Rachel didn't properly see Young Do for the next month and a half.
The two very different boys in her life were unraveling.
Usually that was her role.
But it was almost comical how these two, tall, handsome boys were cracking.
Comical, if she had a sick sense of humor.
Which she didn't.
Have a sense of humor, that is.
Johnny had arrived in a storm of weary handsomeness, pouty lips, and sad eyes. He'd holed himself up in her room.
Then his room.
Then her room.
He wouldn't tell her what was wrong, but something definitely was.
And then he'd disappear.
For the entire night.
And then come back. Sober, yet disheveled.
If he spent the night with different women, he'd stopped telling her about those stories a while ago.
But one-night stands weren't really Johnny's thing…he preferred…actually Rachel preferred not to know what he preferred…
He had yet to mention his father, but she knew he'd gone home too. And he'd come back looking haunted.
As if he'd seen vengeful ghosts.
After two weeks of this…Johnny went home.
"My mother wants me to stay with her. And I should. I'll be back soon."
Rachel had hugged him tight then. And he'd hugged back.
Before he left, his parting words were, "Tell Young Do he can come over now if he wants. Except. I will kick his ass if he does anything."
And so Rachel was alone at home again.
And then Young Do decided to pay her a visit at home.
Young Do had been paying her a lot of visits at her…locker.
The rest was at school.
Ever since that phone call, he'd all but stormed around school.
Rachel had a feeling his father had something to do with that…because…
In some ways, he was becoming the old Young Do again.
He didn't engage in anything outright, but she could see the fright in the other students when he'd walk by.
And now…he seemed to be relishing it again. He hadn't done anything.
Not that she knew of…
But she was starting to see the same behaviors crop up: welfare students quaking as he walked by; students literally creating a path for him—some trampling over each other to get out of his way; girls turning right back around as soon as they saw him…
If he became the person he was before, she would probably have to murder him.
Except…he hadn't done anything…
Yet.
And she was scared.
Johnny had been withdrawing into himself at home. And he'd left her.
And Young Do was externalizing his problems.
Again…she hadn't heard anything…but…he'd said it himself, a tiger couldn't change its stripes…and he seemed to be dawning them again…
Because it was the subtle things…the way he stood. The way he spoke. The way he clenched his jaw.
The way he—
On two…two separate occasions, he'd appeared at her locker, during lunch, a storm brewing in his eyes…
And he'd asked if she was busy…and when she'd said no…
He'd grabbed her wrist, and pulled her into the nearest empty classroom, and kissed her.
And not in his usual, gentle, lackadaisical way…—he'd backed her against the wall…his tongue, hot in her mouth…his hands, everywhere…then his mouth, on her neck…she was plastered against his chest and she could feel how muscular he was…how strong he was…and then…his body reacted…and instantly he'd pulled away…and given her a soft, apologetic kiss.
Then helped her fix her clothes and hair.
And lipstick. Which started them off again.
He'd wiped it off his lips. And then ran his thumb underneath hers. He brushed the edge of her lips, and then tilted her chin up, and then sucked on her lower lip.
Her tight hold on his forearms was the only thing keeping her standing. She stayed still while he continued to slant his mouth over hers again and again.
Young Do's height was one of her favorite things. And it enthralled her to no end when he would bend for her.
The way his head tilted fully to side to accommodate her. The way he pulled her to him—
Young Do walked her back to her locker.
She didn't see him in class.
All she got was a text at midnight saying, "Don't stay up late. Sleep well."
The second time, he looked…like he was going to cry.
There were no tears. Or trembling lips.
She wasn't actually sure how boys cried…Johnny only cried twice…and it had been clenched fists, clenched jaw, labored breathing, and a string of curses.
Young Do just looked…heartbroken…
And…furious…
If it was possible to be both.
He'd managed it.
Rachel had wanted to hug him and run away at the same time. He wouldn't tell her what was wrong.
This time, he'd taken her hand. Gently.
And led her to the broadcasting room.
The broadcasting room…a lot of things happened in this room.
Where she'd finally given up on Tan. Where she'd found out about Young Do's past.
There was newly placed couch there…
And Young Do wanted to make good use of it.
Nasty Rachel. Perverted Rachel. They didn't need to say anything.
Rachel wasn't dumb…she knew there would be eventually be some emotional outburst that was waiting to happen…
Either from her…or him.
Most likely her.
But in the meantime—she liked him. He liked her. He wanted to do things. She wanted to, too.
Clearly, there was something going on with him…and she knew the phone call had triggered it…but she wasn't exactly complaining…when he kissed her the way he was kissing her…
Unless…she got wind of him resuming his old activities.
Thenshe would wreak havoc on him if he went back to his old ways.
These were the things she was thinking of while he settled her on his lap. And then…kissed her senseless. She couldn't think anymore…
Sitting on his lap was different. It was more intimate.
And he kissed her intimately. None of the roughness from the previous time.
This was…deeper than his usual style.
His hands kept sliding up and down her (stockinged) legs. This time his kisses were…languid. Slow. Thorough.
Young Do seemed intent on making her sigh. And sleepy.
She kept sighing into his mouth, as he sucked on her tongue. And her lower lip.
They only stopped when the bell rang. And both had heavy eyelids and swollen lips. And neither wanted to stop.
She also walked into the door, on her way out, that's how disoriented he'd made her.
He didn't laugh though. The stormy look was back his eyes. He only took her hand, quietly.
If his mood was the weather—it would be large, black clouds. With thunderbolts and lightning.
The third time…
Young Do definitely was up to something.
He was moody. Quiet. And she now knew there had been outbursts during gym. Which served as a disguise.
But if she saw those two losers who he used to hang out with…
Rachel had never really been aware of Young Do's tactics, but she had known Tan's.
And she could feel her stomach clenched with anxiety…
Why was Young Do regressing? Why was he…just…why?
And where did that leave her?
Young Do's appearance in school increased.
He was there every day.
And she knew it was driving him crazy. She could feel the hostility emanating from him…not towards her…but…still…
The only good thing was that it caused him to be more…affectionate.
Young Do was…childlike, sometimes.
One thing he always did was grab the hem of her skirt, when he would lean against her locker…
True, her skirts were shorter than standard—and he would have to lean his shoulder, and stand in such a way to do so…but he did it a lot…and she noticed it was when he was annoyed about something…
She only saw him at school. And she knew that bothered him…not seeing her…
Johnny had come back for a while…but was to go back in a few days…
And he wasn't telling her anything either.
He'd only mumbled something about a shoot, and how it would be easier from Rachel's house.
No one was saying anything, yet they were miserable.
Johnny hadn't been rude, but he was definitely distracted…and sometimes he lost his patience with her.
And he didn't like the idea of Young Do being in Rachel's room.
"I know what he's like."
"Like what? What the hell are you talking about?" Rachel had snapped.
"He's like me, Rachel. And I wouldn't leave you alone with someone like me."
