CHAPTER 25 – THE BROKEN

STEFAN's POV

I can't take my eyes off of her.

There's something about the way sunlight sits on Elena's skin, reflects from each individual strand of her dark hair, absorbs into her clear, chocolate brown eyes – it's mesmerizing, simply beautiful. I could watch her like this for the rest of my life…

We drove the four and half hours in silence, less the radio playing through her I love Stefan playlist. Can you believe that? She loves me. Elena loves me. I'm blessed with this knowledge. A monster like me, loved by an innocent, pure heart like hers. In the silence I've come to grips with the situation – made peace with the fact that today will be last. I'm not happy about it, I'm still destroyed – fighting the urge to scream at the top of my lungs – but I'm okay. With the money I've saved and made over my 172 years, Elena and Allie can run and be safe – stay under the radar and stay alive. It's all I've ever wanted, since the moment I saw Elena's face still wet with the waters of Wickery Creek, I just wanted her to live.

I've had years with Elena and one unforgettable night with my daughter; that is so much more than a creature like me could ever deserve.

I have been lucky. What I thought was a curse – being undead for nearly two centuries, watching each and every person I've ever cared for die, constantly fighting with myself to stay on path, to resist the blood lust; every second of pain and sorrow and regret – it was all worth it, all those things led me to this moment – watching Elena in the sunlight, her eyes full of love for me and bright with life.

Damon keeps glaring at me from Caroline's rental car parked behind Elena's SUV. He and I need to talk. I need to tell him goodbye. But right now, I just can't tear my eyes away from Elena, from my wife, the love of my life. I'm leaning against the fender of her Explorer, Elena across from me, Bonnie and Gia to my left, Caroline to my right; we're standing in a loose circle and discussing the plan.

I'm listening – Damon and Caroline will wait at the highway, the rest of us will meet Elijah and Rebekah at the house and make the exchange. Elena and I haven't pitched in at all, really – my eyes looking in hers, hers looking into mine, my hands deep in my pockets to keep them from going rogue and touching her face.

"Alright, lets go." Bonnie sighs, cutting her eyes from Elena, to me, then back to Elena, closing the conversation.

Just as the circle begins to disintegrate, our gravity pulls at us and we each take a step towards each other, my hands are slipping into her hair, her hands beneath my leather jacket, when Caroline says with a laugh, "Whoa. Hold on! I need to talk to Stefan."

A little frustrated by the interruption, a little not wanting to tell Caroline goodbye, I lick my lips, graze my thumb across Elena's jaw line as she nods an 'ok'.

I'm trying to think of words to use to tell Caroline, but the moment we get a few feet away and she hugs my shoulders tightly, I change my mind. She's happy. We're waking Klaus… I don't need to darken this day for her. "I'm so scared!" She says through a tight smile and hunched shoulders, the gentle fall breeze pushing her curls off of her shoulders. "He's going to be so pissed off at me!"

I force a smile as I check my watch – half an hour – then look back at Elena, intently speaking with Gia. "It'll be okay, Ker." It's all I've got. I can't do this right now. I have thirty minutes left in my life and I'm not going to spend it talking about Klaus.

"You think so? Really? I mean," She pushes her hair behind her ears, looks over at Damon who is still burning a hole into me with his stare. "I know he'll be mad, but he'll get over it, right?"

I look at my watch again, twenty nine minutes.

Taking Caroline by her shoulders, I hug her, her arms around my waist. "It's going to be okay. You're going to have a long and happy life." I feel her smile against my shoulder and our embrace tightens a bit – she can tell this is a goodbye, but I know she thinks it's because I'm with Elena and she's with Klaus… nothing more. "Thank you, Caroline. Really, you made the worst years of my life much easier to tolerate." I laugh at my choice of words just as she playful smacks my back, pulling away and pretending to be offended – dropped jaw and wide eyes.

That's how I want to remember Caroline Forbes – bright and sunny, smiling and playful. Not telling her and keeping it from Elena until the last minute… any minute now – it was the right choice.

