Arrhythmia Chapter 24, a mortal instruments fanfic

Author's Note

I've been finished with this for quite some time but for some unknown reason, the site won't let me update, until now. So… I'm very sorry if this update came late! I swear, it killed me not being able to post a new chapter when I already finished it :(

So… Jace and Clary hit a restart button on their acquaintance. This said, this story may be changing paths! Hahahaha. Kidding (half-kidding!). To be honest, I'm still torn on how to continue this since I have so many things planned that don't really match

Also, THANK YOU! Thanks for the reviews, favorites, follows, and most importantly – patience. I love you all! You're all the reason why I'm still writing this story. I hope we'll reach to its end ;)

Anyway, here's Chapter 24! Enjoy!

OOC Alert: This is a fanfiction. If the characters in here don't act the way that they do in the books, I take all the blame. After all, characterization is one of my biggest flaws as a fanfic writer. So if you don't like a different Jace or Clary (and the other characters by Cassie Clare), I suggest you do not read this story.

Disclaimer: The Mortal Instruments and all its characters all belong to Cassandra Clare. I merely borrowed them for this story. The plot and everything else in this story is all mine, though.

Arrhythmia

Chapter 24: Opening books

-JACE-

"You're an idiot.

"Stupid.

"Bastard."

He opens his mouth but before a sound can escape, I lean towards him and hiss, "I swear, if your siblings aren't here, I would've beaten you into a bloody pulp right now."

He only rolls his eyes. "You know I'm right."

I lean back into the chair. "They sound better hearing from me."

"You're really an idiot, stupid, bastard," he whispers.

I glare at him. "I hope you're proud whispering those things to me while your siblings are only a few feet away, Mark."

He gives me the finger.

"That, too."

"Whatever," he sighs after glancing at his siblings, who are currently watching a TV show. "Let's talk about you."

I groan. "I hate myself."

"Well-deserved."

"I hate you, too."

He combs his light hair with his fingers. "You know when you told me you care about her, I wasn't surprised at all."

"Huh?"

He shrugs. "I don't know. I guess I saw it coming."

"And?"

"What actually surprised me is the fact that you want to try to work things out."

"I have to earn her forgiveness," I explain.

"That's the point. You've never done that before. You play a girl and in some ways you care for her but when the game's over and she's hurt, that's the end. You've never tried to get a girl to forgive you."

I want to tell him that I care for Clary in a different way. I want to tell him that I think this time, it's different. But how will he understand? He's also a player like me and he can't even be man enough to confess to Izzy. "You're not helping."

"Man, we're still young and it's too early for you to quit being a playboy. We haven't experienced what it's like in college and especially in the real world!"

I give him an incredulous look.

"I seriously am not helping, am I?"

I nod.

"Okay, so speak. Why didn't you tell her about the bet?"

I shrug. "I don't know."

"Did you or did you not tell her on purpose?"

"I don't know."

"Dude, we're not in a crime show."

"I know." He gives me a pointed look. "Fine, I didn't tell her because I didn't know how to tell her."

He smirks. "You mean you didn't tell her because you're a coward?"

"Careful," I hiss and close my eyes briefly. "Look, I was trying to ask for a second chance, okay? And I didn't know how to tell her without her getting madder at me. If I told her I approached her because of a bet, do you think she'll believe my apologies?"

"I don't know," M replies. "And we'll probably never know since as you didn't try."

"I'm an idiot."

"Yes, you are."

After a while, he asks. "Are you at least planning to tell her?"

"Yes," I sigh. "She should know. Just not now." I give him a knowing look. "She should know from me."

"Won't that hurt her all over again?" He asks. "And besides, trust me, I don't wish to be the one to tell her that hard truth."

"It won't if I tell her at the right place and time, by the right way."

He stands up and pats my shoulder as he walks past me, heading to his siblings. "Good luck, Jace."

Yeah, good luck to me.

"Alas, the holidays have gone by quickly," Grandma says as we watch the helper wheel out her luggage out of the house.

"We can't control time," I say just so I can say something.

She makes a move of looking around. "Where's your mother? She couldn't even bother to say goodbye to me?"

I ignore the distaste in her voice. "She said she's busy with something she can't miss or reschedule."

"Excuses," Grandma says and even though I think the same, I don't say anything.