There was a beat as they both comprehended the stupidity of his statement.
"Shut up, Rachel." Johnny flushed.
She hadn't said anything, but he knew she was going to.
"You shut up. That was such a stupid statement."
"You're a stupid statement."
"No, you are."
"No, you are."
It had disintegrated after that.
But…Johnny was being protective or something.
And with the way Young Do was at school, Rachel was glad for some restrictions.
She wanted to jump on Young Do and take off his shirt sometimes. In class. Against the lockers.
Sometimes, she wanted to take his hand…and just…go wild.
Sometimes Young Do would play with locks of her hair while she talked…
He would take a strand and twist it around his finger…"You always smell so good. Your hair always smells good," he'd marvel quietly.
And in that deep voice of his it would sound like a purr…
Young Do really did not care who saw.
He'd also started walking down the hallways, holding her hand. Properly.
Other times he'd sling his arm around her shoulder.
Rachel knew other people had noticed.
Kim Tan being at the forefront. But other than exchanging a heated glare with Young Do…he didn't say anything.
Rachel had gotten bolder with her touches too:
She would link her arm through his. She would let her hand rest on his arm.
One time, accidentally-on-purpose, she felt his abs as she pushed him away from her locker.
And then she decided to keep her hand there a little longer, since it looked innocent enough.
Although he'd been storming around like a…hurricane…he'd looked thoroughly amused at her gesture.
She'd smiled up at him cheekily…and he'd finally smiled…for the first time in a long time.
But this was a single occurrence…eventually things got worse…as everything usually went for her.
And two things came out of that… ("What a choice of words," Perverted Rachel snickered)
One: Rachel was able to confirm that while Young Do was not actively inflicting violence on anyone…he was barely restraining himself…
And that restraint was due in part to Rachel…and Myung Soo. Who had seriously threatened to sever relations with Young Do if he started with his old ways.
Two: Rachel eventually gave in to her wildness, and made a very bold gesture.
If Chan Young was a thorn in her academic side, then…
Yun Yong-Jin was just a pain in the ass.
He was constantly trying to undermine her points in class. Always contradicting what she was saying…
After another annoying class, where she could feel the tension radiating off of Young Do, so that was stressful enough…Yong Jin had constantly challenged everything she said…
Rachel was wondering if she would be able to get Young Do to shake up Yong Jin a bit…
And in Young Do's current state, all he would have to do was stand there, and Yong Jin would probably wet himself.
But, no she wouldn't do that…
It was aggravating nonetheless, because her nerves were shot.
Omma, was flying in tonight, and forcing Rachel to go to some stupid event.
She had also told her off on the phone for "fighting with Johnny"…and Rachel was furious with Johnny.
Except, he hadn't tattled. Omma had just tricked Rachel into admitting that she was fighting with him.
And so she was annoyed at Johnny, but she had to be kind. And she wanted to, really, really wanted to.
But she also wanted to punch him in the face.
Also, because he was excused from going to the event. Yet, Rachel had to accompany Omma.
Fuck.
He was picking her up…and she wanted to see if Young Do was going. And she wanted to ask him in person, rather than just text.
Yun Yong Jin had to have been dropped on his head as a child.
There was no other reason for such blatant stupidity.
Soon after class, he came to her locker.
Rachel just blinked at him.
"Yoo Rachel, can I speak to you about something?"
Oh god, if he told her he liked her or something, she would actually kill him. She wouldn't even need Young Do.
"Yes…" she said, discouragingly. Maybe he would get scared and go away.
"I felt that as your…colleague…I should offer you some advice."
Colleague?! Advice?!
Rachel only stared. Maybe if she stayed still, he would think she wasn't there or something.
Yong Jin cleared his throat, god he was so pompous. He had a bigger ego than Rachel!
But. He was still number 3. And she knew it gutted him, just the way Chan Young being number 1 gutted her.
"What advice?" She put on her best icy voice. The voice Omma used.
"I think you have been in the company of certain individuals, which might affect your reputation negatively. And as a compatriot, I advise you to reconsider who you associate with, as it may not bode well for your future endeavors."
Was he..
Did he..
Had he..
Rachel knew exactly what he was saying, but she only said, "What?"
Yong Jin looked pained, and then said, "I have noticed that you are in the presence of Choi Young Do a lot. And I do not think that is a good idea."
Oh. Dear. God.
"Why?" Rachel tilted her head to the side.
"Because, he is…a reformed school bully. With questionable connections. And I think you have more potential than that."
"Questionable connections?" Rachel hissed.
"Well, people have been talking…and I do not think it is good for you…"
"People have been talking?"
"Yes, there has been gossip. And—" he stopped, as he took in her expression, and his eyes darted away.
Finally, Yong Jin started to look a little frightened, and his eyes widened.
"Are you out of your goddamn mind?"
"Er…yes…I just think you can do better than Choi Young Do. I should really—" His words came out hurriedly.
"Do you have a death wish? I don't need Young Do, I will destroy you myself." It felt a little freeing to be able to talk this way, after measuring her words for so long.
"I just…don't think it's a good idea. He's been a bully…and you shouldn't…just last week, there was an incident…actually, can we continue this later?"
Incident?
"What incident?"
Yong Jin's previously smug expression had been replaced by a petrified one, and Rachel was confused—
She felt his presence before she heard his voice.
"Yes, what incident, Yong Jin-ah? Please, do regale me with the same tales you've been telling Rachel." Young Do sounded amused.
Oh no. Rachel closed her eyes for a second.
Yong Jin looked ready to faint, and despite his being a horrible person in general, she felt for him. This was his worst nightmare.
Young Do had confessed to her once about how he knew exactly who was scared of him.
He'd named Yong Jin at the top of the list.
"What about Myung Soo?" Rachel had asked.
Young Do had looked at her then as if she'd slapped him across the face.
"I don't think Myung Soo is scared of me. And I wouldn't want him to be either." He'd answered finally, his voice very quiet.
Rachel hadn't dared to ask her next question, which was "What about me?"
"I…" Yong Jin's face was slowly crumpling.
"Tsk. Now we can't have that, Yong Jin. If you care so much about Rachel, then you should careenough to act like a man in front of her."
Yong Jin just shook his head.
And Rachel felt sick.
Young Do was playing with the hem of her skirt again, and she grabbed his hand, and held it tightly.
"Well go on then, fucking tell her what happened." Young Do barked, and both Yong Jin and Rachel jumped.
"Noth—nothing…"Yong Jin's face was bright red now, and he just shook his head again.
"You're so eager to talk to Rachel, but now cat's got your tongue, asshole?"
Rachel was scared to see what would happen.
So she decided to intervene. She couldn't let this unfold.
"Go."
"What?" Both Yong Jin and Young Do said it at the same time.
"Walk away, Yong Jin. Now."
Young Do leaned to whisper in her ear, "Just what are you doing?"
Rachel braced herself, and then turned enough so she could reach his cheek, and placed a soft kiss, "I want to talk to you alone, please."
