Soulmate AU

25.- Gazing into each other's eyes

Soulmates shall recognize each other by the distinctive mark in each other's eyes.

Castiel had learnt that while being very young, that's why the twenty-something librarian spent half of his life looking straight into the eyes of everyone he met.

Dean, the young history student and part-time barista at the local coffee shop spent a similar amount of time doing exactly the opposite. Because, even when he had seen it happened over and over around him, he didn't believe to have a soulmate would guarantee a fairy-tale's 'happily ever after'.

They both knew that chances were still opened. That there were soulmates that became best friends, that there were perfect matches trapped in a living hell. And that they were meant to meet.

Hunger it's a funny thing. You can be starving and suddenly forget everything about it, until the ache on your stomach remainds you what was going on before you've got distracted. Or, you can be perfectly well, until boredom comes or you see an ad of a big burger with cheese and bacon, waiting for you to eat it. Castiel saw a chocolate cake. Well, he actually saw the picture of a happy couple sharing it, and maybe, just maybe he is starving for that too. After all, has been too long since he was with anyone.

He walked into the coffee shop, not too big, but far fancier than the small truck where he used to get his morning coffee. The list of beverages called his eye and suddenly he found himself planning a larger order than he had in mind when he walked in. "Well, that's how marketing works." He thought.

Dean saw the short line of people and decided to check for supplies, just in case there were something that might run out. Fortunately, everything seemed leveled. He made two large lattes, served one muffin and a croissant.

"Chai latte for... Castiel..." He called. The name rolled awkwardly easy on his tongue.

"Here." The young man said, approaching the counter. He let the bill on top of it.

"I'll get your cake in no time."

"Thank you."

Dean could feel the man looking for his eyes. Somehow, that make him nervous and accidentally he cut a slightly bigger slice of cake. "There you go, sir. Enjoy your food." He said, according to the service code.

"Thank you..." Castiel leaned forward a bit to read the label on the barista's shirt. "Dean." He said, and smiled, even when the man was looking down.

Dean looked up. The way his name sounded was so new and something warm forced him to look for the face that owned that voice.

Their eyes met. Three seconds. Five. Fifteen. Cas's hands were shaking and Dean tried to say something, to look away, but nothing happened.

"Oh my god is you, isn't it?" Castiel finally said, his eyes still fixed on Dean's.

"I... I think so... It's I mean... I didn't know it was like that." The barista whispered.

They kept glancing, until a Dean's co-worked pinched his arm and forced him to pay attention to his job, that he gladly would do, but Castiel called his eye again. "Wait... Dean... we... we should talk, don't you think?"

"I'm working right now, I can't... but..." He said, making a great effort to focus on the next orders.

"What time do you get off? I... I could wait." Castiel offered, without understand why the man behave like that.

"Shift rotation is in about thirty minutes. You can sit if you like. After that we could take a walk in the park or, I don't know... sit somewhere, it's that ok?"

Cas smiled, and Dean felt doomed. It was supposed to be the eyes person what drawn him to his soulmate, the goddamned smile was like an extra tax. Too much for him to handle.

Castiel sat facing the counter and pulled out a book. Time to time he glanced at the man and their eyes met. Dean was right. There's no way they could know it was like that. People used to say that their life turned around in one second. That second, but Castiel felt something even more powerful and at the same time, so normal. Cas felt home.

And even when Dean would take a long time to admit it, he felt exactly the same. It was odd and scary as hell to think he could feel like that about someone he had just met. That never mind what he thought or what would happen after today, Castiel would always be someone unique in his life. He had never felt incomplete, and he didn't feel complete when he saw Cas. He just stopped feeling alone.

Castiel was mostly confused. He had imagined this so many times and no one of the hundred of scenarios he invented matched the real one. And Dean was... Cas failed to find the words to describe him. Dean was going to make a mess of him. He woke and brought to live sensations that Castiel just knew by name, things that he just had scratched the surface. Dean crawled deeply inside him and made him wonder if he was truly ready to start a life with someone. Someone, that, after all, he had just met.

The time passed and Cas focused on his book, when a cough sound called his attention. Dean was ready to go. They left the coffee shop and walked around the little park in front, without saying anything. Their eyes didn't meet again, so it almost started to feel like a mistake when Dean said "Hey, you're the one who said we needed to talk, and... I don't have a lot of time, I have class in like an hour, so if you really wanna say something you better start talking."

"What do you study?" Castiel simply asked.

They stood there, facing each other. "History." Dean shortly replied. "Do you go to college or... work?" He asked, politely.

