A/N: Sorry for my late updates. Just been busy with schoolwork. So here's another chapter.
A million thanks to everyone who read, reviewed and put this story on alert and as a favourite.
As always, big thanks to my awesome beta, Mariana75.
Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all Twilight characters.
Chapter 25:
Bella
After I got back home, I laid down on my bed, without changing my clothes or even bothering to take off my shoes. My head hurt from all the thoughts that were reeling and lurching inside of me. I pressed my fingers to my temples, hoping to get rid of the searing pain, but to no avail. I felt torn between having the urge to either laugh or burst hysterically into tears. For the hundredth time, I felt my hand trailing along my lips as I recalled that afternoon kiss. And like an endless cycle, I sat up on my bed, while I waited for fresh tears to start rolling down my cheeks, once again.
As expected, a second later, I was crying my heart out. In the darkness of my room, I sat with my head in my hands, biting on my lip and weeping like a baby.
I had absolutely no clue as to why I was crying. Was it because of the fact that, right after Edward kissed me, I decided to leave? Which consequently brought me to ponder on something else that I have been trying to put off for later speculation: Why exactly did I run away from him?
I tried to come up with several reasons. Firstly, I was very much certain that the kiss didn't mean as much to him as it did to me. Of course, I recognized that the way his body responded to me was just how human males reacted to women, in general. However, when I kissed him, I was thinking of the first time I had set my eyes on him; the way he made my insides squirm with just a glance and the way my body had melted when he had finally touched me. For the entire time the kiss lasted, all ten seconds of it, I kept chanting three words repetitively, in my head, like a mantra: I love you, I love you, I love you….
As for him, I was pretty sure that sentiment was the farthest thing from his mind. Obviously, he was still grieving his wife and unborn child. That is why I knew and firmly believed that it would be excruciatingly painful for him to move on, not to mention, it would probably take him a lot of time to do so too. And thus, before he could take things further- because I was sure that just for the sake of being polite, he would never break up the kiss I had initiated- I knew I was the one who had to put an end to it.
And that was undoubtedly the most difficult thing I had to do, ever, in my whole, albeit short, life. Nonetheless, I forced myself to leave because I couldn't bear the fact he didn't the feel same way I felt when we kissed, that he didn't want me as I wanted him, and escaping that blissful torment was the best thing I could come up with at that time.
The second probable reason was that I felt like I was betraying the trust Renee had put on me. I had promised her that nothing was happening between us: which is why my dear mother trusted me blindly and didn't question me about the afternoons I spent alone in an exceptionally handsome widower's apartment, with said exceptionally handsome widower. I knew I was an adult and was at complete liberty to do whatever I felt like, but I was aware of my limitations. I was brought up with certain values and principles and I wouldn't go against them.
When I ran out of my reasons and tears for my running away, I realized I was like a complete mess. So I got up and discarded my dress on the floor. I stepped into the shower and turned on the freezing cold water in full force. The cool water helped me calm my nerves and when I was done showering, I felt immensely better. I walked out of the bathroom, picked up the dress I had worn earlier and, in a weird impulse, smelled it. Hmm, a slight trace of his scent was still in there….
That was when I caught my reflection in the mirror hung on the wall in front of me. What was I doing, sniffing my dress, for heaven's sake? My eyes widened in horror as I realized that I was on the verge of losing it completely.
I was a 23-year-old college graduate who had a loving family, a wonderful job and was going away to NYU within a few months for my post grad degree. Then what on earth was I doing obsessing over Edward Cullen, a mournful widower, who, for what I had witnessed, had no chance of ever loving someone again the way he loved his deceased wife? I was just asking for a broken heart and an impossible love.
I threw my dress into the laundry stack, mentally resolving to wash off every remaining trace of his smell from it.
This was one of those rare moments when I wished that I had a bunch of cool girlfriends with whom I could share sad and pathetic stories over a round of piña coladas. I had some, way back in college, but they had all moved to different states and we eventually lost contact. Nevertheless, I grabbed my phone from the bed stand, intending on scrolling down the list, hoping to find someone with whom I could strike up a meaningless conversation, just to get my mind off of things.
I stopped at the first name in my phonebook. After hesitating for a moment, I pressed on the 'call' button.
Someone answered after the phone rang three times.
"Hello?" It was a deep male voice.
"Um, hi. Is this Alice's number?" I asked, almost certain that I had dialled the wrong number.
The voice on the other end chuckled. "Yes, it is. Actually, Alice is a bit….busy right now. Oh no, wait, she's back. Here, talk to her."
I waited as he handed her the phone.
"Bella? Is that you?" Alice asked with uncertainty in her voice. She must have seen my name on her caller id.
"Yes. Hi, Alice. I am sorry to bother you on a weekend. I just…" I trailed off, not sure what I wanted to say.