So that Yong Jin would see. And know.
Young Do furrowed his eyebrow, and pulled her closer. She didn't let go of his hand, and made a dismissive gesture towards Yong Jin with her other hand.
"Why are you still standing here? Go."
Yong Jin started backing away, but before he turned around, Rachel, who was losing feeling in her hand, delivered a parting shot, "Next time, Yong Jin, you want to give me advice, you can tell Young Do first. He'll pass the message on to me, if he wants. Okay?"
Yong Jin almost broke out into a run. And it would have been funny. But it wasn't.
Young Do turned Rachel around. He watched Yong Jin retreat with narrowed eyes.
"What the fuck was that?"
She felt shaky, and leaned into him a little.
She licked her lips before answering, "I…don't know. I really don't."
"That fucking piece of shit. I'm gonna—" He was still looking down the hall.
"Young Do, please."
Finally he looked down, and frowned, "Why are you so upset? You actually think that asshole is right?"
What?!
"What?" She looked at him in bewilderment, "I don't care what he says."
"Really, because you were hanging onto his words."
"What?!" She repeated.
He looked irritable, and then snapped, "Nothing. Never mind."
"No. Tell me. How was I 'hanging onto his words'?"
Young Do chewed on his lip before answering, "I walk up to your delightful conversation, and then instead of letting me take care of him, you let him go."
"Young—" she stopped, to rub at her forehead. Her head felt like it would explode.
"I don't care about anything Yong Jin says. And he is an asshole, but I can take care of him myself. You don't need to get involved, unless I ask you."
"Oh really, is that so?"
"Yes." Why did he have to be so difficult?
"What else did he say?" Young Do demanded.
"Nothing."
"Are you protecting Yun Yong Jin?"
In a way, yes. Because she knew Young Do would demolish him.
"Shut up, Young Do."
"Oh, so it's easy for you to tell me to shut up, but not Yong Jin?"
She gaped up at him. Was he serious?
"In fact, why don't you go be with Yong Jin, since you like listening to him so much?"
Rachel's eyes widened.
And Young Do continued, "Since you're so protective of him, why don't you—"
"Fuck you, Young Do." Her voice came out wobbly. And she felt close to tears.
"Shit. Rachel…" he grabbed her arm, "Fuck. I'm—I just got carried—"
"Carried away? Like you always do? Like you've been doing since forever?"
His face darkened.
"So you did listen to Yong Jin?"
"I didn't listen to Yong Jin, I already know. Myung Soo knows. Bo Na knows. You're acting…this way…and you won't even tell me what's wrong!"
"Well, don't worry about it. Yong Jin and all will keep you informed." He said nastily.
Rachel yanked her arm out of his grasp, and, with clenched teeth, said "You're such a—This conversation is over."
Instantly, his face changed, "Fuck. Fuck. That's not what I—Rach—you know I—"
"No." She cut him off.
Young Do's face shut down then.
"I don't want to talk about this—"
"I'm sorry. We don't have to, I was just say—"
"And," Rachel barreled on, "I actually don't want to talk to you right now, either."
He was turning paler by the second.
"You don't want to talk to me?" He barely moved his lips.
"No. I don't." Her voice sounded stronger than she felt.
"You always do this."
She felt her temper rise. How dare he blame this on her?!
"And I wonder why that is."
He pursed his lips, "You're not fun, Rachel."
Fun? This was supposed to be fun?
She did explode then, "I'm not fun?! I'm not fun?! Because I don't approve of the stupid things you do?! Because I call you out, so I'm not fun?! You're not fun! You're an overgrown child!"
"Whatever."
"Exactly: whatever. I'm leaving now."
"Have fun with Johnny. I'm sure you'll enjoy each other's company." He said, viciously.
Why? Why say it when he knew everything?
So Rachel summoned that cruelty that hadn't emerged since her last encounter with Eun Sang, "Oh, don't worry. I definitely will enjoy Johnny's company. He's much nicer than you've been to me all week."
Which was slightly untrue.
Young Do was furious at that.
"I haven't been nice to you?!" He practically roared.
Good. She wanted him as angry as she was.
"No. You haven't. And since you're not going to start anytime soon, I'm going to leave now."
Rachel swiftly turned around, but then remembered—she looked back over her shoulder to deliver a parting shot:
"I was going to ask you if you were going to the gala tonight. Or at least arrive at the same time…but you've been so horrible, and terrible that I don't want to anymore. Maybe I'll see you there. Maybe I won't. Goodbye."
She left him standing there, her ears burning.
And it would have been a flawless exit had Johnny not taken another 5 minutes to arrive…
By which time, Young Do followed her outside, and hovered around, glowering at her…while standing a few feet away.
Rachel stuck her nose in the air, and pretended all 6 ft 2 inches of him did not exist.
And it was hard.
Because it was raining. And slightly chilly. And her skirt was shorter, as always.
And…he knew.
Because he moved closer to her, when he saw her slight shivering.
He towered over her, and Rachel could feel the heat radiating from his body.
She wanted to kick him and kiss him.
She did neither. She kept ignoring him.
Despite her jacket and knee highs, her thighs were getting colder.
And of course, Young Do noticed.
"You're going to catch a cold." He indicated towards her legs.
It was such an utterly stupid statement that she made no response.
"I can see you shivering, Rachel."
She looked right at him as she rolled her eyes, heavily.
Before she'd even finished—he'd opened up his jacket and enveloped her inside—her back flat against his chest.
It felt good. Really good. Which is why she got even more annoyed.
She tried to, unsuccessfully, wriggle out of his grasp, and her efforts were futile.
"Stop—stop it—let—go—" , her efforts also left her panting against the struggle.
He tightened his coat around her, and she couldn't help but notice how well she…fit.
"No. You're cold."
"Ha! Aren't you the one who said I have a heart of ice. Maybe I'm just cold on the inside."
"That's true, too."
His agreement infuriated her.
And she struggled harder.
"Since I'm so cold, why don't you let go of me, and go away! Maybe Yong Jin will appreciate, since you're so eager to pawn me off to him."
"Are you scared Johnny will see?" his voice was slightly challenging. He completely ignored the other part of her statement.
She couldn't even roll her eyes. She could only slowly close them.
"Actually, I hope he will. And then hopefully, he'll get angry. And then hopefully he'll kick your ass—"
Young Do scoffed.
"And then you'll get angry. And you'll kick his ass. And then you'll both fight to the death. And end upmurdering each other. And then I'll finally be at peace. Because you're both annoying me. So, continue. I hope you both do murder each other."
"Nonsense." She could hear the laughter in his voice.
So now he was laughing? Now he was in a good mood? After thoroughly ruining hers?
"You're nonsense."
Young Do leaned down to her ear, and whispered, "You don't want me to die. You'd miss me too much."
She would. But not with the way he'd been acting lately.
"I would. But not with the way you've been acting lately."