"I work at the public librarian." Castiel replied. He wanted to say so much about how he really enjoyed his work and how much time he had worked there, but instead, he fell quiet immediately. He knew Dean was getting bored. "Look, I know this is strange and awkward but... It's not like we can help it so, why don't we try to... make it easier?"

"Easier?" Dean asked, confused. Their eyes met and they stared for a second. "How can we make it easier?"

"By getting to know each other. I... we are not doomed or sentenced, we can still... we are still free to choose what we will do about this." He said, gazing at Dean.

Dean could feel the blood running through his veins when Castiel looked at him like that. "Yeah, right." He managed to say with sarcasm. "So what? We just met, see if we like each other and then if we don't we just walk away? You know that's not possible, right? After today, after this exactly moment we could even die if we stay away for long enough, did you know that?"

"Yes, I'm aware. I'm also aware that soulmates can be just friends. That is not a chain, but someone who is gonna be with you forever."

"Even if they turn it into a living hell." Dean replied.

"Well, I don't have intention to turn your life into a living hell." Castiel emphasized the last part, getting slightly annoyed by his soulmate's atitude.

Dean laughed. "This is so ridiculous. Just... Christ. Look, I'm not closing the door to this, I'm just saying that..." He felt silence when his eyes met Cas for several seconds. "You're not what I expected."

"How did you expect me to be? A girl?"

"What? no... I just... It's just you're kinda cute." He said, shyly.

Castiel blushed, Dean caught just the moment when his eyes lighted up. "How is that bad?" He asked, truly confused. "Are... are you with someone? Because if is that, I totally understand that..." And unfotunately, Dean also witnessed when Cas's eyes fell after saying that.

"No. Hell, no." Dean replied at once. "Nothing, it's just... look, Cas, I just don't think I'm ready for this." He said, trying to reduce to one phrase all his thoughts and feelings about the soulmates issue. Castiel seemed uncomfortable with something. "What is it?" Dean asked, then he realized. "Come on! Don't tell me that no one call you Cas."

"No one does." Castiel replied. "But then, I don't have so many friends, so I guess that reduce the odds."

Dean laughed and they stared at each other for a long while. "Alright. You've got yourself a date." The student said, rolling his eyes.

Castiel laughed. "I didn't ask for it, but if you want, I guess it's ok." He said, teasing Dean. "Let's go for lunch on saturday or sunday, it's that ok?"

"You're really confident on your 'get to know each other first' technique, aren't you? Alright, I can do lunch. Sunday though, I'm working on saturday." He replied. "and... I have afternoon shift this week, in case you feel a bit odd."

Castiel nodded. "I'm monday to friday, from eight to five in the library. If I'm not in the counter, ask my colleage for me, I'm usually putting in order the..." He made a pause and smirked. "You can find me in the diversity history section. We are putting that together since a few months back... and for we I mean me and my Ipod."

Dean smiled as well. "Yeah, Me and my classmates were planning to go there on next week."

The both looked at their shoes shyly and soon Dean announced he had to leave. "See you around, Cas."

The librarian smiled widely. "See you on Sunday!"

It happened on a Wednesday. On friday, Castiel showed up on the coffee shop again. He asked for a late this time. When he finally met Dean and their eyes found each other's, they both breathe sharply. "We should have each other's number." The barista suggested.

"It's not that bad... I just got scared because your shift is almost over and after that, I don't know where to find you."

Dean smiled and easily his hand took Cas's in. "Well, you found me, so there's nothing to worry about." He let go. "Sit for a while and when I'm off we can go to take some fresh air."

They walked down the street this time. Dean told Cas where he studied. They exchange phone numbers and addresses. "You will be ok until sunday?" Dean asked, concerned.

"I think so. Will you?"

"We'll find out, won't we?" Dean grinned.

They went out on sunday. Lunch was full of jokes, smiles and silent staring. Cas felt how their bond grew stronger, but somehow, Dean seemed to start pushing him away. And that was because Castiel caught him totally out of guard and the man didn't know what to do with everything going on inside him. He needed time to think, but he knew he couldn't keep Castiel away for more than two days.

"Dean." Castiel said, after one of his question was left unanswered. "Look at me. I would be happy to be your friend."

Dean knew Cas was lying. "I don't wanna hurt you, but... how are we supposed to do that without being selfish, uh?" He asked. "Because even when we managed to, I don't know... fight destiny, we're still supposed to see each other every day and... how does it even works?"

"We'll find a way. It's not selfish if we are honest, you know? If you want to be with someone else, or if you don't want me around more than necessary I'll..."

"I want you around." Dean cut him off. "But I also know I'm an ass, ok? so... Having you around means I'm gonna hurt you. See the problem now?"

"I don't think you're an ass."

"You don't know me."

