Study in Romance
Disclaimer: The works of Detective Conan and Magic Kaito belongs to Gosho Aoyama-sensei.
Warning: KaiShin relationship.
A/N: I nearly had a big BIG plot hole here, had to fill it up hastily. And more dove interaction since a commenter has mentioned the adorableness of those fluffy assistants.
Ch21: Two sides of a coin
Kaito refrained himself from stomping hard onto the wooden floor. He paid very little mind as he walked down the dark corridor, a similar reflection to his current emotions, passed the long staircase, and automatically pulled on his shoes. He crossed the threshold to the front gardens as the clouds began to gather overhead. The pair of Kudo parents greeted him as he was about to enter Jii's car who just returned after the trip back to the hospital, asking about the detective's wellbeing. Kaito muttered a generic greeting alongside with equally generic words of health before asking Jii to speedily return to Ekoda where normalcy (or relative normalcy) reigned. Throughout the journey, Jii cast worried glances at the back mirror but never spoke or asked Kaito.
"Thanks for the lift Jii-chan." Kaito remembered to thank him for his service. After all, the elderly man took the time from his shop to come pick him up and drive them all the way to Beika and back.
"Not a problem Bocchama. Though…" He glanced up at Kaito's face, possibly noticing the various cracks and fractures in his Poker Face. "Are you well?"
"I'll be fine after a good night's sleep. Just...exhaustion in general." He sighed, slumping his shoulders. "I'll probably text you in a couple of days, or maybe drop by the Blue Parrot, to finalise a heist or something. Must keep them on their toes."
"Alright Bocchama. Take care of yourself." At least the elderly man knew when to ask and when to stay silent, giving Kaito the much needed peace to sort out some of his thoughts.
Kaito was lucky as he crossed the front gardens as Aoko did not seem to be home (else she would have called out to him). He realised he had been neglecting her lately in favour of spending more time with Irie Shiina. Entering the silent house, Kaito wondered where his mother was. He called out the customary "I'm back" on the off-chance that she would be home.
Fortunately (or perhaps unfortunately in today's case) his mother was no where to be seen. He had hoped that he might find a confident in her today.
His feet felt heavy as he dragged himself up the stairs, and immediately collapsed onto his bed. Staring at the large poster of his father, he wished that the old man was still alive to at least offer some sort of advice. Instead, several of his doves somehow seemed to have sensed his distress and flew over to rest by his pillows, gently nudging at his cheeks.
"Hey." He called out weakly, fingers stretching to stroke the belly feathers of the nearest dove. She cooed, much like how a cat would purr in satisfaction. "Nice to know at least I'm appreciated by you."
The dove tipped her head to the side as though understanding Kaito's words. Though he did not doubt that they possibly did understand the human language, after all his doves were a smart lot.
"It's nothing really, just perhaps confused that's all." He sat up, leaning against the head of the bed as he cradled the bird in his palms. He let his thumbs glide over the back along the spine. "I just don't understand how he could do something like that...lying about...feelings…" Although to be honest, Kaito himself have been lying about his feelings towards Aoko. And now, to be on the receiving end of such an action, he could empathise with Aoko's sudden choice of Hakuba as a possible partner.
"I thought we had a connection." He stared up at the white ceiling, noticing a dark splotch of soot where one of his tricks managed to backfire. His mother had laughed instead of becoming angry, stating that since it was Kaito's room, he would have to live with a permanent stain. "I thought she'd, he'd, feel the same." Pronouns were difficult as he still referred that one-time, temporary, acquaintance Irie Shiina as female rather than the male underneath that disguise.
The dove cooed again, this time sounding longer and harder.
"You're telling me I'm an idiot to assume something like that right?" The dove cooed again, this time even sounding more harsh. "Or are you telling me I shouldn't be so down because of a possible rejection?" Another coo, though this time it was accompanied with a peck on his palm. "Hey!"
The dove puffed out her feather, ruffled her wings, and took flight to settle into his hair.
"You better not be thinking about doing something nasty I tell you." Kaito poked at his feathered companion. He was rewarded with a peck on his head instead. "Oi!" Several more pecks and somehow Kaito feels as though his dove was telling him to actually use his head.