"Hmm. You're still on that?"
Still on that? It was 10 minutes ago!
He ruined everything. Rachel had finally started to calm down…and then he had to go spoil it.
She pushed away from him, and then tried to shove him too. He didn't budge.
"Yes. I'm 'still on that'. And you're still acting like this. So, yes, I'm still on this."
He shoved his hands into his pockets and narrowed his eyes.
Rachel finally saw Johnny pull up in his car.
Young Do saw him too, and raised a hand in greeting.
Johnny nodded, and gestured for Rachel to come to the car.
Rachel regarded Young Do unhappily, and he snapped, "Don't look at me like that."
That hurt. It hurt her feelings. But she would never tell him.
"How about I don't look at you at all?" She said, trying to keep her voice from wobbling.
"Rachel—" He made a face.
"Maybe I'll see you tonight, maybe I won't. Bye." She repeated.
She finally walked to the car, not looking back—the misty rain cooling the heat in her cheeks.
"Everything alright?" Johnny asked, cheerfully.
Oh, so now everyone was in a good mood, and wanted to talk?
"Just peachy."
Johnny made the same face Young Do had just made: bewilderment at her tacitness.
Rachel picked a white lace dress. It was becoming something of a tradition.
Last time she'd gone to one of these stupid things, she'd worn a white dress. So. Maybe only twice.
And last time she'd gone to one of these stupid things she'd kissed Young Do.
Even now, the memory caused her face to heat up. How daring had she been.
What would happen this time?
The third time.
Omma looked over Rachel critically, and nodded.
They were quiet. Johnny's mood was affecting everyone.
And then Omma dropped a bomb.
"Johnny and I have to go to Taiwan tonight."
Johnny was becoming the face of RS International.
They were both leaving her again.
And this time, Young Do was mad too.
Rachel found Lee Bo Na. Lee Bo Na found Rachel.
They both sat, watching the glitz and glamour.
Neither was impressed.
"Where's Young Do?" Bo Na asked.
Rachel shrugged. She didn't ask where Chan Young was. They both knew he wasn't allowed in some places.
Questionable connections. It rang through Rachel's head.
"What do you like about Chan Young?"
Lee Bo Na broke out into a smile, and normally Rachel would have gagged, but she felt wistful…and she missed Young Do, but she would bury that thought deep, deep, deep down.
"Everything."
This time Rachel did gag.
"Fine," Bo Na rolled her eyes, "I like that he's a good person."
"A good person?"
"Chan Young genuinely is a nice person. He never tries to hurt anyone."
Rachel felt…what about Young Do then?
Bo Na took in Rachel's expression, and said, "But that doesn't mean he's perfect. I mean, yes, he actually is perfect…but Chan Young…struggles too."
Rachel kept her eyes on her drink. She felt like crying, and keeping her eyes glued in one place helped.
"You know, Rachel, all men are broken."
What?
"What does that mean?"
"It means that all men are broken. That they have some weakness…or something that affects them…and…"
"But Young Do's not a man…"
"He's not?"
"He still acts boyish…wait, all men are broken? What about Chan Young?"
"I think Young Do is a man. And so is Chan Young."
This was getting a little heavy. Rachel wasn't sure if she wanted to keep listening.
But Bo Na looked like she needed to confess…so Rachel listened guardedly.
"Chan Young is…broken in his own way."
"Really?"
"Yes. He overcompensates."
"I've noticed. He's still number one in our class."
"And he works himself too hard. And I think it's because of his mother's passing." Bo Na said in a small voice.
These boys and their mothers. Rachel felt like weeping.
"You think Young Do is a man, too?"
"Yes."
"But he's not a man. And he hasn't been acting like one." Rachel sounded too emotional, so she controlled her tone.
"I know, but you have to see why."
"And what is it, our job to fix them?" Rachel said scornfully.
"Well you could use it against them, too."
Lee Bo Na was saying this?
"But I wouldn't…"
Rachel couldn't imagine using anything against Young Do, as infuriating as he could be.
Bo Na stretched slightly, and said, "Chan Young just makes me want to be a better person."
Rachel was surprised…
Bo Na was pretty, dressed nice, mostly competent. Sure, she could be smarter but that was a moot point.
"But you are better! There's not much else you need to do!" Except try to be smarter, Rachel thought silently.
Bo Na smiled. "He makes me want to be nicer."
"Nicer?"
"I'm not nice. We're not nice, Rachel. We can be really mean."
"But don't you think we're justified when we do that?"
Bo Na contemplated her words, and tilted her head, "Explain"
"We've been horrid to each other with reason. You hated Cha Eun Sang because you thought she'd try to steal your boyfriend. Funny thing is…she stole mine."
Bo Na made a sympathetic face.
"I've been terrible to Ye Sol because she's a terrible person. So she deserves it."
Bo Na tutted.
"Come off it, Bo Na. Even if we're awful to each other, it's not real. At least we're open in our meanness."
"I guess…"
"You know I'm right. Fine, people still like you, but why am I considered a bitch?"
"Mmmm…"
"And don't say because I don't smile. Or because I slapped Cha Eun Sang."
"I don't know…I really don't…"
"Think about this, Bo Na: have either of us ever gone after a guy with a girlfriend…?"
"Well…she didn't really go after—"
"Semantics," Rachel said curtly, and then added, "And if you try to defend her at all, Lee Bo Na, I swear…"
Rachel trailed off, and glared at Bo Na, who was still dithering with her response.
"Well?" Rachel raised an eyebrow.
"God, you're as annoying as Choi Young Do…fine, fine, no! As soon as I find out if a guy is attached, he's off-limits…no matter the circumstance. But that was all before Chan Young…"
"Yes, yes, I get it. But. You see my point, don't you?"
Bo Na nodded reluctantly, making a face.
"We're the bitches. Yeah, don't make that face, people do think you're a bitch too…yet we've never cheated…so you tell me, who are the real mean girls?"
"It's not just based on cheating though…I'm trying to be a nicer person in general…Chan Young is genuinely so kind, that I feel inadequate at times…"
"He's lucky to have you…"
Irritating though she might be, really annoying in fact, enough that Rachel sometimes fantasized about "accidentally" pushing her down the stairs…
Lee Bo Na was one of a kind.
"Bo Na, Young Do told me I was sweet. When I want to be."
Bo Na wrinkled her nose, then smiled, but Rachel continued…
"I don't think that's true though…you might have good qualities…but I don't think I'm sweet at all. I think I can be downright hideous…"
The smile slid off Bo Na's face, "Oh Rachel, why?"
Rachel's face felt like plastic. She couldn't form words anymore, because she knew she would dissolve into tears.
"Did something happen with Young Do?"
Rachel nodded.
"Listen, I don't know what it's like between you two—"
"What if Young Do likes me because I'm an awful person? And what if I'm awful to him? Like the way he used to—the way he is—" She broke off.
Bo Na peered at her face, and then said, "Listen, carefully. First, you just said it yourself: you're not awful. And if you were, you had reason to be.
