Disclaimer: The characters recognised were created and remain the property of JE. The storyline and characters you don't recognise are my own.

Chapter 24: More Questions than Answers

I woke up the next morning with a sense of anticipation. I was excited about seeing Esteban. He was the first man I felt something for since I had left Trenton, since I had decided to move on from my one-sided relationship with Carlos. Hank and I hit the pavement hard, choosing a 10 mile route and setting a six minute mile pace. It was hard running but we both wanted to build up our speed and endurance prior to heading for Miami. We got back home just before half past nine, giving me just enough time to get ready to meet Esteban. Hank wasn't happy about me seeing him, but once he had said his piece he left the topic alone.

A couple of minutes before ten, my cell phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Stephanie, it's Esteban. I won't be able to make it this morning. We have an issue with an arm of my business that I must take care of immediately. I will be travelling for next two weeks at least. Can I see you when I get back?"

I tried to keep the disappointment out of my voice. "Of course. Have a safe trip."

"I look forward to seeing you. Goodbye Stephanie."

Damn. No moping, I told myself sternly. The old me would have flopped down on the bed and sulked. The new me took this as an opportunity to get my physical ass in gear and hit the gym. I got changed back into my work out gear and headed downstairs to kick ass.

I was half way through a set of pull-ups, when my phone rang. Cursing the interruption, because I knew Hank would make me start the whole set again, I answered the phone with a snappy "What?"

"Am I interrupting?"

I recognised his voice immediately. "Oh, I'm so sorry Esteban" I cringed, cursing my luck. "I was working out and…"

"No, that's fine. I want to see you before I leave. I need to…"

"That would be great, although I should warn you, I'm not at my best. I'm all sweaty and I probably stink."

"What were you doing when I interrupted?"

"Pull ups. I stopped half way through the reps Hank set me and I know he'll make me start again."

"I won't keep you. See you in 15 minutes?"

"Just come around the back and give my cell a call when you get there. I'll let you through the gate once I have Freyja on her lead."

"Bye." See? Some men do have phone manners!

Fifteen minutes later my cell rang. I went out the back and secured Freyja, apologising profusely for putting her on the lead. He rode in on a very, very sexy red motorcycle, a Ducati Desmosedici. Yeah, so sue me, I love cars and bikes. And shopping and shoes. I smiled at Esteban and then walked across to drool over his bike.

"Stephanie? Did you hear me?" I grinned sheepishly at him; I definitely detected a hint of amusement in his voice.

"Sorry Esteban, just admiring your bike. How long have you had it?"

"A couple of weeks, it a…"

"Ducati Desmosedici RR. It's gorgeous." An eyebrow shot up in surprise.

"You know your bikes?" I snorted slightly at the understatement.

"Love my bikes, I used to have a Harley FXDL Dyna Low Rider and rode a Duc 848 for a while. My dream is a black on black 848 Evo." He whistled lowly, eyeing me appreciatively.

"This is my dream bike. I had to practically sell my soul for the last ten years to pay for it, but sometimes…" His expression turned troubled as he trailed off. I automatically reached out to lay a comforting hand on his arm.

"What it is Esteban?"

"Look…can we talk?"

I led him over to the table then excused myself to dash inside to grab a couple of bottles of water. I told Hank that I would be outside with Esteban, and to leave us unless I shouted for help. He agreed not to interrupt as long as Freyja was with me.

I went back outside and was surprised to see Esteban sitting with his head in his hands. Something big was going on in his life that much was obvious; I just hoped he let me in.

"What is it Esteban?"

"Are you planning to stay in Tampico?"

Talk about getting right to the point. "I was planning on heading back to the States in a few months. Can I ask why?"

"I feel something for you Stephanie. I haven't cared about a woman since my wife…"

"You don't have to talk about it, Esteban. Your… your mother told me about what happened to your wife. I am so sorry, so incredibly sorry. I feel something for you as well. But I don't want to take what we have any further until…"

"Me either. There are a lot of external influences in my life at the moment. My business is in danger of what I suppose you could call a hostile takeover and I can't afford to lose focus." I steeled myself at the statement.

