With Big Shells and Wings

Summary: Steve, Green and Black talk about their late brothers, while Mario and the gang are forced to ask the local law enforcements for help.

Spit Bug

Green and Black were sitting down inside one of Trowzer's chambers away from the rest of his forces. The room they were in was pretty huge, but abandoned and very depressing. If anyone walked inside the chamber, an overwhelming sensation of sorrow would wash over them and memories of their worst moments in life would come about. The room was cold and the only lighting was the chandeliers on the walls lit with bluish-green flames. There was also the moonlight and the lava boiling around the castle, but other than that, the room wasn't radiant. Green and Black didn't feel like doing anything at the moment but mourning Yellow's death. It took a while before either one of them said anything.

"I…I can't believe he's gone dude…"

"I know. Just a few days ago he was working with us side-by-side, having the time of his life. Now…he's pushing up daisies."

"No he's not; he's pushing up dirt." said Black.

Green tapped his hand on the table a few times before he sighed heavily, holding back his tears.

"Normally I'd make a smart-ass comment about how dumb you just sounded…but now's not the time for that." said Green, his voice choking.

"Yeah…no one likes a smart-ass Green."

"…Right…"

"You know…you wanna know the one thing I want to know?"

"What?"

"How Red's takin' it. After he found out, he got angry and just stormed off and hasn't even called or left a note."

"Red's probably at his angry place. You know how he gets Black."

In reality, Red was at the edge of some industrial city inside of a hotel, drinking like a fish. Along with his beer consumption were massive bawling and tears. He was crying so much his eyes were red and almost swollen. Some of the neighboring residents had to tell him to quiet down due to the noise. Whenever he wasn't crying, he was drinking…heavily. Ironic how the leader, more importantly, the most badass Koopa Bros., was the one who took Yellow's death the hardest. Green and Black didn't even cry; they just got choked up and their eyes began to water. A few tears were spotted here and there, but they weren't bawling like Red was right now.

While Green and Black were mourning Yellow, Steve came in carrying a couple of bob-ombs.

"Hey guys."

"Sup?" said the Koopa Bros. in a melancholy tone.

Steve tossed the bob-ombs aside and sat down next to them.

"You uh…wanna talk about it?"

"How could anyone possibly know what we're going through right now? I know you're trying to help, but no thanks Steve." said Black.

"…Apparently you guys forgot I had a brother too, who was murdered just like Yellow was. And don't forget Lemmy and his brothers and Wendy just lost Iggy. I know exactly what you're going through."

"Wait a second, you had a brother?!"

"Don't ruin it." growled Steve.

"It's just hard. We've never lost someone close to us before. Our parents are still alive and over half our friends are too. I've lost a couple of bob-omb friends, but their bob-ombs; they're supposed to explode and die." said Green.

"Not if they're bob-omb buddies." added Black.

"Ignore him. Okay, the first thing you need to do is not blame yourself. Right now, you're probably thinking 'I should've been there.' or 'It should've been me.' and 'I could've done more to help him.' but the truth is, there was nothing you could do. You weren't the one who strangled your brother to death and I wasn't the one who bludgeoned my brother to death with a baseball bat so when you stop thinking that, you'll feel better."

"You don't understand; Yellow called Red not long before he died and told him he was going on vacation and said that he loved us. The only time he says that is if he's drunk, if he's in trouble and it's the only way to get him out of trouble, or if we just saved him from public embarrassment."

Steve shrugged. "How would you know what he meant by that? Like I said, you didn't garrote him, so stop blaming yourself."

Black and Green sighed. "Well, it does make me feel better blaming someone else." said Black.

"Okay. The second thing you need to do is remember the good times you had with Yellow and cherish those memories, because no one can take that away unless they brainwash you."

Black and Green chuckled. "What good memories?! He was whinin' or bitchin' half the time! We always teased him and played pranks on him and he always got us back everytime. And we'd always play a prank that was even worse than the one before!"

"Like what?"

"Squirting water at the bottom of his shell so it looked like he peed himself…and then he cried so hard he did pee himself."