"Dean." Cas required, imponent. "Look at me. This, yes, it is an imposition, but it is up to us if we turn it into something good or the cord we're gonna hang ourselves, ok? I have no intentions to hang myself, so for the last time, stop worrying. I'm not gonna let you hurt me, ok?"

Dean nodded shortly and once Cas expression relaxed, he smiled confidently. "Someone likes to be in charge."

"Shut up." Castiel replied, fighting his smile.

"As you wish." Dean replied. "and talking about wishes... I really wish you say 'yes' to what I'm gonna ask you."

"What is it?" Castiel asked, slightly cautious.

"Come with me to the community anniversary on the beach."

Castiel pretended to think for a second. "Ok."

"I see what you did there." Dean replied. "I can get used to it."

The librarian smiled.

They kept meeting for most of the next days, until party day arrived.

One of the hard parts of being so exposed was that it was easy to tell when someone was with their soulmate. Those two kissing by the bench aren't soulmates, these two girls facing opposite directions are. Dean and Castiel weren't in an 'I met my soulmate' place yet to feel confident wandering around, but they couldn't help. As the days passed by, their bond grown stronger and somehow, even without touching more than necessary, there was a fire inside them, burning slowly, waiting to be unleashed.

They bought cotton candy and sodas and walked around. Dean won a teddy bear for Castiel and he got a giant hog dog for his companion.

It was almost time for the fireworks when a group of people caught Dean's eye. "Are these your friends?" Castiel asked.

"Yeah, I mean, kinda... just some guys from school." Dean replied, without taking his eyes from them.

"Do you wanna go with them?"

Dean looked at Cas "No, no really." He said and shook his head. "I'm here with ya, Cas and... I kinda wanted to show you something."

"That's nice of you." Castiel replied. "What is it? Can it wait until the fireworks? I'm really looking to watch them."

Dean grin grew wider. "Nope. You've gotta come with me now." He grabbed Cas's hand and pulled him.

They left the beach and crossed the street. Castiel was concerned about his lack of concern. He already trust Dean, which could be a mistake. It didn't matter when they arrived to the point Dean wanted them to be. "I have the keys for a couple of weeks."

It was a beautiful cabin, painted in white, with a balcony that looked at the beach. They got upstairs. "This is empty" Castiel pointed out.

"Yeah, I know. My dad's old friend is coming to live here, but he's still with a lot of stuff to solve on Sioux Falls, so me and Sam are taking care of it meanwhile."

"And for taking care of it you mean doing parties and bringing dates over?" Castiel asked, his eyebrow raised.

Dean smiled guiltily. "Let's go to the balcony, before you loose the fireworks. I don't want yet another complain."

Cas laughed and pulled Dean hand. They both were out just when the fireworks started. They lasted about ten minutes, and Dean and Castiel were holding hands for most of it. When it ended, they looked at each other. The sky was clear and a couple of stars showed. Cas said he was tired, so he sat on the floor. Dean sat next to him and they gazed again. "I don't see why people rush into it. Right now, the only thing I know for sure, it's that we are going to be in each other's life forever. I don't wanna run into whatever we are going to do with it."

Dean reached out for Castiel's hand. "It's the first time you say that without looking sad or disappointed."

"Obviously this isn't what I expected." Castiel said, his fingers tracing lines along Dean's hand. "I mean... you're so different from I thought you would be and... somehow I understand you and your reasons. And I thank you for make me slow down and think about it."

"You're a great guy, you know?" Dean said. "And I'm sorry I'm not that excited about this, but... I guess I've seen more of the bad than the good of the system."

Castiel smiled, amused for it and looked up. Somehow, Dean got closer. When Cas's eyes met his again, something had changed. Dean leaned in closer. "Why on earth are you like this?"

"I could ask you the same question." Castiel replied, matter-of-factly.

Dean laughed shyly and he looked at Cas's eyes. He leaned even closer and his lips slowly brushed Cas's "Jesus." He whispered and kissed him roughly.

He had never felt like that before. Not even with his first kiss. It was like a shot of electricity running through all his body, making him shiver and his chest felt warm. When he kissed even deeply, Castiel stopped him, placing a soft hand on his racing heart. "Easy, cowboy."

"Yeah, good luck trying to make me takin' it easy by calling me 'cowboy'" He replied and their forehead touched.

Castiel laughed loudly and clear. Dean kissed his cheek and turned away, founding a way to get comfortable between Cas's arms.

"Slow is nice." He said, brushing Cas's skin with the tip of his fingers.

"I'm glad you agree."

"The rest of our lives, right?" Dean said, looking up at Cas.

"The rest of out lives, indeed."

"As you command, boss." Dean teased.

Castiel squeezed him and they both laughed.