"Esteban, I need to be incredibly blunt and ask you something. I would never normally pry into your personal life but I am so confused by what I'm hearing and what I'm feeling."

"Stephanie, can we go inside and talk, somewhere private?"

I thought about that for a minute. He looked so confused, like there was something he needed to say but didn't know how to say it. "Come upstairs with me. I'll let Hank know on the way through."

"You don't trust me?"

"It's not that I don't trust you, just that Hank is like my big brother and he worries about me."

We went back inside and I found Hank in the kitchen, preparing what I hoped was our dinner. I told him that Esteban and I wanted to talk, and I was taking him up to my room. He seemed surprised, and looked me dead in the eye.

"Be careful," he warned. "I don't want you to get hurt."

"It's okay Hank, I need to sort this out before I get any further involved with him."

"I mean it Steph. Be careful."

I led Esteban upstairs and took him into my room, closing the door carefully behind me. He held his finger to his lips and pulled out a small scanner from his jacket pocket. I recognised it instantly from my time with Hector at Rangeman. He was scanning for bugs. And I thought I had trust issues? He looked back at me and nodded.

"All clear."

Now that surprised me, clear, un-accented English. Obviously my surprise was clearly visible on my face.

"I got my MBA at Duke. I got rid of the accent with the help of a linguistics major to help me blend in."

"Why did you scan for bugs?" I wondered out loud.

"I noticed you recognised the scanner." He countered. "Why does a woman like you know what a scanner looks like?"

"Back home I worked as a bond enforcement agent and I also worked part time at a security firm. They scanned for, and planted, bugs all the time."

He nodded in understanding. "What did you want to ask me?"

I didn't want to do this, but I felt like I had to. "I feel awful being this blunt, but I need to know. I feel something could happen between us, but I can't let that happen if what I heard is true. I just feel like you are someone I could get close to and for the first time in a long time, I feel like I can let go, but not until I know."

"Know what?"

I decided to just dive in. "Are you Los Zetas?"

"Yes."

Crap. "Leadership?"

"Yes, in this state I am the leader." My breath left me in a whoosh, and the tentative bricks of my wall I had taken down came all the way back up.

"I'm sorry. I can't…" I turned from him with tears in my eyes. How could I be so wrong? How could I have possibly let myself start to fall for him? Why didn't I listen to Hank?

"Stephanie, there is more."

"I don't want to know. This might be a business to you, but I have seen how bad it is for the people at the other end. I have seen junkies die with a needle in their veins, or kill people to get money for a hit. I have seen women, good women, sell themselves for a hit. You might say it's a business, but that's bullshit and you know it. Innocents get hurt by your "business"." I was in full blown rhino mode, angry with myself more than anything, but happy to give it to him with both barrels. "How would you deal with a kid who begged for help after him mom got raped? I had to just the other day. His mother got raped by a bastard with a Sureños tattoo. He cut her too, just because raping wasn't enough, then beat her until her ribs broke and stole all her money. Why? Because he could, because he is here for the drugs. He scared her so bad she was too frightened to go to the doctor in case they reported it and someone came after her. Yeah, you run your business, while innocents like Connie and Rico suffer."

He held up his hand to indicate it was time to stop my rant. "Wait. You said a Sureños tattoo?"

"Yes, on his neck." I confirmed irritably. Nothing irked me worse than being stopped mid-rant. "Why is that important?"

"Fuck. I want you to stop talking and just listen," he told me firmly. "There is a lot going on that I can't tell you about. What you need to know is that the territorial pissing competition between us and the Gulf Cartel is coming to a head. In two months, this shit will finally be over. You will understand who I am then, but you need to leave here before it happens."

"Why?" I bit out belligerently. I was tired of men trying to dictate to me without giving me reasons. "Why should I listen to you?"