"Wow, Stefan, you're so sweet!" She laughs, tossing her hair over her shoulders with a roll of her eyes.

I'm smiling, but honestly watching her go back to the car with Damon is almost as painful as seeing Lexi staked... I have to look away. My head is down and eyes closed, teeth pressing into my bottom lip when I feel Elena's arm loop with mine – kissing my shoulder and saying in a soft whisper, "Come on, Gia and I need to talk to you."

I nod, lacing my fingers with Elena's and letting her lead me back to the Explorer as Damon takes off in a screech of tires against pavement towards the old witch house. I can't watch the car going – my brother, my best friend – keeping my eyes on the hibernating brown grass beneath my boots as I walk behind Elena. I find it a bit strange when she opens the back passenger door and I spot Gia sitting in the drivers seat. She and Bonnie brought Bonnie's car… frowning, confused, I look at Elena but get nothing from her neutral face.

Elena climbs in next to me and I quickly get the feeling that out of the three of us, I'm the odd man out – the one not included in some conversation already had – Elena and Gia share a long look, a few deep breaths, before they both turn to me in unison.

"What's wrong?" I already know what this is about – Gia told Elena. I can't be mad. I told Gia that I would tell Elena everything … how could she know that I backed out? How can I blame Gia for me being selfish and wanting to spend the last few hours with Elena in good spirits?

"You two need to talk, Stefan." Gia sighs, shrugging, still looking at Elena.

I open my mouth to speak, to apologize to Elena who is looking at me with pursed lips and worried eyes, but she starts before I can.

"Stefan, I –" She swallows, looks away for a moment, then back at my face – but not my eyes.

Now I know something's wrong… this is how Elena confesses; when she tells me something she knows I will not like; Damon, her deals with Elijah, going to Spain alone. Still holding my hand, her thumb grazes over my wedding band, her dark lashes are sparkling with pooled tears in the late day sun. "I can't let you do this."

This is exactly what I didn't want – I didn't want to see Elena in this kind of pain, crying, holding my hand tightly and her bottom lip quivering. It hurts me. More than anything I've experienced. It hurts me with a pain that I cannot explain when I make Elena cry. Still, she's beautiful.

Brushing her hair back with my fingers, I rest my hand against the curve of her neck and wipe at her wet cheek, "Elena, no please don't be upset. This is how it should be." She's shaking her head no. "It's the only way I can put an end to all of the darkness I brought into your life."

"Please, Stefan, don't say that." She's crying harder and we fall into a tight embrace – I guess it's because I've made my peace with it, but somehow I'm keeping it together. "You're the only light I've ever had."

I smile – amused by how Elena's love for me has tainted her vision of things. All of this, all of these tears, Allie being held ransom by the founders of the vampire race, all of the people in her life that she's lost since I purposely ran into her in the halls of Mystic Falls – all of that weight, that pain, it all belongs to me. Every drop of blood is on my hands.

"Stefan, I – I'm so scared."

"You and Allie, you're going to be fine. You're going to be okay. I put the cashier's checks in the glove compartment. You've got nearly two million dollars to go and do and be anyone you want to be."

"But, I-"

Her voice catches and I hold her a bit tighter, my hands moving up and down her back and I'm praying to God that I can make it until she leaves with Allie safe in her arms before I crash. "I love you, Elena. No matter what, I'll always love you."

"It should be me. I can't protect her. I can't keep us safe, Stefan" She's speaking in a rapid pace, her tone choppy from the tears and her hands fisting into the leather of my jacket. "I don't know how to run! Stefan, you have to take her and you have to run and keep her safe! Don't let them hurt our baby! Please Stefan. I'm so sorry… I took the fig powder –"

I can't hear her. Did I hear her? I can feel her jaw moving against my shoulder but I can't really make sense of anything – my ears are ringing, a piercingly high pitched tone… something like when I woke in that morgue and thought the Originals had killed Elena.

Backing away and pulling Elena away from me at the same time, I stare out her mouth as it moves, forming silent words. Through the ringing in my ears and the swooshing of blood in my body I can make out her words just enough to register them… just enough to really begin to panic.

