Author: Konichiwa! I hope everyone is doing well. I know I am. I had a great weekend and I truly hope you all did too.

Hilu: Are you going to start the chapter?

Author: Yes, I just wanted to give my readers a proper greeting.

Hilu: Okay I was just wondering. I like this story, and I was hoping that we could get moving. I want to get something done before you have to go to work tonight.

Author: I know. So let's get started. Enjoy everyone!

"Kirana's telepathy"

"Hiei's telepathy"

Hiei's thoughts

"Hiei's Jagan"

Kurama's thoughts

Youko's thoughts

(Author's note)

---------Time and/or location change---------

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Chapter 25

When Hiei woke up he realized that there were a few more tear gems than he had realized. He hoped that Kirana would be ok soon. He didn't like the smell of tears especially hers. He loved her so much. Then he noticed she was beginning to wake up. He gently held her closer so that she would know she was not alone. He knew that Youko had said the worst thing he could have said. He could have forbidden them called him anything he had wanted to, but he had chosen to destroy the beautiful girl that now slept in Hiei's arms.

Suddenly she cried out and tried to pull out of Hiei's arms. He just tightened them and began to rock her softly.

"Shhh… Koi it's ok. It's just me. I'm here. It's ok Koi. It's ok. I'm here. I'm not leaving you. Shhhhh… it's ok."

"Hiei?"

"Yes, Koi, it's me. I'm here."

"Why does it hurt so bad?"

"Because you still love him Koibito. No matter what he is your brother and you will always love him. That is why it hurts so badly."

"Does he hate me? Is that why? Is it just that he hates me? Does he truly not want me to be happy? Does he really feel that way? Does he really hate me?"

"No, Koi, he doesn't hate you. No matter what he loves you."

"Then why? Why would he say that? Why would he hurt me like that?"

"I don't know Koi. I don't know."

Then there was a knock on the door. Kirana looked at Hiei, and he asked who was there. The answer came but neither one heard it. So Hiei asked again.

"It's Botan. Please Hiei, let me in. Let me talk to her," Botan pleaded.

"That decision is not for me to make, Botan. I will try to get her to let you in, but I have no control over her, and frankly I am not sure if she will ever be ok. I will ask her. For everyone's sake I hope she will let you in Botan. I really do."

"Kirana? Are you going to let Botan in?" Hiei asked.

"I… I don't know… I want to, but… what if he is with her? I don't want to see him. Hiei, don't make me see him," she said beginning to cry again.

Hiei pulled her into his arms again, "It's just Botan. Youko is not with her. It is just Botan, and she is worried about you. Are you going to let her in Koi?"

"I… don't know… help me Hiei… I am so scared," Kirana said crying into Hiei's shoulder.

"Kirana, you have to decide whether or not to let Botan in. If Youko is there too I will make sure he can't get in. I promise, but you need to decide if you want to see Botan," Hiei said quietly.

"No, I can't. I can't please don't make me. Please Hiei. I can't… I just can't," she said beginning to sob.

"I'm sorry Botan. She is just not ready yet. Part of her wants to see you and the other part is still so scared that you will turn on her too. She feels so betrayed, and it took so much for me to get her to let me in. She almost didn't. Please come back again tomorrow though Botan. She does want to see you. She is just not ready yet to face the world, because she is so afraid that the whole world will turn on her. She is terrified that Youko hates her. That he doesn't want her to be happy. She is terrified that everyone else will too since he does."

Botan sighed. She knew that Kirana needed her friends, and Hiei needed to help her understand that. She also knew that Hiei wanted her to be ok so he would do what he thought was best for her. She had a feeling that she was more broken this time than she had been the first time the word was used against her. This time it was more damaging because it came from her own brother. She truly hoped that the girl would be ok. Botan had grown very fond of the pretty little demon. She truly hoped that she would be ok.

Hiei sighed. He knew how badly she felt. It was killing him. Because of the marking he could feel everything his mate could and he thought his heart was going to explode because of all the pain. He gently pulled Kirana further into his arms and tried to help her feel better. He whispered to her soothingly, and finally began to hum gently rocking her back and forth like someone would a young child. At that moment she seemed so young so tiny and so verybreakable. He only hoped that his love could heal the wound inflicted by Youko.

Kirana sobbed quietly. She had never imagined pain this intense. She thought for sure she was dying. She hadn't known any demon could cry as much as she had. That was when she noticed that there were black tear gems mixed in with the beautiful sea green ones. She stopped crying and picked one up. Holding it in her hand she looked up at her mate. She could see her pain mirrored in his eyes and wrapped her arms around his neck. She knew he was feeling the same thing she was and that the black gems were his.

"I'm so sorry."

"Sorry for what Koi?"

"For making you hurt too."

"Koi, it's ok. I just want you to feel better. I would take all the pain if it would make you happy. I love you and just want you to feel better. I don't mind feeling your pain because then you don't have to go through it alone."

"But…"

"No buts Koibito. Just as long as you never leave me or send me away. I would never make it."