"Because I should have listened when someone warned me, and it cost me my wife and my child!" he shouted furiously. He was seething, shaking with rage. I sat down on my bed, trembling. I was scared, for the first time since I had been in Mexico, I was really scared.

The expression on his face softened a little. "Stephanie, please, tell me, are you sure she said it was a Sureños tattoo? This is more important that you could possibly understand."

"Why?" What was going on here, I wondered?

"I can't tell you everything. All you need know is that the Gulf Cartel and the Sureños are working together and are planning on taking over Tampico, this whole region. If that happens, they will wipe out anyone with ties to Los Zetas and torch our businesses. Ricardo's is Los Zetas property, you and Hank are protected. They will know this and they will kill you both."

Oh… that was why.

He continued. "I thought I knew their timeframe, which is why my parents are leaving in two weeks. If the Sureños are already in town it may escalate sooner than I had planned."

"I only know what Connie told me, which was very little. She didn't want to tell anyone anything."

"Why? Can you take me to her?"

"I don't think she'll talk to you. Her husband was Los Zetas, she said he was killed for talking. She was scared of even getting medical help and barely trusted us at first. I think she only agreed because she's Ana's sister, and Ana trusts us."

"You said Ana's sister?"

I nodded the affirmative. "Yes."

"Ana doesn't have a sister, as far as I know. Her brother was killed years ago, and his wife was good friends with…." His voice drifted off and he was silent for a moment. He cleared his throat and continued, his voice a little huskier than normal. "With my wife. Her brother wasn't killed by us," he said with a frown. "He was killed by the Gulf Cartel, it was their shipment that the DEA intercepted. One of the agents they had paid off told them he was an informant."

"Why should I believe you?"

"I can't tell you anymore, just believe me when I say you will understand once this is all over." His sincerity won me over and I sighed vehemently.

"My gut tells me you are not one of the bad guys. Why is that?"

He sat next to me on the bed and put his arm around my waist.

"Because I'm not, Stephanie. Please, believe me when I say, I'm not." He pressed his lips to my temple and held me tight. "I wish I had met you when this was all over. I wish…"

"Esteban, I can't… I…"

"I know. They destroyed me when they murdered my wife and my baby. I can't stop until this is over. Promise me you will be out of Mexico before the two months is up."

"Why is two months so important?"

"Just trust me on this, please. The Gulf Cartel's attention will be diverted over the next two weeks, they will need time to regroup. I have people on the inside and they will make sure I can get the people I care about relocated. That's my parents and that's you, Stephanie. Please, just trust what I am saying is true." I sighed again.

"I shouldn't, but I will. What will happen to you?"

"I don't know. I have to go. Stephanie…"

He held my face in his hands and kissed me, softly and sweetly. He pulled back after a moment, looking deep into my eyes. His eyes were filled with conflicting emotions, lust and tenderness, but also fear, sadness and anger. I understood the emotions because I felt them as well. Lust, oh yes, there was a great deal of lust. I feared that I would never see him again, that this was indeed goodbye and I was afraid that if I let myself hold him any longer part of my heart would be his forever. I felt angry at myself, because there was another, much larger part of my heart that still belonged to Carlos. Carlos had moved on, he was with the only woman who could possibly be a match for him, why couldn't I?

We stood, and the emotions we both felt took over. I reached up and ran my fingers through his hair, pulling his lips towards mine. Just before our lips met, I whispered "I wish there was more time," and I kissed him. It started where the last one ended, soft and sweet, then Esteban stepped in towards me and pressed his body to mine. His lips softened and parted, almost begging me to open mine. As I did, our kiss deepened, the heat between us increased, firm and passionate but controlled. He pulled back before I was ready, kissing me again but this time gently, almost sorrowfully.

"I have to go. I would like nothing more than to spend the day with you, but I have to deal with this."

"You confuse the crap out of me. I hate what you do but I want you to come back safe," I entreated, biting my lip.

"I already lost Adelita and my baby, promise me you'll stay safe."

"I will."

He kissed me again, but this time? It felt like goodbye.