"…heard them, so I took the powder and I'm so scared. I'm terrified of losing Allie and of her not having her mother. But I need her to grow up and get married and fall in love like how I love you! I don't know what else to do! You're the only one who can keep her safe!"

I hadn't noticed the SUV moving, but now that I'm feeling nauseous, the gentle sway of traveling on the road and making the turn onto the gravel farm road that leads to the witch house makes my stomach fall to the floor. Forcing my stomach bile back down my throat, I lean over, resting my elbows on my knees and listening to Elena speaking in rapid-fire about how she's wants me take Allie and how she's not going to see her grow up - I want to comfort her but I'm crumbling. I feel my skin break out into a cold sweat, my fingers are trembling against my face, my whole body begins to shake…

I can only think of one way of saving her and that's by breaking her one wish – to not become a vampire.

"My blood." I croak out through a tight throat and my face in my hands. "You have my blood in your system."

Gia gives a small sigh and responds as Elena lays over on my back, her face against my shoulder blade and one hand in my hair. "I don't know if it will work, Stefan."

Dropping my hands, I look up at Gia through the rearview mirror – her brow is furrowed and the light brown eyes I've always found so comforting seem deeply troubled, causing my gut to wrench even harder. "What do you mean? Why wouldn't it work?" I wish I didn't sound so panicked; slightly short of breath and my voice full of grit.

"There are so many things. She's a doppelganger – that's a variable in the magic that comes into play that no one can predict. She's human and the fig powder may not have absorbed into her blood stream, we are not at the temples, this is not the night of Lupercalia, I do not have a strong force behind me like when the covenant circled together…" Blinking away tears, Gia looks her age – she looks every day of fifteen and carrying far too much responsibility when she looks back at me through the reflection and apologizes in a quivering voice, "I'm so sorry. I just cannot be sure."

I don't want to cause her any more pain, give any more weight to her already loaded shoulders, so I stop myself before I finish my sentence, "So, Elena's go—"

I just can't speak the words. My lips refuse to form the syllabus required to speak my thought aloud – Elena's going to die.

"Elena, please… no." I don't know why am I am begging or what I am asking her for. But I turn to her and pull Elena against my body tighter than I've ever held her. I fear I may be hurting her, holding her for the last time. The tears running down my face disappear into her hair as I speak into her ear, inhaling her for the last time. My lungs sharing oxygen with her lungs for the last time. "I can't do this. I don't know how to be without you."

She kisses me, her salty tears on my tongue for the last time.

"You can do anything, Stefan. You're the strongest, most intelligent, capable man. You don't need me."

When I rock a bit, the SUV coming to a stop behind Bonnie's car, I feel like the floor is falling out from beneath me, my eyes dancing from her face to Bonnie's brake lights in the near dusk night, to Elena's wet, shining lips, then caught up by endless, deep brown eyes… the last time I'll be able to hold her face in my hands. The last time I'll look into her eyes.

BONNIE's POV

One look at Stefan and I know that Elena and Gia have told him.

I've always had a healthy fear of Stefan and his blood lust and his strength, but there is something about seeing him like this; torn down and deconstructed, holding Elena's hand and moving almost on auto-pilot – it's truly terrifying.

Gia said that she and I need to stay strong, appear confident – I'm trying so hard, wiping the tears from my face as soon as they leave my lashes, but Elena is trying to comfort Stefan and it's just heartbreaking.

"If she gives you trouble about taking a bath, just offer to put bubbles in it and she'll give in." My eyes are on the fallen, damp leaves that cover the path we're on, but from the corner of my eye I see her hug against his arm as he nods in silence. "Allie loves fruit, but don't let her eat too much or she'll get a stomach ache. And if she says she wants coffee she means chocolate milk… she likes to drink it out of a coffee mug with me in the mornings." Elena's voice breaks from the distant, cool tone, and I immediately look up – catching Stefan wrapping his arm around her and kissing her hair. "She's, um" Now Elena is really crying and I can't stop my tears from falling faster – I grew up without my mom, I know what Allie is in for. "She's scared of the dark, so I packed her princess nightlight."

