts of what might be to come?
Thanks again for the reviews and support. Hopefully I'll have an update up soonish (I'm re-watching season 4B and 5 again to get myself motivated!). You guys, as always, are great!