"Yes, go on," she insisted.
That's when I heard a child screaming through the phone.
"I am sorry, is this a bad time? I could call later," I said, now wishing that I hadn't called.
"Wait a sec," she said. Then I heard her screaming, "JASPER? CAN YOU GET THAT BOY TO SHUT IT FOR AT LEAST A MOMENT?"
I heard her sigh heavily after the screaming stopped. "Seriously, younger brothers are a nightmare. So, you were saying?"
"Actually I didn't have anything particular in mind. I just decided to call up and see what you were up to," I said nonchalantly.
She remained silent for a moment. Then she replied, saying, "You know what? Let me give you my address so you can get here. Then we can go out and do something. How does that sound?"
I heaved a sigh in relief. "Sounds perfect."
I put on a sequined top with a black, fitted skirt. I matched the outfit with my peep-toes and let my wet hair down. I felt too tired to put any make-up on, so I grabbed my purse and coat and headed outside.
It took me a twenty minute cab ride to reach Alice's apartment in Bronx. I rushed up the stairs and knocked on the door.
A tall blond man opened the door. He was dressed in a plain white shirt and blue jeans and was quite good-looking. Even though I knew he was here, I had to step back in surprise when I saw him.
"Hey! You must be Bella. I know you, but I am not sure if you know me," he said, sounding hesitant.
"Jasper Whitlock, right?" I said as he opened the door wider and stood aside to let me in. "I do know you," I said with a smile. "My boss has been pretty impressed with your work and I can say that I completely agree. Your pictures are fantastic!"
"Well, as introductions go, that sure was easy," he said and laughed in a good-natured way. I had seen him only once during Alice's photo shoot but hadn't paid enough attention to make any judgement. Now that I knew he and Alice had a history together, he seemed a much more intriguing character. He must have had some worthwhile qualities that had made someone like Alice fall for him.
He led me to an open living room with light, warm coloured couches with a beige carpet underneath. Joined to the living room was a corridor, which, I assumed, led to the bedrooms. From inside that area, I could hear a child wailing. Jasper noticed me looking at the corridor as I sat down.
"Ethan is being a bit difficult. You see, the two boys have a mutual friend's birthday party to go to, but, Ethan wants to go dressed up as Batman. Alice has been trying to make him understand for the past one hour that it's not actually a costume party," he said with a chuckle.
That was when the person in question zoomed out, wearing nothing but a pair of shorts, with his eyes all puffy and red. He was soon followed by a disgruntled looking Alice, who held some clothes in her hands.
"I am not wearing those!" Ethan said haughtily, pointing at the clothes in Alice's hands with his fingers and glaring at them with fury in his eyes.
I smiled at this. The boy was no more than seven and resembled Alice in some ways. They shared the same shade of hair colour and his angry-face was almost identical as his sister's. Alice returned the glare with equal intensity and replied, "Fine then! You can go there, wearing those shorts. But you are not wearing that ridiculous Bat-suit!"
Jasper got up from the chair he had occupied and walked over to the fighting duo. He knelt down before Ethan and I was suddenly reminded of the first day I had met Edward, at the orphanage, when he had knelt just like that in front of Jess. Jasper had the same look of adoration for the boy before him that Edward had had for Jess. I quickly shook my head to bring my focus back to the present.
"How about you wear your beloved Bat-suit to some other party, where it will be more appropriate?" Jasper said. When he was met with an unwavering stare, he continued, "You know what? I know this great place where they hold costume parties for kids, during Halloween. Wouldn't it be nice to save your Bat-suit for that occasion, huh buddy?" he said, with a huge smile.
Ethan scrunched up his face as he thought it through. Alice stepped forward and knelt down like Jasper and slowly whispered, "Doesn't that sound really nice? To hold the surprise of your costume until Halloween for all your friends to see?"
"But Halloween is still four months away," the boy said with an adorable pout on his face, but I could see that he was already liking the idea.
"Yes, but in the meantime we can get you a matching cape and mask," Jasper added with a smirk, knowing that with that final sentence, the battle was won.
Ethan dropped his shoulders in defeat and sighed, suddenly seeming more mature than his age. "All right, I'll wear the boring clothes," he said, motioning towards the garments Alice still clutched in her hands.
Alice smiled widely and hugged her little brother. Jasper got up with a smile plastered on his handsome face as he looked at the two people before him with nothing but love in his eyes.
All of a sudden, I began feeling like I was totally invading their privacy. I squirmed in my seat, feeling rather uncomfortable, for prying into something so personal.
Alice looked up to where I sat and smiled at me. Jasper saw that and he said to Ethan, "Let's get you ready, then, shall we?" The boy nodded and Jasper took his hand. Alice handed Jasper the boy's clothes and they both left the living room.
