25 – NED THE GREAT

Towers of power cores reached up like skyscrapers, becoming taller as the Yellows headed deeper towards the heart of the chamber, the center of this civilization of power cores. The Yellows began to notice power cores moving around and actually doing day to day business, instead of just lying dormant inside huge stacks: the streets of the city actually were streets, for there were power cores rolling along in lanes, and on the side of the street were even cores with magazines, having telekinetically lifted them up as though they were reading them. For that matter, many of the cores travelling along the streets actually had briefcases levitated above themselves as they rolled.

Soon came their destination. The streets became wider and more active, and the towers actually seemed to touch the chamber ceiling. The core leading the Yellows led them to one of the tallest towers, which had a square entrance just large enough for them to walk through. Inside, just like the outside, the walls and surfaces were all composed of dormant power cores, as did indeed the entirety of the tower. The power core took the Yellows to a very large spiral staircase. The core ordered the Yellows to all walk as quietly as possible. They did their best, bringing their feet down slowly as they moved up each step. Their captors followed closely behind, levitating themselves quickly up each step, which looked like hopping to the untrained eye. The walk was a long one, for the staircase took them up to the highest level of the tower, and those not in Lemon Squadron were out of breath by the time they finally reached the top.

"Oh thank God," gasped Ryan as they got to the final landing. "I couldn't take much more."

"You might be in better shape if you ate more than popcorn and soda in your life," said Patton, striding by without so much as a twinge of fatigue.

The power core rolled up to a very large door at the end of the landing which was made of power core with gold colored paint. "Humans…your fate awaits you through here."

The door hummed electronically, and slowly slid open. On the other side stretched an extravagant rooftop, with all the walls made of gold-painted power cores. They were clearly atop the highest building of the city, for not ten meters above their heads was the ceiling to the entire city chamber, and looking out from the landing one could see the entire city down below, which from afar looked like an abyss of tall grey LEGO blocks. The Yellows walked slowly forward. On both sides of them were long lines of what appeared to be power core guards: golden cores which telekinetically held long sharp metal sticks at their sides. Eventually they came to the other end of the rooftop, and there the strangeness climaxed: there was a golden throne composed of power cores, all of which were singing some kind of praise hymn to the one sitting upon it in gentle tones.

The being sitting in the throne was definitely not human, but not really like the power cores either: this being actually seemed to be some kind of meld between multiple cores, the bodies of four cores placed end-to-end at one point to make a tetrahedron. The point where the ends met was a white light. The bottom three cores served as triped legs, while the top core pointed straight up, and on the forward facing side of the top core was a golden moustache made of steel.

The Yellows were all made to kneel before the ridiculous thing. One of the cores that composed the throne shouted out: "Behold, biped creatures. The one before you, the Energy Core of our domain, is none other than…the Lord of the Architectural Digest Magazines, Ruler of the Power Core Empire, the One Known Only as…Ned the Great!"

The one on the throne (whose species was apparently called an Energy Core) then spoke: "The epic glory of my Golden Moustache has gained word of your arrival, and finds the event quite interesting. Tell me, puny biped creatures, what brings you here?"

It was Hearts who chose to address the Energy Core. "Well it's nice to meet you too…Ned…and what brought us down here is your frankly gigantic energy signature, which we picked up from above." He paused for a moment, thinking. And then he raised both arms in praise. "We were mesmerized by your glorious static electric aura, and we have descended into this great city to discuss with you the possibility of your people joining us upon the surface above." Patton rolled his visor as Hearts talked.

However, the Energy Core was impressed. In a classic monotone robotic voice which was nonetheless energetic, he exclaimed: "You are all indeed friends if you have come seeking to bask in the epic, glorious magnificence of my Golden Moustache. I am willing to forgive all of you for having legs, in exchange for your loyalty to me."

"Well that's very kind of you," said Hearts.

Brian put in: "Your moustache is indeed…VERY golden…and shiny. Wow, it really is magnificent! Do you guys see it?"

Ned the Energy Core continued: "As a token of my good faith, I am willing to allow all of you to read some of the content within The Great Vault."

"You have a vault," said Hearts. "I mean, that's wonderful. And just what is in this vault, if I may ask?"

"The Epic Glory of my Architectural Digest collection," Ned replied with reverence.

"A…digest collection…" Hearts replied hesitantly.

"Indeed," said Ned. "For that is why this grand civilization you see before has such high moral values, because all our interior designs are carefully checked according to the Glory of the Architectural Digest. And there is no greater value in our society than glorious interior design."

Hearts nodded. "It is good to see that this grand civilization is led by such high moral standards. This is a boon to the mission of my own people, for you see…we have come down here seeking an alliance with you."

