Chapter 25

Surprising Truths, Ongoing Angst

The radio began to blare with a far-too-happy early morning DJ announcing with nauseating amounts of enthusiasm, "Looks like kids get to sleep in this morning! Two inches of snow and the whole city has shut down. Easiest way to give you school closures is this: Assume yours is closed. The list is too long to read." He looked at the clock: 7:00. Alex hit the snooze button and rolled over to snuggle with Jo as he began to wake up. Finding himself in bed alone, he remembered that she'd left earlier. All I want to do right now is hold her, he thought.

As he half-slept, Alex's mind wandered through the events of the last 36 hours. He'd come home from the hospital, eager to share an interesting journal article with Jo, but he never found time to tell Jo about what he'd read. The pregnancy test and the bedlam that followed took over the night. First, he was convinced the test belonged to Charlotte and he lost his temper with her. He thought, I don't even know what to feel right now. Holy crap. I assumed my kid had taken a pregnancy test even though she's told me over and over she hasn't had sex with Richie Rich. What kind of Dad am I?

Considering the rest of last night, Alex pondered how Jo said it was her test. His heart skipped a beat at the thought. They had been secretly and quietly trying for so long. When she grabbed that test, his emotions had flown from anger to a mixture of fear, joy and anticipation. Seeing Jo shake her head, his feelings plummeted to the disappointment that had become all too familiar.

Alex rolled over and turned off the alarm before the annoying DJ blared again. Maybe I can take Spider out to breakfast or something. We could sit down and talk without the drama, he considered. He rubbed his eyes and grabbed the hair on the top of his head as he attempted to wake up. As he schlepped into the bathroom, he saw a note from Jo taped to the mirror, Took C with me. See you at hospital. XXOO. J. Alex, puzzled, wondered how Jo had managed to convince Charlotte to get moving at 4:30 in the morning on a school day. He shrugged and figured he'd find out later.

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Neither Charlotte nor Jo said much after they realized they shared a strange reality tied to a 3 week time frame. Jo led the way as they headed into the hospital, Charlotte slowly and silently trailing behind her. As Jo slipped into scrubs, she instructed, "This will be just like other times you've gone on rounds with me or your dad – just wait in the hallway while we're with the patient unless I invite you in specifically. Charlotte nodded as she yawned. She had no desire for conversation. Quietly following her mom through the hallway during pre-rounds was enough stimulation for Charlotte in the early morning hours.

Jo, on an ortho rotation, led her interns around the halls as they prepared to gather the latest data to share with Callie later. This morning, Jo planned to have the interns present the bullets. She assured them that she'd shadow them on pre-rounds and help them fill in any blanks if they forgot a detail here or there. Coming in so early wasn't her first choice of ways to spend the morning, but Jo wanted to make sure the interns were ready and confident. Truth be told, Jo didn't do it just to help them look good. She did it knowing their prep and abilities to present would reflect on her as a resident and teacher. As much as she liked to hold her own and navigate her own way through residency, this was one piece of Alex's frequent unsolicited advice that she deeply appreciated.

In full doctor mode, Jo found it easy to set aside the chaos of previous night and the shock of her early morning, eye opening conversation with Charlotte. The two numbly accompanied one another through the normal morning routines of the hospital as the morning fog outside reflected their states of mind.

As Jo and the interns entered another room, Charlotte plopped into an empty chair at a nearby nurses' station as she rested her head on the back of the chair and closed her eyes. Sitting down gave her time to process. When Jo had told Charlotte she was 3 weeks late, Charlotte found herself so surprised. The idea that Alex and Jo would even consider having a child seemed like such a remote possibility to Charlotte. They certainly have enough sex to make it possible, but…eewww…the added thought that they might actually have a baby together when their other daughter is 16 is beyond gross, Charlotte determined.

Danielle Rosen, a 2nd year resident who had met Charlotte a number of times, came over and gently kicked Charlotte's foot with a firm, "Wake up, kiddo." Jo had sent Danielle over.

Charlotte's sleepy eyes opened slowly as Charlotte responded, "Oh, hey. Hi Dr. Rosen. I guess I fell asleep."

"Yep," Danielle confirmed and warned, "and your mom seems about as happy about that as she'd be if I fell asleep during rounds."