"I am using my head." That seemed to have stopped her actions. "But I'm not a detective and would never be one, so I wouldn't know what they'll be thinking." It gave him an idea.
On Monday morning, Kaito left the house bright and early, earlier that he normally does during a school day and foregoing his breakfast with the Nakamoris. He walked down unfamiliar paths and ended up in the front gate of the Hakuba mansion. Waiting was kept short as no sooner had Kaito settled in leaning against the concrete pillar, the iron gates opened.
"What the?! What are you doing here Kuroba!" Startled, Hakuba retreated slightly, using the iron gates as some sort of a barrier.
"You're a detective." Kaito did not move from his position, staring up in the sky instead of making eye contact.
"Yes. And?" Finally, Hakuba eased away from the gate and approached the lounging magician.
"You think like a detective." His hands absentmindedly shuffled a deck of cards that appeared out of no where.
"I would hope so. Are you getting somewhere with this?" He closed the gate and waited for a split second before moving in the general direction of where school would be.
"You know about other detectives' logic." Kaito followed behind Hakuba, eyes boring into the blond detective's back.
"Kuroba, just spit it out. What do you want." Irritated, Hakuba turned around with hands on his hips.
"Why would a detective purposefully lie about things?" Kaito blurted out as he walked passed Hakuba, who seemed to have been stunned by Kaito's forthrightness.
It took a moment for the blond to recover but soon, he was walking beside Kaito like an old friend would. Perhaps the blond was taking pity on Kaito's sense of dejectedness that he was projecting, or perhaps he was feeling gracious to answer. Either way, Kaito was at least somewhat relieved that the blond had continued the conversation. "Well, there are many reasons. For one, it could be for integrity like not leaking evidence to suspects."
"That's not lying." Kaito pointed out, in his mind it was an act of prevention rather than intentional lying.
"No, that's omission, a form of lying. But for a detective, that is a lie all the same."
"Hm…" Kaito hummed, thinking whether it was possible for the detective to lie about another identity. But it was strange for the detective to take on the identity for so long, unless it was for undercover. "What other reasons are there?"
"Then there is for protection. Not for the detective mind you, but to protect others."
"Not for himself then?" It did sound like something the detective would do. However, that particular reason left a rather bitter taste in Kaito's mouth.
"A detective rarely lies for themselves, it's always to help or protect somebody else. Whether it is a physical protection or just protecting the person from harmful comments, sometimes even sadness, that is when a detective would likely to lie. However, I personally would just be honest about such things. It is better to hear the truth than a lie after all."
"Yes, you seem to lack tact." Kaito managed to squeeze in an insult despite the relative camaraderie currently between them. Kaito felt a small sense of guilt in the bottom of his heart, gnawing gradually, as he remembered all the harsh words he laid against a certain blue-eyed detective. If he was lying in order to protect someone, it made Kaito look as though he was petty.
Hakuba shrugged, probably having heard it all too often.
"I know I'm blunt, it doesn't bother me." With a bland voice, he walked through the school gates. Many of their fellow classmates stared and instantly stilled in their mid-action. The students in the shoe lockers quickly made way for the entering pair, giving them an extremely wide berth.
"You should, you know. People's opinion matter." Kaito took the pair of white shoes from his locker. "You detectives often have to face the public, so image matters."
"Not if you're good at your job. Take Kudo-kun for example, he's known in the Police Force to be the Saviour and Modern Day Holmes. It's widely known he has quite an ego as well as his ability to see through any and all lies. Including any hidden identity." Hakuba let out a shark-like grin. "You know, maybe next time I can introduce you to him. I'm sure both of you will find the meeting entertaining."
At the mention of the name, Kaito held back a small wince. "You know him?"
"I ran into him a couple of times in HQ; once when I was visiting my father, several more as part of a consultant for homicide investigations, and the single rare time when he helped with a heist notice." By now, the silence in the halls was deafening as none of the students dared to breath in their proximity.
"Wait a second, you need a second opinion for a heist note?" Kaito did a double take, all thoughts concerning the Great Detective suddenly thrown out the window when he heard Hakuba needed additional help. He wondered which heist it was that required the Great Detective's input and how come he never saw much of the Great Detective's involvement.