Instead, I make my way out the door. "We'll have to go, Grandma, you can't miss your flight."

She lets out a huff. "You can at least pretend you're not that eager to send me home."

I climb into the driver's seat and wait for her, quickly debating whether or not I should text Mom so she can make a miraculous appearance at the airport, just so Grandma can't say anything about her before she leaves. The car door opens and Grandma situates herself in a comfortable position. I put my phone on the dashboard. Mom will probably not go even if she can.

As I start to drive, I say, "Why do you have to go back early? You usually stay for three to five more days."

"I usually have a good time here but this year it's just… good gracious, your mother was just hard to deal with."

"I live with her," I say, suddenly in defensive mode. "We are all right."

She tsks. "You're her son, of course she treats you differently than me."

I suppress a groan. She said it herself. How can she expect Mom to be extra nice to her when she's the mother of the man who left her for another woman? The mother who didn't even once – in my knowledge – apologize for what her son did? In fact, I've had this long suspicion that she even blamed my mother why my dad left us.

"Can we talk about something else, please?" I can't handle getting into an argument with her right now.

"Gladly," Grandma replies. "Don't miss me too much, okay?"

"I'll try," I reply.

She claps her hands, once. "I mean it. And if by luck, we'll see each other again in seven months when you go to Singapore for college."

I keep my eyes straight on the road as I frown. I'm still really annoyed about her processing my application to NUS even though she knows I have no interest in studying there. "Maybe. Still, I'll try not to miss you."

"You're annoyed at me."

I don't reply. I don't want to confirm what she says but I also don't want to lie and tell her she's wrong.

"I'm going to miss you, Jace," she says softly. A short silence follows. "I hope you understand why I like being involved too much in your life. You're my only grandson. My stupid son didn't even care to have many children with Celine before he ran away with that woman. I see the way you treat your friend's brothers and sisters. Oh, imagine if you have twin siblings like Livia and Tiberius." Her voice is partly bitter, partly dreamy.

My thoughts wander off towards the day after Christmas, when I met with my father and siblings. A small pang starts in my chest, thinking of how I had tried so hard to be a brother to Austin and Stella, and then how I effortlessly care for M's siblings.

I shake my head to clear the thoughts away. "Maybe it's time you contact him?"

"No," my grandmother's voice hardens. "I told him before. It's either he comes begging for me to take him back, or he'll remain a stranger to me and the rest of the Herondale family."

I close my eyes, feeling bad not for my father, but for my siblings. "He's still your son." Just as he's still my father and I badly want to tell her right now that it's not yet late to fix things with him, just like how I'm trying to rebuild a relationship with him.

In response, Grandma reaches over to the radio and turns it on. She lets one full song to finish before she speaks. "I don't want to talk about him, either."

Maybe it's part of my nonexistent New Year's resolution, but I don't let Grandma be the driver of our conversation. "But don't you ever wonder how he is right now?"

"Have you?" She shoots back.

"He's my father."

"Who was never there for you," she replies, every word cold as ice.

My eyes remain on the road. "If my eight year-old self's memory serves me right, he's a very good father to me."

"But he left you and your mother," Grandma chides. "For another woman." It's like she's not speaking about her own son. She really did disown him when he left.

I feel little shots of pain up my knuckles and it's when I notice that I've been gripping the steering wheel too tight. I take a deep breath. "That doesn't change the fact that I won't be alive right now if it weren't for him."

Grandma scoffs. "You really think that's what makes someone a father? Jace, you of all people should know that my son was terrible at being a father! If he's a good one, then he should've not left you and your mother for that low-class woman! He should've not stopped raising you 'til you're eight. He should've been there for you in your adolescence; he should be here right now, when you're entering adulthood! But no, he chose someone over you!"

Great. Just great. We're near the airport and here she is, mad at me. I don't speak for some minutes and neither does Grandma, though she increases the volume of the radio.

We arrive at the airport and before I unlock the doors, I hold my grandmother's hands. She looks at me with those inquisitive eyes of hers. "Look, Grandma," I start. "I'm sorry I ruined your last hour here, talking about Dad. It's just… I think we shouldn't be too hard on others. I think people deserve second chances because we all make mistakes sometimes. I think we all deserve a shot at making things better, at correcting our wrongs. And… I can never truly know how much Dad hurt you when he left but… don't you think you both deserve a second chance? After all, he's your only son and you, his mother."