"Putting itching powder inside his bandanna so when he put it on, his eyes would itch,"

"Eating his bacon when he wasn't looking,"

"Farting on his nose when he was sleeping,"

"Giving him countless Dutch Ovens,"

"Dousing his underwear with maple syrup,"

"Stealing his shell so he walked around naked,"

"Telling him a shark was in the bathtub,"

"Peeing on him while he was sleeping,"

"Farting in his tent when we went camping and zipping him up inside,"

"And who could forget the countless number of times Black has made Yellow sniff the inside of his shoes? Or even worse, his socks."

"…Okay, so you guys treated your brother like (censored). But that's okay; I've done the same thing to Kasey too. I teased him and beat him up and wrestled him over the last piece of pork chop and gave him Dutch Ovens too. But no matter what I did, we still had our good moments. It's not like you guys peed in his cereal bowl."

"Red did that." said Green.

"…Okay, well it's not like you put a lobster in his shell so it snap his (censored) or his balls."

"I did that twice." said Black.

"A guy got castrated because he was stupid enough to steal a lobster by putting it in his pants." said Steve.

"Yeah, I know."

"We still did it."

Steve sighed heavily. "Well…it's not like you T-Bagged him."

Black slowly shifted in his chair and started whistling nonchalantly to himself.

"Are you (censored) kidding me Black? You T-Bagged your brother?!" asked Steve.

"I thought it was funny!"

"You put your balls in his mouth! How's that even remotely funny?! Any higher and you would've orally raped him!"

"Calm down! All I did was stuck 'em in there and took a picture."

"That's even worse! How did Yellow stand you guys?!"

"I told you, he got us back everytime." said Green.

"ARGH! Okay, ignore good moments. There's other ways to feel better about yourself."

"Like what?"

"Blowin' (censored) up. Nothing makes me happier than blasting one of Bowser's churro carts with bob-ombs."

"That's true." said Black.

"And also, there are two things you gotta remember: There will be a day where you will look the killer in the eye, dunk his or her head in a pool of acid, and (censored) on his or her corpse so he or she will stink to high heaven."

"What else?"

"Yellow is in Heaven right now, looking down at you two, happy that you're still alive and you still remember him. If he's not doing that, he's at a strip club with Kasey getting endless lap dances and BJs from the sexiest koopas you can imagine, partying his ass off. Either way you put it, he's happy."

"What if he's in Hell?" asked Black.

"You would ask that." said Green.

"Then he's painfully getting his flesh devoured by demons whose names I can't pronounce while Lucifer sucks on his sac and maims his testes."

Green and Black's eyes grew wide.

"...Let's go with the first thing you said."

"Ditto."

Mario and the gang were resting in Hotel Delfino patching up their wounds and resting. After losing track of Yellow on the Shine Gate, the team decided to rest for now and worry about catching him later. Mario, his brother and Geno were resting inside, sitting on the pool chairs while Blaze and Kooper were slacking off once again, sunbathing in the sand with their shoes off. Luigi groaned and put a bag of ice on his head. Amazingly, most of Geno's face was back to normal since he ate over five ultra shrooms.

"You guys need anything else?" asked the hotel manager.

"No, we're fine."

"A shroom steak would be nice…" said Luigi.

"I'll get right on that." said the manager, walking away.

Mario lay back on the chair and sighed, coming up with an ultimatum.

"We gotta go see the cops."

"What?!"

"Mario, you can't be serious. Since when does the Great Plumber rely on law enforcement for help?" asked Geno.

"With Yellow gone, we have no leads about Bowser and his plans regarding taking over Isle Delfino. There's no arrow, no dramatic music, no Twink appearing from the sky, nothing."

"What if Bowser has a cop within—"

"We are talking about Bowser, bro. You really think he's smart enough to plant a mole within the Delfino Police Department?"

"…Good point."

The next morning, Mario and the gang arrived at the DPD HQ and were sitting down in front of the captain's main desk, ready to reveal their information to him. The captain looked like the rest of the Piantas, having a small palm tree resting on his scalp and had blue skin that looked blubbery and fat.

"Well it looks like you guys have been causing a stir in Isle Delfino. First you lead a short chase through the Delfino Plaza, then you take some of Big Daddy's blooper surfboards and crash some of them into the docks. After that, it seems you were ambushed by a yellow koopa."

"Yeah, his name's Yellow. We were chasing him to try and uncover another link with Bowser, but we lost him in the confusion and got our asses kicked." said Luigi.