Charlotte, her face looking just like her father's, lifted half her mouth up and lifted her eyebrows as she stretched and responded, "That's not good."

Jo called from further down the hallway, "Rosen, Karev, let's go." Charlotte absolutely detested it when Jo called her out publicly, especially when she treated her like one of her interns. Danielle, feeling sorry for the kid and wondering what she'd done this time to be expected to tag along on pre-rounds, held down a hand to help Charlotte stand up.

As they caught up to the group, Charlotte listened to Jo the Doctor snap, "It's an open fracture, Jones. Don't refer to it as a complete break that tore through the skin. First off, that takes too long, and, second, it makes you sound like you ordered your medical degree over the internet." Charlotte rolled her eyes as Danielle smirked and as the interns all rapidly made note of Jo's words. Then Jo added, "Ok, Dr. Torres should be here in about 45 minutes. Do whatever you need to do to be ready to go when you're paged." The interns scrambled in various directions as Jo silently observed their choices: some to grab a few winks in an on call room, others to grab some breakfast, and others to the research library. Jo turned to Danielle and asked, "Rosen, what did you think?"

"They did fairly well, Dr. Karev," Rosen assessed. "Working on using more formal presentation styles seems like the next best step."

"Agreed," Jo nodded. "Spend some time with them on that after this morning. Note examples during rounds. Depending upon her mood, Torres may or may not call those out, but I want you to have a solid record of what was said." Rosen nodded as she stepped away, secretly seeking to connect with her boyfriend before rounds.

"And as for you, Sleeping Beauty," Jo sighed, "How are you holding up?"

Charlotte shrugged, "Fine. Just tired."

Jo led the way toward the Residents' Lounge as she inquired, "I heard you getting sick last night."

"Yeah, I've been barfing on and off since yesterday morning. No biggie," Charlotte said.

Jo stopped and turned to face Charlotte, visually examining her in the middle of the hallway for all to see. She palpated Charlotte's neck and then grabbed a tongue depressor. Charlotte tried to speak as Jo insisted she say 'aaahhhhh' and held open Charlotte's jaw, "Mawwwmmm.. Immmm iiiine."

Jo lowered her brow seriously as she pinched the skin on the top of Charlotte's hand and watched how long it took to return to normal, "I'm not so sure. Let's pop down to the ER and do a quick workup."

Charlotte groaned internally. She knew Jo would over-react if she mentioned being sick. As they stepped onto the elevator, they joined Alex, Derek, Amelia, and Callie.

Alex smiled as he saw his ladies. He headed toward Charlotte to give her a hug, momentarily forgetting how upset they were at one another, "Hey, Spider!" On his way to his daughter, Alex held out hand and grasped Jo's hand in his.

Jo gave Alex a peck on the cheek and explained, "We were going to head downstairs to check Charlotte out. She seems a little dehydrated."

"Ummm….Mom." Charlotte stated firmly, "Aren't there privacy laws about this? Do you really need to announce your over-reactive medical paranoia to every one?" Derek, Amelia and Callie exchanged glances.

Alex decided to look like the good cop as he actually became the bad cop. He hugged Charlotte and said boisterously, "Aww, c'mon, Spider. It's all good." Then he whispered very quietly in her ear, "Don't call her out in front of other docs ever. Got it?" Charlotte nodded.

Derek put an arm around Amelia and leaned his head on top of hers saying lightly, "Ah, family. Can't live with 'em, can't kill 'em, right Charlotte?" Amelia and Callie laughed a little too much, trying to cover the awkwardness. Charlotte grinned at Derek as Jo stared forward at the elevator doors, seething at being called out in front of the neurosurgeons and her current boss.

The elevator doors began to open and Callie asked Jo, "Are your interns ready to present? I'm tired and I haven't had any coffee yet. Please don't tell me I'll have a headache on top of all this after rounds."

The other attendings smiled with understanding as Alex pulled a $20 bill out his wallet and taunted Callie, "You out of money already this month, Torres? I'll spring for your coffee."

Jo responded as if her smart ass husband wasn't there, "They're ready, Dr. Torres." Jo looked at her watch and confirmed, "I'll see you upstairs in 15?"