Alice walked over towards me and flopped down on the couch, facing me. "Sorry about that. He's the troublemaker. Robbie, the older one, doesn't give me that much of a hard time." She paused and wiped some beads of perspiration from her brow. "So, after we drop them off at their friend's house, Jasper and I are going to go and get some drinks. You are coming with us."
And just like that, she assumed I would oblige to her wishes. She didn't think it was necessary to give me a choice. That was one of the reasons I was so fond of this eccentric, vertically challenged person.
"So, you and Jasper are back together, huh?" I asked, finally. She smiled a little and shrugged. "I don't know how to reply to that. He just called me today, out of the blue, asking me if I wanted to go out. Then I told him my brother was being annoying and within half-an-hour, he showed up at my door. And now," she motioned towards the way they had left with her thumb, "he also seems to be able to pacify that little devil of a brother that I have. Something, that even with years of experience under my belt, I still haven't quite figured it out how to do it just yet."
She then got up, saying she needed to change. That was when Jasper came out, with Ethan hanging from one his arms. He was laughing. The change in his expression was remarkable. I guessed that was one of the best things about being a child: one quickly forgets their sorrows.
Following Jasper, another boy entered the living room, who I assumed to be Robbie. He looked around eleven, had dark hair and a very calm face. He was exceptionally quiet, in contrast to Ethan's loud nature.
Jasper settled Ethan on a couch and motioned Robbie to come forward. "Boys, this is Alice's friend, Bella. Say hi to her."
Ethan got on his feet, came forward and stood right in front of me. He reached his hand out, touched my hair and dropped his jaw, dramatically. I laughed at his expression. "Wow, you are prr-eeee-tty!" he said, pronouncing the word in three syllables, with a huge smile on his face.
I laughed harder and nudged the boy's chin, saying, "Well, you are quite handsome yourself, Ethan." He blushed and I ruffled his hair playfully. His brother, who was still standing next to Jasper, said in a timid voice, "Hi."
Alice came out next, wearing a silk halter top with her usual skinny jeans. I threw a glance at Jasper's direction just in time to note his admiring gaze. Alice seemed oblivious to that. She was busy shoving her keys and phone into her purse and was simultaneously shouting at her brothers.
"C'mon, you two," she said to her brothers. "Let's go, Bella."
We dropped the two boys at a house a few blocks from Alice's. Jasper then drove us to a Pizza Corner in Allerton Avenue, saying that we needed a bite to eat before hitting the pub.
The restaurant was swarming with customers since it was a Sunday night, so after waiting there for twenty minutes, we finally managed to get ourselves a table. After we settled down, Jasper's phone rang and he excused himself to take the call.
That's when Alice sprang at me. "So, what came up, all of a sudden?"
I bit on my lip as I deliberated a proper answer. "Before I tell you that, first I have to say how sorry I am for ruining your night with Jasper. You two have been apart for so long and I'm quite certain that Jasper must be feeling rather annoyed by my presence here."
"Shut up, that's not even an issue. Actually, I was quite relieved when you called. I didn't want to go out with him alone after all this time. Things would have been terribly awkward between us if you weren't here," she said, with a sheepish grin.
"Yes, but you two need to talk things out," I replied.
"We have plenty of time for that. Now, let's go back to the previous topic, quickly, before he comes back. What made you call me, on a Sunday afternoon, that couldn't wait until tomorrow when we met at work?"
I took one deep breath and said the words out in a rush: "Edward and I kissed and I ran away." I felt a tremendous amount of relief after saying those words out loud, which in turn, made me realize how exceedingly glad I was that it was Alice whom I had called in the first place.
Alice took a sharp intake of breath at that. However, she didn't get the chance to say anything because at that moment, Jasper returned after finishing his phone conversation.
"Sorry about that," he said while sitting down. Neither Alice nor I said anything in response, so he swivelled his head first in Alice's direction and then in mine. "What did I miss?" he asked, perplexed.
"Nothing," Alice replied, calmly. Then she reached out and picked up the menu off the table, saying, "Let's order. I'm starving."
We quickly finished eating. Jasper wouldn't let me pay for my share, saying that it was his treat and I reluctantly accepted his offer. Next, we walked to a pub that was a few blocks away from the Pizza Corner.
Thankfully, the place wasn't as crowded as the restaurant. We found ourselves a table near a small stage, right beside the left wall, which left us rather far of all the commotion from the bar and the people that went to the bathroom. Alice and Jasper both ordered a beer while I settled for a martini. A jazz band was playing on the stage in front of us and while we all listened to the music, none of us felt the need to fill the silence with unnecessary small talk. When Jasper seemed completely engrossed in the music and wasn't paying attention to us, Alice scooted her chair closer to mine and said just as I was taking a sip of my drink, "Well, that was not very sensible of you."