"Don't worry, Elena, I'll take care of her." Stefan says, barely loud enough for me to hear, but it breaks my heart for her and it breaks my heart for him and I'm so angry that this how things are going to end for my best friend and her soulmate. I want to tell her that she may be fine – she may wake up a vampire and then she can feed off of me and she and Stefan and Allie can run together. But there is something in the heavy evening air, a weighted feeling that tells me to keep quiet, don't give them false hope… let them have their moment of closure, let them say their goodbyes.

For once, I don't butt in. I don't give my opinion. I don't ruin what they have and I wish to God I would have taken this high road more often in the past.

STEFAN's POV

I'm praying and pleading and I'm begging God and making every bargain I can think of as I hold Elena against me, closing the distance and taking step after step – bringing her closer to Elijah – wishing I would have stayed away from her when I woke as human in Rome. I've failed… as I lead Elena to her death, I know I have failed.

"Stefan." Rebekah coos at me, her voice has always been slightly snake like – too smooth, slippery and cold in her thick accent. It's instinct to step in front of Elena, protect her from Rebekah as she steps from the trees – I'm scanning the near dark and spot a large black SUV parked to the far right of the house. "We were beginning to wonder if you'd backed out of our deal and sent your brother and the blond in your place." I'm about to ask her what she's talking about, but my voice stops when I hear Caroline scream. My body flinches to move, but I can't leave Elena… I won't. Flipping her hair back, Rebekah adds, "As you can imagine, Elijah is not happy with her." Caroline's voice cuts into the damp air once more and bounces from the thick trees surrounding us. "Come on… let's get this over with, shall we?"

Rounding the last curve of the path, my eyes land on Caroline immediately – Elena's grip on my hand squeezes tightly as she takes in the sight of Caroline tied down, burn marks over her bare arms and legs, and Elijah standing over her, taunting her skin with a burning torch. It's a lot like the sun and the moon curse – the helpless feeling of knowing I've lost, the suffocating regret of ever beginning down this road. As we move closer to them, I realize Caroline is not tied down – her hands and her feet are staked straight thru and nailed to the ground.

"Stop!" I yell, again moving in front of Elena as we approach - Elijah lowers the torch to Caroline's face. "That's enough, Elijah!"

The way Elijah moves, slow and smooth, it's eerie – lifting the flame from Caroline just before it touched her skin and pivoting to face his sister escorting the four of us, he gives a smile when he spots me. I wonder if he's finding pleasure in my appearance – I'm a mess, a crumpled and worn version of the vampire he's used to seeing. When his smile widens, I'm sure of it. He's proud of what he's done to me.

"Hello, Stefan. Elena." Giving us each a formal nod, he tosses the torch onto the ground, too close to Caroline for my liking, but I can't deal with that right now. As Caroline's cries quiet down, I pick up the near silent sound of barely-there whimpers… shivering cries muffled by what I imagine are tiny, three year old hands.

"Where is she? Where's Allie?" I'm searching the open courtyard of the dilapidated plantation style home, trying to find where the cries of my daughter are coming from. "Is she hurt?"

"Not yet." Rebekah quips, licking her fangs with her tongue in a grotesque attempt at being sexy.

The growl that escapes me is intentional. I want to rip her into pieces just like I did her brother.

"You two." Elijah huffs, wiping his hands on a snow white handkerchief, kicking a little dirt into Caroline's face, then looking to Elena as he says, "I don't think their romance was ever settled." When I don't respond to his goading, he continues. "I see you brought along you're witches. Let's get started then and you can have your spawn – unharmed, as per our agreement."

It just hits me that this may end in more bloodshed than has already been promised – I negotiated my life, not Elena's.

Swallowing hard, I force my lungs to give my vocal chords air – to create a voice and my lips to form words – words that sound foreign. I have to look back at her, look deep into her endless eyes for the strength. "Elena is going to do the sacrifice."