There was a great silence. And then the Energy Core laughed. It sounded like a monotone radio booming, like a stereo on the highway that other drivers could feel coming before they heard it. "Bipeds, you amuse me. I am almost touched by your efforts, but it seems that you misunderstand the glory of my Golden Moustache. My civilization has no intention whatsoever of allying with anyone. We are going to rise up from this city to the surface…and conquer your world."

"So we have heard," said Hearts while stifling a laugh.

"You bipeds are entertaining enough that I think I shall let you live," said the Energy Core. "And I do intend to even let you into the Great Vault to enlighten yourselves about the glory of interior design. However…if any of you try to contact the outside world, you will be vaporized instantly."

Hearts crossed his arms. "Well I'm afraid we can't quite accept that, Mr. Ned."

At once, the power core guards on either side began to move closer, forming a ring around the Yellows. Everyone readied their weapons. "I was wondering when we'd get to this part," Patton said as he loaded a shell into Lucy. "It was a pretty decent attempt, Hearts, but I could tell pretty quickly that these magazine-obsessed douchebags weren't gonna give us so much as the time of day."

"I would much rather that you didn't resist," said Ned. "The epic glory of my Golden Moustache really doesn't want to see such entertaining creatures as yourselves be destroyed."

"Boss…" Clair whispered to Patton. "You do realize that they actually can vaporize us, don't you? And we can't actually kill any of these cores, because if even one of them explodes, it will take out this entire continent."

"Well we sure as hell can't surrender!" he replied sternly. "They can't take one of us out without risking us taking one of them out, and if that happens then their whole civilization disappears. They won't attack us, because they can't."

There was the sound of the cores all powering up…and then everyone just stared at each other.

"I think this is what you call a Mexican Standoff," said Ryan.

The Energy Core's Golden Moustache rotated a full 360 degrees in annoyance. "Oh, I hate these moments! The epic glory of my Golden Moustache abhors awkwardness." It took in a long breath, and then ordered: "Please, everyone power down, and let's talk about this."

The guards powered down their weapons, and the Yellows did the same.

"I think we might have gotten off on slightly the wrong track," said Ned. "Since neither of us can attack the other, I think we should all just relax and think happy thoughts."

"If no one can kill anyone else without destroying the continent, I can't imagine how you manage crime here," Ryan blurted out.

Patton was about to smack him, but Tom managed to tend to the situation first. "What he means is…you have such a remarkably peaceful city. It is really quite wonderful."

Ned actually seemed quite delighted. "Well, I'm glad you think so! You know, I do seem to have misjudged you. Perhaps I should just show you all around the city, and we can talk over things—"

There was suddenly a great rumble from the ceiling of the city. At first it sounded like thunder, but soon the Yellows were able to pick up mechanical frequencies. Everyone looked around in confusion. "What the hell could that be?" Deryn asked, voicing the concerns of her team. Then the domes top of the chamber actually began to shake, which was awesome so see in light of its size.

"I'm really not liking this, guys!" said Ryan.

Small explosions were now happening on the ceiling, little bright flashes which sent gusts of debris down into the city. Meanwhile, the rumbling was getting louder…much louder.

"Drills," said Hester. "Someone is drilling into the city!" Sure enough, great rotating pieces of metal came crashing through the dome ceiling, looking like misplaced airplanes from afar as they plummeted down into the city, creating enormous crashing sounds.

"What is this?" Ned shouted. "The epic glory of my Golden Moustache demands to know what his happening. Is this your people?"

Everyone shook their helmets madly. "No, no!" said Wren. "Our Army doesn't have giant drills!"

As everyone kept watching, their questions were suddenly answered. There was a humming sound all throughout the chamber, coming from the ceiling. And then a multitude of air vehicles began pouring through the vertical tunnels, a combination of Hornets, Falcons, and alien Banshees. The former two types were piloted by Orange soldiers, and the Banshees were piloted by Purples. A great swarm of them just kept pouring in through the tunnels. The legions of flying vehicles flew above the city for some moments, and then all suddenly began to turn towards the palace, the rooftop of which was where the Yellows and Ned were standing.

"Oh shit, the Purples and Oranges really are working together," said Ryan.

"They must also realize they can't attack the power cores without destroying the continent," said Tom. "Which must be why they aren't bombing this whole place."

Ned the Energy Core laughed. "Ah, but my people are not so hindered! In the name of my glorious moustache, open fire, my soldiers!"

The guards did so: with a few seconds of great electronic humming, they suddenly released a torrent of lightening which vaporized the first wave of oncoming air vehicles. It sounded like a noisy thunderstorm as a rain of flaming metallic debris sank down to the streets below. However, that had only been a very small fraction of the aircraft in the city, and the ones taken out were just as soon replaced a moment later by other aircraft which had come from the center of the city.