Grandma is looking at me as if it's the first time she has ever seen me. I can't blame her. I think this is the first time I'm able to say something like that. "'Dad'", she repeats slowly, her eyes questioning me. She definitely did not miss the fondness with which I said the word. Her eyes widen. "You've been seeing Stephen, haven't you?"

I nod a little. I watch as confusion replaces the surprise on her face, followed by anger, and then settles into an unreadable one. "How?"

I glance at the clock. "Long story. Are you willing to miss your flight just to hear it?"

Unfortunately, her face hardens. "I'm not."

"Grandma…"

She gently uncovers my hands around hers and then unbuckles her seatbelt. "Come, Jace. Help me with my luggage."

"But Grandma…" I run out of words. What am I supposed to say? I can't force her to stay, to listen, can I?

Left with no choice, I exit the car and go to the trunk, helping my grandmother with her luggage. Neither of us speaks as we enter the airport.

"Jace," she turns to me before I go. "Thank you for bringing me here."

I nod. "Thanks for being with us through the holidays."

She fishes something out of her handbag. "Here," she hands me an envelope. "Advance Happy Birthday." When she sees my raised eyebrows, she adds, "Two tickets to Les Miserables."

I frown. "You know Mom doesn't watch musicals."

"Well, the other ticket's not for your mom. Watch it with someone else." Her smile changes. "Watch it with a girl."

I shake my head. "Thanks for this, Grandma."

"Come here," she says and I go and let her hug me. "Can you promise me one thing?" She whispers.

"Yeah?"

"Introduce a girl to me the next time we meet."

I chuckle. "I'm sorry, but I don't like making promises I can't keep."

We part, smiling at each other, as if some minutes ago, we were not in the brink of an argument. "Have a safe trip," I say.

She nods at me. "Thank you, Jace."

I watch her go through security before I turn and leave.

Second chances. I made a little speech about second chances a while ago but who am I kidding? I know I already screwed the second chance Clary gave me. I didn't tell her about the fucking bet. I didn't tell her that I may or may not be starting to like her, though that could be excused since I'm still confused about that. But the bet…

Why the fuck did I not have the guts to tell her that?

My phone beeps but I keep on driving. It beeps a second time but still, I ignore it. I'm driving, whoever texted can wait.

He can't. My phone starts to ring and I pull over to the nearest spot available during the fourth ring. Without looking at the caller ID, I answer. "Hello?"

"You finally picked up," Alec's voice answers.

I sigh. "You really have a habit of not telling me when you're back?"

He also sighs at the other end. "That's why I texted and am calling you."

"Okay. So when can I get the stuff you bought for me?"

He ignores my question. "Are you free tonight? Can I come over your house?"

"Yeah, sure."

"Okay, see you." Alec hangs up.

I look at my phone before returning it to the console.

Alec's promised talk with me will probably happen tonight. I have to prepare.

"You look distressed." It's probably not the first thing Alec wants to hear from me for our first meeting since they left.

"I know," he replies with a sigh. "How was your holidays?"

"Fine, I guess," I shrug. "Nothing extraordinary." I still can't tell Alec about meeting my father.

"Mine sucked," he says, shaking his head. "I'm screwed Jace."

"Okay, let's forget about how-are-you's and such. What's the matter?"

Alec looks at me before he shakes head. "Izzy's locked herself in her bedroom."

I raise a brow. "Since when?"

"Since we arrived." A shake of his head. "No, she also did that a few days before we left Iceland."

"And the reason?"

He looks at me, his blue eyes dark with worry and sadness I hadn't noticed before. He exhales. "Remember when we went dress shopping and I received a call?"

"Yeah?" I didn't forget about it and I've been waiting for him to tell me, if he ever planned to. Looks like tonight, he has finally decided.

"It's from Mom," he says. "She was checking on me, asking if I had done what she asked me to do."

"And that is?"

"Tell Isabelle the news – that she and Dad are getting a divorce."

Of course, I'm surprised. It's really news – I never saw it coming. Maryse and Robert Lightwood seemed like a very happy couple. But then again, so did Mom and Dad.

Alec sighs. "I'm sorry I never told you. I never told my sister, too. They went out of the country in hopes that vacation can save their marriage. Well, as you see, it didn't work. And they're too much of cowards to tell Isabelle, much less go back here until she knows. That's why they saw my scheduled return as opportunity. Why not let their son be the one to break the news to their daughter, right?"