Second, Young Do carefully considers people. I think you're really annoying, and I actually hate you at times, but..Young Do wouldn't just like anyone…and don't mention Cha Eun Sang.
Third, I know Young Do very well. I've known him a different way than you. He's not—I know he's up to something again these days, and I reamed him out about it…"
Rachel was surprised, "When?"
"A week ago…and countless times before. He avoided me for a good month, one time."
Rachel raised her eyebrows for her to continue.
Bo Na snorted, "God, you've picked up his habits. Anyways. He does stupid things, and we need to remind him of who he is…he called me a banshee because I kept screaming at him because he brought those two fucking idiots into Myung Soo's studio…"
Rachel was…processing this. And then—"I got mad at him, and told him I didn't want to talk to him because of his behavior…"
"How did he react?"
"He got upse—he got really mad. At me."
Her voice wobbled at that, "Do you think I'm being unfair, Bo Na?"
Bo Na considered her, then said, "No. You were mad for a valid reason. I'm mad at him too. I told him too."
"What did he say?"
"He rolled his eyes and told me he was one step closer in getting Chan Young to fall in love with him…"
Rachel just stared.
So he was fine kidding around with Lee Bo Na, but with her?
"Rachel, we could talk about his behavior and everything he does, and we'd still be clueless."
"So then, how are you and Chan Young so good?"
Lee Bo Na blushed and then smiled prettily, "Because we talk to one another. If I have a problem, I go to Chan Young first."
"Hmmm…"
"If you don't know, he'll have to teach you. And same for him. But you'll have to talk."
Bo Na left soon after, and Omma found Rachel.
"Well, this party has dried up fast."
Rachel nodded.
And then Omma turned with her laser gaze, and said, "There's a lot you're not telling me these days, Rachel."
"It's not like you've asked…" She muttered.
Omma gave her an icy glare, "Yet Junghwan knows all?"
Dammit. What did Omma know?
"Rachel, I know there's something going on…"
"There's always something going on…"
"Don't be cute. Who is he?"
Rachel felt the blood rushing in her ears. But she didn't play dumb. Omma would eviscerate her if she did.
"Does it matter?" She mumbled.
"Maybe."
She'd learned her tactics from her mother.
"I don't want to say."
If looks could kill.
"Rachel…"
"You're leaving. That's why you're asking. Last-minute parenting."
Omma looked ready to spit fire.
"Rachel, stop it."
"Omma. You're not—never mind." Her tongue became thick.
"You think I'll disapprove?"
"I know you will."
"And what will happen if I do?"
Rachel looked Omma square in the eyes and said, "What will happen? Nothing will happen."
Omma narrowed her eyes.
"I'm not expecting to ever be happy. Or ever to get what I want. You and Appa taught me that lesson thoroughly."
"Rachel, what—" her mother looked stricken.
"Omma, I do like someone. And he likes me. But you will hate him. And that's all that will happen. And I know that. So, please, spare me the lecture."
"You're scaring me, Rachel."
She was also scaring herself. Things that she'd kept deeply repressed were unveiling themselves.
Omma took her hand, and led her out into the hallway.
"My darling, fool daughter, what are you saying?"
That's how Rachel knew she had a chance.
Appa used to say that to Rachel endearingly.
And she wished he was here.
He probably wouldn't understand. Or care. But still…
"Omma, the boy I like…he's told me he likes me…and that's all I can tell you…" Her lip trembled.
"God, I need a drink. I wish I could say I could spare you the pain with whatever you're doing…but I can't. Even if I could…I wouldn't be able to. That reckless, idiotic, worthless boy—did enough damage."
Omma stopped to catch her breath, before continuing, "I don't want you to go through that again. I still have a list of suitable
boys if you're—okay, okay—don't cry! I won't force you to."
Omma smoothed her hand over Rachel's hair, "My beautiful girl. Even if Appa and I couldn't…just. Just be careful. I won't have you tell me now, but eventually you'll have to."
Rachel nodded unhappily.
"And Rachel, even if you think you don't, you deserve to be happy. I'm happy. Your father's happy—"
"Is he?" Rachel interjected.
Omma's eyebrow knitted, then cleared—"Yes, yes, I think he is."
"And if Junghwan has approved of this boy…thank your lucky stars…"
Omma had loosened up a lot over the past year.
And Kim Tan's betrayal wasn't the only reason…
Rachel had secrets of her own, but she also had other people's secrets…Johnny's, Bo Na's, Young Do's,Omma's….
If Rachel ever wanted to effectively ruin her somewhat fragile relationship with her mother singlehandedly, she only had to say:
"Omma, I know about you and Chan Young's father…"
But she didn't. And she wouldn't.
And she knew that had something to do with why Omma was out of the country so much.
And why she was going to Taiwan tonight.
"Omma, did Johnny tell you about me…liking someone?"
Omma scoffed. "Please. Those whispered phone calls, your little sleepovers…he would have cracked like an egg if I'd asked…"
Rachel was impressed, her mother's intuition was something…
"Then, how did you know?"
"Rachel, I gave birth to you. How would I not know?"
Her mother's intuition, indeed.
By the time Rachel got home, it was 9:30, yet it felt later. Omma and Johnny had departed an hour before.
She felt very…emotional.
So. She decided to call the one person she'd been aching to talk to…
"Hello?"
"Hi…"
"You're back?"
"Yes. Just a few minutes ago."
"Oh. Did you have a good time?" His voice was so deep and soothing, that she felt some of her anxiety lessen…
She lay down on her bed, curled on her side…
"It was…okay."
"Just okay?"
"People liked my dress. They told me I looked pretty."
"Send me a picture."
Her heartbeat quickened at that—he wanted to see how she looked…
"Mmm…in a bit. I'm lying down."
"Tired?"
"Not really."
"Hmm."
There was silence, and then Rachel blurted, "I thought you might not answer the phone…"
He didn't reply for a few seconds, and her anxiety returned.
"I…considered it."
Her stomach twisted…as did her heart…and her mouth.
She sat up, "Really?"
He sighed heavily, and was about to say something—
But there was a loud rap on her door.
Dammit, what did Chae Lee want now?!
"Hold on…"
Rachel caught a glimpse of herself in her mirror, and she looked like a princess. Beautiful, but miserable.
The story of her life.
She didn't bother to disguise her expression. Chae Lee had been there for the worst.
"Chae Lee, if you need to leave—"
Rachel's words died in her throat.
If she looked like a princess in her white lace dress, then here was Choi Young Do, like her dragon, outlined by the darkness of the hallway, in his black leather jacket.
"Really." He scoffed.
When Rachel was 9, along with A Little Princess, she'd been obsessed with another book, called The Princess and Her Dragon.
She'd found it in a quaint little bookshop when she'd gone to Edinburgh with her father.
It was about a princess who was saved by a dragon…from the Evil Prince…and he could take the form of a handsome young man.
