"Babe." Tara pulled the covers tight over her head and pretended not to hear him. "Tara," Jax said, a little louder this time.
"Go away," she mumbled, her voice muffled by the thick pillows and blankets. She knew it was a big day, but she couldn't bear the thought of getting out of bed. As her belly grew, so did her inability to get a good night's sleep.
Jax chuckled. "Alright," he conceded. "I'll call Dr. Hale and cancel our appointment." Tara sat up and launched a pillow at him on his way out of the room.
"I'm up," she groaned. "I'm up."
Jax grinned as he made his way back to the bed to help her up. The fact that he offered her both of his hands instead of just one did not escape her. She was turning into a whale, and she knew it. Apparently, that happens when you're nearly six months pregnant with twins. Jax kissed her cheek and handed her her robe.
"The girls are already up and have had breakfast. Sophie's ready to go, but Kerrianne hasn't put her phone down long enough to do much of anything yet. She said she's got too much going on to come with us now."
"Shocker," Tara sighed. "Tell me again why we decided to throw her eighteenth birthday party on the same day as the ultrasound?"
"That was all you, babe," Jax teased, shaking his head. "I'll go make you some waffles while you get dressed." Tara watched him as he walked out of the room, and got caught up in one of her moments where she couldn't quite believe her life. They were happening more and more often lately. She'd been content just getting by for so many years, a single mom raising her daughter on the cusp of club life, with no real family to speak of. And now she had the most amazing fiancée, her beautiful daughter, a bonus daughter (as she'd begun calling Kerrianne), and in just a few months, she would be the mother of twins. On top of all that, life in Charming had been relatively peaceful as of late. Gemma's health scare and Thomas' resurrection rattled the club to its core, and seemed to have softened everyone a bit, Gemma most of all. She'd made good on her promise to start rebuilding her relationship with Jax, and had been a constant in their lives recently. Almost like a real grandma. (Minus the cursing and the tight clothing and the drinking and smoking.) Thomas went back and forth between Charming and his apartment in Nevada, but was talking more and more about making the move to California permanently. For all of Tara's trepidation, things had been calm over the past month. Even Chibs and Jax were somewhat getting along, probably because Thomas' return seemed to have lessened Jax's desire to leave Charming. As in, he hadn't spoken of it once. Tara was cautiously optimistic that he'd changed his mind, but she was too afraid to ask.
"This is ridiculous," Tara complained as she took another gulp of ice water. "A normal person couldn't drink this much water in one sitting, let alone someone with two fetuses using their bladder as a pillow." Jax chuckled from the driver's seat as they headed toward Tara's obstetrician's office. "I'm glad you find my pain amusing." He reached across the divider between them and took her hand in his. She smiled, despite the fact that she thought her bladder might explode. "I swear to God, if they make me wait to see the doctor, I'll probably piss all over the waiting room floor.
"Mommy, are you going to pee your pants?" Sophie asked as she bounced excitedly in her booster seat. She erupted into hysterical laughter at her own question.
Tara laughed too, and instantly regretted it. "Nooooo," she teased. "I'm going to pee right here in this car if you keep making me laugh."
"So, Sophie," Jax interrupted, trying to change the tone of the conversation so that Tara did not, in fact, urinate in his car, "what do you think the doctor's going to say today? Do you think you're going to have little sisters or little brothers?"
Sophie grinned from ear to ear. "I think I'm going to have a little brother and a little sister."
"Oh, really?" Jax beamed. "One of each. I like it!"
While Tara had given a little thought to the twins' gender, she hadn't really considered what it would mean, having boys vs. girls. Until now. What if she was having boys? Or, like Sophie wanted, one boy and one girl? A girl would be easy enough. But if she had a little boy, Jax Teller's little boy, would she be able to keep him safe in Charming? What if he liked motorcycles and leather vests and Grandpa Clay's friends? What if the pull of SAMCRO was too strong? It was in the Teller blood, after all.
"Tara," Jax said, shaking her shoulder to derail her train of thought. Only then did she realize they'd arrived at their destination. "You ready, or are you just going to sit here until your bladder gives out?"
She took a deep breath and shook her head to try to clear it. "Let's do this," she said, unbuckling her seatbelt.
Try as she might, Tara couldn't shake the fear growing inside her as she thought of what raising boys in Charming might mean.
"You alright?" Jax asked as he sat beside her, Sophie in his lap, while the ultrasound technician drew squiggly lines of cold blue gel on Tara's belly.
"Yeah," she lied. "Just anxious."
"Momma," Sophie said quietly, watching the technician intently, "it's like finger painting." Tara stifled a laugh, still not trusting her bladder.