"Sis," said Wren to Hester. "We need to do something. If the power cores keep destroying the enemy aircraft, eventually one of them is going to shoot a power core out of self defense…and we can't let that happen!"

Hester nodded. "You're right. This isn't Balloon Fight at the OK Corral, this is a serious fight where the other side might accidentally fire on a power core on instinct." She crossed her arms. "Which leaves only one course of action: we have to draw the aircraft away from here."

"Away from the city?" Wren asked. "But then we'd be giving up the whole place to the enemy. We can't do that."

Hester shook her helmet. "I wasn't thinking that." She turned to Ned the Energy Core. "Can you clear the street right outside this palace?"

"This whole sector of the city is already being evacuated," Ned replied. "The street below should be clear. Do you mean to draw the attackers away from us?" Upon Hester's nod, Ned commented: "Good. Perhaps you creatures are not so ridiculous after all."

Hester turned to the rest of the Yellows and sent them an order indicator on their HUDs. "C'mon. We're Oscar Mike!" The Yellows followed her and Wren back down the spiral staircase. It was much easier down than up, and no one had yet started to feel fatigue by the time they had come down to street level. As Ned had said it would be, the streets were no completely deserted. A few hastily dropped briefcases, as well as many lying-open architectural digest magazines, were lying along the sector, but all the power cores were gone, which was the part that really mattered. "And now everyone, it's time to bring the fight to us!" said Hester.

"Oh yeah!" exclaimed Ryan as he pulled out his trusty rocket launcher off his back, and Inez pulled out a disturbingly large chaingun from somewhere on her extensive tool compartments, and both of them aimed their weapons at the sky. The aircraft above actually seemed to see the Yellows even before their weapons specialists actually started firing. They came roaring downwards towards the street as Ryan and Inez opened fire. Hearts and Amber also provided some assistance, by taking out what they could with their sniper rifles. As Ryan's rockets took out a Falcon, Hearts' sniper shot took out a Banshee pilot straight through the canopy. But by then, the aircraft were low enough to open fire, and within the next moment the Yellows had to abandon their position and move further down the street.

Brilliant orbs of energy bounced horrifyingly along at the spot where the Yellows had been standing, and were soon joined by rockets and machinegun fire. The Yellows kept moving back along the street, taking out a vehicle every moment or so. "You can't expect us to take out every single vehicle in the attack force," said Amber. "There are thousands of these guys. We simply can't deal with them all."

"I'm on it," said Wren. "Now that there are holes in the ceiling leading to the surface…it's unlikely there'd be reception in here, but it's still worth a shot." Into her mike, she said: "Hello? Yellow Command, this is Lemon Squadron. Do you read me?"

The response she got was not from someone she particularly wanted to speak to, but at least it was someone from the outside. "I read you okay, guys!" said Pete Oles from the other end of the transmission.

"Were in the city of power cores, and it's under attack from both the Oranges and Purples," Wren stated bluntly. "We need backup NOW!"

"I'll see what I can do," said Pete. "Our forces on the surface have managed to secure the actual entrance to the power core containment chamber. But the entire battle on the fields above has moved to the base right outside the elevator entrance, and now there's a frankly enormous battle going on there. You should know that the Orange Army has some kind of drill that it's using to dig down through the ground to get to the chamber—"

"We know," said Wren. "That's why we need reinforcements, because there are thousands of enemy aircraft pouring into this chamber, and my squadron alone cannot hold them all off."

"Uh-huh…" said Pete, sounding distracted. "I see."

"So do something!" Wren snapped.

"Right, right," said Pete with sudden change in focus. "Um, I'm gonna order a squad at the entrance base to head down the elevator and meet you in that chamber."

"Make sure it's a battalion," said Wren. "Because that's what we need right now." She had to perform a dive-roll as a Banshee fired a great green glob of plasma in her direction. She heard a great roar behind her, and stood up to see the Banshee fly straight over her helmet. Then there was a shot from a sniper rifle, and the alien aircraft exploded into pieces.

"All right," said Oles. "Two hundred soldiers have been sent. They're heading to the elevator as we speak."

"That's a start," said Wren.

"You can meet them at the entrance to the chamber itself," said Oles. "They should be there in about five minutes."

"We copy," said Wren. "But make sure they know that we'll be bringing a hell of a lot of enemies with us." She then closed the connection and turned to the other Yellows. "You guys catch all that?" She was greeted by an array of green lights which flashed on her HUD.

"Let's move out!" called Hester.

"Gladly," said Ryan as he looked back and saw with mild horror the legion of aircraft approaching. Without further pause, the Yellows turned and made a beeline for the entrance to the city.