I tsk. "I don't even know what to say."

Alec smiles a little. "I never let them get away with it, Jace. I never told Izzy. In the end, they had to be the one to tell her right after New Year's Eve. Can you believe that?"

"Alec…"

"That explains why my holiday sucked."

"Alec, I forgive you for not telling me. But why?" I can't believe it. All this time… "You acted all happy since you returned. You mean all this time, you were hiding something like that?

He shrugs. "I did not want to spread bad vibes. Besides, we all carry something inside of us, don't we? We're all half-open books and whoever sees the hidden parts is all up to us."

I want to blame myself for not noticing before but I cannot. Alec's really, really good at keeping things to himself. Instead, I let him open his closed parts to me. "When do you think Izzy will be alright?"

He shakes his head, the worry darkening his eyes more. "That's what I don't know. She has never been like this since Max died and… it's not even two years yet. I have no idea how to help her through these hard times. It's not helping that our parents chose not to come home with us. At least, Dad did. He flew to England. Mom came back with us but she chose to stay at a hotel."

Max. Had he lived, he would be turning eleven this year, same as Ty and Livvy, who are only a few months older than him. I glance at Alec and see the devastated look on his face. A thought suddenly passes me… is it possible that Max's death has something to do with the divorce? However, I can't bring myself to ask. Instead, I say, "Just let her know she's not alone and you're here if she needs someone."

"She hates me. She refuses to talk to me."

Oh, Izzy. "Because you didn't tell her?"

Alec nods grimly. "Though I told her why I didn't. I'm only hoping she'll understand soon."

"She will," I assure him. "Trust me, she will."

"You know classes are resuming soon."

"And you know Izzy values her grades, if not learning, too. We both know she'll find a way to get herself in a state where she can go to school."

He shoots me a grateful smile. "Thanks, man. You're really… I really needed this talk. I don't even… I don't even know how you went through with this when, you know, your parents divorced."

And just like that, a door opened. Maybe I can tell Alec about my dad. "You know, I've been debating with myself whether to tell you something. Just now, the side that wants me to tell you won."

Alec straightens in attention. "What is it, Jace? You know you can trust me with anything."

"I went on a date with Clary sometime early December last year, have I told you that?"

He shakes his head no.

"Okay, I went on a date with her. Well, we met some people coincidentally in the mall…" I look at him and see him watching me intently. "We saw my dad and his second family."

I watch and wait for his reaction. It's a mixture of surprise, pity, and gladness; surprise the most prominent of all. "Did they see you?"

I nod. "Dad was the one to approach first. The moment he spoke, I knew it was him. I knew his voice by heart. I was young when he left, but you never really forget your happiest memories. And besides, you know I tried calling him with my nannies' phones and all I would hear was his voicemail. So when I heard him call my name that day, I knew it was him and I didn't know what to do.

"I could have just pretended not to hear him and probably never see him again but… the child in me really wanted to see him again. So, yeah. I responded and we ended up having a meal together. He introduced me to his family – his wife, my brother and sister – and me to them. Since Clary was with me, I introduced her to him, too. After that, he gave me a number so I can call him if I wanted to. I never called him until recently."

"You're saying you're meeting with your father, after all these years?"

I nod.

"Does your mom know? Your grandma?"

"I can't tell Mom, at least for now. I told Grandma this morning while driving her to the airport."

With concern, Alec asks, "How did she take it?"

"To be honest, I can't tell. But I think she's leaning more on the side that she doesn't approve."

"But you're still going to keep meeting him?"

I nod again. "I… want to get to know my siblings. My father, too. Maybe even his wife, Amatis."

Alec pats me once and smiles. "I'm so glad for you, Jace."

Looking at Alec, I see how tired he is – the bags under his eyes, the way his shoulders are low, he can't even have his hair cut and it's falling over his eyes. "You should rest."

He surprises me when he shakes his head no. "Didn't I tell you we're going to have a talk when I come back?"

"Oh." I fake a gasp. "That wasn't the talk?" Of course Alec knows I know it wasn't. He also knows I only said it to brighten the mood.

He gives me an appreciative smile. "You're not getting away from it, Jace."