"Okay, let's get some pictures of these little peanuts," Dr. Hale announced as she entered the room, an excited smile on her face. She was the same doctor who'd delivered Sophie, so Tara felt a bit like they were old friends. Dr. Hale took the wand from the technician and pressed it to Tara's skin. It didn't hurt, but Tara winced anyway.
The babies had grown so much since Tara's first ultrasound. It was hard to make out what was what- it was all just a jumble of arms and legs and other moving parts. Tara couldn't believe all of that was actually inside her. Jax watched in amazement, but Sophie looked rather worried.
"Those don't look like babies," she whispered, scowling.
"Oh, but they are," Dr. Hale explained. "See this little thing moving right here?" Sophie nodded. "That's a heart. A very strong little heart." She moved the wand to the other side of Tara's stomach. "And here's the other one. We've got ten fingers here, and ten toes. Aaaaand, the same over here. Head size looks good, spines are developing as they should. Everything looks wonderful." Tara let out the breath she didn't realize she was holding, and remembered at once that all that mattered was that the babies were healthy. It was the most important thing, and the only thing she should have been worried about. "Now," Dr. Hale said, grinning at Sophie, "time for the fun part." She stopped herself and looked up at Tara. "We do want to know the sex, right mom and dad?"
"We do," Jax and Tara answered in unison, sounding like they were rehearsing for their as-of-yet unscheduled nuptials.
"Okay, then. Well, it looks like 'Baby A' is….a boy! Definitely a boy." As she said the words, Tara saw what she was looking at on the screen and knew the doctor was right. There was definitely no disputing it.
"He gets that from me," Jax joked. Tara blushed. Dr. Hale looked as if she'd maybe heard that joke one too many times. She just smiled and shifted the position of the wand.
"And 'Baby B,'" she continued, "is- oh boy- another boy!"
"Hell yes!" Jax blurted out, slapping his hand against the wall triumphantly.
"Two brothers?" Sophie asked, her eyes transfixed on the monitor. Tara watched her in silence, worried that she might be disappointed about not getting a baby sister. After a moment, Sophie leaned back in Jax's lap and shrugged her tiny shoulders. "Guess that means we're getting a whole lot of blue stuff," she conceded, seemingly fine with the idea.
"Tara, if you'd like to head to the bathroom and empty your bladder while I print out some pictures and set up your next appointment, go ahead." Tara was halfway to the bathroom before Dr. Hale even finished her sentence. Two boys. Two little boys with Jax Teller's enchanting eyes and mischievous smile. It almost didn't seem fair. Two sons with SAMCRO flowing through their veins, growing up in a town where the name Teller was synonymous with the notorious motorcycle club. The last time there had been two Teller boys in Charming, it ended in disaster. Tara was determined to break that cycle. Whatever hesitation she'd previously felt about leaving Charming faded right there in that small, sterile bathroom. She had to get her family out of Charming. She just hoped Jax was still on board.
As she wiped the remnants of ultrasound goo from her skin, she listened in on Sophie and Jax's conversation in the next room.
"What do you say we take your momma out to lunch to celebrate our exciting news?" Jax asked. "Two baby boys is a big deal!"
Sophie gasped, suddenly realizing something. "Daddy!" The word hung in the air, surrounded by complete silence, for just a moment. "I mean Jax," she recovered. "Jax, you're not going to be the only boy in the house anymore. Are you happy about that?"
Jax's voice was wistful when he responded. It might have been accidental, but Sophie had just called him 'Dad.' "Yeah, monster. I'm incredibly happy right now."
Tara was thankful for the distraction of a houseful of people. She wasn't ready to have a conversation with Jax about leaving Charming just yet, mostly because she had no idea where his head was at with all of it. She felt like her entire life had been in freefall since Jax's return to Charming, and there was no sign of solid ground yet. Maybe that was because solid ground was awaiting her in San Diego. Maybe it had been ever since she made the decision to let Jax leave Charming without her when they were teenagers.
"Her royal highness is ready for cake," Jax announced as he entered the kitchen. Kerrianne and a dozen or so of her friends from school were out playing volleyball in the backyard, while the club took up residence inside the house. Kerrianne's friends seemed a bit spooked by her rough-around-the-edges family, and for good reason.
"Alright," Tara sighed, digging a lighter out of the junk drawer. "You grab Chibs, I'll go find Sophie."
"Sucks my mom and Tom aren't here yet," Jax said as he walked out of the room.
"Yeah," Tara agreed. "I wonder what's taking them so long."
She found Sophie hiding in her room, playing quietly with her Barbie dolls. It was very unlike the budding social butterfly. She loved Kerrianne and her friends.
"Soph, what are you doing in here?" she asked, sitting down on the end of her bed. It felt good to sit down. She'd been running around all day, and her feet were swollen to double their normal size.
"Just playing," Sophie responded quietly.
"There's a party going on out there, you know."