She'd loved it because the dragon was shimmery and black, and turned into an angry young man, and was tall, with a deep voice, and heavy eyebrows…
And the princess, who'd remained unnamed had worn a beautiful…white lace dress…that progressively got in worse shape as their adventures progressed…
Rachel still had that book somewhere, and in hindsight, it was a terribly written book, and had apparently been the only copy…
But she'd liked to fantasize that she was the Princess…and she needed her Dragon…
(She'd also liked to fantasize that her relationship with her father was like that of Sara Crew and her father's.
It wasn't.
The only thing they had in common was the excessive purchasing of extravagant gifts.)
But as she stared up at Young Do, looking every inch the angry young man…no—more like the Dragon, and as she remembered she was wearing a white lace dress—Rachel wondered if she actually and fulfilled a literary childhood fantasy…
And Kim Tan did fit the description of the baby-faced Evil Prince…
"What…what are you doing here?"
"Can I come in?"
Rachel almost felt giddy…he was wearing all black, and while she could feel the anger crackling off of him, he looked incredibly handsome…
Casual clothing brought out his features…
She felt giddy because he was here…and he would see her in her dress…she didn't care what had happened earlier today. And apparently, neither did Young Do.
He was blatantly checking her out.
"Very pretty…" He murmured, as he took her hand and kissed her wrist…
Rachel's heart was singing and beating fast…
She knew she was supposed to play it cool…but she didn't fucking care…
She stepped closer to him, placed her hands on his shoulders, and kissed him full on the mouth.
Even in her heels, she had to stand on her tiptoes, and she teetered against him…
He steadied her by the waist, and she took advantage to kiss his chin…
And then his mouth again…
And she kept kissing him until they were walking backwards towards her bed…
They both toppled—him first, and she sidled up near him—not wanting to stop kissing his face…
Young Do raised himself on his elbows, and let her continue—
Before he slowly sat up…
Rachel drew back from him…and his mouth was pink from her lipstick…
And now that her giddiness was disappearing, she remembered their conversation…
"I wanted to see how you looked in your dress."
"And…and how do I look?" Her voice was wobbly.
He leaned in closer, but didn't kiss her…he only said, "You look beautiful. Like a princess."
How did he know?!
Rachel blurted, "You look like a dragon."
There was a painstaking silence.
"I look like a…dragon?" He looked at her like she was talking nonsense.
Which she was.
"I wish you were there tonight. I…missed you." She changed the subject, instead.
His expression went from incredulity to softness…
He leaned in more, to kiss her this time.
Rachel sighed against his mouth, and he slowly drew back.
"I'm so tired, but I had another meeting." He said.
He looked tired. And unhappy.
And Rachel felt that 'maternal instincts' rise.
"Do you—do you want to lie down?"
Young Do stilled…but then broke out into a small grin…
"Okay. But will you lie down with me?"
She was flailing inside, but she coolly nodded, "Yeah, okay, we can order food too."
"Are you going to change?" He gestured towards her dress.
Not yet! She wanted to look pretty…prettier actually…for a while longer…
"Not yet. I like this…dress…"
He snickered and then muttered, "Cute…" before giving her a small peck, as he started to settle back against her pillows.
Rachel kept her bed comfortable…and pretty.
She kept everything pretty. Prettiness was her domain.
And even surrounded by fluffy white covers—even by—Rachel never thought of herself as "girly" until Young Do…
He stuck out like a sore thumb in her room.
It would have been less obvious if the word NAMJA had been flashing over his head.
Young Do looked dangerous…still…
But strangely, Johnny fit right in…
"Come on…" Young Do patted the space next to him…
And she complied…but that's when she felt the first stirring of something gone awry…
Young Do was so tall and muscular and strong…
His body was so different from hers…
Obviously, she knew it was…but lying down with him…was a new way of telling…
He had one arm folded behind his head and the other around her…
His jacket was soft…and his sweater felt fuzzy…
Her favorite part was her legs intertwining with his…
She couldn't see his face, but she could feel his heartbeat.
And since she couldn't see his face, she felt braver…
He was also very quiet…
"Young Do-ah…"
"Yes…?"
"I'm sorry."
She could feel him become more alert—
And he twisted to his side, so he was facing her…he had to scoot down a bit so that their faces were level…
"Sorry about what?"
She played with the collar of his jacket…
"Just…everything…I know you're upset about something…and I haven't been the nicest…I'm sorry about today…"
"What do you mean, Rachel?" He played with a strand of her hair.
Rachel decided to be blunt then, "I know something's wrong. Ever since that phone call with your…father."
Young Do's face hardened, but he kept playing with her hair.
He looked…exhausted and unhappy. And Rachel felt a ball of emotion rise in her throat.
She smoothed a hand over his cheek, and then settled it over his ears, rubbing the tops of them…
Appa used to do that when she was little…and tired…
But she was not 7 anymore.
Young Do still hadn't said anything, but pushed her hand away, and rolled onto his stomach.
He crossed his arms and hid his face in her pillow.
"All men are broken." Lee Bo Na's words flashed through her mind…
So was Young Do broken then? This broken boy. Even if he'd had sex with someone…he was still lost.
Despite that, Rachel couldn't help but feel…a little stung…that he'd all but slapped her hand away…and why did her mind always jump to him having sex?
Because you want to have sex with him, idiot. Nasty Rachel whispered.
She sat there frozen, trying to figure out just what the hell to do, when she heard Young Do's muffled voice, "Lie down with me. Don't leave."
Oh dear.
Carefully, she sidled up next to him, lying on her side—and he subtly shifted towards her.
She rubbed his ear again, and he sighed, contentedly.
Rachel decided to test something, and placed a hand on his back…and rubbed it.
It was like touching a rock.
"Ya, why are you so tense?" She whispered.
"I've been like that since I was 13…" He whispered back, in a "girly" voice…
He was imitating her…!
"Ya!" She mock-yelled, and hit him on the back with a fist.
Young Do groaned, and Rachel panicked. For a second.
"Did that hurt?"
"No, it felt good."
And then Rachel was struck by an idea, she sat up, and reached under his jacket to attempt to massage his back.
Young Do made a whining noise…well, as close to a whining noise someone with his voice and staturecould make.
Without thinking, Rachel climbed over him, and straddled him—sitting on his butt.
She had a feeling it might hurt his spine…if she sat on his spine…
"Oof…" Was all she heard.
"I'll give you a massage."
Since he'd "given" her one.
And maybe even if he didn't want to talk yet, he would at least feel better?
"Do you know how to give one?"
How hard could it be? It was just massaging someone…?
"…Yes."
She had a feeling he was laughing, but she couldn't see his face…
What was so funny?
So she hit on the shoulder, and snapped, "What's so funny?"
"Nothing. Nothing. Just…start…whenever…"
She was tempted to hit him again.
Instead, she leaned forward a little, and tried to figure out where to start…
It would be easier if he wasn't wearing a stupid leather jacket.