"No, y'all got your asses kicked; I just fell off a surfboard." Kooper pointed out.

"Well, this guy didn't get very far. A couple of Piantas in Pianta Village found his body. Strangled."

Even Mario and his gang were shocked at Yellow's death.

"Yellow's dead??" asked Geno.

"And get this: Couple of Bzzaps! pecked out his eyeballs."

Luigi shut his eyes and mouthed the word, "Ow." while Mario and Kooper muttered, "Cool."

"What is a Bzzap! anyway?" asked Blaze.

"Think of a bumblebee the size of Mario with a stinger the size of a Playstation 2."

"Ouch! That must've hurt like (censored)!"

"He was dead before his eyes were gone. Anyway, this koopa you were chasing seems to have been murdered."

"Okay, before you get any bright ideas, we did not kill—"

"I know. You weren't even there. You were too busy getting your 'asses kicked'" said the captain.

"No, they got their asses kicked." Kooper retorted.

"You got kicked in the mouth."

"Shut up. At least my face is still intact Geno."

"This doesn't make any sense. The Koopa Bros. were part of Bowser's league. If we didn't kill Yellow and they didn't kill Yellow, that means—"

"There was a third party involved."

"Do you have any leads?" asked Blaze.

"Probably Bowser's half-brother, Trowzer."

Mario sighed. "Him again?"

"Hey, wasn't that the guy who sent that hitkoopa after us? Remember that guy Mallick?" asked Kooper.

"You mean the guy who freaked out and inadvertently blew himself up in Dry Dry Outpost?" asked Luigi.

"Yeah, him! So Bowser's half-brother killed Yellow?"

"How do you know that?" asked Geno.

"We don't. However, when we investigated the crime scene, the only witnesses said they saw a hefty reptile figure wearing a huge shell that might've had spikes coming out the back. And when we observed some of the foot prints left in the dirt…my men said they smelled um…horrible."

"Like what exactly?"

"One of my officers went as far as saying the prints smelled like blue cheese and month old sweat socks and the only creature I know of who have feet that smell that vile besides dragons is—"

"Bowser." said Mario and the others in unison.

"Exactly. So unless Bowser hired someone whose feet smell as bad as his, I'm near certain his half-brother killed him. Granted, his son Roy might've been the culprit, but I doubt that."

"Roy might've killed him?"

"Yeah, he hasn't bathed in a month, so I'm sure his feet smell terrible. Again, highly doubtful."

"There's still the possibility that Bowser killed him." said Blaze.

"Dude, think about it! Yellow was killed with a garrote in a secluded location with only a few witnesses and the only evidence the cops have is the culprit's smelly footprint. Do you really think Bowser is smart enough to do all that? Let alone, plan all that?" asked Kooper.

"…True."

"Do you know why Trowzer may have done this?" asked Geno.

"Probably because Yellow was working undercover with the KPA after they coerced him to due to a drug charge. I spoke with them not long ago and they said that they were performing this clandestine operation to discover all the secrets Trowzer has locked away in his bank account codes, laundered money and such. Ironically, Trowzer ordered the Koopa Bros. to blow up the bank on the same night and Yellow was supposed to disarm the detonators. Somewhere down the road, something went wrong, because the bank still exploded and the agents inside were instantly killed."

"That suspicious…"

"It gets better. The same night, Yellow booked a flight to Isle Delfino and started his life on the run. I'm sure he knew that sooner or later, Trowzer or the KPA would find him. It was his sorry luck that Trowzer got to him first."

"So basically, we got no leads."

"No. There were only five people that knew of Trowzer and what was contained within his account codes, all of whom are now dead. Personally, I think you guys are going after the wrong person."

"Trowzer can't be that bad." said Kooper.

"When he was 14, he jammed a CD up someone's ass just because he scratched it. When he was seven, he stabbed some kid in the eye and got sent to juvenile hall. And this is just his adolescent years; I don't even want to get started on his current lifestyle."

"But I don't understand! This guy is related to Bowser, shouldn't they be on the same level of evilness and stupidity?" asked Mario.

"No. Trowzer's a criminal lord, not just some fat, stupid koopa trying to take over the Mushroom Kingdom. He launders money, recruits mercenaries and hitkoopas, organizes missions of sabotage, tames dragons, I can go on. The guy is trying to rule the world and doesn't care who gets in his way. Yellow wasn't the first person he's killed since he's taken power…"

"You mind giving us an example?" asked Blaze.