"Give me 20. The coffee cart line will probably be long," Callie said. Alex was putting his wallet back in his pocket when Callie said, "No, Boy Karev, I meant you give me 20…I've got to bribe my way to the front of the line," Callie said as she grabbed the $20 bill Alex was holding, drug herself off the elevator and walked toward the smell of java. Callie called back over her shoulder, "Girl Karev – yeah, I'll see you in 15."

Derek joked as Alex stood wondering how he just got taken, "Got any more money to give away?"

"No," Alex growled. "Get outta here and go fix somebody's brain," he said with a grin.

"Oh, that's my job," Amelia said as she handed Derek a $10 bill. "Derek's no longer the head of neuro – now he's my coffee slut."

Alex grinned mightily as Amelia won the round against her brother. The siblings both headed toward the coffee as Derek whined, "Amy, I don't want your money and I'm not getting your coffee."

Amelia groaned, "It was a joke, Derek. Get over yourself."

"Oh," Derek said blankly.

Meanwhile, Jo was navigating Charlotte toward a bed behind one of the curtains as she said, "Alex, do you have a minute to help me?"

Alex, realizing Charlotte was completely horrified at being drug to the ER, suggested, "Why don't you go upstairs and make sure your interns are all there when Callie gets there. I'll tag team you with this one."

Jo reluctantly agreed. As he attempted to shine a light in Charlotte's eyes as she turned away from him, Alex called out, "Oh, hey, and I need you to consult on a patient in 1622. Meet there at, say, 10?" Jo nodded and smiled. 1622 was their code for a particular on call room.

Alex turned to Charlotte who had quickly taken advantage of the empty bed and hopped onto it. "So, Spider, why did she drag you down here?" Alex asked with complete confusion. He palpated her neck and raised one of her eyelids with his thumb.

Realizing she had her chance to avoid being patient-of-the-day, Charlotte rolled her eyes and said, "Oh, Dad, I don't know. I probably blinked too long or sniffled mid-sentence."

Alex chuckled and offered, "You want to follow me to a consult on a kid with a nasty sore throat?"

"Not particularly. Can I just go home and go back to bed?" Charlotte begged.

"I dunno," Alex said, "Why did you come in with Mom?"

"I think she just wanted to harass me for not having school. She also wanted to talk about last night, which we already did on the way here," Charlotte put forward.

"I'd like to talk about that too, but I can't right now," Alex explained as he reached into his lab coat for his car keys. "Do you feel comfortable driving in the snow?"

Charlotte nodded, knowing she didn't. Wanting desperately to be at home in her own bed, she'd try anything. She held out her hand, but then Alex thought twice and put the keys back in his pocket, "Nah, she'll freak if she knows I let you drive in this weather at rush hour. Go upstairs and crash on the couch in the Attendings' Lounge. They all know you, nobody will bug you in there."

"Thanks, Dad." Charlotte said gratefully.

"Lunch, though, we're doing lunch and then we're talking. I'll come get you," Alex explained. Charlotte was already standing up and just nodded in response.

Alex was in 'Room 1622' by 9:45. His residents and interns experienced the briefest rounds of their lives that morning as Alex rushed through each case. He'd sent them off to various patients and slid away from Peds as quickly as he could.

Lately, Jo and Alex had found the on call room offered more privacy than their own home. Charlotte had basically lived in her room with her door open during the last three weeks so that her grounded presence was constantly obvious. Not wanting to fight that battle, Alex resigned to it even though he and Jo were constantly whispering and trying to have quiet, basic, no-noise sex at home.

Jo slipped in at 10:05, locked the door behind her, and said in a playful voice, "Dr. Karev, you asked for an ortho consult?"

"Yes, I've got this one bone I need examined thoroughly," Alex began with a 7th grade penis reference.

Jo frowned, "Oh, that's corny, Alex. Way to ruin the mood."

Alex jumped out of bed, grabbed Jo and brought her down on top of him, saying, "That's how desperate I am to hear you scream."

Jo laughed but explained, "Well that's not going to happen in here either. You'll have to spring for a hotel room for that." By the time she finished her sentence, Alex was already propping her up on top of him and raising his eyebrows in a flirty expression. Jo added, "So you want me to do all the work, huh?" Alex grinned and nodded as he kissed his wife's body.