Pursing her lips, she nods and raises my hand to her face – kissing my wedding band.

"That is not our deal, Stefan." Elijah's voice is lower now – there's no doubt in my mind that he's not happy with this turn of events. "You took the life of my brothers. You've trapped Klaus for years, now. It is not Elena's life that I desire."

"It's the only way." Gia calls from behind me, taking wide steps as she passes Elena and I, closing the distance to where Elijah is standing over Caroline. "Elena, or not at all."

"Let's kill her, Elijah." Rebekah whines, moving in a slow circle around us.

I'm watching her, ready for her to make a move so I can kill Elijah's last sibling, but he speaks before she loses her patience and before I get my vengeance.

"You Salvatore's. It never ends well for those you love… I believe I recall Niklaus warning you, Stefan. Didn't he say you'd be death of her?" I hope Elijah doesn't see how painful the truth is when I hear it aloud… I am the cause of Elena's death. This is the cost for loving me. "Well come on then, hand her over."

I feel Elena clutch onto my arm, feel the tremor go through her body.

"Give us Allie. Allie first." I can't speak in full sentences. "And Caroline." I'm facing my nightmare – Elena dying – and I'm losing.

With a roll of his eyes, Elijah gestures with his hand to the SUV and Rebekah speeds across the yard as he pulls the stakes from Caroline's hands and feet.

"Mommy!" Allie screams, running at full speed on her little legs – her clothes are dirty, scuffs against her soft, round face. Elena lets go of my hand and falls to her knees as Allie slams into her body. I can't watch and I can't look away – my wife and my daughter, sobbing into one another's embrace; this is their goodbye.

"Allie. Allie, are you okay, sweetheart?"

"Mommy, I was so scared!"

"It's okay, you're okay now." I watch as Elena calms our daughter, brushing her hair down with her fingers, holding her small face in her hands. Shushing her cries and kissing her cheeks.

"I want to go home, Mommy!" Allie cries loudly, the wild look in her eyes shakes me to my core.

"Calm down, baby. It's okay. You're okay." As Allie's cries begin to ease, Elena looks to me, then to Caroline – limping towards me, holding my shoulder for balance. When I look to Caroline, my stomach sinks, my muscles ache with knowledge of what is to come – Bonnie and Gia are standing with Elijah as Rebekah pulls Klaus' coffin from the SUV – they're watching us, waiting. "I want you to go with Caroline."

"No!" Allie cries, clinging to Elena's neck. "No mommy! I want to stay with you!"

"I'll be right behind you. I'll come with you okay. I just have to stay behind for a bit." I'm amazed at how smooth Elena's voice is – soft and confident, motherly and full of love. Pulling Allie's dirty arms with scraped elbows from around her neck, Elena looks at our daughter and gives a sweet smile, "Trust me?" Allie nods, softly, barely there. "Go with Caroline. Stefan will come and get you and we'll all meet up very soon. Okay?" Again she nods, I can't see Allie's face, but I can hear her shaky breath. "I love you. I love you, Allie. Remember that, always. I love you."

I have to close my eyes – I can't watch Elena kissing her forehead, telling our daughter goodbye. I just can't. I have to make it through this, I have to keep Allie safe… I can't let myself crumble.

When Allie's crying starts again, the shrieking cries for her mommy, I open my eyes and see Caroline moving away from us, heading back towards Bonnie and Elena's vehicles, Allie's crying face on her shoulder as she reaches into the night towards Elena – screaming for her mommy.

"Dramatic, just like her mother." I hear Rebekah's snide comment, but do my best to not show her I heard.

Wiping her eyes with the back of her hands, Elena looks to me with that same confident, its going to be alright smile and reaches her hand out for mine. "Ready?"

Biting my shaking lip hard between my teeth, I don't lie – I can't. My brow knitted together, I close my eyes and shake my head no. I can't do this. I can't let her die. I can't live with her.

"Stefan." When she says my name, wrapping her arms around my neck, pressing her face against my neck, I can't enjoy it – my only thought is that this will be the last time she ever hugs me. The last time I'll hear my name in Elena's voice.