"There's this guy the KPA has been watching for a while, a real slob of a magikoopa named Darrik. One of their spies saw Doopliss enter Darrik's house and not a moment later, he ran out in a state of panic. When the spy went to Darrik's house to investigate, he found his jaw on the floor. We have no idea what happened to Darrik, but he must've know something near and dear to Trowzer if his forces went far enough to ripping his jaw off. He's even responsible for the death of one of Bowser's kids."

Mario and the gang chuckled to themselves.

"He didn't do that, we did." said Blaze.

"…So you planted bombs in the engine room of Iggy's airship?" asked the captain.

"No, we just messed up the boilers and shut off the engines." said Mario.

"That's not what the forensic team found…"

Mario and the gang began to ponder for a moment, realizing the dangerous anomaly they just stumbled upon. They had been framed. Iggy's death would spark a fire within Bowser and his siblings' brains and cause them to go on a manhunt for Mario…which is exactly what Trowzer wanted.

"Son of a bitch—he's framing us!" said Geno.

"How?" asked Mario.

"Isn't it obvious? Trowzer had one of his agents sneak onto Iggy's airship, planted the bombs in the engine room, and then parachuted off before we spotted him! Then he set the bombs off after we already screwed up the engine room so it looked like we were the ones who sent Iggy to his death. Now we have to worry about Bowser and his infuriated siblings and this new contender Trowzer."

"…Or we could sit back and enjoy our vacation in Isle Delfino while Trowzer kills his half-brother and his family." suggested Kooper.

"That's not gonna work! Once Bowser and his kids are dead, Trowzer's coming for us. He probably already is; that guy Mallick tried to kill you guys already from what you've told me and he was working for Trowzer, right?" said Blaze.

"…So what are we supposed to do?"

Meanwhile, back in Trowzer's castle, Trowzer was handing a couple of moneybags to one of his mercenaries, a dark koopa named Elark.

"So there were no hitches in the plan, right?" asked Trowzer.

"You know how I work. I don't stop until I find my target and take it out. It's what bounty koopas do."

Trowzer chuckled. "I suppose you're right. Pretty clever of you pretending to be a part of Bowser's entourage."

"How else was I supposed to plant the bombs without being spotted? Parachuting was the hard part. It's not easy to safely land in Pyramid Park without those chain-chomps catching wind of your scent."

"Maybe I'll be requiring your services in the future…" contemplated Trowzer.

"Yes, you have plenty of money to go around!" he chuckled.

Elark took his moneybags and walked out of Trowzer's chamber while Trowzer took out his cellphone and made a phone call.

"How's it going over there?"

The creature on the other end of the line was talking inside a dark office with the door locked. The creature laughed.

"They don't even know about me yet. I thought the Great Plumber would be able to see through me."

"So your cover's intact?"

"Yes. There's no evidence pointing out that I was the one who set the bombs on Iggy's airship." said Blaze.

Trowzer chuckled evilly. "Everything's going as planned."

"…Not exactly. The DPD did inform Mario and his gang about you and they're pretty confident that you were the one who murdered Yellow and hired someone to kill Iggy."

"Why didn't you stop them?!" growled Trowzer.

"I'm in a police station! What do you want me to do, wave two Uzis around and hope a Pianta officer doesn't blast my brains away with a shotgun?"

"Mario and his cronies knowing about me don't help the situation, now does it?

"Trowzer, they think I'm with them. They think I'm on their side. All you gotta do is tell me to kill them and I'll do it."

"And you won't have any problems?"

Blaze scoffed. "It's a koopa, a doll, and two plumbers."

"They have done sufficient damage to Bowser's league. Not to mention they blew one of my hitkoopas sky high."

"Trowzer you're talking to a guy who can fart fire out of his ass."

"My brother and I do that too."

"Shut up."

"Just pan this out a little longer. In due time, you'll be able to kill Mario and his partners. For now…we need to begin Phase Two of our plan."

"Gotcha."

Blaze hung up his cellphone and returned to Mario and the rest of the gang, sitting back down in front of the DPD captain in a casual fashion.