Hiei gently touched the mark on Kirana's neck, "Did you know that fire demons mate for life. Our mark is a life bond. If you die I will too. I will never be able to live without you. And I will never want to. Aishiteru, Koi. Aishiteru."

"Fox demons mate for life too. We make a life bond too. And I would never ever leave you. Aishiteru, Hiei," she said beginning to cry softly.

Hiei pulled the girl back into his arms and held her close to him. He buried his nose into her hair and inhaled deeply. He loved her so much. He hoped that nothing would ever tear them apart.

--------- Back at Genkai's Temple ---------

"I really messed this up didn't I?" Youko asked.

"Yes, I believe you did. She wouldn't even let me in. I'm so worried about her, Youko. I don't know what to do," Botan said trying not to cry.

Youko pulled his mate into his arms. He was worried too. He hoped he hadn't done anything too rash. He also knew that Kurama would never let him hear the end of this. He had already told him about a million times that he had told the demon not to say anything. And Youko knew he had been wrong. He just didn't know what to do. He knew he didn't like the two together, but he couldn't figure out why.

I can tell you why.

Then spill it Kurama.

You are afraid.

Afraid of what? I am not afraid of anything.

You are afraid to lose them both at the same time to the other. For some reason you think that if she mates to Hiei, which she has, she will leave us. You also think Hiei will too. Well they won't! Neither one would have done that, but now you may have pushed Kirana farther than she can take. Now she may leave, and if she does, she will take Hiei with her. He will not leave her for anything. For your own sake I hope you didn't do too much damage with your own fears.

I am not afraid! I'm not! I never thought she would leave! Never, and as for Hiei, he is my best friend… I know he wouldn't abandon me.

That's just the thing… you are afraid. You felt that your mother abandoned you when she died, but she didn't. They don't leave, but you are too scared to admit that just maybe someone can love more than one person. When we fell in love with Botan, did we stop loving Kirana? NO! Why can't you see it! You have been living in Ningenkai too long and have developed emotions and fears. Now since you have those things stronger than you ever had before you have to learn to control them. You can't just lash out whenever you are scared. Sometimes you have to admit you are scared. Even if you don't want to. You can't let something as stupid as that come between you and the people you love. And admit it! Admit when you are scared! Sometimes it is the only thing you can do.

You are a fool. I am a demon. I am not afraid of anything!

See there you go again. You are afraid of the truth so you get angry. Youko… there is nothing wrong with being scared. Let me talk to Botan.

NO!

Yes, you will let me or I will force you to let me.

Botanwatched as her mate fought with his human counterpart. Then the gold eyes turned green and the silver hair turned red. Kurama pulled Botan into his arms and she began to cry. He gently lifted her up into his arms and carried her back to their room. He sat on the bed and pulled her into his arms and held her rocking her gently. He hated it when she cried. It tore his heart in two. Finally she stopped crying.

"Kurama?"

"Yes Botan?"

"What were you and Youko fighting about?"

Kurama laughed, "I will tell you, but Youko will not appreciate it very much. You see he refuses to believe me when I tell him that he was afraid of losing Kirana and Hiei, and that is why he lost his temper. Youko is still not used to emotions and…"

Suddenly Youko was sitting beneath her not Kurama, and she knew he was going to deny that he was scared. But it made sense. Youko was a demon. He was not used to being scared, and he would feel it was a weakness. She knew that.

"I was not scared. I am still not scared! I am Youko Kurama. I am not afraid of anything especially something as stupid as that!" Youko said angry at his counterpart.

"Youko… I think you were scared. Maybe just a little. And it's ok. It really is. I am scared now… I don't want to lose Kirana. Hiei said he is not sure if she will ever be ok. I hope she will. For once I hope he is wrong. She is really hurt Youko. And I know you are too. Please just admit that you were scared. It is not a bad thing and it is just me. You can say anything to me… anything," she said trying to get her mate to admit it.

"I'm not scared…" Youko said unconvincingly.

"Youko… are you really not scared?" Botan asked.

"What am I going to do if she never gets better again? What if I just destroyed her when I was only trying to protect her?" Youko asked his mate.

"Youko… were you trying to protect Kirana or yourself?" Botan asked again.

Youko's gold eyes began to swim with tears, "I was scared… but I don't know why… I know she wouldn't leave me. She loves me just as much as I love her. Why was I so scared to lose her?"

Botan wrapped her arms around her mate as he began to cry softly. Botan had never seen the demon cry, and she had every intention of making sure he knew that no matter what she still loved him. She held him close and began to cry too. For a long time the two sat there holding each other and crying over the possible loss of a woman very dear to both of them.

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Author: That was sad… Hilu are you ok? You have been crying since the beginning of the chapter.

Hilu: I was not! You were.

Author: You were crying. I know what will happen, so I was not crying!

Hilu: I was not.

Author: Whatever! I don't want to argue with you. Well I hope you all liked it. And I hope this explained what Youko was thinking… poor Youko… well please review! Ja ne!