"Please…" I cry, my fingers kneading against the small of her back. "I can't. Not without you."

Elena kisses my neck, then my jawline, once on my lips, then takes my face in her hands and looks into my eyes – her deep endless dark eyes to my green, "Run. Take our perfect, sweet little girl and go somewhere you've never been. Keep her safe and love her and be her father."

I know it's a silly question – she's not going to make it. Elena is not going to live through this, but the words escape my shaking lips, "How will you find us?"

Kissing me again – hard and desperate – she rests her forehead against mine, her fingers brush back the short hair over my ears. "I love you" When she steps away, my arms reach out for her and I step with her – I can't let her go – but Elena gently pushes my hands down, then takes another step away, leaving me. "I'll always find my way back to you, Stefan."

DAMON's POV

I'm nearly back from my car, carrying the bags of Kol's body parts that I've offered Elijah along with Caroline's life, and I'm moving as quickly as I can when I pick up the sounds of chanting – Latin chanting in female voices.

Dropping the bags, I speed the rest of the distance, turning the last curve I start to yell – to tell them to stop and that I have Kol, but I run into Stefan.

I run into Stefan?

"What are you doing?" I ask – taking in his scrunched up face and furrowed brow, the shaking of his body. "Where's Elena! What are you doing?" I push him out of my way. "You left her?"

He shrugs, crying harder than I've seen before. "She swallowed the fig tree powder before Bonnie could stop her."

"No!" I push him again and this time he fights back, holding me. I know what that means… but I can't fail. "Let go of me, Stefan!" I shove harder. I need to save my brother's wife. I need to stop this. I need to save my brother. It's my job. A job I've failed at over and over! "Move, Stefan!" I try again – this time throwing a hard left hook and knocking him to one knee.

Stefan is stronger than me – with Kol's blood in his system and his odd strength from becoming a vampire twice – so I'm ready for him to fight back, but he stays on the ground as the chanting picks up along with the cool wind.

"Fight me!" I hit him again. Hard. As hard as I can! I want him to get up and fight or come with me and save Elena. But he just stays on his knees, his nose bleeding from my punches, accepting the beating. "Stefan, get up! Fight!"

Grabbing his jacket, I pull my brother to his feet – shaking him. "Damnit, Stefan!"

He just cries – the latin loud in our sensitive ears, the wind now whipping through the trees. I move to hit him again. I don't know why. It's just our natural way, I guess – fighting. But when I start to bring a third fist to his face something in me stops, probably the way he's looking at me… I can see my little brother, just six years old, crying like this at our mothers' grave. The same red lips with his teeth pressed into them, the same bloodshot green eyes, the same lost look on his face … so I do as I should have done then, I hug my baby brother.

ELENA's POV

With Klaus' coffin next to me, Rebekah and Elijah are creating the circle with Bonnie and Gia – they're all holding hands as Bonnie and Gia's chanting gets quieter.

It doesn't hurt. I know it's happening when I start to lose the sensation of the cool, damp ground against my back and legs, when I can no longer feel the dirt against the palms of my hands. My mind starts to slow, my breathing calming from its rapid and rhythm-less pace. It's probably a survival instinct, the picturing of Allie when she was a baby, wobbling across the Persian rug at my parents' home – her wide, toothless smile and bright green eyes that look so much her like her fathers. My memory starts to play my happiest thoughts – playing tea party with Allie, making love with Stefan in so many scenarios, seeing him in history class that first day, waking up next to him, holding Allie for the first time, hearing her say Mommy, getting my first kiss from her tiny little lips. I see my mom and dad and Jeremy sitting around the kitchen table – laughing and talking, the sun bright through the windows the leaves of the trees outside shining and green.

Green like Stefan's eyes, green like Allie's eyes.

It's peaceful, calm and still. The cool air slowly replaced by warmth. My mom's voice playing through my mind, telling me it's okay, to rest.

With a slow exhale, I do as she asks, and I let go.

**Epilogue to follow**