Rachel was starting to feel less like a Princess and more like a Dragon.
"Ya! Young Do-ahhh, do you want me to do this or no?" Now she was properly whining.
"Tsk…what?" He sounded irritated.
"I said, do you want me to do this or no?! Because you're making me feel really stupid…"
His sigh was long-suffering.
"Don't feel stupid. What do you want me to do?" He asked patiently.
Although Rachel was tempted to sulk, she decided not to.
"Take off your jacket."
"Okay."
Rachel didn't know if could be attributed to the judo…
(She knew nothing about judo. Nothing.)
Or…just something…
But before she knew it, Young Do had flipped over…under her…so she was straddling his hips now…
How…?!
"I like this view…" He whispered.
Rachel did her world-renowned impression of a cucumber.
She leaned back a little bit…but it was still…
"Just stay there. Don't move…" Young Do said quietly, as he sat up…and started to shrug off his jacket…and winced a little…
That shook Rachel out of her shock…
And rather than opening her mouth and saying something stupid, she helped him take off his jacket…
"Did you get hurt?"
"Something with my shoulder. I got a little carried away…"
"I've been hitting you on the shoulder! You should've told me!"
He grabbed her wrist and kissed it, "It's fine. I'm fine."
Rachel just frowned at him. She understood if he wasn't telling her about his family issues…
But this was bizarre…
They got his jacket off though, and then Young Do was in a fitted, short sleeved black T-shirt which only emphasized his already impressive shoulders…and arms…
She was going to die. Really.
It seemed they were both affected…because Young Do shifted, so he could hold her better, and her arms went around his shoulders…
And then they were kissing…
Well…not exactly…
Young Do kept nibbling and biting at her lips…and then he would draw back to see her reaction…
Her reaction? Her reaction was to pant…and…that was it…except…
Rachel made a whining noise too…and that seemed to satisfy him, because he kissed her then…
He rolled them over so that they were lying down…
"I guess this means you don't want the massage?"
"Later, I do. But you can also massage my—"
"Young Do!"
Young Do kissed her, and then drew back. He stared at her intently.
And them situated himself so he wasn't crushing her with his weight—and their legs intertwined…again.
And then, with his help, her leg ended up wrapping around his waist…her shoes still on.
He was kissing her—
And she couldn't concentrate—
It was as if her tongue and lips were coated in honey—because that's how he was kissing her—
Like he was tasting her—
And thank god her bedroom door was locked—
They were in a very compromising position—but Chae Lee never barged in—
And her dress was somewhat constricting—
So, he smoothly pulled it up—over her legs—
Her bare legs—
And his hand was on her hip—
Touching her underwear—
And then Young Do was sitting up, breathing hard…and staring at her now exposed hip…
She was confused, "What—what is it?"
Rachel was breathless. He'd left her breathless.
"You're wearing lace…white lace…" he croaked.
…and? His behavior was baffling her a little.
She just looked at him; questioningly…did he like sexier underwear?
Did she really care if he did?
Maybe…maybe sometime wayyyy in the future she might take his preference into account…
But that was neither here nor there.
"I—I…" Young Do flopped face down on her bed. Again.
She stared down at him. What was happening?!
And then at herself—she couldn't get her dress ruined and wrinkled…
"I'm going to go change…" She murmured.
His answer was a muffled groan.
Changing into dresses was a pain in the ass—because Rachel liked to think of herself as graceful, but there had been one horrific incident as a child that she'd ripped a Chanel dress…
She shuddered thinking of Omma's expression…
And there was that Proenza Schouler dress…that Young Do had….
"Are you sure it's not just a ploy to let him see you naked, sweetie? You can't get your own dresses off?" Nasty Rachel cackled.
Oh god, what if her fear of ruining couture dresses, combined with slight laziness, and a sense of entitlement—princesses had people dress them all the time—was actually a cover for trying to show off to Young Do?!
But no, there were holes in that logic. She'd been doing it since she was a child.
Young Do had come along and made things…different.
Rachel realized that she'd forgotten her robe and pajamas outside.
And she didn't want to ask Young Do to get them either, because in his current mood, he'd probably start…he'd probably do something weird…
Ukh…so annoying.
She would have to go outside and get it.
Rachel peered outside the bathroom door, and looked around for…she didn't see him anywhere.
She looked around her room, and he wasn't small enough to hide anywhere.
Had he—had he actually left?
After all that, he'd left? He hadn't even told her?
Rachel screamed in frustration, and retreated into her safe space. Her safe haven. Her pink closet.
And ran into Young Do's back.
He hadn't left.
He was staring at her shoes, his arms crossed.
Rachel wondered what he was doing.
"What are you doing?" She asked.
"You didn't change? And were you screaming?" He glanced over at her.
"I…thought you'd left."
"I wouldn't leave without saying goodbye." He looked at her so seriously, that Rachel felt…very aware of him…
"You like wearing heels, don't you? Why?"
Why?
"Because I wish I was taller. And because they're always pretty. And they make my legs look nice."
"You don't need to be taller. You're the perfect height. You fit with me."
Rachel hoped he couldn't see the hearts above her head.
How could he say such—cheesy—things?
She swatted at his arm, and said, "But I want to be taller."
Young Do patted her on the head, and said, "You're cute. Like a perfect little princess."
Cute? Perfect? Little?!
"Sh-shut up, Young Do." She muttered.
"Rachel, you're wearing butterfly shoes. If that's not cute, I don't know what is. And I like it."
True. She was wearing butterfly heels.
"I don't want to be cute."
"I know. You want to be the opposite."
She was intrigued by that. She liked that Young Do paid attention to the details.
"Oh really? How do you know?" She felt her heart beat faster, inexplicably.
"Because you'll wear anything on your feet that's dangerous. Or too high."
"Dangerous?"
He smiled at her, "Yes. Dangerous."
She liked that. She liked that he recognized that violence behind her choices.
She liked that he understood the image she wanted to portray.
But she was wearing butterfly shoes, "What about these then?"
Young Do stared down at her feet, "Those are high enough…but pretty. Very cute."
She was starting to hate that word.
"I'm not cute."
And then Young Do patted her head, "But you are."
Rachel took a page out of his book then, and pushed him against the wall.
She tried to be rough, but it wasn't working, because Young Do was clearly fighting back a grin.
"If I look like a dragon, then are you my princess?" he asked.
Rachel wanted to show him, she wanted to make him pant. Even if his words got more hearts to flutter over her head.
She pulled his head down, and her leg ended between his, and Young Do was laughing even as she bit his lip, and stuck her tongue in his mouth.
She'd wanted to be rough, and she'd wanted to intimidate him, and it really was not working.
Because Young Do was essentially holding her up, and he broke off their kiss, to place feathery kisses on her neck, before setting her back on her feet.
"I don't understand why you want to be dangerous, when you are so much more." He said in a hushed voice.