"I didn't need a second opinion, but the client wanted a second opinion. Both of our deductions coincided so we were both correct." Hakuba settled his bag on his table before turning to Kaito with a crooked eyebrow. "Now, as much as I've appreciated this heart-to-heart talk, I need to wonder whether I should be expecting you to do sudden drop -bys every morning or will you be going back to your usual stalking and pranking. Whilst I don't care much, I believe you're driving many of our fellow classmates to the point of insanity with your currently quite cordial manner of interaction with me."
"Oh, so that's why they're on edge." Kaito mocked surprise understanding, though he knew all along they were all weary of when Kaito will unleash his pranking nature. "And if you're so concerned and missing my pranks, why didn't you say so earlier Hakuba?" A cheshire grin later, the classroom filled with multicoloured smoke flavoured with a sweet smell and Hakuba's hair turned a bubblegum pink whilst the clothes of his classmates were in various shades of the rainbow. Kaito popped a bag of candy in existence, opening the plastic package and tucking in to the colourful sweet. "Want one? It matches your hair."
"No thanks Kuroba." A sense of relief rushed over everyone in the room (including Hakuba) for the class magician prankster has finally returned to his normal self.
While his talk with Hakuba was quite enlightening, shedding some light as to why a detective will lie, it still did not answer the question of why that particular detective would lie. For what purpose and for whose protection is he lying. He breezed through the morning classes with only puffs of smoke erupting at the teacher's random words (anything to keep his fellow students awake during class and for his own entertainment when one of the falls down from their seat). Lunch had Aoko dragging him to the rooftop, saturating their time for food with aimless chatter and a mop chase. For the afternoon class, Kaito kept relatively quiet and only shuffling his cards as he paid half an ear towards the literature being read (not that the teacher was complaining, a distracted Kaito was a safe Kaito in their opinions). Kaito decided to walk home with Aoko in the afternoon instead of tagging behind Hakuba and nagging him to answer more of his questions.
"Kaito? Why are you not talking to Aoko?" She sounded sad as they passed by a bakery. "Kaito left early this morning and Aoko had been waiting and waiting…"
"Ah, sorry Aoko. There was something I had to do this morning." He scratched the back of his neck, turning his head away to avoid the teary eyes of his childhood friend.
"With Hakuba-kun?" Her voice wavered.
"It doesn't mean anything!" He needed to clarify, in case Aoko had some strange idea that Kaito might be attracted to the annoying blond detective.
"Aoko hasn't even said anything yet. But at least Kaito is making good with Hakuba-kun." She hid a small giggle with her fist, turning her head slightly for the sake of Kaito's pride.
"Are you planning to do anything yet? About this situation with Hakuba?" Aoko blushed profusely. Kaito took it as a prompt for encouragement. "Come on Aoko, have a little bit of courage and confess already. Sure I know with our final years there'll be definitely a lot of prep work, but you can't really put your life on hold."
"Like what you're doing? Isn't Kaito putting his life on hold at the moment?" Aoko was strangely observant about him.
"What do you mean?" Kaito faked ignorance but he can easily detect where the conversation is going. He did not mean to worry his childhood friend but with all his lies piling up, it was difficult not to put his life on hold.
"Aoko means that Kaito haven't been looking to settle down so to speak, always with the prank and hair-pulling…"
"I never pulled your hair!" He argued, interrupting Aoko mid-sentence.
"So Kaito is admitting that Kaito likes Aoko at one time then?" Kaito murmured incoherent sounds of grumbling.
Kaito could not believe how manipulative his childhood friend has become. The normally shy and reserved (albeit slightly violent when handed a mop and somewhat childish at most time) friend had turned too much like a detective on a blood trail for his liking.
"Aoko is concerned. Kaito never showed interest in anyone much until around two months ago when Kaito stopped coming over for dinner and breakfast. When Aoko knocks on Kaito's door, no one answers but then Kaito suddenly called Aoko to ask about what Kaito could do for Irie-chan and Aoko was really happy that Kaito found someone he liked." Aoko reached out to Kaito and took his hands. "But then, Kaito suddenly changed when school started. Suddenly became more contemplative and less prank-prone. Aoko was happy for a split second, thinking that Kaito had finally settled down. That was until today. Kaito suddenly walking to school with Hakuba-kun is not normal Kaito behaviour."