"Yeah, I know. I just don't want to see Daddy right now."
"What? Why in the world would you say that?"
Sophie turned to her mother, her lower lip quivering as her eyes filled with tears. "Because I'm worried that he's going to be upset with me for what I said. I didn't mean to call Jax 'Daddy.' It was an accident."
"Oh, baby," Tara sighed. "Come here." Her daughter climbed into what was left of her lap and began to cry. The twins were now taking up most of her good sitting space. She wished she'd had Sophie's problems as a child- too many people who loved and adored her. For Tara, it was the exact opposite. Still, she could see that to Sophie, having two father figures in her life was incredibly confusing. "First of all, you have nothing to worry about. I'm not going to tell your dad what happened today, and neither is Jax."
"You promise?"
"I promise," Tara said, hooking her pinky with Sophie's. "But you know what? I don't think your daddy would be upset at all, even if he did find out, even if you decided you want to start calling Jax 'Daddy,' too. Chibs will always be your dad, just like I will always be your mom. And I think it would make him happy to know that you have someone else in your life that loves you as much as he does. I know that if Chibs found someone he wanted to marry and have more babies with, I would be so happy if you loved her enough to think of her as a second mommy. Loving Jax doesn't mean you love your father any less. Just like I'm going to love these babies, so much, but it doesn't mean I'll ever stop loving you." Sophie wiped away tears as she listened to her mother's reasoning. "So you can call Jax 'Jax,' or you can call him 'Dad,' or whatever you want. Nobody's going to be upset with you."
"Just don't call me ugly," Jax interrupted from the doorway. "I'm very sensitive about my looks." Tara had no idea how long he'd been standing there. Sophie giggled as he entered the room. "Your mom's right, little monster. About all of it. You just do whatever feels right for you, okay?" Sophie nodded.
"Do you have any questions?" Tara asked."
Sophie chewed on her fingers as she spoke. "Not about what to call Jax. But what are we gonna call the babies?" Jax and Tara looked at one another. She'd thought about baby names, and assumed he had, too, but they hadn't talked about it yet.
"Hmmm," Tara hummed, pressing her lips together. "I kind of like Elijah and Elliot."
Jax raised an eyebrow. "I thought you didn't want names that rhyme?"
"What?" Tara scoffed, her face fixed into a frown. "Those names don't rhyme. They coordinate. There's a difference."
"Oh, right," Jax laughed, taking a seat beside her on Sophie's bed. "I was kind of thinking I like the name Wyatt. You know, like Wyatt Earp, the baddest cowboy in the west?"
"'Teller' isn't outlaw enough for you?" Tara teased. "I like that, actually. And I was thinking we could give them our fathers' names as middle names. Elijah John and Wyatt Daniel?"
"Perfect," Jax said, a wide grin spreading across his face. "Look how easy that was." He kissed Tara tenderly, but not too inappropriately. Little eyes were watching. "What do you think, Soph? Do you like those names?"
"Yes!" she shouted, jumping down off her bed. "Elijah John and Wyatt Daniel. I'm going to tell Daddy and Sissy." She was out of the room before Tara could stop her. Simultaneously, Jax and Tara took deep, cleansing breaths.
"What a day, huh?" he asked, wrapping his arm around her shoulders.
"What a day…" she agreed.
Kerrianne had just finished blowing out her candles when the front door opened. In walked Gemma and Clay, looking larger than life, as usual.
"Ma," Jax called out over the crowd. "Where you been? We've got news for you!"
"We've got some news for you, too, son," Clay interjected, a sly grin on his face. Something about it unsettled Tara. She stood beside Jax, her hand on his shoulder. Clay and Gemma parted, just enough for Thomas to step in between them. He was wearing a smile that engulfed the rest of his face, and a shiny leather vest. Tara's heart stopped. She felt Jax tense up beside her. Thomas spun around to show them what was on the back of the jacket, but they already knew. A prospect patch. Gemma beamed with pride as Clay lorded over her youngest son with a sense of ownership. And he did own Thomas now, Tara supposed. He was the club president. Thomas was his slave for the next year, at least. And if the club decided to patch him in, he would be subservient to SAMCRO, and Clay, for the rest of his life, which was the very thing JT had gone to great lengths to try to prevent. While Jax grasped for words, trying to choose them carefully, Tara knew exactly what he was worried about. It was the same thing she'd begun worrying about earlier that day, when she found out she was having boys. But what had her more concerned in that moment was the way Thomas and Kerrianne were making eyes at one another when they thought no one else was looking. Kerrianne had already gotten tangled up with one prospect, and it had been a disaster. But she was eighteen now. Her and Thomas wouldn't be a disaster. They would be an atomic bomb. And Tara had to get her family out of the blast zone. Quick.