She ceased her attack, as he stared down at her, both of them breathing hard.
"I know you don't like these words, but I like them, for you. I do think you're adorable. And don't make that face, because it only emphasizes my point more."
"Fine." Rachel finally conceded to his point, even though she didn't agree. At all.
"Do you want to play a game?" He asked.
"What kind of game?" Rachel asked warily.
"I want you to try on different pairs of shoes? I want to see you in them."
Rachel wondered if he had a shoe fetish to match hers…
And then she didn't care, because he was asking her to do her favorite thing!
Except, since it was Choi Young Do, the game turned into something else.
/
Rachel knew she was in trouble when Young Do took off her shoes.
He'd guided her into one of her pink and gold plush chairs, and had knelt down in front of her.
Although she'd been tempted to cross her legs, he didn't let her.
Young Do carefully unbuckled her ankle strap, and carefully, slowly slid off her shoe.
He then ran his thumb along the arch of her foot, and she hissed slightly because she had never realized how sensitive her feet were.
And how it caused a sensation below her stomach
Young Do moved his thumb to the ball of her foot, and rubbed it…and then her heel.
At this point, she was a melted puddle…because Young Do lightly ran a finger up her calves and then ended at her knee.
And when she thought it couldn't get any worse (better, actually) he raised her leg to his shoulder…and then…she really was going to die…he leaned forward a little, and kissed the side of her knee.
Then he placed her leg on his shoulder.
She was a quivering mess by the time he reached her ankle, placing soft kisses as he made his way down.
And what it made it even more unbearable was the fact that they hadn't broken eye contact this whole time.
She'd never thought eye contact could be so…
Rachel felt an odd sort of relief when he finally let go of her leg.
But then he grabbed the other one.
Rachel had forgotten the principles of breathing by the time he'd finished making her try on shoes.
They'd gone through at least 15 pairs, of his choosing.
And she was convinced he had a shoe fetish.
Rachel also knew that if ever touched her feet like this again…
Young Do sat back, his hands still warm around her ankles.
"Who picks your shoes?" He asked.
Huh?
He saw the confusion on her face, "Do you pick them all out yourself? Or do other people give them to you too?"
Oh.
"Some are from Omma. A few from Johnny. I buy most of them, myself. 2 from…my dad." She said.
He glanced at her sideways, and then quietly said, "Tan?"
Rachel scoffed bitterly, "Please. My driver's more likely to get me shoes."
"You like shoes a lot?"
She laughed. "What do you think?"
Young Do looked down at the floor before raising his gaze to look at her and say, "If I got you shoes, would you put them here?"
He was looking at her so intensely.
Rachel, with Young Do's help, slid off the chair and sunk onto his lap.
She didn't answer him verbally. She kissed him hotly, and moaned into his mouth.
She sucked on his tongue hard enough, that finally she was able to elicit a response from him…
She was thrilled.
Young Do drew back from her, and they were both panting.
And he kissed her…and it was urgent…he was…kissing her passionately…
"Rachel…you're wearing…white lace…" he said between kisses.
"Mmm. I know, my dress—"
"No, not your dress…underneath your dress…"
Rachel withdrew and stared at him, "Yes…"
And he moaned, "I think about you in white lace. All the time."
Her heart slammed into her throat. What was he saying?
"I haven't been able to get the image of you in white lace out of my goddamn mind."
"Young Do!" she gasped…also because he'd dipped his head to kiss her neck.
His hands had been going wild.
And then they reached up to her hair, and he took her hair out of its bun, so it went tumbling around her shoulders.
Young Do ran his fingers through her hair.
Her entire body tingled.
He reached around her back, and unzipped her dress.
Gingerly, he peeled it off her arms…and brought it down her waist.
This was the second time he was seeing her like this, and it was very different this time.
He pulled her right against him
His shirt felt soft against her…lace was not very protective…
And Rachel gasped against his mouth…
Young Do moved his hands to her hips…
And kissed her cheek…and then the edge of her jawline…
And down her neck…
And over her collarbone…
And then…he lifted his head…
Rachel felt lost. It felt like she was close to something…but she also…
She wanted his arms around her…and he'd been peering down at her face…and without her uttering a word, he did.
Young Do lifted her chin and gave her a searing, open mouthed kiss…his tongue lingered in her mouth.
Rachel didn't know how to feel.
His hands were shaking.
They were touching her all over, and they were shaking.
Every time he touched her…she would inhale sharply…and his hands would linger.
She was nearly sobbing.
And finally it got worse.
Not really.
Rachel could feel Young Do against her. And she didn't care or freak out.
Because she'd pulled his T-shirt over his head.
And then for the second time, he was reaching around her back…
Rachel silently marveled at his finesse. And then wondered why he had such finesse…and she was so distracted by her own stupid thoughts…
That she felt the cold air…
And heard Young Do's sharp intake of breath, as he took her in…
"Rachel" he said reverently.
And she forgot to be embarrassed, because he was kissing her again…
She was plastered against his chest.
This time, he took his time with his hands.
And it was his palms, and his thumbs…
And then his mouth.
And his tongue.
And then his thumbs again.
And she was nearly bending backwards from his attention…and he was bent over her.
From his hands to his mouth…
And then she felt the blood course through her veins…and she said his name.
They were lying down on her pink floor.
He'd pulled off her dress for her, and given her his T-shirt to wear.
Rachel wanted to be close to him. And he seemed to know, because he was holding her in his arms.
"Are you going to go home?" She finally broke the silence.
"I have to." He said, quietly.
"Mmm." She wasn't disappointed, but she wasn't going to give him his shirt back.
"It's okay, I have a sweater in the car."
"I still have your white shirt."
"Keep it."
Rachel wanted to say something, but she didn't know how.
"Young Do…"
"Hmm?"
"Nothing."
"Rachel…I should tell you something."
She was alert, but she didn't let him know.
"My father forbade me from skipping school. He doesn't want me at Zeus. He wants me at school."
"Is that why you've been around so much?"
"Yes."
"Is that all?"
"Yes."
He wouldn't say more. About anything.
The week passed by in a blur. Omma and Johnny extended their trip.
At this rate Rachel could be running a sting operation, and no one would know.
She wanted to be shy around Young Do, but he wouldn't let her.
That eventually led to the bold gesture, because even if things seemed okay, Young Do wasn't.
Late Saturday night, around 2 am, there was a loud, reverberating knock on her door.
Rachel was apprehensive. This was déjà vu. She couldn't handle a bloody Young Do again.
But it was a crying Young Do. And his hands were bloody.
And how did he get in the house again?
"Young Do! Young Do-ah? What is it?" Rachel was terrified, because his eyes were swollen, and red and tears were running down his face.
She ushered him in, and he swayed slightly on his feet, as he collapsed on the floor, and she kneeled down with him, trying to control her fright.
It was fruitless, because his next words scared her out of her wits.
"Rachel," He sobbed, and the sound was painful,"Rachel, my mother left me again."