"Aoko…" Kaito tries to think of some excuse to spout off but his mind came up blank.
"Let Aoko finish." She warned, Kaito immediately closed his mouth. They were nearing their house by now. "Aoko feels Kaito seemed to have broken up with Irie-chan. If so, Aoko wants to let Kaito know that Aoko is here to lend a shoulder, or a female's perspective. Aoko is sure that Kaito can work out whatever he had done to anger Irie-chan and salvage the relationship."
"But what if it wasn't my fault?" They stopped in front of the Nakamori gates. "What if, it was me who felt angry and decided to call everything off?"
"Aoko doesn't think it would be the case. If it were, Kaito would not look so down for the whole day today." Aoko poked Kaito in the cheeks, "Kaito's smile is not like the ones he gave on a daily basis. Today's smile is forced."
"When did you become so observant?" Kaito pulled away the finger. "Where's the klutzy, slow childhood friend that I've known since a little kid?"
"She grew up of course. Aoko can't always turn a blind eye to everything." She flicked at his forehead and Kaito did not bother to evade the action. "Aoko can see a lot of things but rarely expresses them. After all, not everything needs to be said and words can be both harmful and harmless depending on how they are stringed together."
"That is...strangely profound coming from you." Kaito knit his brow. "Why have you never showed such a caring side towards me before?"
"Because Kaito is BaKaito and words like that are generally not needed to deal with a Baka. But now, Kaito is not BaKaito but Kaito so Aoko felt something must be said." She made it sound like it should all make some sort of sense to Kaito but in fact, it left Kaito more confused than before. "Anyways, Aoko needs to go back to pick up a change of clothes for 'tou-san. He's been drafted by another task force temporarily, something to do with art trafficking." She waved goodbye, leaving a lost and confused Kaito standing just outside of the gates.
"O...k...then…" Shaking of the remnant of confusion, Kaito head back into his own home. He called out the customary "I'm back" to which his mother answered "Welcome home Sweety."
Kaito followed where the sound came from and found his mother lounging on the sofa with a book and a warm cup of tea. "How was school?"
"The usual." Kaito shrugged out of his jacket, letting it drape on the back of an empty chair before going over to give his mother a hug. "Have you been home the whole day?"
"Of course, where else would I be? And I noticed you leaving extremely early this morning as well. What's the occasion?" There was concern laced into her voice even as her face showed only amusement.
"Nothing much, just...wanting a second opinion I guess." He flopped down on the empty seat next to his mother.
"And you'd rather talk with someone else rather than your own mother?" She tsked, "but I can probably guess what has you in such a mood though."
"Am I that transparent?" Kaito took up a nearby photo frame, one that held a family photo from before his father had been murdered. The glass reflection showed nothing that Kaito could deem as odd on his face. He might have a slight dark circle underneath his eyes but that was due to the constant lack of sleep rather than the single night of staying up.
"I'm your mother. I know these things."
"What else do you know then?" Kaito challenged, placing the frame back to its original spot. "You're sounding like a detective you know. And here I thought we were a family of thieves."
His mother laughed and stood to ruffle his hair. "Carry on like that and I'll make you fish for dinner tonight."
"Only joking. But really, there's nothing bothering me much. Only…" Kaito struggled how to word it without giving too much away. It was not that he was embarrassed to admit he had been fooled by a simple disguise (and it had been simple now that Kaito had time to reflect upon it. It was only a wig, makeup, and a change of clothing. No prosthetics had been involved, nor were there any facial reconstruction). But Kaito was more concerned about the reason for the detective wanting to keep Irie Shiina a secret. It must be something big for the detective to lie for such a long time. "I was just thinking why a detective would lie."
"Oh?" His mother did not sound surprise at all. "What makes you say that?"
"I encountered a detective a...few (?) days ago. He pretended to be someone else whilst we had been interacting. When I went to confront him, he did not bother to defend himself and took all the words I said..." He was trying to be vague but he knew his mother knew what he was trying to say. On second thought, there was a high chance that his mother knew the reason why the detective lied, after all the clothes Irie Shiina had worn were ones designed and made by his mother. He should have taken that hint long ago and should have realised the real identity of Irie Shiina seeing as his mother was prominent for her works in creating transgender clothing.