I choked on my martini and started coughing. Thankfully, Jasper didn't take any notice of that or this was just his way of surreptitiously giving us some privacy.
"What do you mean?" I managed to ask, between coughing fits. Alice sighed and replied, "I mean that you should not have run away,"
"Then what else was I supposed to do?" I asked a bit too harshly. I felt irritated.
"Bella," she said, "You need to understand that Edward is not one of those guys who goes around kissing random women."
"You think I don't know that?" I almost shouted. I hoped my voice would be drowned by the music. Yet, I couldn't bring myself to really care about that. I was too angry now.
Alice sighed again. "Please, calm down. Jeez, Bella, now your temper is almost as bad as Edward's."
"You are not helping the situation, Alice," I muttered through gritted teeth.
"Will you stop interrupting me? All I am trying to tell you is that you should have stayed behind," I opened my mouth to argue, but she held up her hand, "because, you needed to talk to him, about what happened."
"There is nothing to talk about," I said with a sigh. "Obviously, this entire situation is a much bigger deal for me than it is for him. I was not about to embarrass myself further by demanding explanations about it."
Alice started shaking her head in resigned disbelief. Then, when we heard everyone around us applauding, we both turned our heads towards the stage. It seemed like the band was done performing for the night. Sure enough, the lead singer came forward and took the microphone in his hands.
"Thank you all for enjoying our music so much. That will be all for tonight, but, as you all know, tonight is k-a-r-a-o-k-e night." He sang the word, did a little dance move and the crowd cheered happily. "So, to start this with a bang, I'm gonna pick one of you to come on stage and sing your heart out. C'mon, any volunteer to be the first one on stage tonight?"
And the next moment, seeing that no one else raised their hands or made an attempt to come over to him, he threw the microphone into Jasper's hands, who was sitting closest to the stage. The crowd went wild and poor Jasper looked terrified. He remained in his seat, but the singer came down and started pulling Jasper's arms. I heard Alice's frantic cries, "Stop it! He can't sing. No, seriously, he can't!" But no one paid attention to her. Within a few seconds, Jasper was standing in the middle of the stage, with the microphone in his hands, looking flabbergasted. He reacted only after he was asked what would be his song request, to which he replied quietly though loud enough for the people in charge to catch the name and nod in acquiescence.
Nevertheless, he put the microphone in the stand, took a deep breath and looked at the television screen at the corner, which displayed the lyrics. As the piano intro began, a hush fell over the crowd and the lights were dimmed, leaving a single soft spotlight on Jasper. This filled the ambiance with a sort of French-bohemian aura. After clearing his throat once, he did his best impression of Bob Dylan.
When
the rain is blowing in your face When the evening shadows and the stars appear I know you haven't
made your mind up yet
And the whole world is on your
case
I could offer you a warm embrace
To make you feel my
love
And
there is no one there to dry your tears
I could hold you for a
million years
To make you feel my love
But I would never do you wrong
I've known
it from the moment that we met
No doubt in my mind where you
belong
Next, I swept my eyes over the audience surrounding us. They seemed to be enthralled by Jasper's voice. He also seemed to have gathered a few female fans as well, and one of them, a redhead, seemed particularly more impressed than the others. Alice's eyes followed mine and landed on her as she walked over and sat down at the empty chair nearest to the stage. The girl flicked her hair and batted her eyelashes at Jasper. Beside me, I saw Alice's hands balled up into a fist as she glared at the redhead.
I'd
go hungry, I'd go black and blue
I'd go crawling down the
avenue
There's nothing that I wouldn't do
To make you feel my
love
Jasper finished his song and a defeaning round of applause began. I saw both the redhead and Alice getting up from their seats. But Alice reached Jasper first as he was coming down the stage. I was sure she had meant to put a swift peck on his cheek, just to let the other women, especially the redhead, know that he was taken. However, Jasper misunderstood the action, or just deliberatley made a better use of the oppurtunity. Alice placed a hand on his shoulder and reached out to kiss his cheek, but, Jasper turned his face at the last moment, which inevitable made Alice find his lips. And what began as a small, innocent kiss, soon enough, built up in intensity, making me a witness of what years of pent up love and separation can do to a couple.
If the crowd had gone wild earlier, it was nothing compared to the way they reacted now. Everyone cheered even more enthusiastically and some even wolf-whistled. Jasper wound his arms around Alice's tiny waist and almost effortlessly lifted her feet off the ground. I couldn't help but smile while looking at them.
And just like that, the two made up. No words were spoken, no explanations were needed.
A/N: So, no Edward in this chapter. But plenty of Alice and Jasper. So tell me if you liked it, or not..