After 45 minutes of switching places, rolling into various positions, and somehow ending up together on the floor, Jo and Alex caught their breath and caressed one another.

Jo tenderly asked, "How are you feeling about last night?"

"Hell if I know," Alex began, "The whole thing was crazy. Lots of emotions."

"Yeah," Jo said, unsure where to go from there.

"So you really thought you might be pregnant?" Alex asked.

Jo sighed with resignation, "I've learned not to get my hopes up in the last 18 months."

Alex stoked Jo's hair and encouraged her, "It'll happen. You're just working too much. Life's just been too stressful."

Jo looked at Alex sadly and suggested, "I think we need to consult an OB, Alex. We've been trying for a long time. I'm three weeks late, but I don't have any other signs. My cycle is totally out of whack. Something's gotta be wrong."

Alex kissed Jo gently and softly said, "Shhhhhh… no need to worry. Give it time."

Jo looked desperately at Alex and reminded him, "I have given it time."

Alex just sighed and looked at her as he thought silently about calling Addison for input. At the same time, he was terrified to consult with her or any other OB because that might mean there was really some solid reason why Jo hadn't gotten pregnant yet. Even though he knew better, he preferred to remain in denial rather than having someone do a workup and find out the issue. He simply couldn't handle one more challenge or one more issue right now. Subtly shifting to a related subject, Alex asked, "How do you think Charlotte would handle it if we had a baby?"

"I think she would find it really challenging to have to share the spotlight," Jo declared. Alex didn't respond as he considered Jo's words. She was likely correct, but he wanted to hold on to an idyllic image of what his family life could become.

After snuggling together in the quiet for a while, Jo, choosing her words carefully, shared, "For months, I've tried so hard to figure out my role in Charlotte's life. When I've been more removed and deferred to you being the clear primary parent, she's seemed hungry for connection from me or completely repulsed by my presence. Since we've talked about me adopting her, I've tried to be more of a co-parent. I feel like she not only sees me as sleeping with the enemy now, but also as a traitor who's joined the dark side."

Alex leaned his head down to gaze at the top of Jo's head and stroked her hair, "Has it really been that bad?"

Jo's voice cracked the slightest bit, "At times."

"I'm so sorry I brought this whole situation into our lives and marriage. I love my daughter, I'm not saying I don't. But it's hard to imagine how different our lives would be right now if Charlotte hadn't moved in right after we were married. It's like our focus went from being on us to all about Charlotte all the time," Alex shared.

Jo kissed him as she moved her body back onto his, whispering seductively, "How much time do you have?"

"For you? I've got all the time in the world." Alex laughed as he flipped her onto her back in one fell swoop and began the day's second round.

In the middle of sex, Alex's pager sounded and so did Alex as he grumbled, "Crap. What now?" He leaned down to see that he was being paged to the ER, but it was for a consult. Jo had started to sit up, assuming Alex would have to leave. Instead, Alex put his arms on her shoulders and guided her down as he resumed and asked, "Now where were we?"

Jo tried to speak as Alex kissed her, "Don't you have to answer that?"

Alex said, "It's a consult, not an emergency."

Fifteen minutes later, they had just finished and his pager sounded again with the same message. Alex frowned and said, "Ok, now I gotta go." He gave Jo a peck on the cheek and jumped into his scrub pants. He leaned down to grab his top and accidentally grabbed Jo's, getting stuck in the tiny garment. "Crap," he grumbled with aggravation, "Can you help me?"

Jo laughed and said, "Yeah, eventually, after I tire of watching you squirm."

"C'mon. Some kid is down there waiting for their doctor and he's…ummm… stuck in his wife's scrub top. Not a reassuring image for a doctor," Alex said as Jo stood up fully naked and maneuvered the shirt off his arms and head.

Jo kissed him as she handed him his scrub top and said with resignation, "Maybe this is why I haven't had any babies – my hands are full taking care of you and Charlotte as it is."

Alex threw on his lab coat and looked back at her with a reassuring smile as he headed toward the door, "Don't say that. I want babies with you. I don't stop until I get what I want. That means lots of sex in our future." He smiled out of the side of his mouth and left the room.