"Out of rage no doubt." His mother thwacked him on the back of his head. "You're sometimes too oblivious about hidden motives."
"'Kaa-san!" Kaito pushed his mother away. "That's manhandling!"
"No, that's just me trying to put some sense back into you." She sunk back into her seat. "Have you ever wondered why he lied?"
"How'd you...? You know what, nevermind." He stood up to leave but a glare from his mother instantly made him sit back down. Kaito has yet to answer her question. "I was told he might be lying to protect someone."
"And? What else have you found out?" She looked at him expectantly. It seems she already knew that answer but was withholding it from Kaito.
"My guess would be to spare someone of the emotional backlash. Otherwise such an elaborate lie would not be sustained for such a long time." At least that was a conclusion he was comfortable with. But his heart sank when he tries to figure out who it was the detective was trying to protect. 'Why does my heart feel pain?' He wondered.
"Emotional pain is something that is very hard to avoid and often comes hand-in-hand with the truth. Though emotional pain could be overcome if both parties reach an understanding." She stood up to stretch before moving out of the lounge, leaving Kaito once again in silence.
Thinking that his mother was onto something, Kaito whistled to call down one of his birds. He equipped her with a small recording device and strict instructions to follow a certain detective around.
"Make sure he stays safe and you keep yourself hidden alright?" He brought the dove to the nearest window. "Remember if anything strange happened, come back immediately."
She cooed, rubbing her head against his palm before taking off with a strong flap of her wings. Kaito watched his white feathered friend until she disappeared into the skies beyond, suddenly feeling a lot lighter now that he could make sure the detective was somehow safe.
"I'd be a lot happier if he actually told me the reason for Irie Shiina rather than having me do this much legwork…"
Several days later, during the weekend, Kaito viewed the video from the laptop set up in the kitchen table as he ate lunch. His mother did not complain, rather she let Kaito indulge in his work as she flitted about the kitchens, cleaning the surface and making pastries for some unfathomable reason. Kaito watched the screen with rapt attention as he saw how the detective stumbled down the stairs. He winced in time with the detective as his backside hit one of the steps. He saw how his detective sometimes stared into nothing at the same time seemingly having decipher the secrets of the universe and found the secrets to be disappointing. But still, with all these insights into the detective, Kaito could not understand why he would lie about his disguise and why did he not reveal himself earlier.
His mother suddenly thwacked him on the forehead with a spatula, thankfully still clean. "When I say you were oblivious to hidden emotions, I did not mean you have to scrutinize their every move. Sometimes we find the answers in ourselves." She produced a small handheld mirror from her pockets and set it in front of Kaito. He had to wonder what his mother was trying to say. "Why did you lie to Aoko-chan about KID?"
"Because it's dangerous and it's something that would only worry her." He stated matter-of-factly, staring at his own reflection. There was dullness in his eyes that he finally took note of, it lacked the usual sparkle and he wondered when that change occurred. Not wanting to stare at his own face any longer, he turned away to look up at his mother.
"But if the danger has passed? Would you tell Aoko-chan about KID? About everything that you've done and all the times KID managed to pull her father away from her?" His mother used the spatula again to direct his face so he would be looking into the mirror once more.
"No! Of course not! That's just tasteless of me to do something like that!" Kaito's reaction was immediate. No matter whether Pandora was found or not, or if Snake's organisation has been brought down or not. KID was one secret he would be bringing to the grave with him.
"Why's that?"His mother's prompt were quickly becoming more annoying than informative. However, there was care in the tone, the soft care that Kaito remember hearing a long time ago. It was a tone parents reserved for their children to bring them to an understanding.
"Because it'll only cause her pain. I know how much she wanted her father to stay with her but KID still pulled him away. And I care about…-" Kaito finally came to the realisation why the detective would lie. "Because he cared…" He whispered mostly to himself but he was sure his mother heard it just as clearly.
Chikage smiled, downright grin widely, and she turned back to her bowl with the spatula in hand, letting Kaito come to terms with this new realisation and allowing him time to come up with a plan. Though that is not to say Chikage would not be helping out her son. First she had a few calls to make. But after the cookies, she knew how much Kaito loved her triple chocolate cookies. And he would need them for when the guilt of what he has done had set its claws into his mind.
-TBC-