I slump lower on my chair. "You sure you don't want me to sneak one of Mom's wine bottles?"

"No," he says. "But I'm sure I'd like us to talk now, no more excuses, no more stalling."

"Fine. Let's get this over with."

He takes a deep breath before he begins. "You remember when Izzy sent you to find out this one girl she thought I was dating?"

"Yeah."

"It's Clary."

I instantly look at him and I suddenly feel threatened, which is ridiculous. I'm surprised, but I guess I should have known before. Who else does he spend all his time in the school but her? "You're dating?"

He shakes his head no. The sudden threat I felt gets replaced by relief. "Do you want to? I mean, date her?"

He answers with an enigmatic smile. "I care about her."

I care about her, too. I keep the thought to myself. "And…?"

Alec fixes me with his blue stare. "I saw you two hugging, that night." He waits for me to speak but I don't. "I wanted to respect your privacy so I went to our table to just wait for her. But when she returned, her eyes were puffy and red and she was obviously crying. She claimed her purse and was about to leave but I insisted on bringing her home.

"She cried in my car. I didn't plan to ask her but she told me why anyway." He briefly closes his eyes. "Jace, I know that you play girls. I let you, because it's what you are – a player. I let you because you're my best friend and I know you'll mature soon and change." He shakes his head in disappointment. "But this? Clary? You know she's different from the usual girls. You know she's gonna get hurt at some point."

I'm frozen on my seat. Alec is disappointed on me, as if I don't feel like shit enough right now. "I want to say I wasn't planning on playing her but you're gonna kill me."

"Why?" he asks. "Why her? Were you so in love with challenges that you thought you'd try the unique girl?"

A frown carves its way on my forehead. "Hey. It's not my entire fault. At some point, you must have figured it out. You did nothing to save her from me."

"I asked her to the soiree."

"That's bullshit, Alec!" I suddenly feel anger rise from deep within me. Because thinking back to it now, Alec could have saved her from getting hurt by the bet. "You could have reminded her that I'm a player! You could have done something. And now you're talking to me, as if I'm the only bad person here?"

Alec glares at me. "How could I do that when it's obvious that – " He cuts himself short but I already know what he's about to say.

"It's obvious that, what?" I still ask him, though. Just like how I asked Clary, harsh as it may have been. But I need to hear it. I need to hear it once more. I need to know I'm doing the right thing, no matter how messed up things already are.

"It's not my place to say."

"She likes me." It's not a question.

His lack of denial is enough. We keep quiet for a few minutes, both of us trying to calm ourselves.

After sometime, I speak again and my voice is calm. "So you wanted to talk to me about her?"

Alec nods slowly. "Look, Jace. I care about her and I hate it that you… made her cry. I rarely ask for favors but just this once, please let me."

"What favor do you want?"

"Leave her. Or at least talk to her. Just… anything to help her feel better." His voice is full of caring, one reserved for his family. He really must care about her a lot.

I smirk, getting his attention. "We already talked."

His eyes widen. "You did? And then what?"

For reasons, I refuse to meet his eyes. "I apologized and asked for a second chance. I'll try to make it up to her to earn her forgiveness."

When I look at him, he's staring at me suspiciously. "You do that? I think that's a first."

"I care about her." The words are out of my mouth before I can even think of them, surprising us both.

Alec's shaking his head so fast. "No, Jace. Don't."

"You don't understand, Alec," I say hardly, a tad bit offended that he doesn't believe me. But then again, can I blame him? "I could just leave her alone hating me, another addition to the girls I played. But something in me held me back. And I know I don't want us to just end like that because I care for her. I'll use this second chance to make it up to her."

"Then what? Ask her to go out with you?"

"I don't know."

"She knows everything? That you were trying to play her?"

"Yes." NO. The bet. The bet. The fucking bet.

Alec sighs and I can't figure out if it's for relief or tiredness. "Thank you, Jace, for the time."

"I'll always have time for you, man."

He gives me a small smile. "Good luck with your second chance."

Another 'good luck', another reminder of my fucking mistake.

Stupid bet.

-End of Chapter-

It's really time for Jace to lower his walls. Sorry for not putting any Clace moments! I'll make up next chapter, I swear.

I hope you all enjoyed reading this! Please let me know what you think by reviewing or messaging me! Thanks! :)

I love you all.

xoxo,

t.e.